


Wanted

by nikki_ntm



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Drama, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 17:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 122,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikki_ntm/pseuds/nikki_ntm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many wounds are left open in the aftermath of the war against Xehanort. Survivors have been granted a second chance. Some want justice, others revenge, and few dream of the life and freedom that was taken from them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-reader: dramaticalhearts @tumblr  
> I'll announce warnings before each chapter.

* * *

 

A loud, shrilling screech echoed throughout Radiant Garden for the third time that day. The screech had come and gone during seven days. Sometimes it lasted for less than ten seconds, other times it lasted up to a half hour.

    Lea circled the large fountain on the island where the main entrance to Radiant Garden was. He clenched his hand around his Keyblade, shivering at the eerie sound that seemed to come from the core of the planet. The villagers called it a lament. They feared that their world was still in immense pain, that the wounds darkness had left were too deep to heal, and that their world would crumble underneath their feet like it had done thirteen years ago.

    The streets had been near empty for a week. The presence of Keyblade-wielders didn’t seem to put anyone at ease. They were just a child’s band aid on a festering flesh wound. Squads of Royal Guards had been put on standby throughout the city as yet another safety measure should the shrill screech be a war fanfare from the dark side, but fear still lay thick in the air. The Restoration Committee was, too, all ready for combat. Together they had come up with a strategy in case Radiant Garden was attacked again. Lea, alongside Roxas and Riku, were the first line of defense.

    With Xehanort defeated, they had all hoped that none of this would be necessary anymore, but the darkness that Xehanort had roused would come in waves. Yen Sid had warned them all.

The screech became louder. Lea covered his ears, but the noise settled inside his head until it suddenly vanished. Everything was quiet. The sound of twittering birds, even the noise of summer insects, seemed to have disappeared with it. Then the earth shook.

    Lea stood steady on his feet, looking around for dark spots of gnawing Heartless, but saw none. The screech had turned into a low rumble. The waves splashed up high on the stone walls until everything just stopped. The golden gates flew open with a gust of harsh wind that cracked the tile halfway to the fountain.

    “Show yourself!” Lea yelled. Embers licked the palms of his hand. The magic didn’t come from his darkness within anymore, but from a pendant Merlin had given to him. They had been told to only use magic in emergencies. The light it took to use magic for good was bright enough to light up a path for darkness.

    Lea stood up straight. Ahead, a woman stumbled forward. She looked at the golden gates with eyes wide as she walked past it. Her mouth fell open as she brought her trembling hands to her face, subconsciously rubbing her cheeks in comforting motions as her eyes fell onto the plentiful flowerbeds and then at the golden crest of a fallen church, high upon the building behind Lea. Her chest heaved up and down as Lea heard her sob. Behind her was a large crowd of confused and disoriented people. They looked around, some stopped to touch the familiar tile and to feel the water of the fountain against their hands.

    “Who are you?” Lea asked the woman who had appeared first. He glanced at the others as they slowly made progress forward.

    “Praise the Lord. Is this Radiant Garden? The real one?” She asked, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m human again,” she said as tears ran down her sooty cheeks. “We made it back. From that horrid, horrid darkness.” She nodded slowly and kept mumbling to herself. She smiled, chuckled, then sobbed as she slowly walked forward.

    “Lady, wait, are you hurt?” Lea asked and stood in front of her to keep her from walking away.

    “I’m going home. My children are waiting.”

    “I understand, but you have to stay put, alright? Just wait for a couple of minutes.”

    “I’ve waited long enough!” The woman said through gritted teeth.

    “Lea!” Roxas came running from the other connected island where he had been stationed. He glanced at the crowd making it past the golden gates and then at the upset woman. He pulled Lea aside. “We have to get back to the others and tell them to pull the guards. These are returnees. The ones lost in darkness. They’re back. Dusks, other Nobodies, they’re here.”

    Lea gulped as he looked back at the growing crowd. His Keyblade disappeared in his grip. Isa could be among these people. After the epic battle at the Keyblade Graveyard, Isa had disappeared. Braig was nowhere to be seen. Dilan was the only one who had appeared outside the city. He had soon been apprehended and treated for his wounds. The disappearance of the others had been the first signs to raise Yen Sid’s suspicions. The fact that two of Xehanort’s most prominent vessels were gone had to mean something, according to him. But Lea hoped that Yen Sid was wrong.

    Lea and Roxas had delivered the final strike that had ended Isa. The battle had been excruciating, and Isa’s power inexhaustive. At a moment when it seemed that Lea would lose, Roxas had come to his rescue, and with Roxas help, Isa was defeated. That had been three months ago.

    The three Keyblade-wielders hurried back into the city to find Leon, Cloud, and Tifa. The Restoration Committee acted quickly by regrouping the squads on the ground and had them help the crowd into a queue that led to the castle. Cid set up a provisional office. The plan was to make a name list to help Returnees find their families if they had one and to help others with a place to stay and other basic necessities. Concerned citizens started to pour out on the streets. A few found relatives among the disoriented people, other were out to tell people that the relatives they had left behind had died or were still lost. The Returnees were in a fragile state. Separating them from curious villagers became the Royal Guards’ first task. Curiosity quickly turned into animosity. The villagers, much like the Returnees, were entitled to answers. Desperate family members tried to find their missing loved ones among the ever growing crowd of people being led like sheep toward the castle.

    Trust was in short supply. The castle had become synonymous with Xehanort and the hideous experiments that had been conducted there by King Ansem’s apprentices.

    “Stand back!” A bulky guard roared as he, along with his coworkers, formed a human wall between the Returnees and the villagers.

    Lea walked among the Returnees, handing out water with a ladle and a bucket to those who needed it. He scanned through the crowd over and over. The Keyblade-wielders had strict orders to keep a lookout for missing members of Organization XIII. There were rumors of informed vigilantes searching the city for anyone that fit the description they had of people they thought were part of the Original Six.

    A man stumbled ahead, picking himself up with the help of an apathetic shove from a person close by. His hair was a light blue, short and tousled. Lea hurried past the people between them, deaf to anyone who spoke to him. He didn’t stop until he had his hand on the man’s shoulder. The second it took for the man to look back seemed to stretch on forever. The face that looked back at Lea was not the one he was expecting. His heart sank.

    “Water?” Lea asked.

    The man shrugged him off and continued walking. The search continued. Lea found another three people with blueish hair, none that matched Isa’s, but he had to make sure. Men and women alike shouted the names of their loved ones from the sidelines. Whether they ever managed to find anyone, Lea didn’t know. He was supposed to be on the job, but his heart was racing as fast as his thoughts. He too wanted to shout for Isa at the top of his lungs, but the more he searched, the more people turned up, and the chances of finding Isa seemed to slim down with each person he mistook.

    “Excuse me, sir,” said a man with a hoarse voice.

    Lea turned to face a scrawny, middle-aged man in rags. He passed him the ladle and the man had a sip, but judging by the anxious look in his eyes, water wasn’t what he had approached Lea for.

    “I’m Edward Lichtenstein, a former Royal Advisor. I live nearby the plaza. My wife and son must be waiting for me. I don’t recognize this part of town, could you show me how to get to the the plaza?” Edward, much like the woman Lea had spoken to first, was trembling. His hands seemed to be living a life of their own the way he gripped at his own arms.

    Lea gulped, certain that his face was drained from color at hearing the man’s name. Edward Lichtenstein, father of a former friend, had been in the cell across from Lea’s in the underground laboratory. Apprentice Xehanort seemed to have had a special kind of hatred for Edward. Every morning for almost two weeks, Xehanort would come to fetch Edward first. He would always ask for his name and title, and snort when he got an answer. Eventually, that was all Edward could say until they finally separated his heart from his body; a procedure that had taken much longer than what would have been necessary.

    Lea shook his head and cleared his throat.

   “You have to stay in line, sir. It’s, it’s for your own safety. You’ll get to the castle where you’ll state your name, and then they will help you find your wife, your son, and your house. But first, you have to get there, to the office.”

    “Oh, no,” Edward said and shook his head, swallowing hard. He pinched at his arms nervously. “No. I, I have to get back home. To my wife and son, see. They’re waiting. And I have to go there. Because, they’re waiting.” Edward chewed on his bottom lip. “I can’t go back to the castle. I’m a free man now.”

    “Edward, listen,” Lea began. “I’ll walk with you to the castle.”

    Edward shook his head more decisively.

    “Yes, Edward. You have to get to the castle, and look, I have friends there, powerful friends, they won’t let you be harmed by anyone. They’re here to help you and everyone else. I’ll walk with you there, and I promise nothing bad will happen to you. Not on my watch, okay?”

    Edward reluctantly agreed as Lea led him forward.

    Everyone here had been a victim of Master Xehanort’s plans, either as experiments or collateral damage. Lea was walking amongt them. He saw the line from the castle and how it seemed to go on forever as more people walked through the gates. He had been a part of the atrocities, both as victim and as perpetrator, and he still couldn’t grasp the extent of the damage and hurt that had been caused. No one could.

-x-

The Keyblade-wielders' estate was located in central Radiant Garden in an upscale area that had been known as the Ambassadors' Avenue before the First Fall. The building was newly built and not as fancy as the other estates on the street. Lea was well acquainted with the area. The streets weren't what they had been. The buildings, though beautiful, had seen better days.  The whole city was still recovering from war. Saïx had led a second strike on the city before he could be stopped.

    The area was still inhabited by Radiant Garden's elite, or what was left of it. Lea's family were not among them, and he didn't expect they would ever be again. The amount of missing people was monumental. According to Yen Sid, many would remain missing.

   Lea and Roxas had been stationed in Radiant Garden until further notice. Radiant Garden needed stability. They were there to help the Restoration Committee achieve that, but the process was long and repetitive. The search for Isa had come to a stand-still. There were other priorities to take to account, and Lea’s penitence for how it had ended for them was not a reason good enough to abandon his duties.

    Most of the Keyblade-wielders had been in the Land of Departure until recently. They had all tried to help Aqua and Ventus nurture Terra back to health. No one had known the terror of Xehanort like Terra. The help proved to be efficient for a while. Aqua had been certain that Terra would come back to them, wiser from his experiences, scarred, but functional at least. The damage done proved to have been much too extensive.

   Aqua had found him out on the rebuilt runway outside the castle where Master Eraqus had fallen. It had been Terra’s first time alone since coming back. He had hung himself from an old, broken pillar on a Wednesday afternoon, unable to move forward with the constant nightmares, anxiety attacks, and the tremendous guilt weighing on him every second of every day. He remembered everything Xehanort and Xemnas had done. He recalled it as his own memories and lived in constant fear that he would slip and harm yet another person.

   Lea had not known him long. He had been wary in Terra's presence, unable to simply ignore the striking similarities he had to Xemnas. The incident had struck a deep chord with Lea. He found himself understanding Terra's decision on one hand. Recovery took much time and strength. Had it not been for Roxas and the others, Lea would have gone down the same road to not have to endure the paralyzing and frequent anxiety attacks. On the other hand, Lea had found Terra’s decision and action despicable. Terra’s friends had bent over backward to help him, but it hadn’t been enough. He repaid them with more pain and despair, selfishly leaving them behind after everything they had gone through to free him.

   Anger had been greater than understanding. Lea had spent a great deal of his mourning infuriated while he watched the others cry. He didn’t deny the hypocrisy of it.

   The day before departure, Lea had hidden up on the roof to watch the stars. Roxas had followed him and sat down next to him quietly. The silence and Roxas' proximity broke through the wall of anger. Lea had hid his face against his knees when the tears started to run down his face. It had been futile to put words to his sentiments. They had held hope for the first time since Xehanort’s demise; Terra had been the beacon of it. The hope lay shattered now, mixed with rotten memories. Roxas had put his arms around Lea to comfort him, his embrace warm and earnest. He had grown. Lea seemed to notice every time they were close. It was normal to notice, he told himself all the while trying to ignore the hard heartbeats in his chest, reminding him of a yearning that was nothing short of wicked.

   Desire had been easy to ignore once he had found friends in Roxas and Xion. Axel had been lonely, starved for company that wasn’t Saïx. Their time up on the clocktower in Twilight Town had been more than enough, but in the aftermath of Xehanort’s defeat, things were different. Lea was reminded of urges he thought long repressed and even vanquished. His greatest concern was who he had turned into an object of desire. Roxas’ kindness was addictive and Lea wanted to make more of it. Whether the culprit was loneliness or if he really was one to pervert friendships, Lea could not say. There had to be a way to kill the insisting emotions, but for the time being, Lea frequently snuck out at night. Suffocated by heat and Roxas' continuous presence, Lea fled to the dark alleys of Traverse Town to indulge in a filthy habit he hadn't entertained since before Roxas joined the Organization.

   Clad men and women frequented the alleys, selling themselves for money. Lea was quick to find the sort he wanted; they were always men, but they hadn't always been blond.


	2. Knowledge is Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-read by: dramaticalhearts @tumblr

* * *

Returnees had been coming in masses after Xehanort’s demise. The Restoration Committee worked day and night to accommodate the Returnees. Volunteers and small organizations did their best to help with basic needs  like food and clothing. The first month had nonetheless been nothing short of chaotic. Residents flocked around the masses lining up to the castle, desperately looking for long lost family members and friends. There was fear coupled with hope in their eyes. Far from all made it back.

     Lea had been on guard duty at the time. He remembered it well. If the lesser Nobodies were coming back, then surely, Isa would be amongst them, too. But after much diligent searching, Isa was still missing, and Lea found himself asking why he would even want to see Isa again. A few weeks in, Lea’s hope started to wane, not only in regards to finding Isa, but in his capability to keep insistent and disturbing emotions in check.

     Lea’s wariness was interpreted as depression by those around him, although he tried his best to convince everyone that he was okay. Isa had been too far gone, Yen Sid said. Death had been his only salvation. It was Yen Sid's take on comforting words and Lea was starting to believe him.

     A month later there were still Returnees walking into the city; exhausted and weary, trembling with joy and fear when they walked past the gates into the grand city many of them had seen at the brink of destruction before they were brutally torn to pieces. Lea led them into the castle when he found them walking around in the city. It was his job until he was summoned by Yen Sid for a job that needed to be done in another world. A change of scenery could do him some good, Yen Sid had said. Lea was stationed in Twilight Town despite half-hearted protests. Roxas managed to convince him to take the chance of getting out of Radiant Garden, promising that they would meet for lunch everyday and maybe even squeeze in some time for ice cream on top of the clocktower. A whole summer came and went before Lea was asked to return by request of the Restoration Committee. There were rumors of Heartless-sightings and they wanted it investigated. Lea and Roxas were the two Keyblade-wielders in charge of overseeing Radiant Garden.

     Lea didn’t return until early spring. Radiant Garden was beautiful in spring. Flowers were sprouting, morning rain colored the tiled ground a darker shade and highlighted the restored mosaic art. There weren’t long lines of Returnees outside the castle anymore. Most had moved out to the building sites outside the city center. For a moment, Lea saw the Radiant Garden he remembered.

      "I still don't know where I want to live," Roxas said as they walked up to the stairs and toward the Restoration Committee's main office to report for duty. "Is it even a good idea to have a permanent residence? I haven't been in one place longer than three months anyway."

     "How about Twilight Town?" Lea offered. “It’s nice, mostly calm. You know your way around the place.”

     “Yeah, right to the ice cream stand.” Roxas laughed. “Speaking of ice cream stands, you haven’t showed me around yet. Aerith told me that the city is almost exactly the same as it was from before the First Fall. There are a few more hills here and there, and the shop owners aren’t all the same. You could show me your old house!”

     “Absolutely, I could,” Lea agreed with a wry laugh. “Time permitting. You know, with work and all, we’ll be kept busy. And Heartless-sightings sounds pretty serious.”

      “Don’t be a worry wart,” Roxas said with a light-hearted shrug.

     Lea wasn’t the only one who had changed. While Roxas still had his moments of grumpiness and questioned the meaning of it all, it wasn’t who he was anymore. He was finding his way and place in life, and he looked forward to the future he thought he would never have. Lea felt his problems pale in comparison to the ones Roxas had been forced to overcome. Roxas’s change to the better was inspiring, and his newfound hope and joy of just waking up in the morning and knowing that he was in charge of his own destiny, was contagious.

     “Have you heard of the waffle place that recently opened up two blocks from the clocktower?”

     “Are you serious?” Roxas gave Lea a look. “We’re not going to Twilight Town for waffles. We just had breakfast.”

     “I wasn’t saying that we should go _now_. I was just saying that there’s a new waffle place, and haven’t you heard of second breakfast? It’s in a book somewhere.”

     “You don’t read.”

    “I was told that it was in a book somewhere,” Lea corrected himself. He paused at the sudden twinge in his chest. He rubbed his neck subconsciously, annoyed by his reaction at the reminder of a certain someone summarizing a book for him he couldn’t be bothered to read for Book Club.

    “You finally made it!” Cid greeted them from across the grand office. Cid had been working there for almost half a year and he still looked out of place in the castle in his oil-stained jumpsuit and not so white T-shirt.

     “Sorry we’re late. Lea was in the mood for food.” Roxas apologized and reached his hand out reluctantly, unsure whether that was what Cid was going for once he had wiped off his hands onto the towel hanging from his belt.

    “Well, you should’a saved yourselves for Aerith’s brunch. She’s been cooking since the crack of dawn. We’ve missed you Keyblade-wielders.” Cid squeezed Roxas’s hand in a manly handshake and then went for Lea’s.

     “Why? You’ve had much trouble?” Lea asked, frowning slightly with concern.

     “Does there have to be trouble for friends to miss friends?” Cid asked with a laugh and waved at them to have them follow him down a big hallway at the back of the office. “There is a reason I wanted you to be summoned, though. I’ve been building a new security system that we want to launch in approximately two months. We have a testing area around the centre of Radiant Garden, and I was wondering if you’d be up to test it for any bugs that need fixing.”

     “You’ve had any attacks lately?” Roxas asked. He looked around, amazed by all the colors of the marble walls and the paintings on them.

    “There are some stray Heartless floating about,” Cid admitted. “Nothing too noteworthy, but it’s got folks worried, y’know. A lot of families have recently been reunited and having those little bastards around, reminding them of what could happen - I’d prefer them gone. Or at least out of sight.”

     Cid opened a small door in a larger one that led to a spiral staircase.

    “We think there might be a leak somewhere. Some kind of gateway to the World’s Heart where the Heartless are escaping from. We’ve been trying to find the leak for months, but without luck. So in the meantime, we’re setting up the security system.”

    “We should be able to start testing the system as soon as you give the orders,” Lea said. “Yen Sid said that we're stationed here indefinitely, so as long as you need us...”

    “Great! I’ll just brief you on the workings of it once we get to the basement, and you’ll get some practice; to see what sets the system off and, you know, all the things I want tested. Questions?”

     “What’s on your neck?” Roxas was quick to ask.

    Cid stopped in his tracks and repeated the question in a mumble while he put a hand on his neck, and when he did, he remembered and quickly gave the palm of his hand a wide-eyed look. The message Aerith had written down for him was a smudge on his hand and mirrored on his neck.

    “Shit! I forgot!” Cid turned around and rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger. “I completely forgot. _That’s_ why I was waiting. Let’s go back up.”

    “But, isn’t the basement closer?” Lea asked as Cid walked them by with a tired sigh. “Cid? The basement. I’m gonna get a stitch. I just ate.”

     “C’mon now!” Cid called from wherever he was now.

     "Damn it," Lea mumbled as he walked up the stairs with a grumpy look on his face.

    Once back on the main floor, Cid led them four hallways down to the bureaucrats' part of the castle. Their working space had been an enormous ballroom once. There were still traces of cherubs on white puffy clouds on the ceiling and other religious symbolism. Most of the paintings had disappeared and with so many people returning, the complete restoration of the castle had lost priority. The ballroom still held some of its former glory, however, and that surely helped the bureaucrats from dying of boredom.

    Piles of paper came and piles of paper went. With every cubicle they passed, Lea found the grand ballroom grow smaller and smaller until they could have just as well been walking inside a closet.

    "Looks a lot better than the last time you were here, huh?" Cid said to Lea with a proud smile. "We weren't sure we'd get this set up as quickly as we did. We hadn't counted on the help from so many of the Returnees."

    "Why were they eager to help with this?" Roxas asked confused. He had been in Radiant Garden for the victory celebration, but he had soon left for The Land of Departure for more training. The unfinished houses in the slums had been a shock to come back to. "Shouldn't you be building houses?"

    "This is the Information and Research Center. As soon as we were able to, we sent some people over to The World That Never Was to retrieve as much information as possible. The information is analyzed, digitized and filed for future reference and research. As you may know, our list of missing persons is growing everyday, and a lot of the people looking know that the chances of getting them back safe and sound are slim, but just knowing what happened to them and finding some trace of them might help a lot of people with closure. We’re also putting together a commission report of this whole ordeal. Hopefully, it’ll prevent something like this from happening again.”

     “Uh, Cid, that’s great and all, but why are we here? Neither me nor Roxas are cut out for office work.”

     Cid sighed and crossed his arms, giving to floor a quick look. “Listen. I’ll be honest with the both of ya.” Cid paused and closed his eyes for a moment to not have to look at the intrigued expressions on Lea’s and Roxas’ faces.

     “You’re worrying us, Cid.” Lea said impatiently.

     “Alright, I can’t be honest with ya quite yet. Lea, we all know that you’re a bit impulsive and, what’s the other word I’m looking for…”

     “Obnoxious.” Roxas offered quickly.

     “Hey!”

     “That’s the word!” Cid said with a snap of his fingers. “Lea, we all know that you’re a bit impulsive and somewhat obnoxious. I need you to not be that for at least ten or fifteen minutes onward. Can you handle that?”

     “Now I’m really worried.”

     “This is really important, so I need you to promise on everything you hold dear.”

     “Why isn’t Roxas getting any of this?”

     “I’m not impulsive or obnoxious.” Roxas shrugged easily.

     “Lea, we don’t have all day.”

     “Yeah, yeah, alright! I’ll be calm and the opposite of obnoxious.”

     “Follow me then.” Cid turned on his heel and walked further into the office landscape like he knew every twist and turn by heart.

     There was nothing about the office setting that Lea liked. The color of the half-walls was dull, there were bunches of paper everywhere, hoarded like food during wartimes. The smell of ink made his stomach turn and all the small details around him reminded him of the Castle That Never Was and mission cards and mission reports and Saïx standing there with a vacant look in his eyes, day in and day out, slipping away while Lea could do nothing.

    “And we stop... here.” Cid stopped where the cubicles and offices met. “Before we go any further, you have to understand that we had to assess the situation before we could tell you anything, alright? There’s no conspiracy, just concern for your well-being as well as the well-being of everyone else involved. What you need to keep in mind for now is that everything is as fine as you could consider it to be under these circumstances and the most important thing to do, is to keep calm. Are you calm?"

    “Yeah, sure. I’m calm.”

   Lea’s heart was about to burst right out of his chest. Even without it being said, Lea knew. He wanted to be happy about it, but only managed to feel apprehensive.

   Cid led them down yet another empty hallway and stopped by a large window. Lea found himself staring into a normal office; there were books on shelves, a small desktop computer with a screen showing a screensaver on an endless loop of building pipes in different colors, a desk, piles of paper, and by the desk sat Isa with a concentrated look on his face as he read through one file while making notes in a notebook like he hadn’t just come back from one of the worst things to happen their worlds in millennia.

   Isa looked tired, or maybe it was boredom that had him slumped over the desk. He had propped one elbow onto the table to rest his head against his hand while he took notes. It was a relieving sight to see. It made it easier to accept the apparent scar on Isa’s face when he showed mannerisms Lea wouldn’t associate with Saïx.

   “He can’t see or hear us.”

   “What? Why not?”

   “This is a one-way mirror, but we’ve programmed a simulator into it, so to _him_ it looks like every now and then, someone passes by so that he doesn’t suspect anything.”

   “Is he, like, a prisoner here, or? Why…” Lea’s attention kept going from Cid to Isa, and the cascade of questions in his head made it difficult to focus. “Why the one-way mirror?”

    “He’s not technically imprisoned, just under very close supervision.”

   “I don’t understand. Did he do something when he got here? When did he get here? Why... why hasn’t he been put on trial if he’s a prisoner? This doesn’t make sense to me. Can I talk to him?”

    “Deep breaths, Lea. Remember that you promised to keep calm.”

   Lea took a deep breath and then another, but it didn’t help much, not when he turned his attention back to Isa and started to notice how small the office was, and wonder what files he was reading and what kind of “very close supervision” Cid was talking about.

    “He was Xemnas’ second in command, Lea. You think we’d let him walk without making sure whether he was Xehanort-free or not? Not to mention that there’s a bigger picture here. We have half a city that was put through hell by Xehanort, personally. A lot of those people have memories of it, a lot of them fuzzy, but still memories. Many remember Saïx for what he was, Lea. And that scar on his face and the tint of yellow in his eyes won’t do him any favors out there. We need to keep a close eye on him, for his own sake and for the sake of others, because, honestly, we still don’t know whether he’s a hundred percent himself or not.”

   Lea clenched his fists, reminding himself to take deep breaths to remain calm, but the questions kept on piling up like the damned papers in this whole office landscape and Lea was having a tough time keeping it together. He wanted to talk to Isa, ask Isa himself about what was going on, see the yellow taint in Isa’s eyes that Cid was talking about, but the thought of seeing that poison reflected in Isa’s eyes again toughened the breathing process.

   “I want to talk to him,” Lea demanded.

   “That can be arranged.”

   “Now.”

   Roxas glanced at Lea from where he stood. He felt that he should probably say something. Lea was agitated and he was doing his best to not simply run into Isa’s office without permission. Roxas knew how Lea was with authorities when he saw himself pressed into a corner. No breathing exercise in the world would keep Lea from breaking rules unless he got straight answers.

   Cid sighed.

   “Alright. Go down the hall and into the coffee room. There’ll be four guards there shortly to guard the exits. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes with him, and if possible, his shrink.”

   “Shrink?” Lea gaped.

   “Just go and we’ll sort out the details later.”

   Lea didn’t hesitate, not at first, but when he got closer to the sign that pointed at the door to the coffee room, he slowed down until he came to a full stop. He wanted to see Isa, but at the same time he didn't. Lea had had a long time to imagine what their reunion would be like. He wanted it to be like Ven's and Aqua's reunion or even like his and Roxas's. The likelihood of that happening was, however, not likely at all. It had been too long since they were on good terms.

   “I’m gonna stay here, or I’ll just head back to the office,” Roxas said.

   Lea looked back at Roxas, puzzled enough to have Roxas scratch the back of his neck sheepishly, the same way he had seen Lea do so many times before.

   “I don’t think I’m his favorite person right now,” Roxas said with a slight shrug. “I can stay right outside if you want. I don’t mind. But, I’m not going in.”

   "Yeah. Sure. That's probably best. I... this won't take long... I mean, maybe it will, but it probably won't." Lea looked back at Roxas with a plea clear in his eyes. “Could you wait for me?”

   "Yeah, sure. Take your time. I won't go anywhere."

   Lea nodded quickly and pursed his lips together, going for a smile, but failed.

   The guards Cid had mentioned were already in position when Lea walked into the coffee room and sat down by one of the four long and white tables. Lea was starting to suspect that one of Ansem's former apprentices were behind the interior design of this office. Ienzo, probably.

   It was the moment of truth. Cid walked in from a door at the back and held the door up for Isa. Cid must have forewarned Isa; he didn't seem surprised to see Lea, but he was nervous. A shiver ran down Lea's spine when he suppressed a smile. He could tell Isa was nervous by the way he waited for Cid to catch up with him before they approached the table Lea was sitting at, the way Isa didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, and his wavering glances at Lea that didn't last more than half a second. Lea wished he could do something about the last one. Yellow eyes or not, Lea wanted Isa to look at him and let Isa see that he had made a life for himself. Lea was far away from Xehanort’s influence and perhaps Isa could be too one day. A small part of him wondered if there was a chance for them to rekindle anything akin to friendship, enough to at least be able to talk about what had happened and finally gain some sort of closure to the macabre adventure their lives had been.

   "Alright, we all know each other here so introductions aren't really necessary. I told Isa here that you wanted to meet, so here we are," Cid said.

   Lea fidgeted in his seat. He couldn't decide whether it was a good idea to lean forward or not. He entwined his fingers together, trying to keep himself from squeezing his fingers to the point of them shifting an unattractive mix of red and white. He leaned forward slightly and cleared his throat, painfully aware of the heavy silence he broke.

   "Hi," Lea said finally. Cid had essentially ruined the chance of starting with a good ice-breaker, and a simple greeting was all Lea could think of saying.

   "Hello."

   "How," Lea paused to clear his throat again. Why hadn't anyone thought of serving some water? "How are you?"

   Isa finally looked up at Lea. The yellow tint in Isa's eyes was definitely noticeable. Lea gulped at the sight. The yellow was all around the edge of the iris and bled into the dark cerulean around the pupil. Isa noticed Lea staring and he quickly looked away, but not before Lea caught the incredulousness with which Isa had looked at him at hearing the question.

   "Fine," Isa answered, finally.

   "Good." Lea smiled nervously. "That's good."

   "You boys will have to excuse my interruption, but we're running on a schedule. I thought you had something important to say, Lea."

   "This _is_ important."

   "Well," Cid sighed and gave Lea a smile that was upside-down. "I'm afraid we'll have to save this for visiting hours then. I'm very sorry that I misunderstood your intentions, Lea. Truly. Visiting hours start at five and end at eight. Let’s go.” As soon as Cid got up, Isa followed suit.

   “W-what, wait, but!” Lea got up as well, eyes wide. “What did you think I was gonna say? And _visiting hours_?”

   “You, go back inside,” Cid told Isa.

   Lea stared after Isa who walked back to his office without a question, not even turning around to give Lea one last look.

   “Cid, what’s going on here?”

   “Lea…” Cid sighed.

   “And don’t tell me to calm down. You’re keeping him a prisoner here, aren’t you?”

   “Under close supervision,” Cid corrected Lea.

   “He’s got visiting hours, Cid.”

   “We suspect that he’s sitting on very important information, alright? His return is currently privileged information. You and Roxas are the only ones outside of the Committee that know that Saïx is back. Us and three of your former comrades. You may not disclose this to anyone else.”

   “What important information is he sitting on?”

   “Information, that’s all I can tell you.”

   “You better tell me more.”

   “Excuse me?” Cid crossed his arms.

   “Tell me more about what you expect to get out of Isa. That’s what you thought I was gonna do, right? Ask him about whatever you’re looking for?”

   Cid sighed again. "Different kinds of information, Lea, and I wish I could tell ya, but this is about national security…”

   Lea scoffed and rolled his eyes. This place just about triggered every maddening pet-peeve Lea had. He had wasted ten years of his life, nibbling at crumbs of information hoping it would be enough to lead him back to the light. He didn’t have ten more years to waste.

   “I’ll give you reasons to worry about national security if you don’t tell me what information you’re trying to get out of him,” Lea said sternly.

   “Is that a threat, boy?” Cid narrowed his eyes and walked closer. He clenched his arms tighter. “‘Cause I bet Yen Sid would kick your ass all the way from Mystery Tower to Twilight Town and back if he knew about this. You better stay in line. As I said, there’s a bigger picture, and you acting like this makes everything all the more suspicious.”

   “Why suspicious?”

   “Weren’t you two enemies? What are you getting all worked up for?”

   “Axel and Saïx were. Isa used to be my best friend.” The past tense stung in Lea’s mouth.

   “Y’all ex-Norts talk like that, as if there’s a big difference between who you were then and who you are now. As far as the evidence goes, Xehanort only managed to get under the skin of three members of that little organization of his. You weren’t one of ‘em, so don’t talk like you’ve been or are two persons, alright? If Saïx was your enemy then, I’m sure he’s your enemy now, and I thought that meant you were on our side and that you wanted things from him that we want too. But clearly, I was wrong.” Cid walked over to the back door and paused right when he reached for the doorknob, “Stay in line, Lea."

-x-

A bit of asking around led Lea to some unknown, partly hidden backdoor exit on the subterranean floor where the former Royal Garden had been left under construction. A tramcar stood parked right outside on a private rail that went on for at least five-hundred yards before it merged with the public rail upstairs.

   Lea didn’t like the sound of 'visiting hours'. It sounded like something supervised; voice recordings, signing in and out on time tables, guards. He didn’t want to feel like he should be censoring himself once he finally got to speak with Isa in private or have to speak in riddles in hopes Isa would understand but that the others wouldn’t. Not that there were things Lea wanted to hide. All he wanted was a normal conversation. It couldn’t be much to ask after everything they had gone through.

   At four o’clock the bigger than average backdoors were pulled aside by two men in uniforms. Lea stood flat against the wall and waited for a handful of people to walk out before he quickly joined the group and looked back to see if Isa was nearby.

   There he was, behind two middle-aged and fairly short men. Isa’s clothes stood out more than his messy ponytail. The coat he was wearing was obviously not his. The sleeves were too short. The coat was just big enough to go around him, but there was an obvious stretch over his back that made the coat impossible to button. The washed out dark gray and brown woolly corduroy didn’t strike Lea as something Isa would have chosen on his own either.

    Lea slowed down and waited for Isa to catch up with him. This wasn’t what he had imagined their reunion to be like, him sneaking up on Isa after a day of forced labor with guards around. He knew he shouldn’t be picky. This was just the way things were. It could’ve been worse. Isa could’ve still been lost in the ether of the universe with no intention of finding his way back, but here he was.

    “Isa?” Lea intended to reach for Isa’s sleeve, but a slight miscalculation had Lea brush his fingers against the small patch of visible skin between the hem of the sleeve and the hem of the knitted glove that didn’t match the glove on Isa’s other hand at all.

    Isa pulled away immediately. He searched for pockets that weren’t there and had to settle with hiding both his hands under his arms as he folded them over his chest.

    “ _What_ are you _doing_ here?” Isa asked in a hiss. Isa didn’t look at him. He looked straight ahead, occasionally looking down when the wind blew in his eyes. He made sure to not bump into Lea by keeping his distance and sped up to get into the tramcar, the one place that was off limits for Lea.

    “What do you mean? I want to talk to you.”

    “About?”

    “I don’t know! Everything. But in a socially chronological way, like start with a hello, talk about the weather for a bit, maybe you wanna tell me about your lunch, like did you find anything interesting or maybe appalling in the cafeteria, and then we can maybe start tackling the little heavier subjects, like people do!”

    Isa stopped in his tracks just to turn around and give Lea a ice-cold glare.

    “What do you want? This is the last time I’m asking.”

    In that moment, the yellow was much more visible than the cerulean blue. The blue almost disappeared in the way the faint sunshine lit through the cloudy sky, and though Lea wanted to ignore it, to convince himself that the color of Isa’s eyes didn’t matter, he couldn’t, and he froze.

    “Leave me alone then.”

    Isa got into the tramcar, still convinced that Lea wouldn’t follow him all the way in there, but he was in for a surprise. Isa walked to the back of the tramcar where he sat next to a window. There was usually room enough for the passengers to be seated alone, but today Lea flopped down next to him, further testing his patience.

    “We’re not done yet, Isa. We have to talk about what happened, and to be honest, I’m really keen on talking about what’s happening right now, and why the hell you seem so cool about it.”

    “You can’t be here.”

    “Well,” Lea said with a shrug, looking ahead as the driver took his seat at the front. “Looks like I can.”

    Isa gave him the cold shoulder the whole way to the tramcar’s destination. They could see the gloomiest looking parts of Radiant Garden where houses were half-built, covered in large plastic sheets to keep the rain from pouring in. The old railway went around what was known as the “original” Radiant Garden. It parted the ugly and the poor from the rich and pristine. Small kids were running on small, muddy roads between the houses with their tired looking mothers right behind. The previously non-existent slum had grown exponentially since the Returnees started to pour in. With so many people coming in under such short notice, it had been impossible to meet the demands of new housing, and so, the slums came to be.

    By the time the tramcar came to a halt, Lea was expecting to see a prison from old times when they stepped out and were told to form a line by large gates, but saw a newly built building. The Restoration Committee seemingly had time, resources and money to build some sort of penitentiary while thousands had to live in misery while waiting for their houses to get done.

    Lea glanced over at Isa standing next to him to keep himself from thinking of anything else, but it didn’t help. They had been through so much already, everyone who had survived Xehanort’s malicious plans had been through enough, and yet it seemed like there was so much more to endure.

    “Isa,” Lea began, but was quickly interrupted.

    “Look, if you’re not gonna say it, I’ll do it for you. When I find Dr. Even’s diary, I’ll give you the pages about Xion, alright? What you do with them after you’ve used them, is entirely up to you. I couldn’t care less. But know this, Dr. Even would preferably put that information under lock and key at the bottom of the ocean because it’s dangerous. Just keep that in mind when you self-righteously decide to hand over the documents to the Restoration Committee.”

    The line started to move forward, and Lea followed, knowing that he should go before he was discovered, but was unable to because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

    “Wha—”

    “Until then, leave me the hell alone. Understood?”

    “ID-cards, please! Have them ready!” A guard called from the front and waved a plastic white card in the air.

    Lea watched Isa walk past the first control and follow the line up to one of three small booths were a guard checked his ID-card with a small black and blue beeper. It lit up with a green light when it approved of the information it got from the camera reading off Isa’s corneas and the information on the card.

    Lea’s heart was pounding painfully hard in his chest. How did Isa know about Xion? Yen Sid had made sure to keep her a secret. Only the Keyblade-wielders, Cid and Dr. Even knew about it. Dr. Even had been the first person they had turned to for answers only to be told that Dr. Even didn’t remember anything from his Replica-project and that his notes had probably been lost forever, and yet Isa had known. He knew about a diary that needed to be found, he knew how Dr. Even felt about the information stored in there, and somehow he had been informed about Xion. He had ears and eyes everywhere. Combined with his cold demeanor, he was only a shade of amber away from being the monster Axel had run away from.

    Lea didn’t want to, but a part of him slowly started to understand why the Restoration Committee wanted Isa behind bars.

 

 


	3. Irony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-read by: dramaticalhearts @tumblr

* * *

Lea had hurried back to the castle to find Roxas and tell him everything. Neither Lea nor Roxas wanted to wait until morning to report this to Yen Sid. They had gone back that same night in hopes that Yen Sid hadn’t gone off onto one of his sporadic journeys that made him nearly impossible to find. The old Keyblade Master had been in his study, mildly surprised to see Lea and Roxas back so soon from what he had thought would be a prolonged mission in Radiant Garden. They didn’t waste any time. They told Yen Sid everything that they had heard and seen; everything from Cid wanting the information Isa had to Isa promising Lea Dr. Even’s diary. They had barely finished reporting when Yen Sid led them outside to the gummi ship and set them in course for the Land of Departure.

   Yen Sid wore a deep frown on his face. He drummed his fingertips against each other impatiently and sat in silence for nearly half the journey before he commented on what Lea and Roxas had told him.

   “This does not bode well,” he said, staring straight ahead with those big and intimidating eyes of his.

   “Yeah, that’s what we figured.” Lea looked at Yen Sid as if that would drag the rest of the words out of Yen Sid’s mouth.

   “This is how corruption starts, isn’t it? Secrets are kept with good intentions in mind. Good intentions warp good men’s minds.” Yen Sid sounded disappointed, but did his best not to let it show on his face. There were other things that needed tending to that weren’t his personal feelings.

   “What are you thinking?” Lea asked.

   “My greatest fear at this time is that there is someone, or many, with the ability to open portals of darkness in Radiant Garden. That would explain the sightings of Heartless. I find it hard to believe that a crack leading to the Heart of the World is that hard to find. These individuals might have found a way around the barrier that I set up at the Land of Departure.”

   “Are they trying to get to Xion? Is she in danger?” Roxas frowned with worry.

   “I do not know, child. They might be after her. If these individuals indeed have access to Even’s diary, they could easily put his theories to the test and make a complete person out of a fragment of a memory. Do you realize what power that entails? What danger that would pose? There are people in every world, eager to bring their loved ones back, not thinking of what dangers they are inviting by creating a passageway between the realms. That kind of power could bring Xehanort back if it is this individual’s wish.”

   Lea chuckled tiredly and ran his fingers through his hair, fixing his gaze onto a bolt on the floor, hesitating.

   “When you say ‘individual’ you mean Isa, don’t you?”

   “I’m afraid I do. He is the only one that isn’t in the clear yet. He might not be aware of what he is doing. Xehanort could have survived in him and might still be able to assert some kind of control, but… the chances of that are next to non-existent. Ten years of possession is a long time, and we all know what it can do to a person.”

   The ship landed gently. They were at the Land of Departure. Lea could still not believe that this had been Castle Oblivion once. The world was lush, full of color and life, everything that Castle Oblivion hadn’t been. Yen Sid got up from his seat and walked past Lea, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder for a brief moment.

   “We must save those within our reach, Lea. We might have to accept that Isa isn’t one of them, and for that I am sorry.”

   Lea nodded solemnly. He followed Yen Sid and Roxas out of the gummi ship, keeping his focus straight ahead to not have to see the apologetic look on Roxas’s face.

   Once at the large and massive oak-tree doors, Yen Sid stepped forward, his staff in hand. He knocked at the door with it three times, breaking a seal that was only made apparent once it was broken. The doors opened with a loud creak and closed once the three of them had stepped inside.

   The castle had once served as Ventus’s hiding place. For ten years it had protected the young boy against the evil that wanted to find him, and now it continued the tradition by keeping Xion safe while her friends found a way to restore her; to make her her own person. They walked far into the castle, past grand and empty rooms until they finally reached that one room that illuminated with Xion’s fragile existence.

    She had been but a spark of electricity after their battle with Xehanort and his vessels. Her light had quickly faded until she nearly disappeared into nothing once more.

    What once had been a spark of electricity was now turning into something that looked like a force of nature. She lay in a container, filled with light purple liquid that was thicker than water. Her silhouette was vaguely distinguishable, and at her center, where her heart would one day be, there were large sparks, crackling with the will to live.

    Lea felt humble in her presence. Seeing her was a reminder of what they still were fighting for, and he knew that he would need the reminder over and over again when he once again found himself facing Isa.

   They spent hours searching for security breaches, weaknesses, and by the time they finished they had found numerous paths of darkness leading straight up to the container in which Xion lay dormant.

-x-

Isa had been working at the office for two months. He had quickly learned to handle his tasks, which wasn’t much of an achievement considering what his tasks were. He spent most of his working hours in his office, reading through files, reports and loose documents that came in from The World That Never Was. He filed them after date, grade of importance and author. The only difficult thing for him to grasp about his tasks was the irony of getting out of a ten-year long hell hole, where his tasks were writing, reading and filing reports, and end up doing the same once he was freed.

    Before he had been allowed near the documents, he was made to sign a contract where he swore, on pride and honor, that he wouldn’t disclose any information gained by access to the documents to any third party unless he wanted to be penalized by the full extent of the law.

    He had laughed reading the document, which, in retrospect, hadn’t helped him with his reputation of a madman, but to be fair, what could the full extent of the law take away from him that wasn’t taken already? The threat was ridiculous. Death penalty had been made illegal right before Hollow Bastion became Radiant Garden once more. The Restoration Committee had decided that it was a barbaric punishment. They hadn’t considered that they might need it later. Banishing people to other dimensions had gone out of style once it turned out that King Ansem hadn’t been quite right in the head, and other dimensions was something Isa was familiar with already. It wouldn’t have the desired effect.

    Isa turned on his pencil slowly to rub the eraser against the number two he had written and done too curvy. The square on the squared paper looked too full for his liking.

    Irony was all there seemed to be left nowadays. Reading Demyx’s reports, for example, had always made something snap in Saïx when he had to read through them. It was as if his brain couldn’t compute how someone could be so detached from a goal that would benefit them all and give them their lives back. Demyx’s lack of effort at the time and the carelessness with which he showed his indifference, had been nothing short of infuriating, but now, Demyx’s reports were the ones Isa looked forward to reading the most. They were funny in a sense. Satirical, even. They had been nonsensical to Saïx, and they’d be nonsensical to the Restoration Committee, or whoever had to sift through them later, but they would raise questions. The style and attitude of Demyx’s reports differed from the others so much that they would undoubtedly puzzle researchers for years to come when the simplest answer would be that Demyx really hated reckoning. He hated the slow build-up of the grand plan and how time consuming it was to get there. The paperwork was just the straw that broke the camel’s back, and it showed.

    Isa took a bunch of the papers he had just read through, stapled them together and put them in a file he had already marked with date and color to show their grade of importance; green. The color for: this could go in the shredder and no one, nowhere, ever, would care in the slightest.

    “Oh no.”

    Isa skimmed through the first page of the next pile and held back a scream of frustration. A bunch of Xaldin’s reports had made it through, and as irony would have it, it wasn’t the file that Saïx had compiled of deciphered versions, no, the reports he had here, were the unreadable reports written with Xaldin’s hellish handwriting. They were all going into a green folder. Isa knew that much about them. These were from before anything important happened.

    Isa reached for the stapler reluctantly. What could the law take away from him that wasn’t taken already, he asked himself again.

   The red, oblong phone on Isa’s desk rang with a shrilling sound, stopping Isa from stapling Xaldin’s reports together.

    “Hello?” Isa answered.

    “Hello, Isa. Could you come down really quick? We were going to do some bloodwork on you yesterday, but it seems you forgot.” Ienzo’s voice came through the receiver.

    Isa played with the phone cord absentmindedly. It was mind boggling hearing Ienzo speak to him in such a gentle tone, as if he was talking to a scared animal that needed reassurance before they pulled the big syringe out. It was even weirder that it worked.

    “Yeah, sure. I’ll go on a lunch break soon, so I’ll be down in a minute.”

    “Alright, see you then.”

    Isa hung up. His hand lingered on the phone. It was strange, the color of the phone. It didn’t fit with the rest of the office, and Isa hadn’t noticed that until now. He clenched his hand around the cord, wondering what would happen if he pulled it clean out of its socket in and threw it against the make-believe window. The window would probably break, but what would the consequences be for destroying public property?

    It wasn’t something he wanted to find out during his lunch, Isa decided and got out of his seat. He dug into the one pocket of his cargo pants that didn’t have a giant hole to get his white ID-card and put it against the side of the door. Destroying public property seemed like something more fitting for a Friday afternoon when everyone was tired and didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary to happen at work. Preferably after three when accounting was getting ready to file the week’s expenses into the system.

    Isa hurried to the elevator that was six doorways away. They made a beep every time he walked through one. It was a penetrating, obnoxious sound that made him break out in cold sweat; _beep, beep, beep, beep_. They knew where he was at all times. The white ID-card in his one good pocket made sure they did, and as Isa got into the elevator, counting the seconds he spent breathing in to count the seconds breathing out, he wondered how bad it would be to shred the white ID-card and live a life on the run in the sewers. At least there wouldn’t be any beeps there.

    The beeps in the elevator weren’t as bad. It just sounded like the elevator had major malfunctions every time it passed a floor, and that the cords holding it up could snap at any second. It was a calming thought – not the part of crashing to his death part, but the falling part. Isa had mentioned it to Dr. Even once when they bumped into each other in the elevator. The theme for next coming therapy sessions had been about death wishes and how to avoid having them. A whole month's worth. If it hadn’t been amusing, Isa would have told Dr. Even that it was the thought of the little rise and fall sensation in his gut that made the elevator crashing and burning a relaxing thought.

    A voice through the speaker announced that Isa had arrived at the third basement floor, and as the elevator came to a stop, Isa felt something flip in his stomach and settle with a weight heavy enough to send a tug all the way to his throat. The sides of his mouth twitched slightly.

    Isa stepped out into a long dimly lit hallway with ambient sound in the background. There were large brown sacks propped against the walls down the hallway. Isa whiffed in the air at the faint smell of coffee beans and soil. He took a few steps forward, still trying to identify more scents and smells that came down the hallway when a holographic screen popped up right in front of his face.

    “Isa, before you come to my office, have a look around in the hallway to see if there’s anything you like. Take your time.”

   The holographic screen disappeared soundlessly. Isa walked down the middle of the hallway, glancing at the contents of the sacks. He stopped every now and then to have a whiff, and once he came to the coffee beans, he put his hand inside. He didn’t like to drink coffee. He didn’t enjoy the smell of coffee either, but he liked the coffee beans.

    “What’s this?” He mumbled as he looked over to the other sack and reached for its label at the top; _Wheat Grains_. Isa took a handful and compared the sensation of the light wheat grains with the heavier coffee beans; the hairy surface in contrast to the soft. The wheat grains felt like tiny pockets of air in comparison. Isa looked around again to see if there was any soil around. He had to look for a bit, but once he found it, he dug his hands right in and lifted a handful of it in the air to let it fall back in. The smell of it, the sensation of it against his hands reminded him of the sound of reindeer barking, their hooves against the ground. It had been long since he had held soil in his hands.

    Half of his lunch hour must have gone by before Isa made it to Ienzo’s office. On the other side of the window, on the far end of the room, Isa could see into Ienzo’s lab, or what had been left and restored of Ansem’s lab. There wasn’t a sharp object in sight. Everything was round and in happy, vibrant colors, even the walls.

    Aeleus was the second thing Isa noticed. His labcoat camouflaged him to the wall, and he rarely made any noise. He was hard to take notice of despite his large stature.

    “Hello,” he said and gestured to an armchair by Ienzo’s desk. “Have a seat.”

    Aeleus had adapted Ienzo's attitude; calm and almost warm in that stiff way of his.

    Isa had expected something else. He remembered what he had thought of both Zexion and Lexaeus. They had both been nuisances that couldn't have been eliminated soon enough. Saïx had held a special sort of hatred for Zexion, but Isa couldn't remember why or if there even was a reason. In the end, it didn’t matter. Hatred started for one thing and merged with a million other things, snowballing until it was impossible to get to the core of it.

     “Hello, Isa. Have a seat.” Ienzo walked in just as Isa stopped by the armchair to look at the door. “I’m glad you could make it. How did you feel about the testing you did before you got here?” Ienzo sat down on his office chair and pushed himself closer to Isa while putting latex gloves on.

     “It was unnecessary.” Isa was quick to reply. He caught Aeleus’s sideways-glance and the small falter in Ienzo’s polite smile. What Isa said was part true and part lie. It was a waste of resources to let Isa dig around in food that could be given to those who needed it more, but at the same time it had been thrilling to get familiar with so many different things that Isa hadn’t seen in years.

     “How is it unnecessary, Isa?” Ienzo asked calmly. He reached for an elastic band and three small tubes that he put on a small yellow scale on the cart beside him.

     “Other people could’ve made use of it.”

     “It’s still usable. We’re not going to throw it away. Could you pull up your sleeve for me, please?”

     Isa pulled up the sleeve of his dark pink jumper. It would have been easier to just take it off, but Isa wanted to avoid that at all costs. Ienzo put the elastic band right above his elbow, tight enough to see a vein. He washed the small area he was interested in with a small gauze and prepared the first syringe.

     “Were there any particular smells you liked? Or sensations, maybe? This is going to sting a little.”

     Isa looked down quickly to see his blood trickle into the small tube. It was only to make sure that he was bleeding red, once he was sure of it, he looked past Ienzo’s shoulder and onto the wall where Ienzo had hung up a framed poster of two kittens yawning.

     “The coffee beans. And the soil. Those were the ones I liked best.”

     “Which soil did you like?” Ienzo reached for the second tube.

     “The dark, wet one It was across from the flour.”

     “Why the coffee beans? What did you like about them? Don’t they smell like the office in the morning?” Ienzo watched Isa’s attention move away from what he guessed were the kittens to the safety notices on the wall depicting hamsters in labcoats.

     “No. The office smells like old coffee filters. The coffee beans smell differently. It’s a rich and aromatic kind of smell. It’s overpowering. And nice.”

     Ienzo put the third tube away on the small yellow scale on the cart. He tossed his latex gloves into a yellow waste bin, and asked Aeleus to take the blood samples to the lab for testing.

     “It’s good for you to get re-acquainted with things, to see and feel new things and stimulate your senses, and to also put words to those sensations. If we get the walk-in-world machine going again, I’ll make sure to schedule you in.”

     “Okay.” Isa gave a small nod. He wanted to oppose the idea. He wanted to not want to come here, but all things considered, it was the best place in the world.

     “How’s everything else? You take your medicine and vitamins regularly?” Ienzo reached for a small notebook and a pen on his desk.

     “Yes, once in the morning and once at night. And the vitamins, too.”

     “Good, good. How about the emergency pills? Taken any of those?”

     Isa sighed and looked to his side in hopes to find other pictures to entertain himself with.

     “So you’ve had anxiety attacks? Do you remember how many?” Ienzo made notes of his questions and waited for Isa to answer. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Isa. We’ve all gone through the same thing. The first six to twelve months are tough. The important thing is to map it so that we can pinpoint triggers and see what we can do to avoid them.”

     “...four. They’re all at night.” Isa cleared his throat and looked down at the floor when Ienzo put his notebook down.

     “That’s a lot. I’m sorry. Have you taken a pill after every single one? You know we call them emergency pills for a reason.”

     “I _know_.” Isa clenched his fingers around his thumb and exhaled harshly. “I know that they are emergency pills. I wouldn’t take them unless it was an emergency. I’m not stupid.”

     “I believe you, Isa,” Ienzo said calmly. “It’s just that I can’t give you any refill until the end of the month. They are hard to come by even with permission from the Restoration Committee, so use them sparingly.”

     “I’m… I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know you only mean well.” Apologizing still didn’t come easy to Isa, but it was part of the process. Apologizing had been one of Even’s big themes for their therapy sessions, and he had made it into a series in three parts. So far, they had gone through the first part that basically consisted of the fundamental lesson: learn and practice to say the words even if you don’t mean them.

     “Apology accepted. One last question before you leave, have you made up your mind about the tea party on Friday?” Ienzo put his notebook down and folded his hands on his lap, clearly trying to not look as excited as he was.

     “Not yet.”

     “Okay. Don’t forget to RSVP by Wednesday.”

     Isa got up on his feet to follow Ienzo to the door.

     “I won’t. Bye, Aeleus.”

     Aeleus gave Isa a quick wave from where he stood.

     Isa had already decided that he was going to go to Ienzo’s tea party. He just liked to keep him waiting. There was something heartwarming about the small jolt Ienzo held back when he got positive responses to his gatherings. Isa hadn’t seen the importance of it at first, but then Dr. Even told him to wait until the last minute to RSVP. The results had been somewhat addictive.

    Four beeps down the hallway to his office, Cid appeared around a corner. The deep crinkle between his eyes was visible as he knitted his eyebrows and rubbed his stubble with one hand. He cleared his throat and stared Isa down with a dangerous look that no polite smile could hide. Cid struggled in his interaction with Isa. His wife had been caught in the midst of battle and suffered great injuries. Isa had only read the reports and none of them stated whether she was dead or not. Either way, Cid always glared at Isa as though he was always imagining what it would be like to rearrange his face.

     “Isa, I was looking for you.”

     “No, you weren’t.”

     “I just got word from Yen Sid. He wants to be the one in charge of keeping you in custody. Care to tell me what you told Lea that had him squealing secrets the second he got outta here?”

     “No.”

     “Isa, I’m ordering you to tell me. You’re putting our national security at risk.” Cid said through his teeth. His angry vein made an appearance on his reddening forehead. Cid did look oddly frightening when he was angry.

     “I don’t answer to you anymore apparently,” Isa said with a nonchalant shrug. “You’ll have to take it with my new superior.”

    “Listen here!” Cid raised his voice but caught himself and took a deep breath. “You still answer to us. Yen Sid will keep you working here, and in addition to the beeps you make, you’ll have one of his Keyblade-wielders on your throat, watching your every move. My bet is that Lea got the spot as your chaperone. Right me if I’m wrong, Isa, you didn’t seem very fond of Lea last time he was here. The guy can’t seem to take a hint. Did you promise him Even’s diary?”

    “No.”

    “I’ll find out sooner or later. You can’t keep secrets forever. Not with our surveillance, and when you slip, I’ll be there. You Norts have done enough damage already, I won’t have you committing the same crimes again, understood?”

    Cid stormed off and Isa continued back to his office. Dr. Even said that worrying about things that had yet to happen were the source of anxiety, and with only a few emergency pills left, Isa could only concentrate on what he had control of right this minute. If the world came crumbling down tomorrow, he’d deal with it then.

 

 


	4. Dearest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention of hanging

 

* * *

 Twenty years earlier

* * *

 

The gallows were a source of entertainment for the citizens of Radiant Garden. On Saturday mornings the Royal Guards made an example of death-sentenced prisoners who had not only broken against the law, but turned their backs on the Almighty God.  
  
     The gallows were also Lea’s first encounter with death. His father, merchant and chairman in His Royal Highness’ Committee of Commerce, thought it important to teach his first-born son the consequences of one’s actions and have him see justice in all of its glory. God’s will on Earth, he called it.  
  
     For this particular day, Lea’s mother had decided to stay at home with his little sister. Lea thought it strange. His parents were almost always together. Lea and his father made it near the front of the crowd gathered around the gallows. They were waiting eagerly to see God’s will in action whilst screaming and calling the prisoners foul names. Lea clutched at the hem of his father’s blazer and looked around to see the faces of the angered people. Perhaps there were murderers to be hanged and these were family of the victims. Four prisoners were brought out, their heads dressed in sacks meant for kitchen waste, clothed in dirty rags and covered in horrid bruises. The sacks were pulled off one by one by the judge who leisurely strolled down the scaffold. A guard that followed forced the prisoners to face the fury of the crowd. Some threw eggs, others rotten tomatoes.  
  
     “Sodomite!”  
  
     “Burn in Hell!”  
  
    Lea looked at the prisoners and frowned. The vicar had held a long sermon about the dangers of sodomites in their righteous city. They would try to disintegrate families, encourage crime of all imaginable kind and earn them all God’s wrath. It was all Lea knew. He was still very much uncertain what exactly a sodomite did, and so, Lea turned to the only man he knew would have answers.  
  
     “Dad, what’s a sodomite?”  
  
     “A deviant of the grossest kind, son. They take men for women. They break the boundaries set by Nature and God. Death is not enough of a punishment for such despicable sin.”  
  
     “Take men for women,” Lea repeated with a chuckle. “That’s silly.”  
  
     They all watched as the executioner pulled the lever. The sudden stretch of the rope broke the necks of the four prisoners as they fell through the hatches in the gallows. Laughter spread through the crowd at the faces of the dead, their tongues hanging out and their eyes rolled back into their heads. Lea laughed, too, encouraged by the pat on his head and the proud smile on his father’s face.  
  
-x-  
  
The newly paved roads were busy on Tuesday mornings. The smell of smoked salmon lay heavy near the exits to the harbor. It mingled with the dust that the horses and carriages lifted from the ground and the scent of various fruits and vegetables for sale at the open stands. As an eight-year old, Isa should be free to explore the marketplace. The colorful vegetables and fruits imported from nearby islands were enticing enough, but the dangers were too many. His grandfather had given him a choice; he could risk running through the marketplace and be beaten and ridiculed or he could sit tight with his dignity intact. The choice had been easy to make. Isa sat on a low bench outside of Glenn’s Meat ‘n Dairy, guarding an important package that his grandfather had asked him to watch while he bargained with Glenn inside the shop.  
  
     Two women in big flower-patterned dresses walked by and eyed Isa before they broke into whispers amongst themselves. They thought themselves hidden behind the frilly, white umbrellas they were both covering underneath. Isa shifted the dirt underneath his shoes and sniveled. He fixed his blue hat with colorful patterns that so many thought hilarious and worthy of mocking comment. He swatted a fly away from the package. It was still cold, still spring, but the contents could lure flies from miles away.  
  
     “Now, you sit here and wait while I go and buy some lunch. Don’t venture by yourself, Lea. Sit.”  
  
     A proper lady pointed sternly at the bench on the other side of the door when the boy named Lea smiled mischievously, clearly indicating to the woman that he would venture by himself given the chance. “Remember, Lea. God watches your every move. You don’t want to have sins to confess on Sunday, do you?”  
  
     “No, mom,” Lea rolled his eyes, and in so doing, noticed Isa glancing at him.  
  
    The boy’s hair was red as bonfire and his eyes green like the summer grass on the Woodcreak Hills. He had a devilish gleam in his eyes that promised nothing but trouble, and yet the woman took Lea’s half-hearted agreement as a promise of good conduct and walked into the shop to the soft ring of a bell.  
  
     Isa dug his gaze into the dirt he had shuffled together. Boys his age from within the city walls didn’t take kindly to people like Isa. They had made it a tradition to ridicule whomever they saw in the traditional blue dress of the Solars. As a proud Solar, Isa wore nothing but the traditional blue dress, a _kolt_ , when he went with his grandfather on diligences. The boy soon noticed the reindeer by the carriage. As soon as he tore his eyes from the deer’s antlers, he took notice of Isa and the large package beside him.  
  
     “What’s in the bag?” Lea asked curiously and inched closer.  
  
     Isa glared at him.  
  
     “A deer’s head.”  
  
     “No way! Can I see?” Lea’s eyes widened and he stared at the brown package with an unspoken ‘please’.  
  
     “No. Stay away. You’ll upset my grandfather.”  
  
     “Is he in there?” Lea nodded to the door, but didn’t wait for a reply. “If he starts talking to my mom, you’ll be sitting here for a while.”  
  
     “So will you,” Isa reminded him.  
  
     Lea grinned and leaned back against the wall behind him. He shrugged in reply and looked around in hopes to find something more interesting than the head of a deer. But he was out of luck. The stands of fruits and vegetables seemed to be explored territory already, and the fishermen selling their catch did not call for Lea’s attention at all. It was hard to imagine that someone with such an itch to rebel would sit quietly in one of Radiant Garden’s grand churches, let alone confess his sins.  
  
     “Are you one of those deer people?” Lea asked once he had settled with the idea that he was just going to do what his mother had asked him to do.  
  
     “Yeah, what’s it to you?” Isa crossed his arms absentmindedly.  
  
     “My dad talks about you a lot. He says that you steal land from us and ruin nature by trying to control it and Mr. Lichtenstein says that you will be the kick to the crotch that will make the economy bend over double. Is that true?”  
  
     “No,” Isa said with a sideway glance.  
  
     “Good, ‘cause I do not like kicks to the crotch.”  
  
     Isa laughed at Lea’s genuine relief. They had just met. Lea had yet to give him reason to want to kick him anywhere, and the story that Lea followed up with didn’t make Isa think he would ever want to either. Lea’s younger sister had a knack for kicking him in retaliation whenever he tried to play with her toys. Generally, she would go for his shins, only one time she didn’t, and they had to rush Lea to the doctor’s office.  
  
     “My dad says that as his only son it is my job to carry on the family name.” Lea shone with pride at announcing his importance and Isa smiled knowingly, for he, too, was in a similar position.  
  
     “I’m Lea, by the way. Lea Ferris.” Lea reached his hand out from where he sat and leaned to the side so that Isa could meet him halfway. Isa didn’t get to shake his hand. The door opened outward and Isa’s grandfather Nilas stepped out. Nilas must have given Lea one of his filthier glares judging by the awe on Lea’s face and the fact that he had moved further down the bench.  
  
     “ _Isa, boađe!_ ” Nilas barked without looking back.  
  
     Isa hurried after him just as Glenn stepped outside to retrieve the brown package.  
  
     “Good day to you, Mr. Svonni!” Glenn called after them as they got onto their open carriage.  
  
     Nilas raised his hand in Glenn’s direction as an acknowledgement, while Isa debated whether he should be waving ‘goodbye’ to Lea, too. But by the time he had turned around, Lea had run off in search for his next adventure.  
  
-x-  
  
‘The Deer People’ was just one of many names the city folks had for them, and one of the kinder, too. Every time Isa had gone into the city with his grandfather, there were some that just couldn’t help themselves from yelling ‘Blueface” after them and laugh heartily. Isa’s grandfather had been part of a large tribe of Solars. Many had been killed and those who survived were persuaded to leave the old ways behind. Maybe it was their defeat that caused their tormentors amusement.  
  
     His grandfather rarely talked about the tragedy that had led their small tribe to the sorry state it was in now. Only when he was drunk did Isa get to hear bits and pieces. Even then it was hard to pay attention because those were the only times his grandfather cried.

     King Ansem had sent his troops to the tribe’s elders toward the end of a long winter when they celebrated their National Day. After a hard winter of looking after their herds and moving with them up toward the mountains, everyone had attended the party to drink and eat to their hearts’ content. Nilas had been twenty at the time, married and father of a two-year old daughter.  
  
     The party had come to an abrupt end when they heard the deer scream at a distance. Everyone had gone outside to see what was happening. Once they made it to the hut of the night shift’s supervisor, they saw the soldiers stab savagely at the deer that crossed their swords’ path. The supervisor had been ruthlessly murdered. The evidence lay clear before them in what was left of his body. The tribe members turned on the Royal Guards; three guards were injured, two were killed. Soon thereafter, King Ansem’s Royal Guards, accompanied by a platoon of fifty soldiers, came for a raid. They were said to be there for justice, to apprehend the culprits. Instead they killed and injured twenty tribe members, they stole entire herds of deer as evidence only to kill the animals and leave them by the bridge that led to Radiant Garden.

     Nilas rarely went further in telling the story. He drank away the blank spaces and murmured accusations at the soldiers and the king that sent them. The survivors did their best to keep going with their traditions, but the constant harassment from the soldiers made most quit and give into the lifestyle that was imposed on them. Nilas was one of the few who kept to the old ways, and tried his best to take from the different traditions from the different tribes to keep them alive in himself and his family. Life had been rough on Nilas, but he wasn’t giving up.

     Isa stopped in the hallway on his way to the diner to look at an old picture of his grandmother. She had died long before Isa was born, but he talked to her as though they had known each other a lifetime. She was the only one who could soften his grandfather’s stern face and lift the burdens from his shoulders if only for a few seconds.  
  
     “Don’t waste time, Isa,” came Nilas’ voice from behind the counter. He had a thick accent, one that he was proud of. He generally refused to speak any other language than his own, unless there was a sword to his throat. He had tried his best to instill the same in Isa, but there had been forces countering him.

     The diner was one of Nilas’ attempts to make enough money to keep going. He sold deer meat, berries, herbs and food to those who could afford his prices. The diner was in the front room of the house between the kitchen and the front door. It was small as far as diners go, but had everything it needed to count as a business.  
  
     Isa dragged the heavy sack against the floor, longing for the day he would be bigger than the things he had to carry around. In the summer, when they moved the deer from one pasture to another, Nilas would have them stop by certain trees to harvest the inner bark to make bark flakes and other variants that was easy to eat. The bark was rich in vitamins. Very few knew how to make it edible and to rid it of the poisons that were prevalent in them. Nilas was one of the few. City folks would never admit to it or even think the thought of eating something like bark for the sake of it, but when they fell ill and needed herbs for medicine, their doctors and healers would find their way here and place an order for inner bark.  
  
     “1.200 gil,” Nilas said to the middle-aged and smartly dressed doctor.  
  
     “Quite a thievery, I must say, Mr. Svonni. The price has increased with 20% from last year.”  
  
     “I’ve learned from the best thieves,” Nilas said and filled a smaller bag with the inner bark that Isa had brought him.  
  
     Nilas would curse them out under his breath, but there were armed soldiers present, sitting in a corner booth, eating, drinking and laughing. Soldiers did not take kindly to any other tongue but their own, especially one with long black hair and a devious glare. Good old Braig had been promoted to Commandant, and though he had a long list of misdemeanors against Solars, he still came by to pay Nilas a weekly visit. Royal orders, he said with a grin when Nilas told him to leave. He always made certain to flash his weapon.  
  
     Isa hurried outside as soon as he had dropped off the sack of inner bark with his grandfather, carrying a lantern to light his way. His mother had sent notice earlier in the week about her return and Isa didn’t want to be there when she stepped in through the door with the condescending look on her face when she found her father behind the counter. No conversation between them had gone without turning into an argument. Isa’s mother despised the old ways, more so when Nilas insisted on their importance. Whenever she heard Nilas speak to Isa in their mother tongue, she would scold him and warn Isa to not reply in any other language but the one that their king spoke.  
  
     The well whistled in the soft breeze and made Isa’s dog Unni bark at the forest and run around in circles.

     “Go and guard Fawn, Unni.”

      Immediately, Unni ran off. Isa put his lantern down and bowed his head slightly as he mumbled a quick prayer to Beaivi, the Sun goddess. He was mid-prayer when a hand reached out for him from the darkness and gripped its bony fingers around his right shoulder. Isa turned around swiftly. Nilas had warned him of soldiers that sometimes lurked in the forests. Isa grabbed the arm tightly, pushed it back and pressed it upward, threatening to break it, even with his limited strength. He shoved the unknown assailant to the ground.  
  
     “Holy shit!” the attacker laughed, his face pressed to the ground. “You gotta show me how to do that.”  
  
     Isa stood back at once and reached for the lantern to shine light at his presumed attacker and saw Lea stand back up slowly, dusting his clothes, a faint smell of coffee beans coming off of him. He twisted his left arm around softly to make sure it was still in its socket.  
  
     “Ugh, remind me to not surprise you in the dark again. My mom is gonna have a fit if she sees me bruised. She thinks I’m made of glass.”  
  
     “What are you doing here?!” Isa hissed and glanced toward the entrance to the house and then in the direction to where the bridge should be.  
  
     “My dad had people over and I was bored out of my skull, so I thought I should pay you a visit. You never got to tell me your name.”  
  
     Isa turned to the well and lowered the bucket angrily. No matter how Lea managed to find this place, it would surely come and bite Isa. Nilas never forgot a face and he knew that Isa had been talking to Lea. Foreigners who came here without intention of buying anything were strictly forbidden. Isa rubbed his knuckles absentmindedly as though he could feel the slaps of his punishment already.  
  
     “My grandfather is going to kill you,” Isa said matter-of-factly and poured the water into another bucket before he picked up his lantern to leave Lea to his self-chosen fate.  
  
     “I was kinda hoping we’d leave him out of this. He did strike me as scary. Like my dad’s boss, only your grandad is like a fifth of my dad’s boss’ build. I think he has nothing but the finest cream for every meal of the day. Like a cat.” Lea held his hands up like paws and meowed with a concerned expression.  
  
     “Stop following me.” Isa picked up his speed, but had to slow down when the water sloshed too violently in the bucket.  
  
     “Who’s that for?” Lea asked instead and hurried along.  
  
     Before Isa could answer, a deer let out a long-winded and pained moan. Lea froze in his tracks but Isa kept on walking until he stopped by a tree where a doe lay next to it, tied to the trunk by her neck. Unni watched from a safe distance.  
  
     “What happened to it? Is it being punished for something?” Lea walked up to them slowly, concerned by the sight.  
  
     “She’s in labor. We tied her up to keep her from walking off into the forest. If she needs help, we can assist her and make sure that her baby is well.” Isa put the bucket right underneath her nose and petted her head softly. “Drink up.”  
  
     “She’s huge.” Lea smiled. “When my mom was expecting, she grew into the size of a church bell. My dad was convinced she was having a litter of babies, but it was just my sister’s big head.”  
  
     Isa put his hands over his mouth to muffle a laugh, but Lea saw him before he could hide and laughed, too.  
  
     “What’s your name?” Lea asked.  
  
     “Isa,” Isa admitted at last, fearful that his name would invite mockery.  
  
     “Isa,” Lea repeated with a small nod. “It’s nice to meet you.” He reached his hand out like he had done outside Glenn’s shop and shook Isa’s hand. “How do you say ‘hello’ in your language?”  
  
     “ _Bures_.” Isa could only thank Beaivi for the dim light that kept Lea from noticing the fierce blush coloring Isa’s cheeks at sharing this greeting with anyone outside the tribe.  
  
     Lea mouthed the word a couple of times before he dared to say it out loud. He looked at Isa while he said it to see if he needed to correct his pronunciation.  
  
     “ _Bures_?” Lea chuckled. “Am I saying it right? _Bures_. If I said it to your grandad, would it be appropriate?”  
  
     Isa frowned.  
  
     “I mean, not now. More like, were I to come early one day when the sun is out to, I don’t know, learn a thing or two about combating enemies in the dark - but when it’s light! - and your grandad answers the door, could I say ‘bures’ and lower the chances of him feeding me to the deer?”

     “He’ll throw you in the well instead.”  
  
     “But see, I know how to climb, so that wouldn’t be as much of a problem as being fed to the deer. Besides, in that scenario I’m counting on your goodwill to help me out, as a friend would another?” Lea smiled hopefully until the doe blew a raspberry and specked him with water and saliva. “Ugh,” he whined as he wiped his face with the back of his hands.  
  
     “Bures will do just fine,” Isa smiled.  
  
    An unfamiliar warmth spread in his chest and tickled his heart, oblivious to the darkness it would inspire in the future.  
  
-x-

With time, Isa learned that 'early mornings' for Lea were almost noon on weekends and almost night on weekdays. The arrival of Isa’s mother proved to be a blessing for the friendship Isa hoped to form with Lea. Nilas was too preoccupied arguing with her that he couldn’t find the time to actively oppose Lea’s frequent visits. That's not to say that Lea avoided scolding altogether, only that it wasn't as bad as Isa had feared. To look at it from the bright side, Lea had learned some useful phrases in Sami that would serve him well the day he got into a fight.  
  
     The sun was setting. Amongst the sound of twittering birds and pacing deer came the familiar sound of Nilas and Isa's mother quarreling. It would have been a day like any other had Lea not been there.  
  
     "Mom's hosting a dinner party on Saturday. It'll be intimate. I was wondering if you'd like to go?" Lea rubbed his thumbs against the ball in his hands before he threw it to Isa.  
  
     “Lea,” Isa sighed.  
  
     “My mom wants to get to know you. I come here a lot and I think she’s starting to suspect that I’m up to no good, or worse, that I have an imaginary demon friend.”  
  
     “Why ‘demon’?” Isa threw the ball to Lea.  
  
     “Illnesses of the mind are demons talking to you from the other side,” Lea said in a practiced rhyme. “It’ll just be one evening! One evening, I promise!”  
  
     “My grandfather won’t let me, and if he does give me permission to go, he’ll make me wear the _kolt_. You said your dad hated people like me, especially for not dressing like ‘normal’ people.”  
  
     “He won’t hate anyone on my mom’s dinner parties,” Lea pouted.  
  
     Isa’s mother’s yelling came from the house and Isa looked at Lea. Little over a year had gone by since that day Lea had dropped by unannounced and wedged his way into Isa’s life. Despite Nilas’s mood swings and disapproving glares, despite the fights Lea had had to witness between Isa’s mother and grandfather, he still came around to spend time with Isa, even if it was just to throw a ball around.  
  
     “When does the dinner start?” Isa asked hesitantly, thinking he would regret it immediately, but Lea lit up with a radiant smile. He dropped the ball and skipped over to Isa to put his arm around Isa’s shoulder.  
  
     “I’ll be waiting by the Golden Gates at five. A coach will get us home faster.”  
  
-x-  
  
Isa had waited until Friday to tell his grandfather that he was invited to a dinner party in the city. What could have turned into yet another quarrel was nothing but a muted permission to go and a tired glance at Isa’s mother who beamed at the thought of Isa taking a liking to the city.  
  
     “A change of scenery will do you good, Isa,” she said over dinner. “Life is more than ill smelling beasts and hard labor. Radiant Garden has so much more to offer. A civil life, one with God and His teachings.”  
  
     “Middja,” Nilas began, sighing.  
  
     “It is Melanie, father. How many times must I remind you?” Isa’s mother glared at Nilas. “You will be on your best behavior, Isa. It is a great privilege that Lea has offered you by inviting you to his home. What does his parents do for a living?”  
  
     Isa kept looking down on his plate, moving his food around with his fork.  
  
     “Don’t play with your food, Isa. Manners, for God’s sake. Answer the question. Sit straight and look up from your plate. Isa!” Melanie rubbed her forehead with badly concealed irritation. “What does his parents do for a living?”  
  
     “His mother works at a coffee shop when she’s not taking care of his little sister,” Isa said slowly and watched his mother try to stare the answer out of him quicker. He could tell her that Lea’s mother in fact owned a high-end coffee shop, but the greedy glint in her eyes made Isa cautious.  
  
     “And his father?” Melanie asked impatiently before Isa had finished.  
  
     “I’m not sure. He sells something, too, and he’s part of some sort of group.”  
  
     Lying came exceptionally easy when he talked to his mother. The look on her face told Isa that he may not be as good a liar as he ought to be to get away with it, but even so, she didn’t question him further.  
  
     On the day of the dinner party, Nilas had laid out a dark blue dress with colorful embroideries on equally colorful and wide edgings around the collar, chest, hem and sleeves with a hat to match. Isa wore it to spite his mother, but felt his heart beat hard with nervousness when he approached the Golden Gates without his grandfather to hide behind. Lea stood there as promised, a coach parked further down the tiled ground. Isa didn’t get a good look until he stood by the gates. The fear and worry of having worn his _kolt_ for this event disappeared the second he saw what Lea was wearing. His wild red hair was slicked back and curved by his neck. The black tuxedo made Lea’s legs look shorter, his loafers made his feet look bigger, and the white shirt and bow together with the black, shiny blazer with a long tail reminded Isa of the big, fat birds of the north that couldn’t fly and whose name he always forgot.  
  
    “Isa, you are looking good,” Lea commented politely and stood up straight, waiting to hear something good be said about the dress he was obviously proud to wear.  
  
    “As do you,” Isa said, grinning.  
  
    Isa thought of a hundred things to say about Lea’s clothes, but was too preoccupied with the fancy coach that took them through the finest parts of Radiant Garden. It was places Isa hadn’t seen before and couldn’t have imagined had he not seen them for himself. They passed by a big library with an entrance marked with marble pillars. The coach rounded a fountain that seemed to absorb the street light and illuminate the water in a way that made it seem like ice. People in fancy clothing walked the streets. They gathered at restaurants and cafés that were much more stylish and inviting than the diner Nilas had at home.  
  
    Lea lived in a lavish building on Ambassador Street. Three stories high, large windows and a front door that was four times Isa’s height in strong solid oak with a golden door knob. Lea opened it and stepped inside, motioning for Isa to get in, too, when he got stuck watching the carvings on the doorframe.  
  
    “What are those?” Isa asked awestruck. “Monsters?”  
  
    “Angels. They do God’s work.”  
  
    “Humans with wings?” Isa asked in disbelief. “Why are there babies?”  
  
    “Isa, get in here, we’re gonna be late. I’ll tell you all about it later.” Lea chuckled as he led Isa inside. There was too much to take in. The entrance alone was decorated with things beyond Isa’s imagination. The ceiling was covered in religious paintings. Plentiful bouquets of colorful flowers in shapes never before seen filled giant vases, seeming as if they had just been picked from whichever world they came from. Isa stopped every other step down the hallway toward the dining room to watch the elaborate and pompous portraits on the walls.

    “Isa!”  
  
    “They’re following me with their eyes,” Isa said and took one step to the right and then quickly to the left as he stared into a painting of a very fat man in the uniform of the Royal Guards decorated with medals. “Are they monsters?” Isa looked at the walls covered in paintings of people staring at their observers with disdain.  
  
    Lea grabbed him by his sleeve and dragged him down the hallway just in time to nearly walk into his mother on their way into what Isa assumed to be the dining room. But surely, no dining room was meant to have a ceiling that high, let alone a ceiling with so many bewinged babies. Isa’s attention was abruptly called for with a nudge from Lea.  
  
    “Isa, this is my mom, Sophie Ferris. Mom, this is Isa.”  
  
    “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Ferris,” Isa greeted. Mrs. Ferris, much like Lea, had a faint scent of coffee.  
  
    “Likewise, Isa.” She seemed distracted by Isa’s clothes. Mrs. Ferris smiled, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Lea has been telling us about you. I was starting to worry that you were an imaginary friend.  Meeting you has certainly put my mind at ease. I like your dress. It’s very… blue.”  
  
    Mrs. Ferris had hair as red as Lea’s, she was just as pale, but her eyes blue. She was in a smart, green dress. The skirt of the dress was puffy and frilly, small glass pearls decorated the collar. Of all there was to see, Isa was mostly fascinated by the small, golden cross on her simple necklace. It looked like an unfinished symbol for Beaivi. Had Lea told them about the Solars’s beliefs? Isa smiled at the thought.  
  
    “Dear,” Mrs. Ferris called to her husband and waved him over. “Lea finally managed to convince his friend to come over. This is Isa,” she said and put her arm in his.  
  
    Isa was glad that he hadn’t commented on Lea’s clothes. Mr. Ferris was wearing an identical tuxedo. His hair was black as night, as were his eyes. Mr. Ferris clenched his jaw slightly as he studied Isa for a brief second, but in the interrogating and intense glare, it felt much longer than that.  
  
    “You bring your traditions with you, I see.” Mr. Ferris reached his hand out to greet Isa. “A good handshake is very telling of a man’s character, Isa. Always keep that in mind.” Mr. Ferris said as he pulled his hand back.  
  
    “Yes, sir.”  
  
    “Lea, have you greeted Madeleine? She brought Augustus with her. You could introduce them to Isa. I’m sure the exchange would do them good. Isa, make yourself at home. It was nice to finally meet you, and I hope you enjoy dinner.” Mr. Ferris shook Isa’s hand again and smiled. “A quick learner.”  
  
    As Lea’s parents went on their way to greet another glamorous couple, Isa looked after them for a short while and then turned back to Lea.  
  
    “Who’s Madeleine and Augustus?” Isa struggled with the foreign names.  
  
    “Just a couple of friends.” Lea shrugged. “The bell will ring when it’s time to be seated. You wanna stay and mingle or you wanna find out if the paintings are staring at us?”  
  
    Isa made it a task to look like the choice was a tough one to make, and once he thought he had dallied enough, he said, much too eagerly, “The paintings!”  
  
    A couple of runs up and down the hallway revealed quickly that the paintings were indeed looking at them and following them with their frightening stare, but their eyes were all they could move.  
  
    “Maybe their souls are stuck in there,” Isa suggested after he had tired himself out.  
  
    “My dad says that our ancestors will always be around to watch over us and Radiant Garden. It’s why we have these paintings of them, to remind ourselves of who they were and that they are still watching and guiding us to help Radiant Garden be the best it can be. Everyone who comes to visit know who they are. Their names live on still. My dad says that great actions makes a man immortal.”  
  
    Isa stared up at the painting of the man in a soldier’s uniform. He looked like the soldiers that came by Nilas’s diner to eat, and to interrogate him and make sure that he was paying his taxes to the King. _Sir Edward David Ferris - General of His Majesty’s Royal Army_ , said the plaque underneath the painting.  
  
    “My grandfather’s brother,” Lea announced proudly. “Dad says that he lived his life for Radiant Garden, and helped shape it into what it is today. Thanks to him we have a lot more resources that appeal to foreign buyers. ‘Reach for the stars and you’ll find him there, Lea’,” Lea imitated his father. “I’ll be immortal, too, you know. Everyone will know my name and remember me forever. I’ll make sure of that.”  
  
    The bell rang and everyone gathered around the table to find their name tags. The table of dark, polished wood, was long and wide, decorated with flowers, patterned table runners and big candlesticks of silver. How a dinner party with fifty guests could be considered ‘intimate’, Isa would never understand. He wondered how other events, less intimate, were in size and company.  
  
    Lea had made it so they were seated next to each other, far enough from his parents that they wouldn’t try to speak to them, but close enough to have them within ear shot. Mr. Ferris seemed too preoccupied with discussing his ideas with bankers and fellow co-workers to pay Isa any mind, and he had his listeners in a vice grip.  
  
    “Lea!” a cheerful voice came from across the table. Isa tilted his head slightly to see a girl their age wave at Lea enthusiastically, her long blonde locks moving about like springs.  
  
    Lea lit up and waved back, momentarily catching himself and glanced at Isa quickly. He cleared his throat and fiddled with his napkin, a blush spreading from his neck and up his cheeks.  
  
    “Is your father doing a charity event?” Madeleine asked curiously and gave Isa a look.  
  
    “What? No. No, he’s not. It, um - where’s Augustus?”  
  
    “In the little boy’s room,” Madeleine giggled.  
  
    Lea smiled back.  
  
    “Madeleine, this is Isa, a friend of mine. Isa, this is Madeleine, also a friend.”  
  
    “Nice to meet you,” Isa greeted and saw Madeleine nod, clasping her hands together nervously at the edge of the table.  
  
    Servants walked into the room to serve the food. Augustus sat down next to Madeleine, but his presence went by unnoticed by the awkward silence that settled between the other three. Isa fiddled with the hem of his sleeve. He slid his thumb against the yellow, red and white colored edgings. If he didn’t get along with Lea’s normal friends, this could be the beginning of the end.  
  
    Lea leaned in close to whisper to Isa.  
  
    “Do you see the man on the right of my dad?”  
  
    Isa looked up and had a quick glance to hide his smile. It was none other than Mr. Ferris’s largely built superior.  
  
    “Told ya, didn’t I? I don’t know where they found a circus tent big enough to fit that man.”  
  
    “So that’s what the future holds for the unforgettable Lea Ferris,” Isa teased.  
  
    “I hope not. You’re gonna keep me fit. Besides, dad’s in shape.”  
  
    “Lea!” this time it was Augustus who called for Lea’s attention. He pushed his thick glasses up his nose and gave a slight bow. Before Lea had the chance to introduce Isa to him, Augustus turned his attention to Isa and narrowed his eyes and corrected his glasses on the bridge of his nose as if he wasn’t sure to be offended by the sight that met him. “Headdresses are not allowed at the table,” he snapped and pointed straight at the hat on Isa’s head.  
  
    “Augustus,” Madeleine said and tried to get Augustus to put his hand down, but he was stubborn.  
  
    “Shut it, Augustus, or I swear, I’ll rip you up like a lobster and, and, boil you in butter!” Lea hissed, picking up his knife for emphasis and pointed it in Augustus’ direction. Madeleine gasped at Lea’s sudden and seemingly uncharacteristic outburst, and it was enough for Lea to lower the knife, the blush from earlier creeping up like a tide.  
  
    “Then you’ll really turn into the man in the circus tent with that much butter,” Isa said without thinking.  
  
    Lea laughed so hard he earned a disapproving glare from his father.  
  
    Augustus proved to be quite the chatterbox. Lea tried not to roll his eyes and stuffed his mouth with food to not let any toads escape it in the presence of Madeleine. It didn’t take long for Isa to notice that Lea had a special liking for her and wanted to spare her his uglier sides to not fall out of her grace.

    Augustus had declared that he was going to be an astronomer for the Royal Court and find proof of extraterrestrial life after having seen a star fall straight out of the sky when he was five. Though the majority of the company found his lifestory uncompelling, Isa was secretly fascinated and felt like sharing the stories of all the stars he had seen fall out of the sky on his wanders with the deer. But Lea had other plans.  
  
    As soon as they were done with dessert, Lea lured Isa out to the hallway with the promise of showing him something even greater than the Royal Library that they had passed by on the coach. Butterflies grew and fluttered in Isa’s stomach all the way to a room with large doors. It was Mr. Ferris’s study and the library of the house. Big bookshelves that stretched from the floor to the ceiling stood side by side, covering the walls, nearly bursting with books, and Isa stared and gaped.  
  
    “Come here,” Lea said and walked up to a particular shelf. He had prepared a small pack with four books and handed them to Isa. “I was here the other day to study for the entrance exam to the Royal Academy, which is more of a formality than an actual test since my dad’s on the Board of Directors,” Lea smiled sheepishly. “Anyway, I got bored and started to look through some of these and I found old books on herding and reindeer and some about your old customs. I thought you’d like them, and if you don’t, maybe Nilas will.”  
  
    “What will your father say?” Isa asked as he took the books hesitantly.  
  
    “Not much. Most of these books are just for decor. The ones he values are in a safe. These books will be of better use with you.” Lea smiled. “I read that when you get married you’ll have to change these square buttons into round ones.” Lea pointed at the buttons on Isa’s colorful belt.  
  
    “I’m planning on growing out of this dress.”  
  
    Lea laughed.  
  
    “What do you do to show that one is taken?” Isa asked curiously.  
  
    “We wear rings. One for engagement and one for marriage. I’ll get to propose with a ring that’s been in our family for generations. I’ve only seen it once, and it sparkled like snow in the sun.”

    Isa held the books tight to his chest and gave a slow nod.  
  
    “I think that when I show my grandfather these books, he’ll have you work with us. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m just warning you. But, coming from my grandfather, it’d be a great honor. So, know that it comes from a good place.” Isa changed the subject at an unsettling feeling fluttering about in his chest.  
  
    “Really? I’ll get my own reindeer?” Lea’s eyes widened.  
  
    “No, we don’t split the herd,” Isa smiled. “You’ll see when and if you agree to work with us. Be prepared for pain.”  
  
    “I’m too great for pain!” Lea announced. “I’ll leave you both in a trail of dust!”  
  
    Lea placed his arm around Isa’s shoulder and led him back out to the hallway to show him the rest of the spectacular house.


	5. Accept What You Cannot Change

* * *

Present

* * *

In the light of the decision made by Master Yen Sid to claim custody of Isa and have a Keyblade-wielder watch him, an emergency meeting was scheduled for Isa with Dr. Even. It was a mystery as to how Dr. Even managed to keep up with classified information. Isa doubted that the Restoration Committee had taken time out of their busy schedule to inform Dr. Even that Isa was most likely going to be supervised by Lea indefinitely, and that he may need some mental preparation beforehand.

    It was eight o’clock on a Monday morning. Instead of being in his office, Isa sat on a comfortable couch in Dr. Even’s office, staring at the framed pictures of baby animals in the otherwise very strictly furnished space. The picture of a fawn was particularly striking.

   Dr. Even pushed the door open with a bunch of folders in his arm and had to struggle to get his briefcase past the door frame. He stumbled inside and dropped everything onto his desk with a loud sigh and took the opportunity to brush a stray hair back into place. He, too, had a busy schedule. He was the only one in Radiant Garden with a formal education in psychology and had an insight of what life had been like under Xehanort’s influence. He held precious knowledge about many things that no one else had. Aside from aiding as many survivors as possible in their post-traumatic struggles, he taught at the one university that had been established since the reconstruction of Radiant Garden. He was in the midst of writing a self-help book to all of those patients whom he didn’t have the time to attend.

    “Sorry that I’m late, Isa. It’s impossible to get a coach nowadays. Let’s begin, shall we?”

    Isa nodded.

    Dr. Even walked up to him and reached his hand out and waited for Isa to take it in his and shake it. “Good morning, Isa. How are you today?”

    “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?” Isa shook Dr. Even’s hand in his firm grip.

    “A little stressed, but I can’t really complain.”

    There was always time for pleasantries, according to Dr. Even. Greet properly, and always ask how the other one is doing, even if you don’t care. It’s what people do, or should do, at least. If anything, it would help with Isa’s social skills.

   “I hear the righteous ones have finally learned of your return. You will be put under more supervision, Isa. How do you feel about that?”

   Dr. Even sat down on the couch across from Isa and reached for his pen and notepad on the small, round coffee table next to him.

   “I don’t know. Do you know how much more supervision?”

   “Around the clock according to the memo I received. Yen Sid will put one of his Keyblade-wielders on you on the suspicion that you either harbor a part of Xehanort in you or that you, on your own, are trying to complete his plan. Thoughts?”

   “That’s just the way it is.” Isa clasped his hands together on his lap and let out a small, shaky sigh. “I have to accept what I cannot change.”

   “Do you fully believe in that yet?”

   “I’ll get there.”

   “Good. I’ve put a compendium together of exercises for you.” Dr. Even rose from his seat to dig around in the pile of files on his desk. “I want you to do at least three every day á twenty minutes each. Preferably in the morning, but that is up to you. Have you tried to meditate yet?”

   “I did, once. It didn’t work out very well.”

   “That’s okay. Baby steps, remember? I’m afraid we might suffer a setback with the Keyblade-wielders involved, which is why it is imperative that you do these exercises. We don’t want an excess of anxiety attacks now, do we?”

   “No, we don’t.” Isa took the file that Dr. Even offered him and quickly flipped through it. “I’ve been invited to a teaparty on Friday…”

   “Oh, right! Good of you to remind me.” Dr. Even hurried back to his desk and dug around some more in his files and pulled out a single paper. “Your permission slip. Take good care of it. That mechanic isn’t in a very good mood and his signature is the easiest one to get. Do you have any other questions, Isa?”

   “How long will it take to get it on paper that I’m no longer Xehanort?”

   Dr. Even sighed and watched Isa put his permission slip into his inside pocket carefully.

   “It is very hard to say. The only other person to have been possessed longer than you was Terra. Xaldin still had long ways to go. And Xigbar… well, he’s nowhere to be found. You are aware of what happened to Terra, aren’t you?”

   “...yeah.”

   “He survived for a couple of months, but Xehanort had corrupted him far too much for far too long. Since we weren’t allowed to do any tests on him when he was alive, there’s no way for us to see whether you’ve fallen in the same patterns as him. Rest assured that Ienzo is working hard on it, Isa. If anyone can figure it out, it’ll be him, and you’ll be the first one to know when he does find out. In the meantime?”

   “I have to accept what I cannot change.”

   “And?”

   “Not worry when there’s no need to.”

   “Exactly!” Dr. Even quickly glanced at his wristwatch. “I’m sorry to have to cut this session so short, but I have eight patients to attend and two seminars today. Were you escorted here?”

   “Yeah. They’re waiting downstairs.”

   “Have a safe journey back, and we’ll be seeing each other in two weeks.”

   They shook hands goodbye. Dr. Even’s secure and comfortable office turned into the interior of an old, royal horse cab where he sat with one uniformed guard on one side and another across from him. Isa rubbed his thumb over his clenched forefinger restlessly as they went around the castle to get to the Research Center. Every moment that went by, was one moment closer to a change Isa wasn’t feeling prepared for at all.

-x-

Axel had never been good with paperwork, Lea downright hated it. There was something inherently frustrating to know that he could use other means to get into this correction facility. Other than those that were being used now. He had to walk through the large, surveilled gate and show the guards in the white booth the signed document that granted him permission to go inside and take Isa into his custody. Lea became part of the bureaucracy that he despised, and he took part in turning Isa into a package without autonomy. It was just like it had been with Xemnas. A slip of paper determined where you would go, who was your friend and who was your foe.

   Once inside, he had to identify himself again and prove that he was who he claimed he was by summoning his Keyblade. There was no magic allowed inside. All enhancement pendants had to be left with the guards in a safebox with five different passwords, and cornea and fingerprint identification. It was exaggeration at its finest, as far as Lea was concerned, especially when it turned out that they had to walk through four security points to actually get into the facility.

   Lea was led into the canteen. White walls, white tables, white seats, it was almost blinding. There were guards at all three exits, and in the middle of the room sat Isa with a bored expression. His hands were cuffed behind his back and his ankles were cuffed to the table. The guard with Lea led him to Isa.

   “Prisoner 1507, sir.”

   “Yeah, thanks. Are the handcuffs really necessary?”

   “Protocol, sir.”

   Lea sat down across from Isa as the guard went to stand by a door. The chance of having a beautiful reunion had already gone out the window. Lea had hoped for better seconds, but seeing how it only seemed to get worse, he decided it was best to stop hoping for anything else.

   “Hi,” Lea said finally.

   “Hi,” Isa replied, dully.

   “What’s with the cuffs?”

   “Spontaneous berserker-mode seizures. And they think I can use magic.”

   Lea didn’t want to, but it was important to file a report on his first official encounter with Isa. He pulled out a small notebook from the back of his pocket and a pen. The questions Yen Sid had told him to ask were faint in his memory, obscured by Isa’s unwavering gaze.

   “Do you get those seizures often?” Lea looked down onto his sloppy notes, shaking his leg.

   “Not since my fifth week here.”

   “Can you use magic when you’re not cuffed?”

   “Only to mess with my enemies,” Isa said in a low voice to keep the guards from hearing.

   Lea looked up at Isa, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

   “As serious as a heart attack.”

   “But…” Lea flipped through his notes to get to the part where he had scribbled down facts and comments from Isa’s file from Dr. Even’s archives. “You’re not… according to Dr. Even you don’t feel like you have enemies?”

   “Can’t I lie?”

   “Isa, are you _fucking serious_ right now?” Lea leaned forward, quickly glancing at the guards in the canteen and gulped. He hadn’t prepared for this. Isa, although somewhat frightening, had seemed honest. He had told Lea about Dr. Even’s diary and promised him it once he found it. Was this Xehanort coming through? Lea couldn’t tell. Isa looked back at him with an expression that was impossible to read. “Do you know how much trouble you’re in if you’ve been lying to everyone?”

   “A lot, I imagine.”

   “Isa," Lea said sternly as if that would be enough to help him decide whether Isa was speaking the truth or not. "You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” Lea paused for a reply or at least a crack in that pokerface of his, but nothing. “Yeah, you’re messing with me. Isa? Stop it. Tell me, are you serious? I have to report this. Are you upset that I have to follow you around? Is that it? Can’t you just say so instead of scaring the shit out of me?”

   “Do you have any other questions?” Isa asked, calmly.

   Lea put his notebook aside and sighed. “Yeah, I do. Are you Xehanort?”

   “Possibly.”

   “Possibly,” Lea repeated with a scoff. “Okay. You know what? We’re done with the questions for today. Guard! I’m done.”

   Three guards approached Isa to get him out of his seat and out of the cuffs that tied him to the table. Lea put his notebook back into his pocket and went outside to wait for Isa. He had read through his schedule before coming here. Third Tuesday of every month was visit day at the shelter. Lea didn’t know what such a visit entailed. Cid had gone on about how it was dangerous for Isa to be out together with the populace, and yet, Isa was going to the one place where they would definitely recognize him. In any case, Lea was prepared for the worst.

   They sat quietly in the coach at first. The clatter of the horses filled the silence between them. Isa seemed surprised that there weren’t any guards inside the cab with them and that was the first change in the Saïx-esque mask of the day.

   “Why are they taking you to the shelter?” Lea asked. He glanced at Isa. His voice shifted Isa’s attention from the city landscape.

   “I thought you were done with the questions for today.”

   “This is off the record.”

   “For clothes,” Isa replied finally and turned his attention back outside.

   Lea’s gaze fell upon Isa’s neck as he stretched it to catch a better glimpse of whatever he saw outside. A small strip of transparent metal went around his neck. It was barely visible, but the reflection of the afternoon sun revealed it. Lea didn’t know if it had been there the first time he had seen Isa. It didn’t seem to bother him, but it made Lea worry. If that was what he thought it was, it would explain the lack of cuffs and the easiness with which the guards had agreed to not sit in the coach with them.

   The shelter was a one-story storeroom that had once belonged to the railway company before Radiant Garden fell. The Restoration Committee had thought it big enough to accommodate everyone who needed shelter, food and clothing. It only offered clothing now. Those who had things to spare, donated clothes and toys to the shelter on Wednesdays and Thursdays. The shelter opened on Friday mornings with a queue that reached around it and continued four blocks down the road. By Saturday afternoon it stood almost empty.

   The hardwood floor creaked as they stepped inside. The shopkeeper got up from his seat behind the register and greeted the guards with a quiet nod. He was a large man with an ungroomed look. He scratched his double-chin with stubby fingers thoughtfully when his eyes fell on Lea, and once he noticed the silver keychain with the familiar depiction of King Mickey hanging from Lea’s belt, he gave Lea a nod and a small salute.

   Isa had already found a pair of worn cargopants when Lea looked at him again. He walked amongst the empty racks until he got to one where there was a sweater. He turned on it, inspected the patterns of pine trees in different sizes and different shades of dark green and then took it. Isa walked up to the man behind the register and put his items on the counter and took out a small, worn and brown booklet and a white card from his pocket.

   “Why was this sweater left?” Isa asked as the man checked the booklet and put a stamp on it and scribbled something next to it.

   “Belonged to a murder victim. Got killed last week.” The man slid the booklet back to Isa and packed his items into a hemp bag Isa had brought with him. The man chewed on the tip of a toothpick and glared at Isa with his tired eyes. “Bet that it’ll suit you just fine.”

   “Thanks,” Isa said sternly, and no sooner had he finished, when the racks fell on top of each other like dominos. The guards pulled out their weapons; one was aimed at Isa while the other three scouted the area. Black pools swooshed from one place to another, and in the distance a gnawing sound that seemed to multiply.

   “W-what’s going o-on?!” The man behind the cashier shrieked as he followed the black pools with his eyes and reached for a baseball bat.

   “Heartless.” Isa, too, watched the black pools form and disappear. One guard tried to swing his sword after it, but they moved too fast.

   “Call them back, prisoner!” The guard aiming a gun at Isa yelled, glancing at his comrades from the corner of his eye with panic written all over his face. They had all heard what Heartless were capable of; they knew what could happen when their hearts were separated from their bodies.

   “Stay calm!” Lea summoned his Keyblade instinctively and walked forward. “Get back. Your weapons won’t do any good here. And you!” Lea turned to the guard with the gun pointed at Isa. “Put that down. Now.”

   The Heartless weren’t materializing. The sound of them was all that came through the black pools. It was enough to make anyone panic. It sounded like there were at least a thousand Heartless waiting to rip through the ground and run wild. Lea tried to run one pool through with his Keyblade, but he ended up cutting right through the floor.

   “They’re not real,” Isa said.

   “Have you had these type of sightings before?” Lea asked the man clutching the baseball.

   “N-no! I’ve heard rumors of Heartless-sightings downtown, b-but nothing around here.”

   “They’re not real, Lea,” Isa repeated louder.

   “How would you know?” Lea tried to use his Keyblade on one again, but only managed to rip one floorboard out of place.

   “There’s no smell.”

   They all stopped to whiff in the air after the moving black pools. The only smell they could make out was the smell of old clothes washed in cheap detergent, wet floors and cardboard.

   “What are they supposed to smell like?” one guard asked.

   “Like sulfur. Rotten eggs.”

   The apparitions remained for at least ten minutes before they all vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. The guards looked through the place to see if there were any traces left that could tell them what had caused it, but their first priority was having their prisoner escorted back to the correction facility. They regrouped and had one guard hurry to headquarters to report about the incident.

   Neither Lea nor Isa said anything on the way back. Lea was too caught up in his own thoughts to think of anything to say. Isa remembered what those creatures smelled like. Lea had started to forget all of those details. He had been out longer than Isa had, it was only natural, and he hoped dearly that Isa would get the chance to forget most of their time in darkness too.

-x-

All nightmares started with a bunch of voices screaming over each other all at once. There were always windows crashing and a diner in the bottom floor of a pale wooden house. He heard laughter inside it, all the while everything started to burn and disappear into thick, black smoke. Right before he woke, he would see an old man rocking in a chair, birds twittering in the background while Isa approached him in fast, fragmented moments. The man would look up at him, his face blank until he opened his eyes. A flash of other things would disrupt the time in between, but by the time Isa was staring the man in the eye, he saw a sneer twisted by the amber in the eyes that stared back.

   Isa sat up in his bed quickly, still half-asleep while vivid images flashed before his eyes and he gasped for breath. Isa rocked back and forth slowly, leaning down over his knees as he clutched at the front of his shirt.

   _Exercise one:_

  1. _Take one deep breath. Hold it in for four seconds._
  2. _One one thousand. Two one thousand. Three one thousand. Four one thousand._
  3. _Exhale slowly._
  4. _Out of Mary, the lamb, the children and the teacher, who would you like to be?_



   What did the lamb do? Isa tried to think of the lyrics, but the screams were louder. This was only going to escalate. Mary. Mary had a lamb. Isa mumbled it under his breath a few times. She had a lamb and then what? Did it die? _No, Unni guarded it._

   “Isa?”

   Lea was here. If he was anything like he used to be, he would put a hand on his back, thinking that it could be nothing but of help.

   “Don’t touch me.”

   “I won’t. You need anything?”

   Isa shook his head frantically.

   “Cold works, y’know. Can you walk to the bathroom?”

   Isa didn’t see Lea or the room, only the kaleidoscope of colors behind his tightly closed eyes. Even so he managed to get himself to the bathroom, following Lea’s instructions. He was talking in the same tone as Ienzo, on a frequency that snuck past the screaming voices in his head. Soft and calm. Isa felt the cold of the bathtub against his bare feet when he hugged his knees close to his chest. A cascade of cold water hit against his back, shocking breath right out of him. He clenched his hands around his knees, freezing on the spot. The voices turned to ice and came crashing into a thousand pieces against the bottom of his mind.

   “S-shit!” Isa choked.

   “Don’t forget to breathe, Isa.”

   It took a few tries, but once the initial shock wore off, he started to inhale and exhale slowly. Each breath grew thicker and the thousand voices that lay in pieces dissolved into tears. This was the worst part of these attacks. A sob ripped through his ribcage and before he knew it, he was crying like a newborn who had been slapped to life. It was supposed to be a cleansing experience but it only served as a reminder of what little he had control of.

   Lea didn't say anything. He sat down on the toilet and waited for Isa's muffled sobs to die out in silence. He soon hurried out and came back with a towel and a change of clothes.

    “Get out,” Isa said through chattering teeth once he had gotten out of the tub. “I’m not changing in front of you.”

    He didn’t reach for his long-sleeved shirt for a quick inspection until he heard the door close after Lea. He twisted the water out of his hair quickly and undressed. He dried off rapidly with the towel and kept his gaze firmly ahead onto the wall and didn’t look down on himself until he had pulled his newly acquired sweater on. Isa was still trembling by the time he walked out of the bathroom and straight back to his bed.

    “You alright?” Lea asked from where he sat tucked in on the two-seat couch by the barred window.

   “Yeah. Thanks for the advice.” Isa rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand to catch any leftover tears.

    “Anytime.”

    “I won’t give you anything back for it.”

    “I didn’t think you would.”

    “Good.”

    Isa pulled his covers around himself and leaned back against the wall behind him. There was a dull ache left in his chest from his episode earlier. It was receding faster than it would have had Isa chosen to take another emergency pill.

    He had a diary hidden underneath his mattress. The guards searched his room in what they believed to be a sporadic, unpredictable schedule. Isa knew when and where to hide it to keep it from them. The information in it was only for him and would make very little sense to anyone else. He kept track of his nightmares. He had drawings of the diner, the pale wooden house, deer and the white rocking chair. There were two recurring persons in his nightmares, and their faces were always blank. He pondered whether he should take it out now and risk letting Lea see it.

    “Do you want some canned coffee? Decaf. You look like you’re cold," Lea asked.

    “You can’t just walk in and out of here. You’ll set off the alarm.”

    “You want one or not?” Lea reached his hand into a bag by the couch and pulled out a can of coffee.

    “Yeah, okay.”

    The couch squeaked when Lea got up and he almost fell back in when he lost his balance briefly. He opened the can and gave it to Isa before he sat down on the coffee table between the bed and the couch.

    “Can I ask you something?”

    “It’s all you seem to do.” Isa looked into the can and inhaled the smell of it slowly. As much as he tilted the can left and right, he couldn’t see the color of it. He could only hear it slosh.

    “I haven’t poisoned it,” Lea said when Isa kept inspecting it.

    “What color is it?” Isa asked and took a small sip.

    “The coffee? Brown. Dark brown. Why?”

    “No reason.” Isa downed the sweet and warm coffee, feeling a shudder up his spine at the change of temperature. Fifty centiliters didn’t last long and shaking the can for a last drop seemed too desperate when Lea was sitting right there, watching.

    “Isa, there’s some sort of thin, transparent tape around your neck. Did you know?”

    “Yeah.” Isa clenched his hands around the can to not touch his neck at the mention of the so called tape around it.

    “Do you know what it is?” Lea seemed tense. He rubbed his face thoughtfully with one hand while looking at Isa as if he sat with the detonator of the high-tech machinery in his hand.

    “Yeah. It’s a decapitator.”

    Lea lost resemblance of color at hearing it out loud. He must have known what it was. Renowned Keyblade-warrior with infinite access to all information by just flashing his keychain, of course he’d know. Lea got up and paced around the small room as he ran his fingers through his hair and mumbled to himself.

    A decapitator was almost just what it sounded like. What looked like plastic tape was carbon fiber laced with microscopic connectors. It was used to measure current heart rate, resting heart rate and cortisol levels. It had been considered a lie detector on the go when it first hit the Radiant Garden market, but it wasn’t very reliable for that end. It was something else that made it useful at times like these. They had been considered inhumane during its time on the market soon after the First Fall. The real beauty of it was in all of the engineering that had gone into a small, flat commando board that wasn’t bigger than the battery for a wristwatch. It was attached to the common carotid artery in the neck with three tiny clutches against its walls. One press of a button on the detonator sent those three clutches ripping through the artery in near irreparable ways. A decapitator of modern times.

    “Did - did anyone tell you why?” Lea asked finally and quickly rubbed his eyes.

    “I’m a war criminal, former second in command of Organization XIII, suspected of being or harboring pieces of Xehanort. They need the comfort of knowing that if worse comes to worst, they can terminate me with a single push of a button.”

    “It wasn’t supposed to be like this…” Lea sighed as he kept on pacing.

   “Accept what you cannot change,” Isa mumbled as he laid down on his bed and watched Lea pace until he fell asleep.


	6. Visitor

 

* * *

 Fourteen years earlier

* * *

 

 

As promised, Lea never asked Isa to go to a dinner party again, though sometimes, he inferred it in hopes that Isa would suggest coming over all by himself. It didn’t happen often, but Isa would go to Lea’s house despite the troubles he knew it would cause with his grandfather. The sweet flutter in Isa’s chest when Lea brightened up was worth it. Despite that they sometimes had to spend time with Madeleine and Augustus, Isa didn’t mind. Lea made up for it by bringing Isa to places in the city he thought Isa would appreciate. Lea had yet to be wrong.

     Lea came by whenever he could, and with the time they had, they made most of it by turning Isa’s chores to games. Nilas had slowly grown accustomed to Lea, mostly charmed by Lea’s eagerness to learn of their ways. Lea was thus allowed on the premises as long as he made himself useful. While a condition as such could easily have turned into a thorn in most friendships, Lea didn’t seem to mind at all and thrived in situations where he could whine endlessly about the hard labors that no merchant’s son should have to know about.

     “I thought you were greater than pain,” Isa would tease to which Lea would stick his tongue out and hurry from the well, balancing two buckets full of water, to the large wooden tub they had near the deer.

     The hard labor helped shape Lea into a fine young man, and he was very much aware of the physical consequences moving bales of hay and other slightly heavy lifting had had on his person. More often than not, he could not wait to show it off and see what luck it would bring him with the ladies when time was due. Isa scoffed at him as he stood by the counter in the diner before opening, flexing his muscles for Isa’s verdict. Despite his muscles, he still had the lean built of a merchant’s son that had yet to lift more than a pen. Isa didn’t want Lea to get too cocky.

     Days came and went, they settled into a comfortable and harmonious routine that seemed to come with a promise to never change, but as the two grew older, the things setting them apart grew more obvious.

     It was summer before junior high, and Lea had decided to spend it with Isa after much squabbles with his parents who strongly objected to Lea’s time consuming friendship with Isa. Lea had yet to tell Isa what exactly he had said so that they would let him go on a trip that few outside the old tribe understood. Whatever it had been, had left a strong impression on Lea, a weight that was ever present, even when it was the furthest thing from his mind. Isa thought to have made a good impression on Lea’s parents, but pleasantries aside, nothing changed that he was something else, something unrelatable and not part of the world Lea was to grow up in. Wearing the _kolt_ to every gathering might have upset them. It was as though he wanted to make a political statement by being in their house, in their city.

     All Nilas could tell him when Isa sought his advice, was that everything they did had to be made into a political statement to not be forgotten. No one would draw their portraits and remind everyone else that they existed. It was a task they had to do themselves. Fight to be noticed, even while alive. Isa thought back on Lea’s statement, on how he would be as immortal as those on the portraits on his walls. Lea was certain. It was a right he had earned, inherited. A strike of jealousy brought Isa a world of shame. It wasn’t Lea’s fault, but still, Isa wished that he too could belong in a world where his existence mattered as much as others. He too wanted to be remembered for good deeds and not waste away into oblivion.

     While Lea prepared for a school that would help him on his quest for immortality, Isa had to prepare for the weeks long hike through open fields and forests to take the herd of reindeer to new pastures. Nilas, though willing, was getting too old for the hike. It was Isa’s task now while Nilas looked after the house and diner. Isa thought he would have no one but his dog Unni and the deer for company when Lea announced that he had been given permission to go with him. It had taken every ounce of self-control for Isa not to shout his happiness in front of everyone by the table and fight the urge to bring Lea into a tight embrace. The look in Nilas’ eyes at hearing the announcement made it clear he was in trouble. Isa decided in that moment that no corporal punishment was to lessen his happiness for the summer that lay ahead. If he were to stay friends with Lea, he would have to disregard their differences and celebrate the positive feelings they both inspired in each other.

     On the day of departure, both Nilas and Isa’s mother were up early, fixing and preparing things for the diner. Nilas had given Isa a list of things he had to do aside from keeping an eye on the deer. There was also a separate list for where to put the bags of bark Isa wouldn’t be able to carry on his journey. The tension between Nilas and Isa’s mother had been more insufferable as of late. They didn’t argue for the whole forest to hear anymore. They snapped at each other in silence, putting the discussion on pause whenever they saw Isa nearby. A couple of weeks away from them would be heaven.

     “Isa?” said his mother sternly from where she stood in the doorway. She watched Isa look through his backpack one last time to make sure he had everything he needed with him.

     “Mm?”

     “I packed a small Bible for you. It’s in the outer pocket of your backpack. You know that you shouldn’t be praying to whatever it is your grandfather prays to; you know that by now,” she smiled solemnly. “And remember that God sees _everything_ you do. Knows every thought.”

     “Yes, mother.”

    Mrs. Ferris had the habit of saying the same thing to Lea, but when she said it, it seemed more of a chore. Isa’s mother looked at him as if there was something she knew about him that was too despicable for words, and so she put her faith in the God she talked about so much and hoped His power would be enough to save Isa from whatever sin she thought he was committing. It had always managed to make Isa feel guilty even when he was certain that he had done nothing wrong.

     “Do not forget to be decent. Hands always outside the sleeping bag.” She waited for Isa to look up at her again before she finished. “He’s a merchant’s son, Isa. Don’t forget that for a minute.”

     Isa’s stomach turned with the disdain in his mother’s voice and the warning glare she shot him before she walked back into the diner. The nagging thought that his mother was accusing him of something in particular was one he couldn’t let go. He left his backpack and hurried after his mother, his heart beating fast for reasons that seemed to stretch beyond confusion.

     “What are you trying to say?” Isa asked as calmly as he could. “What are you accusing me of?”

    “Don’t play the fool with me. It may work with your grandfather. He is blinded by the idea of making you his heir, but I’m not blind, Isa. And you are walking a dangerous path. One that may lead to hanging.”

    “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Isa’s voice betrayed him. The bruises on his knuckles ached, tattling about a specific kind of guilt that he was certain he had kept under lock and key, far away for anyone to see.

    “It’s nothing short of disgusting, Isa, the way you make eyes at him. Have you no shame? And now you’ve convinced him to go with you on some camping trip. For what purpose, can you tell me that? You can lie until your tongue turns black, but God sees through your lies and he will have the earth split and have you cast to Hell for your dirty doings!”

    There was a glass jar on the counter next to Isa. He grabbed a hold of it, breathing hard, gripping it tightly with the intention of throwing it at his mother, to silence her and keep her from ever talking to him like this again. She saw him as nothing but a savage; an animal that couldn’t be tamed or expected to behave amongst humans. The glass jar shattered by his mother’s feet. He couldn’t recall hurling it, only that he momentarily wished he had had the courage to throw it in her face and not the floor.

-x-

Lea found Isa standing outside by the well when he came walking down the small path from the bridge. Isa had left his mother tending to the shards of glass while he steeled himself against poisonous thoughts. Isa was certain that his mother saw demons reflected in others that were solely in her and no one else. Nilas had told Isa bits and pieces about his mother. The rest Isa had figured out for himself. She had gotten pregnant when having an affair with a man neither Nilas nor Isa knew. She left Isa with Nilas to be raised while she lived the lavish life she had always sought after in Radiant Garden.

    _I’m nothing like her_ , Isa thought angrily.

    “Good morning!” Lea greeted from a distance and waved. “Sorry I’m late, my mom wanted to wrap me in paddings so that I could be dropped from the top of a mountain and land unscathed. Where’s the herd?”

    “Unni has rounded them up in the glade up that way,” Isa said and pointed into the forest. The sun had barely risen, and the few beams of sunlight made it seem as though Lea’s hair was made of flames.

    “Is she named after your grandad?” Lea asked as Isa picked up his bag and nearly dropped it back onto the ground again when he burst out laughing.

    “It’s Unni not Svonni! Unni means ‘tiny’,” Isa explained between laughter as he imagined the face his grandad would make had Lea asked that question in his presence.

    “But she’s huge,” Lea smiled. “She could wrestle a bear.”

    “She couldn’t,” Isa said and wiped the corners of his eyes.

    “She wrestled me down.”

    “But you’re hardly a bear, are you?” Isa laughed again.

    The argument with his mother, her accusations, they all fell to the back of Isa’s mind as he walked with Lea up to the glade where Unni was keeping a close eye on the deer. It was a strange effect Lea had on him, one most friends would have on a person, Isa imagined. With Lea being his only friend, he found it hard to put into words what this effect, what Lea’s friendship, meant to him. The same could be true for his mother, Isa realized. Someone like her must surely find it difficult to make friends, so difficult that she wouldn’t recognize friendship should she see one.

    They found the deer and were greeted by Unni. They had to go west of the mountain to get to the Woodcreak Hills. Isa knew the path by heart. Nilas had taken him along every year since Isa was three to make sure that the forest was as known to Isa as the back of his hand. In the midst of planning and excitement for the trip, Isa had forgotten that this was Lea’s first time this far away from home in an environment that was still foreign to him. It struck him when Lea started to pull on the straps of his heavy backpack when they walked up a small hill a couple of hours later.

    “You didn’t bring more than necessary, did you?” Isa asked at last when Lea stopped to catch his breath and shake his legs.

    “I don’t know.” Lea made a face. “When I woke up this morning I saw my mom and my sister poke around my stuff and they may very well have put half of our pantry in here.”

    “You wanna switch?” Isa offered.

    “Yeah, okay.”

    They stopped to switch backpacks. Isa was prepared to lift something heavier than his own backpack and almost ended up hitting himself in the face when he lifted it up to throw it over his shoulder. Lea looked horrified as he had to struggle to pull the new backpack over his shoulder and make believe that he had lifted it as effortlessly as Isa had done with his.

    “You carrying an extra dog in here?” Lea asked.

    Isa snickered and walked on forward.

    “You just have to make it to the end of the forest, Lea. You can do it.”

    The road led to an open grass field where the deer spread around to eat. The mountain looked bigger from this side. The snowy top was hidden behind clouds. Isa had already decided on a spot to pitch the tent when Lea walked up behind him, breathing heavily and dropped the backpack to his side before he flopped down beside it.

    “You did that on purpose,” Lea said and glanced at Isa from where he lay.

    “I did no such thing. Get up. We have to get the tent up and dig a hole for the fire.” Isa tried to hold back a smile at seeing Lea out of breath after a walk that was nothing compared to all the walking they would do over the summer.

    “Can’t we just sleep under the stars and enjoy nature for what it truly is?” Lea asked, his tired voice full of hope.

    “The earth will suck the heat right out of you if you fall asleep on it, and nights out here are ruthless with wind, frost and sometimes rain from clear skies. Go get firewood and make sure it’s dry. Get some dry leaves and some Old Man’s Beard while you’re at it.”

    “What a taskmaster you turned out to be,” Lea mumbled and got onto his feet, mumbling still as he went on his way.

    A couple of hours later, they sat on seat cushions for camping by the fire that Isa had set. The tent stood firm on the ground and they had both already laid out their sleeping bags next to each other. The sky was clear and the first stars started to appear. Lea was munching on his third chicken hot dog, which was one of the surprises his mother had packed for him.

    “You sure you don’t want another one? You haven’t eaten much,” Lea looked at Isa.

    “Food is for fuel, not to overeat.”

    “You’ve ever had a strawberry shortcake?” Lea challenged as he took another bite of his hot dog.

    “Yeah, I’ve had strawberry shortcake. You brought one for my last birthday. And for _áddjá's_ birthday.”

    “That wasn’t for fuel though, was it?” Lea was smug.

    “We were celebrating birthdays,” Isa smiled. “I wasn’t making fun, by the way. It’s your first long hike. It’s only natural that you’re hungry. But when nature calls, make sure you go over to the trench by the forest and not right outside the tent.”

    “Why, is that a rookie mistake?”

    “More like a mistake I was expecting you to make had I said nothing. I’m pretty sure you’ll be knocked out after that little feast and too tired to think when it’s time. Now you have no excuses.”

    “This hike is really bringing out your true colors, Isa. I would’ve never guessed I’d get to be fourteen years old and be told where to shit.”

    Isa laughed until his belly ached.

    The sun set slowly, a strip of light in the horizon revealing that it wasn’t all set, only stuck in twilight. It was beautiful to watch with the dark night sky above them as contrast. The lack of light and the open space revealed more stars than anyone could ever count, and before Isa declared that it was time for bed, they decided to stargaze for a while.

    “How many stars are born on one night do you think?” Lea asked mesmerized, his hands behind his head.

    “I don’t know. None of these are particularly new, I think. They become more apparent without light pollution.”

    “There isn’t much light at night where you live and the night sky has never looked as crowded as it is now. I think that Augustus would literally shit himself if he saw this.”

    “You’re not gonna show him, are you?” Isa asked worriedly.

    “I didn’t plan on it. Why?”

    “I’m gonna beat him to it. I’m gonna prove the existence of extraterrestrial life before he does, but if I’m gonna have a chance, you can’t tell him about this.”

    Lea turned his attention from the sky to Isa.

    “Do you even believe in aliens?”

    “Absolutely,” Isa said with certainty.

    “Since when?” Lea chuckled.

    “This is not the first time I’ve gone on this hike, so I’ve seen these stars before, and my grandad has told me countless of stories of visitors from other worlds. Most are legends, but there is one he swears happened, and he knows it because he was there.”

    “Let’s hear it,” Lea said and got comfortable, eyes set back on the sky.

    “Promise you won’t tell Augustus,” Isa said first.

    “If it’s a legend, he’ll read about it in a book.”

    “Impossible. This is a story only told amongst my people, from one generation to another.”

    “I gave you four books that described your traditions in detail. I think your legends might have been written down, too, Isa.”

    “Lea! Do you or do you not promise?”

    “Alright, I promise. Augustus will not hear this legend from me.”

    “Good.”

    “Now, let’s hear it before the earth steals all our body heat.”

    Isa got comfortable, too, and looked up at the sky as he sighed softly.

    “ _Áddjá_ was about our age when a strange visitor came to the Elders.”

    “Strange how?” Lea interrupted.

    “Just strange.”

    “Yeah, but strange as in he had two heads, strange as in his eyes were too far apart, strange as in he levitated instead of walked? It’s an important detail.”

    “Strange as in unknown, alright?” Isa sighed.

    “There’s a play that goes by that name. The Unknown.”

    “Lea!”

    Lea laughed.

    “Sorry. Isa, I’m sorry.” He pulled on Isa’s crossed arms. “Tell the story. I won’t interrupt.”

    “Anyway,” Isa continued. “This strange visitor was said to be fallen out of the sky. He told our Elders that he had turned a powerful friend into an enemy and that he needed lodging in a place where he could find peace for his troubled soul. In return, he would work alongside them and told them that he was an excellent warlock. He didn’t even need sacrifices. The Elders conferred with the tribes and they all accepted to take this stranger in. Everyone was apprehensive at first, but the stranger turned out to be quite an asset. For not long after, the King sent orders for an extermination should the Elders not allow missionaries into our tribes. The Elders refused and a battle ensued. _Áddjá_ was certain that they would all meet their end there, but the stranger summoned a weapon out of thin air; a giant black and white key–”

    Lea burst out laughing.

    “You were doing so well,” Lea wheezed. “Of all the things he could summon, you choose a key? Was he going to fight or unlock doors? Isa…” Lea held his arms around himself as he kicked about with his feet in the air and laughed harder.

    “Well, that’s the whole point of the story. It was a weapon _áddjá_ had never seen before, nor had anyone else for that matter. The stranger used it to fight off the soldiers, and it was as though he was possessed by the gods themselves. He saved the tribes from being slaughtered by using a giant, magical key, _and_ he fell from the sky. He must have been an alien with technology that far surpasses what we have here, and I’m going to prove it before Augustus gets the chance.”

    “You know,” Lea began with a sigh. “Have you ever thought about going to school? You can obviously read and write, and I could definitely lend you some books on the matter if you’re really interested, but I think that you’d get much more out of it if you just went to school and listened to what the teachers have to say. Unless you want to reinvent the wheel.”

    “What, like go to school in the city?”

    “Why not?”

    “What do you mean ‘why not’? What would _áddjá_ say? I can’t just get up and leave him with all of the deer and the chores at home.” Isa’s hands went cold just thinking about leaving home.

    “The way I see it, you could always help out after school, or ask your mother to help around the house during the semesters. And during breaks, like summer break. You can go out on this hike with the deer so that your grandad doesn’t have to, and, I don’t know, expand your horizons and beat Augustus. I’m all for that.” Lea looked at Isa and watched him chew on his lower lip nervously. “It’s not like I’m saying ‘do it now right this minute’. Think about it. We still have some hiking to do, and should you make a decision… I’d be glad to have a conversation with my dad… about you and school…”

    Isa looked back at Lea in wonder.

    “You’re gonna think about it?” Lea asked.

    Isa nodded, afraid that saying it out loud would count as an instant betrayal.

    “Great. Let’s get in the tent. I’m getting what you said about the earth. I think my body temperature dropped by ten degrees.”

    “You’d be hypothermic,” Isa said, a small smile playing on his lips.

    Soon it was time for bed. They put all leftovers and trash in a bag that Isa hung on a tree, far from their camp to keep the bears and wolves away. Unni sat guard outside the tent with a good view of the deer and further away from the smolders of the remaining fire.

    The forest came alive at night. The insects sang louder than any birds during the day. The trunks creaked in the wind. Wolves howled in the distance. Taller straws of grass brushed against the sides of the tent and cast ominous shadows in the dim moonlight. To Isa it was all a comforting lullaby he had known since a small child, but to Lea every unknown sound was a horror story waiting to happen. It was late at night when Isa was woken up by Lea entwining his cold fingers around Isa’s to hold his hand tightly.

    “Are you alright?” Isa mumbled sleepily.

    “Yeah. I’m… just getting used to this…” Lea spoke in a whisper, his voice thick with fear and uncertainty. Isa inched in closer, not once letting go of Lea’s hand. To think that they had been strangers once with nothing in the world to bind them together. It had occurred to Isa to call their meeting a ‘strike of luck’ but thought of the blasphemous implications that would have, but then again, no god, be it the gods of the old or new, had answered his prayers, and now, as he spoke with Lea, it was as though he had made contact with the divine and lay now veiled in its mercy.

    “Were you punished?” Lea asked as he ran his thumb across Isa’s knuckles. Isa didn’t have to answer. Lea took a deep breath and kept staring up, shivering at the noises outside. “I don’t like that he punishes you like this.”

    Isa didn’t say anything. He was already aware of what Lea thought of corporal punishment, but Lea didn’t know that this had been worth it. Nilas had been upset by the length Lea was willing to go to be around, but even more upset with Isa for encouraging a foreigner to be amongst them.

    “There’s a legendary chant I was taught to keep evil away,” Isa said after a moment of silence. He watched Lea’s silhouette and saw him look around to try to identify every little sound he heard.

    “From the warlock with the key?”

    They both chuckled. Isa drew a deep breath, his own hand trembling slightly in Lea’s clammy grip.

    “No, this goes way back. When forest spirits ruled the world and furthered Beaivi’s will. Ready?” Isa paused, thinking his mouth would go dry, but the words rolled off his tongue as naturally as a greeting. “ _Mon ráhkistan du._ ”

    “Sounds great,” Lea smiled. “Say it again to be extra sure.”

    “ _Mon ráhkistan du._ ”

    It was the first time Isa ever uttered those words and his heart fluttered at hearing himself say it to someone he thought would be the only one to ever be at the receiving end of it.


	7. The Peculiar Murder in Sector Seven

* * *

Present

* * *

The police station was barely a year old. Leon had worked with Cid day and night to create a worthy police station. There were three computers in total distributed amongst twenty workers. All three of them were connected to the main computer in Ansem’s old laboratory out by the bailey. They had chosen Ansem’s laboratory as headquarters for intelligence gathering for its strategic place. It was far enough from the city and the police station to keep unwanted visitors away, but still close enough to get to quickly. Despite their efforts, the police station was coming in short. Their official list of missing persons grew each day. Relatives and friends of missing persons came in at all hours to get updates on the search for their loved ones, refusing to give up hope.

    The lack of housing and work was making people desperate, and it showed in the constantly rising crime rate. Smaller crimes, such as petty theft, went by unpunished. Other criminals, like those who had made themselves guilty of violent crimes of lesser degree, were turned into workforce to finish the houses for the Returnees. Then there were the other more gruesome crimes for which there was no forgiveness for, not in Leon’s eyes at least. Those criminals had to be incarcerated indefinitely while they waited for a trial that would surely never come. There was an embarrassing shortage of educated staff within the law enforcement. Education took time that they didn’t have. A few judges from before Radiant Garden’s first fall were still around, but not nearly enough to teach young people of the laws of their city, which in turn meant that there were very few knowledgeable lawyers. Their prisoners had no one to represent them in court and a fair trial could not be guaranteed.

    Leon had been appointed Superintendent right before the Organization’s second strike on Radiant Garden. He had seen himself capable of running a tight ship, but he hadn’t counted on the fast and unexpected changes taking place, and now he could do nothing but roll with the punches.

    “Claire!” Leon walked out of his office and put on his jacket as he walked past officer Claire’s desk. She was a newcomer, fresh out of a three-month educational programme for applicants to the police force.

    “Yes, sir!” She grabbed a file she had prepared on her desk and hurried after Leon to brief him on the latest murder case. “The victim is male. Name: Fredrick Thyne. Thirty-two years old, father of one, unmarried, but had a girlfriend. Not the child’s mother. Returned to Radiant Garden two months ago and was claimed by a great-aunt who died by natural causes three weeks ago. According to the girlfriend, he kept mostly to himself and stayed out of squabbles in their neighborhood.”

    “There were squabbles?” Leon asked.

    “Seems like it. The area he lives in is one of the most vulnerable in terms of unfinished buildings. There were a lot of issues with assigning the Returnees lots in that area and it seems like problems escalated when one of the neighbors started to finish their own house with material that the neighbors suspect to be stolen. Also, he seemed to be quite religious.”

    “Great. Prepare the autopsy room and call for Ienzo.”

    “Yes, sir!”

-x-

The outskirts of the city were a maze of unfinished and slowly deteriorating houses, built close together that gradually crept closer into the city of Radiant Garden. To keep track of it all, the shanty towns had to be divided into sectors. Sector Seven was quickly climbing the top list of worst committed crimes, and trips there had become commonplace for Cloud. The smell was the first sign that he was leaving the comforts of what he knew as home. There had been no time for plumbing before they started building the houses. Portable toilets had been put near the neighborhood and gutters had been dug out alongside the roads. What once had been five households sharing four portable toilets soon grew to eight, ten and now there were twenty-six households. There had been no choice but to dig latrines.

    A well had been dug out between three sectors. It had been enough at first, but as time went on, they had to move the well three times to get to the subsoil water. Now they had to have two patrolling police officers near the well at all times to stop fights from breaking out when it seemed that the water supply would run low.

    Cloud walked around the bottom floor of the small, incomplete house. The rain pattered against the imported plastic roof and wall, leaking in through holes. He had sealed off the area. He could see the multitude of people who had gathered outside, speculating amongst themselves as they tried to catch a glimpse of whatever had transpired.

    Leon slipped inside, making sure that no one saw the body that lay just ahead of the entrance.

    “Sorry for keeping you waiting. The coach got stuck in the mud, I had to walk the last bit. What do we got?” Leon put on gloves and circled the body with a deep frown.

    “A clean shot to the head.”

    “Nothing else?” Leon kneeled to inspect the open wound on the man’s forehead closer.

    “No other physical trauma from what I can see. He still has money on him, nothing’s missing according to the girlfriend, so we can rule out robbery. This was an execution.”

    “Shit. How the hell does a gun end up here?”

    “It doesn’t. All guns that’ve made it to Radiant Garden have been accounted for.”

    “So what are you saying? That one of our own did this?”

    “Corruption comes from the top,” Cloud said with a shrug. “I’ve been asking around for some information. Most are unwilling to say anything. A couple of them claimed they had seen Xehanort do it. But that body is buried, so… I got a few witnesses who said that they heard ‘something weird’ around three in the morning. A kid said it sounded like an egg exploding in a pot with a lid.”

    “What the hell does that sound like?”

    “Like a gun with a silencer.”

    “Great,” Leon sighed. “We’ll pack him up to go. Get the bag.”

-x-

Ienzo, Radiant Garden’s most skillful physician and surgeon, was one of the many former Organization-members that had received a protected position due to his skills and knowledge. He looked barely twenty. He had been made part of a criminal organization at the tender age of nine. His psychological development was shrouded in mystery. The bureaucrats in the ballroom had yet to find useful information on him. All they knew was that he had been a master of illusions and highly intelligent for his age, but nothing on his origins. Few of Xehanort’s lackeys had proper origins.

    Leon and Cloud walked up to the autopsy table where Ienzo had just finished patching up the murder victim from earlier today. Ienzo treated his patients with utmost care and gentleness whether they were dead or alive. It bordered on psychotic, in Leon’s opinion. There was just something macabre about the way Ienzo pushed the needle through a dead man’s skin, as if he didn’t want it to hurt any more than it had to.

    “What do you have for us?” Leon asked as Ienzo cut the thread between the large needle and the man.

    “A malnourished man with a twisted ankle, a fractured pinky and a fascination with the occult,” Ienzo said and smiled politely when both Leon and Cloud glared at him. “The exit wound is here on his neck, right underneath his jaw. The bullet is a nine millimeter, standard for the guns used in Radiant Garden. I recovered and analyzed the bullet. I just have to match it with the right gun.”

    “How many guns do we have?” Leon turned to Cloud.

    “Ninety-four. Fifty in rotation. Forty of them are held by the security police.”

    Ienzo glared at both of them when they both nodded in simultaneous realization. Not much was known about what kind of camaraderie the Organization-members had, only that Ienzo was quite protective of a few.

    “The correction facility,” Leon said with certainty.

    “Before you jump to conclusions, there are other things you should know,” Ienzo said, coldly.

    “Like?” Cloud asked.

    “Fredrick tried to scratch his attacker. There were traces of black matter under his fingernails. I don’t know if you noticed when you fetched him, but he had a very distinct smell. It might have been a consequence from living in the slums, but I find it peculiar because of the black matter.”

    “What did he smell like?” Leon quickly glanced at Fredrick and whiffed in the air discreetly.

    “Sulfur.”

    “Are you sure?” Cloud looked at Fredrick and then back at Ienzo.

    “My memory isn’t what it once was, but that was sulfur and far too familiar for my own liking,” Ienzo said.

    “Any reports on sightings in Sector Seven?” Cloud asked Leon.

    “No. We got a report from the shelter yesterday though. What, you think a Heartless with great gunmanship got a hold of a gun and shot Fredrick point blank, leaving his heart intact?” Leon scoffed.

    “I’m thinking that someone who just got out of one of those dark portals shot Fredrick point blank. Don’t we know of someone surrounded by forty armed guards, with opportunity and skill to grab a gun, and use a dark portal? We might even have our motive, too,” Cloud said.

    “We do?”

    “Sure. The dead guy smelled like sulfur. It could’ve been enhanced by the dark portal, point is that he still smelled like it when he got here, and that black stuff isn’t nearly enough to give off that much smell. Meaning,” Cloud paused to let Leon put the final pieces of the puzzle together.

    “Fredrick was a former Nobody. At the top of the food chain, maybe? Shit. So, what? How the hell does he end up on Xehanort’s hitlist?”

    “The Keyblade-wielders have gotten involved, haven’t they? They’re trying to get Saïx to talk, to spill stuff Cid hasn’t managed to get out of him. Sixty gil say Fredrick here knew something our guy didn’t want to come out. It’s a lead, at least.”

    “Yeah.” Leon looked back at Ienzo. It was clear that the young man did not like where their conclusions were pointing.

    Ienzo had set himself up for disappointment the second he forgot that ‘Saïx’ had been the one to endure Xehanort’s possession the longest. It was only a matter of time before he fell back into old habits. At least, that’s what Leon hoped was behind the sullen look on Ienzo’s face. There was also a possibility that all former Organization-members were in on this, in which case, they could jeopardize the security of everyone in Radiant Garden.

    Leon and Cloud were on their way out of the autopsy room when Ienzo spoke to stop them from leaving.

    “Superintendent, might I suggest you keep an extra eye on the water supply. I fear it might be more vulnerable than the security at the correctional facility and in much dire need of your attention and supervision.”

    “Why?” Leon nearly barked at what seemed like a threat. “You think the killer’s gonna poison the water? On what grounds?”

    “This won’t be the gunman’s doing, Superintendent. I’m talking about a more vicious murderer that cannot be seen.” Ienzo smiled politely as his two superiors approached him with fury in their eyes. “It’s been known by many names; most famously known as a vicious Horseman. As a scientist, I know it better as Cholera.”

-x-

Five former members of Organization XIII had been registered amongst the Returnees. Xemnas had been struck from the list with Xehanort’s demise and Terra’s suicide. The others with records of a past in Radiant Garden were listed as missing and wanted persons. To enhance the chances of finding them and holding them responsible for their crimes they were on a priority list shared with other worlds, but not with the public. No one outside the Restoration Committee and the Keyblade-wielders knew that there were former Organization-members in high positions working for their closest thing to a government. Given the circumstances, the populace would riot if they knew, and a riot would only worsen the situation.

    Leon and Cloud had gone through the files and reports on all five former members of Organization XIII to learn about their whereabouts at the time of the murder. It was in their investigation that they realized that there wasn’t a camera installed in Saïx’s cell. Dr. Even had filed a petition for Saïx’s privacy to avoid paranoia and seclusion to easier help Saïx open up to him and share his feelings on everything that had happened up until now. His cell had been free of surveillance for two weeks. They hadn’t gotten any new information on Saïx, just more murder cases. It was frustrating to know that the safety of criminals was prioritized over justice, and agonizing to admit that they couldn’t blame anyone else but themselves. They made those decisions.

    The world Xehanort had left behind was not one they knew how to deal with. There was no immediate enemy to fight in grand battles anymore, not like they were used to. The battles they had to fight now were completely different. Budget plans, preventive strategies, intel gathering; they were rebuilding a world in hopes of making it better than it once had been. But as it was now, it was much easier to romanticize King Ansem’s era when Radiant Garden seemed to constantly prosper.

    “How do we deal with this?” Leon asked tiredly and tossed the file in his hand onto his desk. He looked over at Cloud who leaned back in his chair, his feet on the corner of his desk. Cloud hadn’t gone home for at least two days and it was starting to show.

    “What do you mean?”

    “The Xehanort vessel is technically out of our reach. He belongs to the Keyblade-wielders now.”

    “If he’s murdered one of ours, it doesn’t matter who he belongs to,” Cloud said.

    “You should go home and sleep.”

    “I’m fine.”

    “If he’s murdered one of ours’,” Leon repeated mockingly. “We have Saïx behind bars because he almost leveled what was left of Radiant Garden to the ground. He’s killed countless of ours, and yet, he was handed over to the Keyblade-wielders. One more dead body to add to the pile won’t magically change that. You’d know that if you had bothered to sleep. Doesn’t it piss Tifa off that you’re here all the time?”

    “I wouldn’t know,” Cloud mumbled and reached for another file. “We should go down there and work on our diplomacy skills.”

    “How?”

    “Bargaining. That’s what all good diplomats do, right?”

    “What do we bargain for? We’ve cut deals with the Keyblade-wielders already. They have free access to everything we have.”

    “Not everything,” Cloud said smugly. “Who’s the chaperone? It’s the redhead, right? Lea? I say we get a little personal. We get Saïx, he gets a talk with Ienzo. Who knows? Ienzo could help them along with their project at the Land of Departure?”

    “That’s good. It could work. Let’s go. But after we’re done, you’re going home. Tifa won’t wait around forever.”

    They rose from their seats to hurry to the correctional facility in hopes to cast a light on this case, but were stopped as they were about to leave.

    “Superintendent Leon!” Claire called and ran up to them. “Regarding the murder on Fredrick Thyne, there is a woman in hearing room three who says that a certain Rebecca, Fredrick’s girlfriend, is missing.”

    Leon took the notepad Claire held out for him to read the form the woman had filled in.

    “Since when?”

    “Since last night, sir.”

    “Alright, I’ll be there in a second. Cloud, go home. We’ll meet by the correctional facility tomorrow morning at eight.”

    “Fine, whatever.”

    Leon hurried to hearing room three and closed the door after him gently when he heard the woman sitting with her back against him sob. He sat down across from her and put the clipboard on the desk.

    “You didn’t sign your name on the form,” Leon began. “Why?”

    The woman looked up at Leon slowly, her lower lip still quivering. She was pale. Her tears had left streaks of dirt on her sullen face. She brushed her short, blond hair back nervously.

    “Rebecca called me Lynn.”

    “Miss Lynn,” Leon scribbled her name onto the form. “Do you have a last name?”

    She shook her head.

    “I heard that the police think that Rebecca was Mr. Thyne’s girlfriend, but that’s not true. Rebecca was a lady of the night. She happened to be there the night he was killed, and now she’s gone.”

    Leon sighed. They had managed to break two prostitution rings in Sector Seven in about as many months, but these people regrouped faster than his SWAT-team.

    “And you think it’s connected with the murder?”

    “I’m sure of it. Rebecca would never leave without saying anything. She’s been acting weird since that night. Scared, frightened. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and she didn’t trust the police to protect her. I think… I think she thought the murderer was after her, not Mr. Thyne.”

    “Why would that be, Miss Lynn? Do you know?”

    “No. Mr. Thyne tried to get Rebecca into religion. He said it would save her. After meeting him the first time, Rebecca said it wasn’t for her and – she was scared. She told me that the walls in his house bleed black. Rebecca always told us to stay away from the dark, and… and now she’s gone.” Lynn sobbed harder and hid behind her hands.

    Leon leaned back into his seat, but not before he pressed a small button underneath the desk to call for Claire. He wasn’t good at dealing with people crying, especially when he was working on three hours sleep. He tried to ask her about the walls ‘bleeding black’, but he could hardly make out what she was saying.

    A case like this would usually end up at the bottom of the pile, but its connections with the murder case and the possibility that there might be sightings of Heartless going by unreported made this case worthy of an immediate investigation.

   Once Claire had comforted Lynn to the best of her abilities, Lynn was led out of the hearing room and to the reception where Leon stood by the printer, waiting for some documents Cid had sent over. He caught her looking at him from across the room, and that moment would be known to him as the first time he took notice of her as a person and not as yet another case to solve.

 


	8. The Privileged Few

* * *

Mrs. Ferris’ coffee shop was modern and well-loved by its customers. With a state of the art coffee grinder, they could supply their customers with whatever struck their fancy. The shop was near the Royal Library, a short walk from Lea’s home. The smell of coffee surpassed it. Freshly ground and roasted coffee beans layered in chocolate. It was the smell of cozy and warm Friday nights at Lea’s house. The servants had retired for their monthly weekend off. Every such weekend, Mrs. Ferris would invite Isa to join her, Lea and Eve in the kitchen to cook for supper. Mrs. Ferris would grind coffee and Isa would sigh contently. He enjoyed the aromatic smell, but had yet to learn to enjoy the taste. From the second they opened until closing hours, there were always customers around the shop, ready to spend large amounts of money on bitter beans.

    The bell by the door rang softly when Lea ran inside, just barely dodging the sacks full of different coffee beans, strategically placed on the open space. He stopped by the counter and rang the bell repeatedly.

    “What?” Eve barked from the back room and hurried out to see what the emergency was and her face faltered when she saw her older brother. She snatched the bell from under his hand.

    “Where’s mom?” Lea asked, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

    “Busy,” Eve said with a shrug.

    “Mom!” Lea yelled straight out, on the top of his lungs. Eve put her hands over her ears and glared at Lea before shoving him aside.

    Lea and Eve quarreled a lot. They disagreed on almost everything they ever talked about, and both competed for their parents' attention. Isa would have said that there was genuine dislike between the two, but they joined forces when they saw it fit. Should anyone speak to them the way they spoke to each other, there would be war. Lea had told Isa that though they fought a lot, Eve was his sister and he would commit murder in cold blood should it be needed to protect her. Isa believed him.

    “What is this ruckus?” Mrs. Ferris walked out of the storage room and saw her two children squabbling. “Behave, the both of you!” She barely had to raise her voice for Eve and Lea to stand apart. Isa held back a smile. Shame was such a rare emotion to see reflected in Lea’s face. Only his mother could have him look down on the floor, his shoulders hunched in regret. It only lasted for a few seconds and was mostly for show. Lea hurried up to his mother, the excited smile on his face holding no trace of the previous display of regret.

    “Did you get the letter? Huh? Mom? Did you get it? Dad told me he talked to the principal so you must’ve gotten it!”

    “Lea, calm down,” Mrs. Ferris said gently, but smiled at her son as she pulled the letter out from the front pocket of her apron. “Isa, come on over here. This concerns you more than anyone.”

    Isa approached them shyly, hiding his hands behind his back. His heart was beating fast and he was as scared as he was excited. On arriving home from the long hike with the herd of deer, Isa had told Lea that he wanted to go to school. The deal was that Isa would talk to Nilas about it and Lea would get his father to convince the School Board and the principal of the Royal Academy to let Isa do the entrance exam as a way to assess his level of knowledge and find a private tutor for Isa while he attended regular classes. Lea had kept his end of the bargain. A decision had been made by the School Board, but Isa had yet to breathe a word about his plans to his grandfather.

    “The Board Members of the Royal Academy and Principal John Greyer are happy to welcome you, Isa Svonni, to our school for this coming semester–” Mrs. Ferris smiled when Lea gave a shout of victory and put his arm around Isa’s shoulder to give him a quick shake.

    “I’m in?” Isa asked, his knees about to give out.

    “You’re in!” Lea jumped with glee. “You’re in! And you’re gonna do the exam! And we’re gonna be in the same class and we are going to show ‘em all what extraterrestrials are all about!”

    “Ugh, God, you’re embarrassing,” Eve rolled her eyes in an identical manner Lea did whenever Augustus started to rant about astronomy.

    “We do not use His name in vain, Eve,” Mrs. Ferris quickly corrected her daughter.

    “It was called for,” Eve said and pointed at Lea who had amped-up his jumping to a weird dance of provocation to further anger his sister.

    “Is that how you want Madeleine to see you, Lea?” Mrs. Ferris asked and Lea stopped immediately, his eyes big and round.

    “She’s here?”

    “She’ll be here any minute now, so behave.”

    Madeleine worked part-time at Mrs. Ferris’ coffee shop. She said it was because it would look good on her application to the Royal Academy and because it was good experience for someone who wanted to work with politics of commerce, but the faint blush on her cheeks when she had said it, and her quick glances at Lea who was too preoccupied hiding his own blush to notice, made Isa think that Madeleine had additional reasons to want to work at the coffee shop. Madeleine was gracious and kind, and also ambitious, even more than Augustus. She was good at studying and was always on time with her assignments, or at least, that’s what Lea said when he went on about how he wanted Madeleine as his tutor for this semester again.

    Isa went home that day with the letter of acceptance tucked inside his belt. As soon as he had crossed the bridge and walked into the forest, he began to drag his feet after himself as he tried to think of a strategy. Lea thought that Isa had already talked to Nilas, that it was a hurdle already taken care of; it had made it impossible for Isa to ask Lea for advice. Isa could barely think of worst case scenarios. His mind was blocked with fear and guilt for even considering leaving the safety of his home and his grandfather behind.

    The schedule would require Isa to stay in the city during weekdays and come back home for the weekends. Lea had already resolved that, too. There were three guest rooms available at his estate and Mrs. Ferris had been oddly enthusiastic with the idea of having Isa stay with them. With not much else to choose from, Isa had thanked Mrs. Ferris for her and her husband's’ hospitality and agreed to live with them should he survive telling Nilas the news.

    “ _Áddjá_?” Isa called as he stepped into the foyer.

    “ _Dappé_ ,” Nilas called back from behind the counter where he was sorting out small bags of bark and putting price tags on them. “ _Háledat go don guhppáriid?_ ”

    Nilas would always offer Isa food when he got home. “Our culture lives in what we eat,” he’d say and serve Isa a plate whether he had said yes or no. The particular dish Nilas had offered Isa now was one Lea referred to as ‘potato dumplings.” Lea had gladly eaten the dish when it was offered to him all the while joking about its contents. It had been fun and games until Nilas finally told him what the dish consisted of. Lea only needed to hear ‘reindeer blood’ once to never want to eat it again.

    “ _Ii_ ,” Isa said and shook his head. “ _Áddjá_ , I need to talk to you about something. It’s important.”

    Isa sat down by the counter, fidgeting and clearing his throat nervously. His arms felt light and his toes cold. Nilas looked back at Isa tiredly. Every word that Isa said that wasn’t in Sami was a dark reminder of a battle Nilas had lost to Melanie.

    A lump of tears was already forming in the back of Isa’s throat and his bottom lip quivered slightly as he gathered all of his courage.

    “ _Áddjá_ , I want to go to school, and… I think there’s a way I might be able to achieve that. I’ve got it all planned out so that I can still do my chores and help you around the house. O-on weekdays I’ll stay in the city and I’ll come home for the weekend and during summer break I’ll take the herd to the pastures.” Isa cleared his throat again. “Mom can help out, too. She’s around every other week. It won’t be for long.”

    The disappointment was crystal clear in Nilas’s light blue eyes. He rubbed his beard and had his hand fall back to scratch his head. The attention he had been giving the bags were all gone. It took him a couple of seconds to reply, and when he did, his voice broke slightly.

    “ _Mon in liiko dasa, Isa._ ”

    It wasn’t a stubborn ‘no’, there wasn’t even the slightest hint of anger. Nilas rubbed his eyes quickly and looked down on the bags, deciding that it wasn’t time for them yet. He stepped away and walked out of the room slowly. Isa looked after him. His heart ached. Nilas had never given up so easily, and at this moment, Isa would have preferred to be yelled at rather than ignored.

    Isa ran after Nilas. He threw his arms around his grandfather's waist and buried his face against his back.

    “I’ll come back, _áddjá_. I promise. I know where my place is, and it’s here. So, please, _áddjá_ , don’t give up on me. Be angry at me if you have to, yell, but please, don’t ignore me.”

    Isa sobbed quietly, afraid that his grandfather would just walk away and immerse himself in work. It had happened before, and Nilas’ silence was a hundred times worse than any bruised knuckles.

    Nilas placed his hands above Isa’s softly and patted him as he nodded.

    “I will wait.”

-x-

Every night, an hour before bed, Isa opened his window and looked at the night sky to get well acquainted with it and to find all the figures depicted in the books Lea had lent him. Some nights he saw a star fall and he made a note of it in his log book. Most stars that fell followed a certain pattern; there was a point of entry, a predictable arch and usually it evaporated before it could hit ground, quietly and soundlessly. On four occasions, however, Isa had taken notes of stars that broke the pattern; there was a point of entry, the arch was small and the star seemed to have a certain landing spot in mind as it fell, shining brighter and longer than any other normal star, and it never really disappeared. One had, in fact, landed on one of the castle’s towers, something which, Isa presumed, an alien would do in order to quickly have the King meet its demands. Without a telescope, Isa couldn’t tell what the spacecrafts looked like or any other detail. All he could do was follow the path of the falling stars in hopes he’d collect enough information to know where to look when he had the proper equipment.

    For a week’s time, Lea had been dragging him around different shops to find other, more essential, things for school like clothes that weren’t his blue dress, books, a bag, shoes, and Lea even had the audacity to suggest a haircut. “Your hair’s getting too long,” Lea had said. “You’ll end up looking like a girl.”

    Isa had tripped Lea on the spot and watched him struggle against gravity before he fell on his rear in the middle of the crowded street. He didn’t bring up the haircut again during that day. Lea had to settle with Isa agreeing to look for clothes that were considered ‘normal’. It wasn’t long before Lea started to question Isa’s ability to color coordinate, but bit his tongue in order to not be tripped again.

    At one shop, Lea had asked Isa to wait outside. It was a jewelry shop. When Lea came back out, he put a small box in his pocket and didn’t give Isa an explanation until they were further down the road. Madeleine’s birthday was in two weeks’ time and he had found the perfect gift for her; an amethyst pendant with a thin chain of white gold.

    Isa tried to remember all the roads they walked down, all the twist and turns, shops and buildings. It would take some practice, but at least it’d be fun to get to know this brand new place. In a month’s time, he was certain he would be walking these roads as though they were his. No one would look at him and instantly know that he didn’t belong.

    The guestroom Isa had been offered was simple; it had a bed, night stand, lamp, closet and an ensuite bathroom. It was much bigger than his bedroom at home. As Mrs. Ferris had come by to leave Isa a set of towels, she had caught Isa looking around the room.

    “Feel free to make this room yours, Isa. You have seen Lea’s room, haven’t you? He’s put his dreams on his walls. You go ahead and do the same. Remind yourself of where you’re heading,” she said.

    So far, Isa had put a framed picture of his grandfather and grandmother on his nightstand. He didn’t have any religious figures to put up anywhere. He carried his faith within, remembering his grandfather’s words, “Beaivi never sleeps. She is the Sun and the Moon and watches over us always.”

    On the day of the exam, when Isa thought he’d freeze with anxiety, he had recalled his grandfather’s words and found the strength he needed within himself. How the exam went, Isa was never told. A letter was sent to Mr. Ferris who introduced Isa to his schedule. He hadn’t looked regretful for having given Isa a chance. It was only fair to assume that he had done better than bad on the exam.

    On the first day of school, Isa had woken up in his new bedroom, staring at a ceiling that, with time, would become a familiar and comforting sight, but as he woke up, he wished he could run back home. The faces of his grandparents calmed him and he took the frame in his hands to greet them properly before he put it back to get dressed and eat breakfast with Lea and his family.

    “Isa!” Lea called from where he sat on his spot and waved him over as if there was a risk Isa would choose to sit next to Eve instead.

    “Good morning,” Isa greeted them both and sat down next to Lea.

    “Did you sleep well? Are you nervous?” Lea smiled.

    “Yeah,” Isa admitted. “I slept alright. You?”

    “Like a log.”

    “Good morning, everyone,” Mr. Ferris greeted as he took his place at the head of the table and was followed by Mrs. Ferris who sat down next to her husband.

    “Dad, I bought a gift for Madeleine. She’s gonna love it.”

    “Let’s see,” Mr. Ferris smiled and held his hand out. Lea gave him the small jewelry box and waited eagerly for his father’s verdict.

    “Oh, Lea, it is beautiful,” Mrs. Ferris said as soon as her husband had opened the box. Even Eve had gotten out of her chair to see the necklace and she looked astounded, too.

    “Can I have one?” Eve asked and was about to touch the stone when her mother took her hand and held it in hers as she shook her head ‘no’.

    “Be sure to not outdo yourself too early on, Lea. A relationship between a man and a woman, the holiest of unions, is a marathon, not a hundred meters’ race. The necklace is beautiful, and she will love it, I’m sure. But keep my advice in mind for the future.” Mr. Ferris handed the box back to Lea and gave Lea a quick nod of proud acknowledgment. It was all Lea had been seeking.

     -x-

The Royal Academy lay southwest from the castle, near the city wall. The new students stood lined up on a tiled courtyard, out in the gentle sunlight, listening to their principal’s welcoming. Mr. Ferris had made it so Isa was in the same class as Lea, at least for the first month while Isa got accustomed to the school and his new classmates. Isa struggled keeping his attention on the principal with so many new things to see. There were four main buildings surrounded by a picturesque wall around the premises for security. Lea had pointed at the big, three story building and said that their classroom was on the second floor near the middle.

    “A shame,” Lea had said. “The guinea pigs will be placed in a classroom on the bottom floor.”

    Lea wasn’t allowed to have any pets at home. Both Eve and Mr. Ferris were allergic to fur, Lea only wanted a pet with as much fur as possible, which was probably why he had fallen in love with the long haired guinea pigs the school had for their students to teach them responsibility.

    The teachers were lined up behind the principal and were duly introduced. Isa reacted to one name in particular, Dr. Even. He had class with him five times a week to catch up with the other students. Dr. Even didn’t seem nearly as bad as Lea had described him. A little worn out, perhaps, but if everyone spoke of him like Lea did, Isa couldn’t blame him. Blasphemous, weird, arrogant, gross, the list seemed endless. All Isa could think of was all the things he was meant to learn from that man and how it would help him prove that there were aliens and that they may very well be walking amongst them.

    Once the speech was over, Isa thought they would all be going to their classrooms, but Lea grabbed him by his arm and dragged him off to the other side of the courtyard where the school clubs had gathered, each with a stand and pamphlets to advertise themselves to the new students.

    “What’s this?” Isa asked confused as they walked by a boy yelling chants for the soccer team into a megaphone while giving out fliers.

    “Clubs. You get extra credits for joining a club and participating in the events. There are lots of clubs, most of them for sports, but there are others, too.”

    “Are you joining one? Can I? I mean, do I have time to? I can’t do anything on weekends, and I have to study a lot as it is.”

    “I’m joining the Book Readers’ Club. They meet up in the same classroom where the guinea pigs are. It’ll save my dad a lot of grief. And you should join a club, too. You get extra credits for basically doing nothing, unless you sign up for sports, in which case, see you never. Those clubs are diehard. They live and breathe sports.”

    Isa stopped in his tracks and stared at a specific stand, mouth wide open at the sight. Lea came back when he realized that he had been talking to himself and had lost Isa a bit back. He immediately shook his head when he saw what Isa was looking at.

    “Isa, no. No, that’s a bad club.”

    “It’s the Astronomers’ Club! They probably have telescopes! Lea, it’s the perfect club.”

    “Isa, trust me, it’s not.”

    “Why not?”

    “Because, guess who’s the chairman? You guessed it. Augustus. He is going to have a stroke when he sees that you made it into this school and then he’s gonna shit a castle when he sees you signing up for his precious club.”

    “I think you’re confusing me with you. Augustus hasn’t showed any hostility toward me. You, on the other hand…”

    “What are you talking about? I’m his role model. He’d have me in the club in a split second,” Lea scoffed.

    “I think he might see you as a rival more than a role model.”

    “Why? I’m not hunting for aliens behind his back.”

    “No, but you’ve bought a gorgeous necklace for a girl who’s already head over heels for you, while she barely remembers Augustus in your presence, and Augustus gets redder than you when she talks to him. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.”

    “You think Madeleine’s head over heels for me?” Lea gaped. “Seriously? Don’t joke with me.”

    “I’m signing up for the Astronomers’ Club.” Isa turned on his heel and walked up to the stand and greeted the two representatives sitting there. They lit up when he asked them about the club and wondered if he could join or if there were prerequisites he had to fill before being eligible. Five minutes later, Isa was a proud member of the Astronomers’ Club. It did in fact have two telescopes to the members’ disposal. Lea was still standing on the same spot, with virtually the same expression of disbelief as he tried to compute that Madeleine might actually be interested in him, when Isa returned. Only at the reminder of the long haired guinea pigs did he finally snap out of it and sprinted to the Book Readers’ Club, pen in hand, fearing that others might beat him to his ingenious plan of getting to spend time with the precious hairballs.

-x-

Isa’s catch up classes began on the very same day. He had hurried down the hallways, looking down on the map Lea had drawn for him to find the right classroom in time. "If he does anything weird, tell me and I'll have my dad on him in no time. He needs to be put in place every once and awhile," Lea had said about Dr. Even and patted Isa on the shoulder as though those had been the last encouraging words before a battle.

    Augustus sat in front of the door to the classroom, and Isa slowed down. He may have seemed certain that Augustus didn’t have anything against him when he had teased Lea about it, but maybe Lea was right. Augustus wouldn’t be the first one to dislike him for what he was.

    Isa approached him slowly and sat down on the other side of the bench. Augustus was a bit taller than Isa, but much skinnier. The frame of his glasses were thick and black, making his face look smaller behind them. The brownish bangs that hung over his forehead made him look paler. Unlike Madeleine, Augustus had dark hair, like Eve, and brown eyes. He was almost always formally dressed in black pants and white shirts with his bows being the only changing and colorful thing about his clothes. Augustus scribbled in his notebook, unaware of Isa until Isa decided to greet him.

    “Hi, Augustus.”

    Augustus looked up, startled and saw Isa. He raised his hand slightly in a wave.

    “Are you here for Dr. Even’s classes?” Isa asked.

    “Yes. Are you?”

    “Yeah, but I’m here for catch up classes.”

    Augustus’ chuckle stuck in his nose and he snorted instead.

    “Dr. Even doesn’t do catch up classes.”

    “He doesn’t? But it says on my schedule that he’s my tutor.” Isa frowned and dug up his schedule to look at it for the hundredth time today. “If this isn’t where I’m supposed to be then where should I go? Do you know how to get to the teacher’s lounge from here? I’m gonna be late.” Isa got up and threw his bag over his shoulder.

    “No, I just meant that Dr. Even doesn’t do catch up classes. You’re not here to ‘catch up’. You’re here to advance. If your schedule says you’re supposed to be here, then here’s where you have to be. Sorry to have confused you.”

    Isa sat down again and glanced over at Augustus as he began to scribble in his notebook again.

    “So, it’s just us?” Isa asked.

    “Looks like. I heard that four girls from the same year applied for tutoring classes with Dr. Even, but the School Board turned them down on the account that girls’ brains aren’t apt for science. So that leaves just you and me.”

    “Girls’ brains aren’t apt for science? Why?”

    “Of course they’re apt.” Augustus glared at Isa before his face softened. “Girls who think don’t make good wives, and girls’ main objective, according to God, is marriage and reproduction. Science doesn’t fit into that picture.”

    “Well, can’t we protest?”

    “Protest?” Augustus asked, surprised.

    “Yeah. When the Royal Guards poached our reindeer, my grandfather gathered the tribe and we blocked the bridge for a whole week by linking our arms together and yelling at the guards that tried to pass. The need for herbs and bark that only we have became so urgent that people from the city started to protest against the guards, too, and they had to yield. If we find leverage, I’m sure we can get the Board members to change their mind.”

    “That’s amazing,” Augustus said and pushed his glasses up his nose. “We’d have to gather a lot of people. It’ll be dangerous. Danger…” Augustus chewed on his pen and looked at his notes. “Danger will be great. We’ll have to discuss this at greater length, Isa. I’m the Chairman of a club called the Astronomers’ Club. We have our first meeting on Thursday after school behind the cafeteria.”

    “Oh, yeah! I signed up for the club earlier today. I heard there were telescopes and I really like looking up at the stars, so…” Isa smiled nervously.

    “You signed up?” Augustus put his pen behind his ear to reach his hand out to Isa and give him a proper handshake. “As the Chairman, it is my honor to welcome you into our club. I have a feeling that without Lea in the picture, we’ll get along great.”

    Isa wasn’t sure what Augustus meant, and though he wanted to ask, they were interrupted by Dr. Even who opened the door for them and welcomed them into the classroom for their first private tutoring class in Advanced Science.


	9. Almost

* * *

While a brutal and peculiar murder took place in Sector Seven, Ienzo welcomed his guests to his tea party. The small break-room by the laboratory had been decorated with more framed pictures of cute and adorable animals. The tablecloth was almost as colorful as Aeleus' lab coat, and yet, out of all the oddities in the room, none were as attention grabbing as the mischievous and proud smile on Ienzo's face.

     "What you're about to witness may never, _ever_ , leave this room. Swear it on pride and honor!"

     Isa and Aeleus sighed simultaneously and said in unison, "I swear on pride and honor that this won't leave the room."

     "Okay, good." Ienzo put a box on the table and pulled the lid off to reveal its content.

     Isa gulped. The fragrances released were familiar and made his mouth water. The sweet and slightly sour scent of strawberries mixed with the scent of something thicker, vanilla flavored whipped cream. Isa had already seen the strawberry shortcake before Ienzo took it out. Aeleus fell back against his seat in awe as he took in the sight. His grip tightened around the dessert fork that looked more fit for a cocktail than cake.

     "Ienzo, we could get in serious trouble if anyone finds out," Aeleus said sternly, but the lick of his thin lips didn't convince anyone.

    Strawberry shortcake was more than just a cake. It was birthdays, graduations, lucky Super Save Fridays, shy picnic dates with first crushes, summer. It's what it had been. Now it was an unattainable item because dairy products were rationed, flour was in short supply and strawberries were not in season.

    "I know," Ienzo said and smiled again when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small birthday candle that he put on the cake. "I think we can all agree that you're worth that trouble. Happy Birthday, Aeleus."

   As Isa and Ienzo quietly sang Happy Birthday, they followed the unwritten rule of not looking at Aeleus. It was undoubtly an emotional moment. The badly concealed quiver of his bottom lip had been their first clue, and it had spread like ripples through water, infecting both Ienzo and Isa with nostalgia and melancholy. They were like infants. If one cried, they all cried. They were still learning to deal with moments like these and to give each other space when it was needed. 

   The strawberry shortcake was everything it had promised to be. The past came to life on their tip of their tongues; memories of desires and ambitions stuck in time came and went in a spoonful of cake.

   Ienzo shook with laughter.

   "I really wanted to become Santa Claus when I was little," he wheezed.  
   Isa watched Aeleus smile. It was subtle. There was warmth and shared memories behind it. They had a long history together, Ienzo and Aeleus. Aeleus had taken care of Ienzo. Lexaeus had taken care of Zexion. Their bond had never been broken, not by their transition or anything else. How, Isa wondered, was it possible to create such a bond? Was it one of Ienzo’s many successful experiments?

   “I believe Dr. Even has pictures of you in that Santa hat you loved.”

   “Right,” Ienzo sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I did love that hat. Weird, isn’t it? To get so attached to an inanimate object.”

   “It embodied your dream.” Aeleus chuckled as he took another spoonful of strawberry shortcake. It looked as strange as it sounded. This innocent scene unfolding in front of Isa was out of place. It made his head ache. He saw it happen a hundred times at once, overlapping it with the ten years of memories in worlds beyond this one. _I had you killed once. I wanted you dead for a long time._

   “Isa?” Ienzo’s soft tone brought Isa back from his speeding trails of thoughts.

   Isa looked up from where his gaze had gotten caught on the table and he gulped slightly. His hands were clammy. The room became too small, and the noose he constantly had around his neck made itself impossible to ignore.

   “I’m wearing the sweater of a murder victim.” Isa heard the tremble in his own voice. The face of the man behind the counter at the shelter flashed before Isa’s eyes and he pulled at his sweater absentmindedly. “He was a Nobody. Berserker. You can smell it, can’t you?”

   “Are you alright?” Aeleus asked, rising from his seat.

   “Isa, deep breaths.” Ienzo added.

   But it was too late. The sweater was strangling him. The smell of death was overpowering. The soul of one of Isa’s many murder victims was caught in between the stitches of his own sweater, worn by the perpetrator that had mostly likely killed him at least once. Every stitch was a cage reminding Isa that he was a prisoner still.

   When he woke up, he was cuffed to the bed in his room. Something burned at the side of his neck and he felt an urge to scratch it away. Dr. Even had called it ‘the beginning of set-backs’, and Isa was certain that Dr. Even had, at some point, scolded Lea thoroughly out in the hallway. A childish satisfaction of knowing that Lea had gotten in trouble made it easier to sleep and to ignore the need to scratch and pull at his noose.

-x-

During two days Ienzo, Aeleus and Dr. Even acted as human shields for Isa and made it physically and bureaucratically impossible for Lea to visit him. Lea had considered tackling Aeleus out of the way, but had to reconsider when he saw the giant man up close. Keyblade or not, Aeleus could easily grab him with one hand and toss him out the fortified window without breaking a sweat.

   Lea glanced at Aeleus from where he sat on the floor.

   “Can you at least tell me what happened?” Lea asked for the hundredth time.

   “You,” Aeleus replied shortly.

   “So you’re telling me that Isa can perfectly handle what he went through with Xehanort, what he’s being put through by the Restoration Committee and whatever the hell you, Ienzo and Even are up to, but _I’m_ the one who sent him off the edge?”

   “That’s exactly what I said.”

   “You’ve got some nerve.”

   A door at the far end of the corridor slammed against the wall behind it when two familiar faces walked in. Lea got onto his feet and watched Leon and Cloud hurry up to him.

   “Lea,” Leon greeted him with a nod while Cloud ordered Aeleus to make himself scarce.

   “Long time, no see. What’s going on?” Lea pulled his pants up absentmindedly and tried to keep himself from scratching the back of his neck nervously. Leon and Cloud had that certain authoritarian vibe that made him feel like he should be running away.

   “There’s been a murder in Sector Seven. Multiple murders, but this is the first time we can prove that there is a correlation between the murder and the Heartless sightings.”

   Lea frowned. “A Heartless killed someone?”

   “No, no.” Leon quickly dismissed Lea’s suspicions. “Not unless they know how to use guns. A man was found the day before yesterday with a gunshot wound through his forehead. He was executed. On him were residues of dark matter and a stench of sulfur. We’re thinking our killer uses dark portals and that he’s feeling pressed with you Keyblade-wielders on his neck. He might be eliminating threats. Does this sound like anyone you know?”

   “When did the murder take place?” Lea kicked himself for not having another immediate reaction.

   “As I said, the day before yesterday.”

   “The day before yesterday, huh?” Lea smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.    “Yeah… Isa was with uh, Ienzo and Aeleus at the castle. Y’know, in Ienzo’s underground lab. It was a tea party…”

   “A tea party?” Leon asked, narrowing his eyes.

   “Yeah, he was with me in the morning up until eleven-ish. We were at the castle around eight. Isa was escorted downstairs. He had a permission slip, and, uh, Ienzo had invited him to a tea party. I don’t understand it myself,” Lea let out a huff of air disguised as a soft laugh.

   “That’s when Isa had a ‘breakdown’, right?” Cloud crossed his arms. “You haven’t seen him since, have you?”

   Cloud already knew the answer to that. It was clear in the ice-cold look in his freakishly blue eyes.

   “Look, Lea. I’ll be honest with you. Saïx’s our prime suspect at this point. He’s got the know-how, access to weapons, and motive. There were traces of sulfur at the crime scene just like there was at the shelter. Saïx is the common nominator. If he can still open dark portals, God knows what else he can do. If you give us access to him, you’ll get something back that’ll definitely be worth it.” Leon dug into the pocket inside his dark coat and pulled out a neatly folded document.

   “What?” Lea asked as curious as he was nervous.

   “We’ll trade a day with Saïx for a day with Ienzo. You’ll get to take him off the premises, off-world included. You know that little project you and your friends are working on? Ienzo could be of help. It’s a good deal, Lea.” Leon handed him the document alongside a pen. “The sheer amount of paperwork you’d have to work through to get Ienzo out of here in any other situation would drive any man crazy. You like paperwork, Lea?”

   Lea shook his head as his mouth went dry. Roxas would knock him unconscious if he ever found out that Lea had turned down an offer that could help them with Xion. Given that Lea was trying to be as honest as he possibly could with his friends, Roxas would be the first person to find out. Even so, Lea had his doubts about this. It was a good deal, but they were trading with people.

   “Just for a day, right?” Lea asked as he took the pen and unfolded the document to skim through it quickly.

   “Just for a day,” Leon assured him.

   “Okay, you’ve got a deal.” Lea signed the document and handed it over to Leon with trembling hands.

   “I’ll get this to Cid at noon. You can fetch Ienzo at the third basement floor at the castle after one o’clock. Cid will escort you there and he’ll give you a copy of this document for you to give Yen Sid.”

   Lea’s attention was torn between the instructions Leon was giving him and the orders Cloud was transmitting through a walkie-talkie.

   “We got it. Move in quickly. Treat it as a Code Red. We’re taking him to Sector Seven.” Cloud had barely finished when six guards walked in. Aeleus looked down the hallway, catching Lea’s confused expression. Aeleus frowned as though he knew what Lea had done and turned his attention to the wall in front of him right as the doors closed.

   “What, wait, wait. What’s happening? Why the guards?” Lea stepped forward to keep the guards from proceeding.

   “We have to be precautious,” Cloud said simply, and signed for the guards to move forward, but Lea stood firm in front of the door.

   "Wait. Just wait. You can't take him now... just let me tell him about the deal and prepare him. You can have him tomorrow." Lea looked at Leon.

   "The evidence is wasting away, Lea. We’ve been waiting for two days. Step aside."

   "Tomorrow. At noon. If you try anything before then I'll break off the deal. Understood?"

   The tension built in the silence that followed as Cloud and Leon exchanged looks. Lea wasn’t new to shady deals and backstreet diplomacy. His skills were rusty but not gone. He needed to be on Isa's good side. Leon and Cloud had to abide by prior treaties, their duty was to the Keyblade-wielders. Unlike Isa who could easily tell him to go to Hell.

   Cloud ordered the soldiers to retreat as he scratched the back of his head in frustration. Lea watched them leave and managed to catch Aeleus surprised look when they walked him by without Isa in shackles.

   "Tomorrow at noon," Leon said sternly before he turned on his heel to leave with Cloud right behind.

   With everyone out of his way, Lea opened the door and stepped inside with such eagerness that the door slammed against the wall and nearly shoved him out of the way on its way back. Isa and Ienzo looked up at him. Ienzo sat on the couch across from where Isa sat on the floor. An unfinished toy lay on its side on the worn coffee table between them. They had both a small bunch of coffee beans in their hands and they were taking turns to fill the toy with them.

   "What are you doing here?" Ienzo asked. "Where's Aeleus?"

   "On a piss break," Lea replied with a glare Ienzo's way. "Don't you have a lab to run?"

   Ienzo didn't say anything back. He simply smiled and rose to his feet.

   "Isa, don't forget our appointment."

   "I won't. Thanks." Isa looked up at Ienzo, subtly motioning to the toy.

   "Don't mention it. Take good care of it." Ienzo walked out of the room, closing the door delicately after himself.

   Lea waited for the click of the lock before he stormed up to Isa.

   "What the hell is going on, Isa? What happened?"

   "I had a brief episode. It was nothing major," Isa said and shrugged, turning his attention back to the coffee beans and the toy.

   "So why'd they shut me out? I was worried sick!" Lea kept raising his voice. He had to pause and take a quick walk around the room before he continued. "I need to know what's going on, Isa."

   "I'm sure they were just trying to wind you up," Isa said with a tired sigh. He put the last of the coffee beans into the toy and grabbed a sewing needle with a dark brown thread to match the dirty blond color of the fabric that reminded Lea of bales of hay.

   "You did kill two of them after all," Isa continued, "I guess they figured it was time for revenge?"

   Lea didn't say anything, certain that Isa was testing him. He sat down on the couch and watched Isa finish the toy; it was a macabre looking teddy bear with two buttons of different sizes for eyes and a zipper for a mouth, shaped into a smile.

   "Have you had breakfast yet?” Lea asked after a while.

   "Breakfast is at nine."

   "Should we go downstairs? We'll only be thirty minutes early."

   "Going downstairs is a process," Isa said, dully.

   "Can you refuse breakfast?" Lea asked. He shook his leg impatiently.

   "Why?" Isa put the teddy bear down onto the coffee table and straightened its dark blue salopettes.

   "Let's go somewhere else. The food downstairs is shit anyway."

   "I don't have the clearance to have breakfast elsewhere, Lea," Isa said as calmly as he could but spoke through his teeth.

   "C'mon, get up. We're going." Lea rose to his feet and rounded the couch all the while Isa glared at him dangerously. “I’m giving you clearance. So get up, get over here, ‘cause we’re going out for breakfast.” Lea waved him over until Isa got up reluctantly.

   He sat the teddy bear down on the table and dug into his pocket for his ID-card. He clenched his fingers around it briefly, silently cursing himself when he put it down by the teddy bear.

   “Ready?” Lea asked when Isa finally walked up to him. Isa gave him a short nod for a reply. “Okay, good. I’m gonna have to touch you for this to work, and you’ll have to get a little closer. There. That’s fine. I’ll grab your wrist, alright?”

   “Just do it already,” Isa mumbled.

   A line of colorful sparkles surrounded them and twirled around them until all they could see was a white blur. Isa kept his eyes open at all times to watch the transition from his cell to wherever Lea was taking him. The colorful magic disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. They appeared in a small living room with nothing out of the ordinary. Lea hurried out of the room to see if the coast was clear. No one was home. He waved at Isa when he felt sure that no one else was in the house.

   “Are we breaking and entering?” Isa asked as he watched Lea sneak past a small hallway into the foyer.

   “No,” Lea said in a whisper, still keeping a look out. “This is where we Keyblade-wielders lodge when we’re stationed here in Radiant Garden.” He looked through the closet by the entrance and pulled out coats, caps and a pair of dark shoes. “Alright, I think this one fits you. Hold your arms out.”

   “I can dress myself,” Isa said and yanked the coat out of Lea’s hands. He put it on, looking down at the sleeves that went all the way over his knuckles.

   “Does it fit?” Lea asked as he put his own coat on.

   “Yeah,” Isa said with a small nod. “Can I keep it?”

   “Yeah, sure. I don’t use it anyway. Here, put this on.” Lea tossed him a dark green beanie with ear flaps. “It’s cold outside. I think I have a scarf here somewhere, but Roxas might’ve taken it.”

   Lea pulled out all drawers to find the light green scarf he had bought along with that beanie. They had been a limited edition pair sold in one of Traverse Town’s most renowned underground shops. It had taken Lea a week to get to the right location, and once there, Roxas had frowned at every item, wondering out loud what the big deal had been. Now, Lea had to get a court order to get that scarf back from Roxas whenever it crossed his mind to use it.

   “Lea?”

   Lea looked up dumbly at the lack of indifference or hostility in Isa’s voice, partly muffled behind the coat’s collar that Isa had pulled up over his mouth.

   “Where are we going?” Isa asked.

   “To that place that was by the big crossing, remember? It was a backstreet back then, by Coconut Grove? Remember that really tiny coffee shop where they sold weird souvenirs of the royal family?”

   “That had small tarts with the faces of the Royal Guards...” Isa added thoughtfully as proof that he did remember. “Are they still around? I thought that part of Radiant Garden had turned to dust.”

   “They rebuilt. The owner’s son and daughter-in-law are running the place now. The owner’s wife was around for a while but she dedicates her time to search for her husband nowadays. He’s one of the missing people.”

   Isa nodded slowly as he looked down on the floor. “Are there a lot of former Nobodies in the area?”

   “I think there might be a few, but don’t worry. With the beanie and the coat, maybe a pair of shades, no one will recognize you.”

   “It’s not just my appearance that gives me away, Lea. I reek of darkness.”

   “It can’t be that bad, can it? I don’t smell anything on you.” Lea tried to smile, but the hopelessness in Isa’s eyes made him reconsider. “Look, you can wait by some rocks nearby. There’s a great view from there. I was planning on having breakfast there anyway. I’ll go and get us breakfast. What do you wanna eat?”

   Isa shrugged. “Surprise me.”

-x-

The rocks Lea had talked about was a cliff that had risen through this part of the city during Radiant Garden’s first fall. There were probably plans on doing something about it, but the small patch of livable land up here seemed to suit the villagers just fine. They had a spectacular view of everything old and beautiful in Radiant Garden while having the option to ignore the growing slums that were obscured by the tall trees on the rock.

   The sky was pink and orange. The sunlight was only visible in the way it illuminated the plentiful and colorful clouds.

   Isa leaned back on his hands as he took a deep breath and held it in for a second, his eyes closed. The air was different here. The breeze drowned out his thoughts. The damp soil, the pine trees and vegetation overpowered the smell of darkness. The coat kept the cold out. The seams didn’t cut at his shoulders and it was big enough that he could move his arms around without feeling restrained by the fabric. The ID-card, though small and inconspicuous, had been a heavy burden to carry around. Without it, Isa felt lighter, at ease, and for a brief moment it was as if he belonged to himself. The ground didn’t seem to shift underneath him anymore. He blinked and for the first time in years he saw Radiant Garden as the city he once had known. The threat of Xehanort’s remains running through his veins was distant up here, and the memory of Terra’s tragic end seemed surreal and almost silly to think about.

   “Beautiful, huh?” Lea flopped down next to Isa, handing him a paperbag. “Careful, there’s a cup of steaming hot coffee in there.”

   Isa opened the bag and looked into it, curious about the sandwich wrapped in white, thin paper, but frowned at the coffee cup.

   “You don’t like it? It's Mocha Caramel.” Lea said. He had been looking at Isa carefully.

   “I don’t drink coffee.”

   “You wanna taste mine?” Lea pulled off the lid on his cup and handed it to Isa. “It’s a Dharma Chai Tea Latte.”

   “It’s got milk?” Isa smelled it with a small frown at the mixture of unusual scents.

   “Yeah… it’s from their ‘exclusive shelf’ in the back. Costs a bit more, but I fell in love with it when I had it in a Chinese tea shop in Traverse Town. Roxas is always buying stuff off menus with the longest and weirdest names and dared me to try this. I only ever drank plain coffee or tea before, but this opened new doors. It’s a blend of cinnamon, black tea and roobios, sugar and milk.”

   Isa had a small sip, skeptical that it’d be good enough to be referred as something that could ‘open doors’. It definitely had a weird taste, it wasn’t bad, but not good either. It was hard to tell if the faint bitterness was a reflection of a sudden twinge of jealousy. Lea had been living. He traveled, tried new things. He could talk about something as plain as tea and make it seem like drinking it was an experience worth mentioning.

   The expectant look on Lea’s face told Isa that a question was brewing.

   “You like it?”

   “It’s alright,” Isa said and handed the cup back to Lea.

   “You can have it if you want to.”

   “No, thanks.”

   Lea couldn’t seem to shut up about his travels after that. He went on about all the places Isa should see and the things he should try. Lea had found a family with a the Keyblade-wielders. He had travelled the worlds with them and had anecdotes with them all that made him laugh in earnest as he told them. Some names cropped up more than others. Breakfast was hard to swallow with the lump of growing anxiety in Isa’s throat. He wasn’t sure if Lea had forgotten what situation he was in or if Lea was just trying to assure him that there was something for him once all of this was over. He only managed to remind Isa of the time he had left like this. Isa didn’t want to think about remote places. He wanted to sort out his past first, find at least a shred of his former self to have something to build on and to fight Xehanort if there were still remains left of him in his body.

   The liberty he had experienced at seeing the view slowly faded and turned the sight into a two-dimensional picture. A strange longing made itself known as Isa locked his eyes on the castle. He wanted to go back, to the castle, to Ienzo's lab where his small, and surely insignificant, accomplishments were celebrated and encouraged; where everything was a process they could all relate to.

   "So, uh..." Lea trailed off and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bore you."

   "You didn't," Isa replied instinctively. Dr. Even’s exercises in pleasantries had paid off.

   "Good," Lea smiled in relief. "We should probably head back soon, but... our old school is still standing. You wanna go and have a quick look? It's closed today so it should be just the two of us there."

   Lea laughed when Isa's expression inadvertently changed and revealed an interest that definitely hadn't been there when Lea had been talking earlier.

   "C’mon, let's head on over." Lea got up onto his feet and reached his hand out to help Isa. For a split second, Isa considered rejecting the help to fortify their distance. Forgiving and forgetting seemed like two things that lay in a distant future, but he had managed to grow attached to Ienzo, Aeleus, and even Dr. Even, despite their shared history. Isa’s bond with Lea, as weak as it had been, might still be salvageable.

   Isa reached his hand out hesitantly. He clasped his hand around Lea’s wrist, rationalizing the small skip of a heartbeat away. Lea didn’t flinch in the slightest, the touch was casual to him. It merely had a practical purpose, and soon enough the same was true for Isa.

   “There we go,” Lea said as he pulled Isa up to his feet. “Follow me.”

   The Royal Academy of Radiant Garden was reserved for the rich and the gifted. Many of King Ansem’s advisors had known this school before they went to do great things. Isa had faint memories of the gatherings on the school yard and the principal’s long-winded opening and closing speeches. The buildings had seemed bigger and much more intimidating back then. Isa had to close his eyes to focus. He recalled certain people, but he had no names or faces to put on them. His clearest memory was of the Astronomers’ Club. It had consisted of a small group of people. Isa had joined because they had access to telescopes. He had been fascinated by the night sky, the stars, the moon.

   “Remember how you used to go on about aliens?” Lea snickered. “We didn’t know what lay beyond this world. I bet we thought it was small, green figures, beeping.”

   “Did I say that?” Isa asked curiously, thinking it a challenge to imagine himself innocent enough to find anything interesting about small green figures.

   “I don’t remember,” Lea shrugged. “I just remember that you were in a club for alien hunters.”

   “Astronomers,” Isa corrected absentmindedly. “You weren’t in that club.”

   “No, I was in the Book Readers’ Club.”

   It had been an adventurous time, Isa thought as he stood on the familiar courtyard once again. His fascination for aliens back then was ironic now that he was one. Alien to himself, most of all.

   “The book club always had access to the classroom with the long-haired guinea pigs,” Lea said with a smile. “They still have that tradition of keeping long-haired guinea pigs. I got to meet the latest generation when I came here with Roxas and Sora to talk to the kids about what we do and answer their questions in regards to the fall of Radiant Garden.”

   “Do you remember our time here?” Isa asked, as if he hadn’t heard Lea’s comment at all.

   “Yeah, most of it. You?” Lea exhaled slowly, a tense look in his eyes.

   “I remember science class. An almost riot. An almost partnership.” Isa turned to face the main entrance of the bigger building. He saw someone in the fragmented memories of this place. The name should be familiar to him, but he couldn’t find it. It wasn’t Lea. “I remember that I almost graduated.”

   The random night that had changed the course of their lives went by unmentioned, but Isa lived it again nonetheless. The cold air, eyes full of tears at the pounding ache in his lower face, and a heartache so unbearable he had wished to never feel again. It had been a shameful night. One that was best left unexplored.

   Lea realized his mistake in bringing Isa to their old school soon enough. He was the one with the best memories of it. He had been with his peers, had had a bright future ahead.

   They were back in Isa's cell well before lunch. The teddy bear was still on the coffee table right next to the white ID-card. It made Isa's neck itch. It reminded him of his impending doom and enlightened a previously latent urgency to live. Isa wanted to continue to build on the fragments of his life, however small and bad. He wanted his life to reach beyond these walls and be more than the legacy Xehanort had left him with.

   “Looks like you can refuse breakfast,” Lea said and walked over to the couch. “I thought this place would be turned upside-down.”

   “Yeah,” Isa agreed quietly with a nod. He took off his new coat and placed it carefully by the end of his bed.

   “So, what’s with the creepy teddy bear? Are you short on nightmare fuel?” Lea asked with an awkward smile as Isa sat down on the floor by the coffee table.

   “It’s to prevent anxiety attacks. It’s full of coffee beans.”

   “Coffee beans? I thought you said you didn’t like coffee.” Lea reached forward to grab the teddy bear, but Isa flicked his hand away.

   “I don’t. I like the coffee beans.”

   “For any particular reason?” Lea made a face to hide his frustration and clenched his hands over one another to keep himself from scratching the back of his neck.

   “I like their weight, the sound they make when I toss them around, the smell.”

   Lea slid down the couch to lean over the coffee table. He glanced at the door before he turned his attention back to Isa. “What do they have on you, Isa? Ienzo, Even... why are you acting like this?”

   “Like how?”

   “Compliant. Obedient. Like the sky could fall over us right now and you wouldn’t give a shit. What’s going on? Are you drugged?”

   A laugh erupted through Isa like a burp, and it made him laugh harder. His first laugh in months and it had to be because of Lea. Not even the elevator rides could get something like this out of him. The serious, stern look in those bright green eyes grew in intensity with fear at the foreign sound of Isa laughing, and it was funny.

   “Isa?”

   “I…” Isa sighed and cleared his throat softly. “I don’t know what you were expecting, Lea.”

   “Some resistance, for one.”

   “Did you know that last time I made resistance - real screaming-on-top-of-my-lungs, furious, convincing resistance - I got a recusant's sigil carved into my face?” Isa asked calmly, looking Lea in the eye. Lea could only maintain eye contact for so long. The amber discoloration in Isa’s eyes were reminders too heavy to deal with.

   “And when I kept resisting, secretly and quietly, I just ended up sinking deeper into the whole mess. The more I struggled, the stronger Xehanort’s grasp became. You know that there might still be remains of him in me, right? It must’ve been in one of the files you had to read before signing up as a chaperone. If it’s true, if his will lives on in me, all it needs is a bit of hatred, anger, to either raise Xehanort from the dead or finish me off. So I stay as calm as I can. I don’t struggle. It seems like the only sensible thing to do, and it’s probably what I should’ve done from the beginning. Is that good enough?”

   “Yeah, that’s… good enough.” Lea scratched the back of his head with both hands and pulled up his knees to lean his forehead against them. He sighed tiredly.

   Lea’s reaction was strangely satisfying. He could’ve kept insisting with the array of questions his superiors wanted answered; he could’ve left or said something sarcastic in return, but instead he seemed hurt.

   “So, it’s true then?” Lea asked, his face still obscured by his knees. “Your breakdown. It was because of me? Do you hate me that much? More than Even, more than Ienzo?”

   Isa almost answered immediately. He almost said ‘yes’ with such certainty that it would’ve been difficult to take back without making it seem like a lie. Hatred was definitely present amongst the multitude of confusing feelings Isa had for Lea. A small part of him wanted to answer honestly just to see what reaction he’d get. Had Lea asked him that question just a few months earlier, Isa wouldn’t have hesitated to say anything he could think of to hurt Lea as much as he could. It was different now. There had been time for his anger to settle and for it to be untangled. Anger is a secondary emotion, Dr. Even had said. Lea was no longer just the traitor that had left him for dead. He was the scent in the warm coat Isa had immediately grown fond of; he was Isa’s connection to the past, to this world. Lea was his living proof that he had been human once.

   Isa stepped up onto the coffee table and walked the small distance between them. Lea looked up, surprised by Isa towering over him, and then astounded when Isa stepped down and straddled his lap.

   “Don’t say anything,” Isa said firmly. He leaned forward before Lea could answer.

   Softly, Isa rested his forehead against Lea’s shoulder. To think that there had been a time when the world had felt right being this close to Lea. The fabric of Lea’s clothes against his skin had been enticing; the faint scent in the nape of Lea’s neck had initiated an addiction that never got to fully bloom. Lea’s arms around him had been safety, comfort. Isa had, despite his tender age at the time, built a universe of emotions for Lea, and he had filled it with the complexity of trust, vulnerability and loyalty that had taken years to undo. The amount of power he had been willing to give away had been borderline asinine.

   “Isa,” Lea whispered name against the shell of his ear as he searched for Isa’s hands. He didn’t settle with Isa’s hands once he found them. Trembling, Lea’s hands roamed in search for something else, up Isa’s thighs, arms, and over his back. He ran his arms around Isa and held him tightly. The heavy beat of his heart was hard enough for Isa to feel against him in the tight embrace.

   A couple of years ago, Isa would’ve done anything to see this immersion from Lea. The touching, the proximity and the warm breath against his neck, were all pleasant. They served as reminders that his mind and body were one and that he no longer had to pretend that they weren’t.

   None of Lea’s careful touching had the same effect their brief handholding had had on Isa earlier. His heart didn’t flutter, not even once. The memories of his intense feelings years back made him cautious. Lea was here on someone’s orders and for his own interests. The same was true for everyone else around him, and Isa wanted his own interests to act on, too.

   “I’ve missed you, Isa,” Lea mumbled. “I’ve missed you so much.”

   There was a reason Isa had asked Lea to not speak. When his heart skipped a beat, and he found himself grow heavier in Lea’s embrace, he realized what that reason was.

 

 


	10. Happy Birthday

* * *

The work conducted at the Astronomers’ Club was nothing short of amazing. They were few but dedicated to the cause of mapping and exploring the night sky by any means available. Augustus spoke freely about his theory on extraterrestrials without ever being mocked. He only had his ideas constructively challenged in a way that made it easier to think of his approach in new ways or even strengthening his ideas. Isa had spent most of their first days listening to what the members discussed. When he was asked for an opinion he’d fumble for an answer while fearing that his ignorance would make him an uninteresting addition to the group, but his perspective seemed to interest his newfound friends. At least while Augustus was present. Polite smiles and stern gazes were trademark signs of people keeping a watchful distance. Isa would have to earn their trust.

     Three weeks in and school had become one of the greatest things to happen to him. The occasional name calling and mocking glares his way was something he expected from townspeople, but now he had a place where he could air his believes and observations of the night sky. His cheeks ached from smiling. He could feel his brain light up like the sky at dawn with everything that he was learning. Just thinking about how much more there was left to learn had him hold back a squeal of glee as he hurried back to Lea’s place after a meeting that had run late. Isa hurried to his room to leave his bag and freshen up before dinner. Everyone was already seated when he walked into the dining room.

     Mr. Ferris gestured for Isa to sit down on his seat next to Lea and smiled kindly.

     “I’m sorry I’m late. I was delayed at school,” Isa explained as he sat down.

     “No worries, Isa. I’m glad you’ve taken such a keen interest in your studies. I’ve heard good things about you from your teachers. They are all pleasantly surprised. Dr. Even, too, which is a miracle in and of itself.” Mr. Ferris laughed heartily. “You should invite Augustus over for studying since Lea seems to have forgotten about his old friend.”

     Lea gripped his fork tightly and glanced at Isa from the corner of his eye.

     “Daddy, I got an A on my art project,” Eve chimed in and got a smile from Mrs. Ferris.

     “I know, sweetheart. Your mother told me. It’s been awhile since we had an artist in the family. It is long overdue.” Mr. Ferris gave his daughter an approving nod before he turned to Lea with a serious expression. Lea clearly knew why as he immediately turned his attention to his plate. “What do I have to do to talk you out of stalking those rats, Lea?”

    “Guinea pigs. And if I didn’t stalk them, they’d starve. The group that has them now has no experience in taking care of animals. I had no choice.”

    “You broke into the classroom like some common burglar, Lea. Help me save face.” Mr. Ferris looked like he had run out of options and was begging Lea to help him say the right thing.

    “Not at the cost of innocent lives, dad.”

    Lea’s solemn expression at revealing to his dad that there was no chance of compromise in this situation made Isa smile. He looked down on his plate, saved by the servants bringing in dinner.

    Mrs. Ferris put a calming hand on her husband’s arm while Eve stared intensely at her father from behind the napkin she was toying with. Silence lay heavy between them. Lea inched closer to Isa until their hands nearly brushed against each other. Isa looked around to try to read their faces, but wasn’t given a chance when Mr. Ferris suddenly raised his glass to toast to the accomplishments of the children in his household. Isa drank to it gladly, the heavy air gone and replaced by the cheerfulness Isa had come to associate with Lea and his family.

    After dinner, Lea grabbed Isa by the wrist on their way back to their rooms and led him to the kitchen and out to a small patio that faced a small service road.

    “Lea, where are we going? I have homework to do,” Isa said with a yawn. The feasts that Lea’s family called dinner always left Isa longing for a nap, but with his schedule full, it was hard to find time for proper sleep.

    Lea held Isa’s hand absently and ran his thumbs over Isa’s knuckles and sighed in relief when he couldn’t find any indications of punishment. It was an odd habit Isa had gotten used to already.

    “Let’s hang out for a bit,” Lea said. “It feels like a barely see you anymore. You’ve caught up with schoolwork already, right? I mean, if Dr. Even hasn’t anything bad to say about you, you’ve done pretty good. You don’t have to excel so early on. It makes them expect things of you, and if they start expecting things, you’ll end up fighting to become what they want you to be.”

    “Who are ‘they’? And what do ‘they’ expect?” Isa asked with a sideway-glance at Lea.

    “The extraterrestrials that run this place. And they want to make you a part of their master plan.” Lea grinned at Isa’s eye roll. “Let’s go for some ice cream.”

    “We just ate _and_ we had dessert.”

    “Fried banana is not a dessert.” Lea made a face and shuddered. “Maybe for extraterrestrials, but not for me.”

    “You’re an idiot,” Isa sighed when Lea brought him in closer by throwing his arm around his shoulder.

    Lea had taken a liking to seasalt ice cream after having treated Isa to all other ten ice creams available for purchase in Radiant Garden but gotten nothing but negative feedback on all of them. All of them except for the seasalt ice cream. Isa hadn’t been over the moon for it. He enjoyed the mix of sweet and bitter and also the coolness of it, which was great in the late summer when the heat became near insufferable in the city where the buildings closed the heat in and made it difficult for sea breezes to make it through the narrow roads. He had finished it, and that was all the positive feedback Lea needed to make sea salt ice cream an indispensable symbol of affection.

    “I’m gonna tire of this ice cream one day,” Isa said once they sat on top of a deteriorating part of the wall around the castle, looking at the courtyard where the Royal Guards gathered for combat practice.

    “I wouldn’t bet on it,” Lea said smugly and took a bite of his ice cream.

    “I’m telling you, I will. It’s not even that good.”

    Lea laughed.

    “Not that good,” he parroted. “You close your eyes every time you have a bite. You go like,” Lea sat up straight and brought the ice cream to his mouth while scrunching his face. He took a small bite, smiled, and wiggled his head slightly in feigned delight. “Just like my granny when I snuck her toffees.”

    Isa cheeks flushed red.

    “I do not!”

    “You do. As someone who watches you eat, I _assure_ you, you do.” Lea chuckled. “It’s cute.”

    Lea fell silent, his focus shifted to the courtyard where the guards were practicing close combat. He cleared his throat as if he was going to say something but instead he just swung his legs restlessly. He picked at the moss that was growing between the stones of the wall, glancing at Isa like he had done at the table until he finally spoke.

    “So, you’re in the same class as Augustus? You talk at all?”

    “Yeah. He’s great. Not at all as I thought he’d be. And you were right about him being the chairman of the Astronomers’ Club. Augustus has been incredibly helpful and he’s started a campaign of protest against the discrimination against girls in private tutoring on advanced level.”

    Isa had avoided telling Lea anything about his newfound friendship with Augustus. Lea always seemed to get annoyed at the mentioning of his name, and though Isa was curious to know why, he had never asked.

    “He hasn’t said anything about me, right?” Lea asked nervously. “He has a thing for badmouthing me. Make stuff up and whatnot.”

    “Augustus?” Isa asked, surprised. “He doesn’t mention you at all. Generally, we talk about astronomy, books, homework - the other day he was telling me that he had gotten a big vivarium for his yellow Python that’s grown to the size of a monster. He’s invited us over to see it tomorrow.”

    “You’re going to his place tomorrow?” Lea took a deep breath. “When?”

    “After school. We’ll only be there for a little while. I can ask if you can come, too.”

    “No, it’s fine. You go and see the snake. Don’t let it swallow you whole. It’s a constrictor. It’ll wrap itself around you and crush you into snack-size if you’re not careful.”

    “I don’t think it’s grown that big.”

    Lea smiled wearily and looked down on his left knee where his ice cream had dripped.

    “Lea, are you alright? What is it?” Isa inched in closer and placed his hand over Lea’s and squeezed it gently.

    “I don’t know,” Lea admitted with a huff and shrugged. “It’s just, I’ve been thinking about stuff, maybe too much. It’s like time is passing me by so quickly and I don’t know what to focus on. My birthday’s in a few weeks’ time. That means that within a year I have to propose to Madeleine. Then finish school, prepare for a year of army training, marriage, kids, work. My whole life is laid out in front of me, and I know that it’s the right way to go to be remembered, to become immortal, but what if I fail? Will that be it? Will I just fall into oblivion and break a chain of greatness?” Lea’s voice trembled and he swallowed hard. “You know what would be great? If we could go back to the beginning of summer. It was just you and me out in the middle of nowhere.”

    “You were scared out of your wits,” Isa reminded him.

    “Only at night and I was well within my right to be scared out my wits. The spiders out there were the size of my hand.”

    Isa smiled.

    “I thought you were looking forward to getting engaged and growing up, Lea.”

    “I was.”

    “What changed?”

    “I don’t know. It just seems to me that being a grown up is suffocating. Grown-ups make rules and hide behind them to set order to everything and everyone around them. Some things are wrong, others aren’t, even if deep, deep, down it doesn’t feel wrong, you have to blindly trust what the grown-ups say. I want to do things my way. I wanna _see_ if there is a ‘my way’.”

    “Re-invent the wheel?” Isa offered, clearly remembering what Lea had told him the first night on their hike.

    “Yeah,” Lea chuckled and shoved Isa slightly. “Re-invent the wheel. See what I come up with.”

    “For what it’s worth, whether you fail or not, I’ll always remember you, Lea. I won’t forget you. I’ll learn how to draw and paint properly, and I’ll do a painting of you and I’ll hang it up on a wall for all to see. I’ll ask Eve to tutor me.”

    “Don’t tell her what it’s for or she’ll refuse ‘til she’s blue in the face.” Lea smiled, holding Isa’s hand tightly with his sticky ones. “Mind if I go with you on your reindeer pilgrimage next summer?”

    “You’ll upset my grandad.”

    “When is he not upset, though?” They both chuckled. Lea took another deep breath. “I’ll get my knuckles bruised in your stead, Isa. Just let me go with you, before it all starts.”

    “Hmmm,” Isa began, pretending to think about it, his amused expression giving him away. “I do need a pack mule for all the bananas I have to bring for dessert.”

    “Don’t you ever grow tired of teasing me?” Lea laughed.

    “Never.”

    They sat on the stone wall, casually watching the guards train as the sun slowly set at the horizon and turned the sky a brilliant orange. Lea’s plea would ring softly in the back of Isa’s mind on occasion. If forever was an option for them, Isa would choose it without a doubt.

-x-

Lea’s birthday party was a big event, a chance for his parents to show off their house and to invite and mingle with the elite of Radiant Garden. No one wanted to miss one of Mrs. Ferris’ great parties known for the delicious coffee and extraordinary pastries. Isa had attended plenty of Mrs. Ferris gatherings. Whether they were small or big, Mrs. Ferris loved to splurge and pamper her guests. Her love for attention reminded Isa of Lea and he wondered if Lea would be inclined to have lavish parties just like his mother.

    When there were as many invited people as there were now, Isa would make sure to follow Lea to ‘safe spots’ where they wouldn’t have to engage with the invited as much, but since Lea was the center of attention, Isa had decided to stand back and wait for the party to be over to properly congratulate Lea on his fifteenth birthday. Isa sat by the table after most guests had gone up for a walk in the room. The dinner had been exquisite, complete with a small dessert that was to be followed by a surprise birthday cake no one but Mrs. Ferris and the staff had seen. The guests had been granted a small break to make room for the cake. A small orchestra played classical pieces from a corner in the room, and some had taken to dancing.

    “Hi, Isa,” Augustus said shyly and raised his hand for a quick wave. “Mind if I sit next to you?”

    “No, not at all.” Isa smiled. “Did you just get here?”

    “No, I was just sat on the other end of the table. Mr. Ferris must have forced Lea to invite me.”

    “Why would you say that? You’re friends. Of course Lea would invite you.”

    Augustus pursed his lips.

    “It’s been awhile since we were friends. But let bygones be bygones. I’m just happy that I found a kindred soul amongst all these people. Have you had a look in the book I lent you?” Augustus eyes brightened at the change of subject and he pushed his glasses up his nose to not lose focus on Isa.

    “I did! I’m amazed that book even exists.” Isa clasped his hands and spoke in a low voice.

    “There were five copies," Augustus said. "Three of them were burned. I found my copy by accident, and I’m pretty sure Dr. Even has the fifth copy. I hope he does. I’ve heard that he has a private library full of writings that would be condemned by the Church should he be found out. A safekeeper of science, that’s what Dr. Even is. What did you think about it?”

    “I’m not sure I understood all of it, but what I gathered was that there’s a theory about being able to anticipate a supernova explosion? What was it called - neutrinos? They’re so small and weak that it can pass through everything, and a visible supernova explosion is two percent of the energy released while neutrinos make up ninety-eight percent. They’re like ghosts, the soul of a massive star scattered around the universe.” Isa’s heart started to beat faster as he talked and he smiled at the thought. Nothing dies, only converts.

    “Theoretically, we could be able to detect neutrinos and predict when a supernova is about to explode. Since neutrinos start to pour out as the star collapses in on itself, maybe the same could be true for us. We don’t die, or rather, our energy doesn’t die, it just transforms. Imagine being able to tell that to people instead of instilling the fear of God in them with threats of Hell.”

    The book Augustus had lent Isa was one of the many books of the Church’s list of forbidden readings. In the time before theirs, before the Church took over with its teachings, science had flourished. Scientists studied the skies and tried to figure out what lay beyond their world, certain that there had to be life out there. A dangerous pursuit, the Church said and burned all trace of such research and everything else they could get their grubby hands on.

   Augustus played with the stalk of a cherry someone had left on their plate and smiled sheepishly at the fascinated look in Isa’s eyes. “I hope you plan on pursuing an academic career, Isa. You make a good sounding board. You have sound ideas, unique perspectives. I must say that I envy your access to clear skies. You may discover extraterrestrials before I do.”

    “I’d tell you if I found any,” Isa said, a bit ashamed at remembering how he had wanted to win against Augustus back when he thought of him as insolent.

    “Do you think I could ever come and visit you when you go back to your grandfather? Don’t feel obliged. I know of your situation and I don’t blame your grandfather for being wary of people like me, but I would really like to see you in your element. I r-really would.” Augustus leaned back on his chair as soon as he realized that he had been leaning forward to hear Isa talk, and he insistently played with the stalk as his cheeks flared red, much like Lea’s did whenever Madeleine was in the room. Augustus was nothing like Lea. Though intelligent, he lacked Lea’s social skills, his charm, and stumbled over his words when he was in company that he didn’t know or who were not at all interested in the same subjects. A small step out of his comfort zone and Augustus became a walking disaster. Maybe that was the plague of intelligent people.

    “I make no promises, but I’ll talk to my grandfather and let you know how it goes. Deal?”

    “Deal!” Augustus eagerly grabbed the hand Isa offered him and shook it, his hold gentle and warm. “Isa, I…”

    Their attention was diverted by the suddenly cooing crowd that gathered around what had become a dancefloor. The small orchestra played a familiar waltz and the crowd clapped. Curious, Isa went to see what was happening, and just as he made his way through the crowd, he saw Lea elegantly swoosh by, leading Madeleine with him in a graceful dance. Impressive was just the first of it. Lea had never struck Isa as one to be able to move rhythmically. They had had many sessions of combat training where Isa tried to teach Lea how to fight, but Lea would almost always forget the moves and have Isa show him over and over again. There was none of that clumsiness now. Only delicate, rhythmic dancing.

    Isa caught Lea’s eye from across the room. Isa smiled softly, but Lea’s face darkened. It wasn’t until Augustus put his hand on Isa’s shoulder softly that Isa understood why. He sighed, wondering if it wasn’t about time for someone to tell him what had happened between the two.

    As soon as the waltz ended, the servants brought in the cake. The cake was a marvelous rendition of the castle, complete with towers and mosaic windows with religious themes. It was a reminder that Lea was in God’s grace and that with hard work he would be led down the road to this magnificent castle where he could work for the people and forever immortalize himself in becoming part of the foundation of their beloved city. Lea was more thrilled by the cake being chocolate inside than by the dream it represented.  He chopped up his piece with his dessert fork until the dark of the chocolate had made all colors of the castle disappear before he ate it.

    For the cake and coffee, everyone was allowed to sit wherever they pleased. At an event like this, Isa wouldn’t have minded his old spot, but Lea wanted to gather all the invitees of his age and have them sit by the fireplace on the colorful ottomans his mother had bought from a travelling salesman.

    “I heard from Catherine that you were planning some kind of protest against the School Board?” Madeleine said to Augustus. She seemed intrigued, her clear eyes wide with eagerness.

    Isa looked away from Lea who was currently preoccupied with stabbing his cake. The conversation took an interesting turn after having been nothing but gossip about who was most likely to marry whom and who was most likely to end up burning in Hell for recently committed sins. With all of their reviewing, discussing and evaluating, Isa imagined they left very little work to their God.

    “Yes. We are planning a protest to have the School Board remove the limit of admittance for girls to advanced courses in science. The idea was Isa’s and I’m just happy to be a part of it.” Augustus smiled and put his hand on Isa’s shoulder, just like he had done before. “We’re currently recruiting as many members as we can to our cause. The more the merrier. We have quite a few girls with us, although most have been reluctant to participate, afraid what it will do to their reputation. If you were to join, Madeleine, I’m certain many would follow your suit.”

    “So, we would get to participate in, say, Dr. Even’s classes?” Madeleine said ‘we’, but subconsciously brought her hand to her chest as if to point to herself.

    “That’s the plan. I know for a fact that Dr. Even doesn’t mind teaching girls, but the conservative School Board ties his hands and doesn’t allow him to admit girls in class on the grounds that girls aren’t prone to science and that it would be a waste of time. We say that is a discriminatory approach to have, do we not, Isa?”

    “Yes, we do,” Isa agreed.

    “What would I have to do?” Madeleine asked. “Are there meetings?”

    “You could come by our Astronomers’ Club meeting and we will sign you up and give you some literature. There will be some important dates announced and such. We are trying to keep it hush-hush for now to diminish the risk of being shut down.”

    “There’s literature?” Lea finally spoke and glared at Augustus. “You’re not afraid they’ll hang you in the gallows for spreading propaganda?”

    “Fear is but a fool’s excuse to do nothing,” Augustus said firmly and met Lea’s glare without cowering away. “I’ve learned many things listening to Isa,” Augustus told Madeleine, continuing as if he had not been deterred by Lea at all. “The most important thing being that I would rather die fighting for my rights and the rights of others than live my life on my knees, protecting nothing but wealth taken through bloodshed.” Augustus glanced at Lea discreetly, a small, proud smile on his lips when Lea clenched his jaw, staring at him with a glare that promised murder.

    Lea stood up. For a second, Isa was certain that Lea was going to punch Augustus in the jaw, but he walked up to Isa and pulled him up to his feet.

    “Isa, a word,” Lea said before he led Isa out of the room, to the kitchen and out to the small patio they used to get out of the house, unnoticed. The kitchen was full of servants and caterers that looked after them at seeing the birthday boy leaving his own party with Isa right behind.

    Lea stood with his back to Isa while he tried to catch his breath. He turned around before he had and pulled Isa in for a tight embrace, burying his face into the nape of Isa’s neck. Chills ran down Isa’s spine at feeling Lea’s warm breath so close to his skin. The shrilling accusation his mother had made against him rang in his ears and he hesitated in returning the hug until Lea pressed closer against him. Lea’s breathing evened out, but he didn’t let go.

    “Happy birthday, Lea,” Isa said at last.

    “It’s not yet,” Lea chuckled and stood back slightly, letting his arms fall to his sides with a defeated sigh. “I’ve got something for you.”

    “For me? But it’s your birthday.”

    “So it is.”

    Lea walked over to a small gravel box that stood under a big apple tree. He opened it and swiped away some of the gravel at the top to pull out a fairly large, oblong, wrapped gift. Isa stared in awe, thinking that there was no way he could give Lea the small present he had for him in his pocket.

    “Lea…”

    “Open it.”

    Isa looked at the flowery pattern of the wrapping paper. The question ‘why’ lingered on his tongue amongst many other questions. Lea’s generosity was a double-edged sword. It wasn’t free of terms and conditions. Lea gave to be liked. With the years they had spent together, Isa thought that Lea would have an inkling as to how much he liked him already. The gift lay exposed to the late summer air and Isa could only gape at it while Lea looked at him expectantly.

    “What do you think? Nice, huh?” Lea beamed.

    “It’s… a telescope? Lea,” Isa blinked, thinking the gift would transform into something else in his hands. “This is - I mean, I can’t -”

    “Of course you can. You’ll be out bustin’ extraterrestrials in no time and I’ll be your sidekick. We’ll blow their cover and free everyone from their evil regime.” Lea smiled weakly and glanced down on his black, shiny shoes. “If anything, you’ll look up at the sky, study the stars and think of me.”

    Had fate allowed, Isa would have taken Lea’s hands in his and looked him in the eye as he admitted to always thinking of Lea, reassuring him that he would always be present in his thoughts. No one could replace Lea, for Lea was his pillar, his guiding light, the sun in his sky. But fate didn’t allow it, and the words that Isa yearned to say died in his mouth at the sight of Mr. Ferris.

    “Lea,” Mr. Ferris said solemnly, his brow knitted and his stare cold. “What manners are these?”

    No other words were spoken. Lea followed his father back into the party while Isa stayed behind, holding Lea’s gift in his arms, confused. An insistent ache lingered in Isa’s chest. Isa didn’t see Lea for the rest of the night, instead he spent it in Augustus’ company, half-heartedly discussing issues while thinking on the telescope in his room and the birthday gift he had yet to give Lea. Before Isa went to bed that night, he snuck into Lea’s bedroom. He had wrapped the gift in a checkered tablecloth Isa had packed and he placed the small gift underneath Lea’s pillow.


	11. The Head of a Pin

* * *

Leon’s squad of policemen had been at Isa’s cell ten minutes earlier than they had agreed on. For procedural purposes, they said. The captain of the squad hadn’t explained to Isa where they were going or why. Isa hadn’t asked, and Lea had been trying to convince himself that if the squad hadn’t shown up earlier, he would’ve told Isa about the deal he had made with Leon. It hadn’t been possible to say anything about it before then, not unless he wanted to undo the unexpected change between them.

     Lea stood by one of King Mickey’s gummi ships, waiting for their end of the bargain. He paced back and forth and glanced past the fountain. Roxas had rounded the ship four times already before he settled down and watched Lea pace.

     “You okay?” Roxas asked and gave Lea a nudge with the tip of his shoe when Lea walked past him.

     “Me? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

     “You’ve zoned out. I think you’ve been locked up for too long. You gotta take a break every once in awhile, Lea. He’s not going anywhere.”

     “Yeah…” Lea smiled sheepishly, and fell back into silence.

     “Can I ask you something?” Roxas said.

     “Always.”

     “Why are you insisting on having him in your life?” Roxas asked cautiously, refraining from using Isa’s name. He was still reluctant to believe that there could be anything to Isa beside Saïx. “I mean, I understand, he was your best friend once, but… that was a long, _long_ time ago. He’s done so much harm to so many people since. You included. It just seems to me that you’re taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours to take. He should be punished for what he did. You shouldn’t feel like you should be punished with him.”

     Lea looked ahead to not have to look back at Roxas as he struggled for an answer.

     “I know. Roxas, I know. It's just… it’s not - I can’t explain it myself. It…” Lea sighed. Roxas was watching him intently from where he sat.  “When we were kids, our friendship was different. Innocent. Sometimes, when we’d get in trouble, he’d take the blame for me. He opened up my eyes to new things. Despite his grumpy grandad being on his case all the time.” Lea shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. The truth was darker.

     “But, you understand that there’s a difference between taking the blame for some shenanigans and downright murder, right? Lea,” Roxas put his hand on Lea’s shoulder to have Lea face him instead of looking down. “He ordered the second strike on Radiant Garden. He was here to make sure everything went according to plan. He wanted to level this city to the ground. And we still don’t know how many people are still gone because of what he did. That is something that happened recently, Lea. You can’t ignore that. Just, try to keep a safe distance from him. Please. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

     Lea smiled reassuringly at Roxas and let his gaze wander back to tiled ground. Roxas was right, Lea was aware of that much, but there was a part of him that refused to yield to the facts presented to him. Xehanort had played a grand role in Isa's change. Lea was certain that most of the vicious acts Isa had committed could be traced back to Xehanort's possession of him. It gave him hope about Isa. It made it easier to look at him.

     “You did the right thing, y’know,” Roxas continued, in hopes he would ease the apparent guilt reflected in Lea’s eyes. “This is a good deal, and Xion needs all the help she can get.”

     “You’re just firing shots in the dark now, aren’t ya?” Lea laughed at Roxas’ serious expression and reached his hand out to ruffle Roxas’ hair, but Roxas gracefully dodged it.

     “Well, you’re not talking to me, so what else can I do?” Roxas said and crossed his arms. “It’s never a good sign when you’re quiet.”

     “It’s nothing, alright?" Lea smiled. "I’m just focused. This is big and, I don’t know, we could actually make some progress today. So, you can butt out of my business and butt into the ship, we’re leaving soon.” Lea shoved Roxas playfully and got a pat on the shoulder. For a moment it seemed that Roxas would do as he was told and get into the ship. But Roxas was restless. He ran back out, as fast as he could, and jumped off the elevated ledge of the bay and onto Lea’s back. Lea stumbled forward with a loud curse as Roxas laughed and clung onto him.

     “You’re not on top of your game, Lea!”

     “You’re gonna break my back,” Lea laughed, but locked his arms around Roxas’ legs. He sprinted around the ship. The wind in his hair and the strain in his legs reminded him of how long he had been locked up with Isa. It was nothing short of terrifying how fast he adapted to confined spaces and strict rules; it was like a second nature to him. The abundance of energy he had accumulated made itself known now. The lingering gloomy feeling Lea knew from another life dissolved in Roxas’ earnest laughter. It served as a reminder. He had a brand new life with everything he wanted and fought hard to get.

     “Isn’t that Ienzo?” Roxas asked and had Lea freeze in his tracks.

     Two Royal Guards walked toward the ship with Ienzo between them.

     Lea dropped Roxas and stood up straight. Roxas had grown. He was nearly on par with Riku in terms of height. It made for quite a sight at gatherings. Ventus hadn’t aged a day, Roxas looked like his older brother. Sora tried to keep up with Roxas and Riku, but he hadn’t grown an inch since summer.

     “It’s great to see that you two haven’t lost the ability to have fun even in the darkest of moments,” was the first thing Ienzo said, his lips pursed into a thin smile.

     “And you still have your sense for drama intact,” Lea said in hopes to lighten up the sudden tense mood.

     Ienzo’s smiled brightly instead. “I do, yes. I guess there’s just something dramatic about being pulled out of work when I’m the only competent surgeon _and_ physician in a city with an incredible amount of sick people. Shall we?” Ienzo walked ahead of the guards with him as if they weren’t there. He sat down on a free seat and buckled up as Lea and Roxas followed behind dumbly.

     “You’re not cuffed,” Lea said after a moment.

     “I’m not imprisoned,” Ienzo said.

     “Just under close surveillance?”

     “No, I’m not, neither are my labs. Not that anyone would understand what we do there, even if we were supervised. It’s a safe haven.”

     “The Restoration Committee lets the labs go unsupervised?” Lea snickered sardonically.

     “Isa spends a lot of time there. Dr. Even pushed for a bill, giving Isa certain safe spaces; his cell and my labs.” Ienzo kept looking ahead. The machinery grumbled lowly as the rear entrance shut close and the ship prepared for take-off.

     “How fitting,” Lea clenched his fists. “Is that why you’re close with Isa? To keep the Restoration Committee away from your lab?”

     Ienzo turned to face Lea.

     “You’re mistaken. I want to redeem myself. I know what I did and what I’m responsible for, I also know that I’m the only who can hold myself responsible because there is no evidence against me. I enjoy using my knowledge to help as many people as I can, Isa included.” Ienzo leaned back into his seat with a loud sigh and brushed stray bangs back into place delicately. “You, on the other hand, are in this for your own sake, aren’t you?”

     “I’m not,” Lea said determinately.

     “But you are,” Ienzo reiterated. “Xion isn’t salvageable. She was one of many beta-versions of an experiment that Vexen didn’t get to finish. And yet, you’re willing to let, at the very least, five people die at the hands of inept doctors just to take me to wherever you’ve stored her, only to have me tell you the same thing Saïx told you a million times. She's of no use. Accept what you cannot change, Lea.”

     “Is that some group therapy mantra or something? I’ve been hearing it a lot.” Lea glared at Ienzo. “You’ll get to give your verdict when you see her. Until then, your opinion means nothing.”

-x-

Superintendent Leon and Assistant Superintendent Cloud, Isa remembered seeing them both a few weeks after his arrival to Radiant Garden. According to them, Isa had first been seen roaming the streets in the middle of the night, carrying a small bag of stolen bread. He had broken into a bakery and trashed the place until he found what he was looking for. The owner of the bakery had roused from the commotion and caught Isa red-handed, much to his misfortune. Isa had beaten him senseless before he escaped into the night. The manhunt went on for hours before Isa was found right by the shore, asleep in the shallow water.

     Isa clenched and unclenched his fists slowly. Superintendent Leon didn’t take any chances with him. Isa was cuffed twice over with regular cuffs and anti-magic ones. The reinforced carriage carried four special-op officers, and judging by the way Superintendent Leon was fidgeting with his coat, he was wearing a bulletproof vest. He had been the second to fall victim for Isa’s berserk seizures. It had taken a lot of manpower to get Isa under control that time. Isa didn’t remember it happening or how badly he had injured Superintendent Leon, only that Dr. Even liked to ask about it a lot.

     “Do you know how to use a gun….” Cloud paused as he glanced at his notes for the right name, “Isa?”

     “No.”

     “But you’ve used a weapon before?” Cloud continued.

     “A Claymore.”

     “You had an episode recently? Was it one of those ‘berserk seizures’?” Cloud looked up from his notes and looked straight at Isa with an icy look that dared him to lie.

     “It was a panic attack,” Isa replied, looking down at his hands again as he clenched and unclenched them. The cuffs were on too tight.

     “According to some papers Ienzo filed, you were hospitalized. It’s been awhile since he filed something like that for you.”

     Isa wet his lips nervously. “I tried to pull the decapitator off.”

     His confession caught the immediate attention of both Cloud and Leon. Isa cleared his throat to explain, fixating his gaze onto a light spot on the seat in front of him.

     “I don’t remember trying to pull it off, only that when I woke up, I was red and swollen around the - the contraption. Ienzo was there when it happened, so he told me. Test results were normal, or as they’ve been since I got here. It was just a mental thing, what happened.” Isa glanced up at them briefly.

     They were eager to know whether there was any Xehanort left in Isa. They protected Radiant Garden with everything they had, and if they could stop Isa from harming anyone else, they wouldn’t hesitate to push the button that would sever Isa’s throat in the blink of an eye. They had also the final word on what freedoms Isa should be granted. Officially, at least. Dr. Even and Ienzo had a knack of getting their way through their extensive knowledge in all bureaucratic matters.

     “What are these ‘tea parties’ that Ienzo invites you to?” Cloud asked, leaning back in his seat.

     “It’s exactly what it sounds like, a tea party. We drink tea and eat biscuits. We were granted permission for that. Dr. Even has all the original paperwork.”

     “I’m sure he does,” Cloud said thoughtfully as he flipped through his notes. “Do you know where we’re going?”

     “No.” Isa was tied to his seat to restrain him as much as possible should he have another one of his ‘seizures’. He couldn’t see out the windows or even recognize the silhouette of the passing buildings outside. “But there are a lot of former Nobodies around here,” he added.

     “We’re in Sector Seven. Home to many of your old friends. Care to guess why you’re here?” Cloud put his notes away and glared at Isa who shook his head. “There’s been a murder here related to the Heartless, and we think that the victim might be known to you. We need you to take a look at the scene of the crime and tell us what you see. Maybe you can recognize the scent of the perpetrator.”

     Isa sunk into his seat, rubbing his wrists above the tight fitted handcuffs.

     “Does Dr. Even know about where we’re going?” Isa’s mouth was dry.

     “Don’t worry about it, Isa. This is all legal. Not even Dr. Even will get you out of this one.” Cloud’s tone was serious and his glare penetrating.

     There were only two places in the whole of Radiant Garden that Dr. Even and Ienzo had recommended for Isa: the castle and the correction facility. Having Isa wander the streets was not only a threat for citizens, but for Isa, too. Former Nobodies could recognize him and take justice into their own hands. No one would blame them if they did. Saïx had been cruel to the lesser Nobodies, especially toward the end of his transformation.

     The first rocks hit against the coach as soon as they made it down the main road of Sector Seven. The angered screams came soon thereafter, muffled by the constant, hard thumps of rock against the windows. They didn’t need to see him to recognize him.

     “Superintendent, we’re here,” said a man over the radio.

     Leon pulled a receiver from his shoulder to reply.

     “How’s the situation looking?” Leon asked.

     “Manageable for now. More people are gathering. I’ve called for backup.”

     “Alright. Form two lines up to the doorway and give us the all clear when you’re ready.”

     “Copy that.”

     Leon put the small black receiver back onto his shoulder pad and gestured for Cloud to continue with the proceedings.

     Isa tensed when Cloud pulled a black linen bag over his head, but he didn’t struggle. He could scarce swallow, his lips felt chapped and his legs heavy at the thought of having to walk out there. Some of it was the fear of not being in control. Isa knew their presence. The lesser Nobodies had been a collective essence of power he could dig into at will without consequence. That same power was still present, only now it wasn’t Isa’s for the taking. It had transformed into inextinguishable anger directed to the next best thing after Xehanort.

     The carriage had been well isolated from sound. The yelling and screaming erupting from the gathering crowd was deafening once they stepped outside. It nearly rid Isa’s knees of all their strength as he was led ahead, pulled forward by Cloud’s grip on the handcuffs, blind to the fury in the faces of the multitude of people he had wronged.

     “Keep on walking unless you want to be ripped to pieces,” Leon said, unconcerned.

     Isa was led into a half built house. The roof was a large plastic sheet with cuts from where rainwater dropped into the house, slowly eroding the wooden floor. Isa shivered as Cloud pulled the bag off his head and allowed him to take in the sight he had passed by on the tramcar everyday since he got here. It was more depressing from the inside than from afar.

     “Won’t they be able to get in here?” Isa asked, worry clear in his voice.

     “Probably, which is why you should get to work as quickly as possible,” Cloud said as he looked around.

     Isa took a deep breath in hopes to calm himself long enough to ignore the people outside. It was what he needed. Sector Seven reeked of lingering darkness, but everyone had a different scent; one that belonged to certain types of lesser Nobodies, and then there was the smell of the worst of abominations; members of the Organization. The deep breath helped him catch wind of the latter.

     Isa frowned. Two of them had been here recently. One scent was fainter than the other. The faint one was nearby this very moment. He glanced outside. It had been a while since he had picked up on this scent, making him think that it had to be someone who had died early on. The other one was much more familiar, one Isa wouldn’t be able to forget even if he tried. The message on the wall left no doubt as to who it was Isa was picking up on.

_RENDEZVOUS AT YOUR PLACE, CHUCKLES. DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING._

     Isa diverted his gaze and looked around the room once more. Neither Cloud nor Leon seemed to have caught him staring at the wall in front of him longer than usual. They were distracted by the insistent yelling outside.

     “There’s a former Organization-member here somewhere,” Isa found himself saying aloud.

     “Where? Who?” Leon asked with urgency.

     “I don’t know who. But I think they may be in the crowd somewhere.”

    Leon reached for his receiver to give his crew orders while Cloud hurried to Isa to put the black bag over his head and escort him back to the coach. He grabbed him by the arm first, leading him closer to the doorway while he pulled the black bag out of his pocket. Isa caught a glance of the crowd, the yelling disappearing into the background as he saw a familiar face in the sea of rage; Larxene.

-x-

The trip to the Land of Departure had felt endless with only the sound of the motors to entertain them.  Ienzo had stared ahead, his hands clasped on his lap, looking like a well-behaved but obviously passive-aggressive teenager waiting for one reason to come with one, deep-cutting retort that would definitely set the mood for the rest of the trip. It was no wonder he was getting along swimmingly with Isa, Lea thought. Once on the ground and the backdoor open, Ienzo got out of his seat, leaving the two Royal Guards that had come with him in their seats. The guards didn’t seem to mind in the least.

     Lea was going to comment on it when he caught Roxas side-eyeing them, but then he remembered, Ienzo wasn’t a prisoner, and even if he was, everything he cared for was back in Radiant Garden. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his position as head of the labs.

     “Castle Oblivion,” Ienzo said with a snort when Lea and Roxas walked up behind him. “It’s a bit more colorful than I remember it. Care to break the seal on the door so we can get this over with?”

     Yen Sid had changed the spell for this visit since he could not attend himself. Lea mumbled it quietly to himself three times and placed his hand on the door and Roxas followed his suit. The seal broke and Ienzo walked in before either Roxas or Lea had pulled their hands from the door.

     “If you think this fort will keep Xion safe, I have news for you,” Ienzo said, hands behind his back as he led them down the corridor to where Xion was as if the way there had been marked with signs. “You don’t know how she was created, her functions, you’re messing with powers you don’t understand.”

     “As did you,” Lea retorted quickly.

     “I learned my lesson. Considering you spent a good ten years partaking in that lesson, I thought you had learned one, too.” Ienzo turned a corner, making it seem like he knew the castle like the back of his hand.

     “Don’t talk about Xion like she’s a robot, she’s not,” Roxas said earning a glance from Ienzo.

     “Xion was a fragment of a memory, enhanced by Vexen. The purposes were many. One was to keep Sora from waking up. A second was to assure we had a Keyblade-wielder on our side. A third was to see how far we could go with clones. A fourth was back-up. Sora was used for information storage, like a computer. Xion had a similar ability. Whatever you think you have encapsulated, isn’t human. I think the trace I’m following is certain proof of that.”

     “What trace?” Roxas asked as he looked around for anything abnormal, but the hallways looked exactly like he remembered them.

     “Erratic trails of darkness. She’s been trying to get out.”

     “How do you know that it’s not someone who’s been trying to get in?” Lea asked.

     “Traces of full open portals don’t look like this. These look like she’s been trying to open a portal every other second but only managed to create portals the size of the head of a pin. The trails stretch like capillaries through the corridors to the foyer.” Ienzo rounded the last corner and pulled the doors aside to step into the room where Xion resided. He froze by the threshold, staring wide-eyed at the phenomena that were invisible to both Roxas and Lea.

     “What is it?” Roxas asked, sticking his head in to have a look himself.

     “One of you, go back to the gummiship and tell the guards to bring Aeleus here with my kit.”

     “You didn’t bring one with you?” Lea asked, crossing his arms.

     “Not a kit for this. And I need Aeleus to assist me.”

     “Roxas, go. I’ll stay here.”

     “Hurry,” Ienzo added before Roxas disappeared around the corner.

     “You’re gonna tell me what the kit is for?” Lea asked when Ienzo took one cautious step into the room, gulping as he looked from one corner to another and then at the container in the middle of the room.

     “I don’t know what you’ve got here, Lea, but whatever it is, it’s got intention. There are four exit portals around the container. Judging by the trail, they’ve been open for some time. If the portals have been used, then that means that a bodyless consciousness hasn’t only created portals of darkness, but travelled as well. I only know of one person who’s been able to do that.”

     Lea looked back at the container where they had stored the last of Xion. The lightning crackled against the glass as if it was trying to communicate, maybe defend itself against Ienzo’s yet unspoken accusation. Lea only knew of one person, too, and he didn’t like Ienzo’s insinuation at all. It was Xion in that container, not Xehanort.

 


	12. 4-40

* * *

At nine, the lights went off for the prisoners at Radiant Garden’s correction facility. The city’s unreliable power source and the increase of demand made the lights flicker throughout the day. The facility had a back-up generator that Cid had created and tried to constantly improve, but he was just one engineer in a city where past commodities were in a steep decline. He could only do so much before the state of their city caught up with him. The guards had implemented seals that worked with magic. They had been said to be unreliable once upon a time, but no one could afford to be picky these days.

     Isa sat on the edge of his bed, listening if there were any guards pacing around. With electricity and magic being what they were today, guards were needed as an extra precaution. He hadn’t seen Lea since the police had come by earlier that day, and Isa didn’t think he’d be back, at least not for today.

     He rose to his feet slowly, glancing at the small window on his door. He was free to move as he wished inside his cell, but considering what he was about to do, he would prefer it if anyone out there thought him to be asleep. The air grew thicker and wavered like heat escaping asphalt on a hot summer day. With quick steps he walked over to the bathroom and closed the door quietly after himself, leaning his back against the door to let out a breath. A large black portal appeared in his bathtub. The smoke that emerged from within it, licked the tile and the ceiling, emitting a small, vibrating sound akin to that of fluorescent lights.

     Many would think Isa stupid for even thinking of meeting up with Xigbar, but Xigbar could answer questions about Xehanort and his possession that no one else could. Xigbar had been around longer. His transformation had started before Isa’s, and if he had somehow managed to escape unscathed, there was still hope.

     It hadn’t been too long since he had used the portals as doors to anywhere. He didn’t fear them. Isa locked the bathroom door and stepped right on through, without a thought of where he might end up. The electrifying sensation of darkness had him shiver. The walk through the portal lasted but a second yet it was enough to remind him of the darkness that had surged in him for so many years. It had given him strength when all seemed hopeless.

     The dark portal disappeared behind him as soon as he was out, collapsing into itself, barely leaving smoke in its sudden collapse. Isa frowned. That was something that used to happen to him when he first learned how to open those.

     The gawk of a bird brought Isa’s attention to his surroundings. He was in a glade in an otherwise thick forest. The grass covered his feet, unkempt as it was. The dark made it difficult to see ahead, but Isa walked forward until he felt the soil turn to a thin, tiled road that was hidden underneath the long grass. Isa followed it, his heart picking up pace by the familiarity of the tile against the soles of his feet. A gust of wind ruffled his bangs in front of his eyes and delayed his reaction by half a second when he laid eyes on a red house at the end of the path. Isa froze.  The small, newer addition built in red-colored wood caught Isa’s attention before the rest of the house did. He brushed his bangs back and glanced back to where the portal had disappeared.

     The trees were a lot bigger than he remembered them. They obscured the view of the usually spotlighted castle and the brightly shining lanterns on every gate into the city. This could very well be a dream or an illusion of ill taste. Considering who he was meeting up with, the latter wouldn’t come as a surprise.

     Isa walked up to the sturdy front door. He didn’t pull the door open. He stopped by it, closing his eyes as he slid his hand over the worn out planks, feeling the flakes of white color peel off under his touch. This house was more than a dream to him. He was certain that it had existed at one point in time and that it had been a great part of his life before it was taken from him.

     “What are you to me, house?” Isa hummed quietly.

     He opened the door, cringing at the loud noise it made. Isa had to pull the door open all the way before he walked inside. The wood squeaked underneath his feet. Dust pounced up in the air as the door slammed close behind Isa and made the house creak as it settled. The entrance had once been a regular foyer, but walls had been knocked down to create a humble diner in a big room to his right, complete with a counter and a showcase for other items. Some stools by the counter had been knocked over. There were still jars on the shelves behind the counter, broken dishes on some of the tables, cutlery on the floor, as if people had gone up and left this room recently.

     “Home sweet home,” Xigbar said in a raspy voice from where he sat by one of the tables. Whiskers of smoke rose from his feet and up over the table.

     “Are you leaving already?” Isa asked sternly.

     “Pay no attention to my current aesthetics, Chuckles. Sit down so that we can have a proper conversation. How has normalcy treated you?” Xigbar smirked as Isa sat down in front of him. “I see the good guys caved to Ansem's less conventional gimmicks. You finally got a collar." Xigbar stretched his arms over his head. "Yeah, strays frighten people. There’s gotta be order, right? Too bad they didn’t get you one in a proper color. You look a little bleak.”

     “And you look smokey.”

     “I didn’t quite get to the physical stage you’re in. Seems like I was much more Xehanort than I thought. With the old coot gone, this is all there’s left; a ghost.”

     “So we’re in a dimension for ghosts?” Isa asked, unamused.

     Xigbar laughed.

     “We are not.” Xigbar leaned back in his seat, scratching his chin. “Were you dropped on your head when darkness let you loose? You don’t remember this place?”

     “No.”

     “I’ve gotta admit, Chuckles, I was surprised to see this old shack standing with Radiant Garden cracked in two, but old man Svonni put a lot of heart and soul into this place. Guess not even the Heartless could destroy something like that.” Xigbar leaned forward, the smoke moving with him, some making it to Isa’s face. Isa wrinkled his nose.

     “Do you remember old man Svonni?” Xigbar asked. “Pretty tall dude, had a full set of grey hair by the time he was forty-five because a certain daughter of his proved to be a little loose and brought home a giant baby named Chuckles. Any bells ringing?”

     “It surprises me that you think I’d just buy anything you say, considering our history,” Isa said calmly. “Break the illusion already and show me where we really are. How’d you break free from Xehanort?”

     “Break free? The old coot's will is like glitter; once it’s out, it’s everywhere and will never go away. Exhibit A,” Xigbar pointed at himself and snickered. “I’m a ghost, Chuckles, and we’re still in Radiant Garden.”

     “Ghost?” Isa repeated, incredulously. It sounded even weirder the second time around.

     “It’s not all it’s been cracked up to be. I got caught at the End of the World. I wandered around like an idiot. I was a chain short of being a ridiculous ghost story.”

     “Right.”

     “Someone was opening portals. I never saw anyone, so I thought it was the old coot, working a plan D he hadn’t informed me about. Took me forever to catch a ride, though. The portals weren’t open for long. And I ended up in an unfortunate place.” Xigbar sneered.

     “You didn’t open the portal that led me here?” Isa frowned.

     Xigbar laughed. “I thought you still had the juice to open portals, Chuckles. Are you telling me Lady Luck brought you here? Maybe this is part of the bigger plan. But, oh well, Chuckles, you’ll do just fine. I called you out here for a couple of reasons.”

     “I’m not doing you any favors,” Isa crossed his arms.

     “This used to be home to you. I think you feel that. But it’s all a blur. Darkness does do that.”

     "How would you know what was home to me?" Isa scowled at Xigbar's certainty.

     "We go way back, you and I. We didn't take just anybody off the streets. Xehanort wasn't that careless. Not at first, anyway. He did get a little carried away with the experimenting at one point, but that's neither here nor there. I was a regular here. Me and a couple of other guards. Old man Svonni was the only one who knew how to serve deer."

     Isa glared at Xigbar. Nothing of what he was saying triggered any memories. The house was maybe only familiar to him for what he had seen in his dreams. He had only seen it from the outside. The counter, the tables, the whole room, as much as he wanted to recognize it, he felt nothing.

     "Don't worry about it, Chuckles. You'll get there. Anyway, I need you to do me a couple of favors. First, I need you to set me up with Four-eyes and his Mini-me. I want a definite answer on whether this ghost gig is permanent or not."

     "I told you, I'm not doing you any favors," Isa said and rose to his feet to leave.

     "You will, Chuckles. When you start remembering Svonni, the deer, this place - it'll be a slow process on your own. You'll want someone to help you along. There's no one alive who knew Svonni like I did."

     Isa turned on his heel and was almost by the door when Xigbar spoke again.

     "You know why Xehanort s'got such a hold on you?" Xigbar paused and waited for Isa to step away from the door to look back at him. "You were quick to give up on your memories. Without them, you're broken, Chuckles, and Xehanort was, is, free to fill in the blanks. You lack identity, and he'll wear you to prom again if you don't find yourself before he does."

     "... how, how do I know you're not making things up?”

     "That's easy." Xigbar's grin looked wicked even in the dim light. "It's not in my interests to mess with your mind. At least, not for now."

     "And what, you'll give me a warning when there's a change of plan?" Isa asked, sarcastically.

     "If you don't believe me, I'll give you proof. Ask Four-eyes to show you the 4-40 file. Watch him stutter for a good minute and ask again."

     "The old files were lost in the in the First Fall. The remains were ruined in the fires," Isa said with certainty.

     "Sure they were, Chuckles. Just do as you're told and let me know time and date for my appointment."

     “Did you kill that man in the slums?” Isa asked.

     Xigbar barely suppressed a laugh at the sudden question. “So what if I did?”

     “Why would you kill him? Did he know something?”

     “I think ignorance killed him, which is ironic considering how they say ignorance is bliss.” Xigbar sighed loudly at the glare Isa shot him. “Fine, Chuckles. I killed the guy and because you’re such a jewel who will speak to Four-Eyes for me, I’ll let you in on a secret. He summoned me.”

     “With magic?”

     “With some sort of magic. I appeared in the middle of markings on the floor he had made with fire needles. I think I even saw a bowl of offerings. Apparently, he was looking for a demon and got something a lot worse.”

     “Why did you kill him?”

     “Like I said, ignorance killed him. He summoned a demon to ask for a couple of favors only he recognized me and tried to blackmail me into doing his bidding. Me!” Xigbar laughed. “Long story short, he died and I’m not gonna lie. The blood sacrifice did a lot more for my strength than that bowl of fruits. Why do you ask, Chuckles? We’re you sad that the man died?”

     “No. The police think I did it.”

     “Well, you would’ve if you’d seen the shitty fruit. Did you know Larxene’s knocking about that area?”

     “Yeah, I saw her.”

     “I’ve been trying to get in touch, but seems like our communication paths of darkness are not working properly. I’ve been getting interference. Someone’s blocking my way out to this realm and I’m starting to suspect it’s the security system. So get me an appointment with the doctor.”

     “I’ll talk to Dr. Even and Ienzo,” Isa said. He didn’t mind acting the messenger. Whether Xigbar got help or not, was not up to him.

     “Don’t forget, Chuckles. 4-40.”

     The smoke around Xigbar swirled around him until he was gone and in his wake a portal of darkness for Isa to go back to his cell.

-x-

The guards could not come soon enough. Isa had no way of contacting anyone from within his cell. He had to ask for phone privilege every time he needed to use one, and he could only hope that the guards didn't feel like messing with him today. If they did, he'd be lucky to get his phone call by the end of the week. Fortunately, Isa didn’t have to wait for the long. Three guards came by early in the morning with urgency.

     "You'll be dispatched to your office after breakfast," said one guard while the other two made sure Isa was cuffed properly.

     "Cid gave the orders. A new shipment of documents has arrived and they seemed important."

     Isa had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. He had heard that before and he had yet to come across an 'important' document that wasn't a testament to how incredibly boring bureaucratic work could be. With any luck, this shipment contained Demyx's phase of drawing mind maps on his reports.

     An hour later, Isa was at his office, looking at the full boxes propped around the small space. He had his work cut out for him for a few months. Isa didn't touch a sheet of paper. He waited for five minutes before walking out of his office and to the elevator with the insistent beeping ever present. The elevator ride to the basement floor was the furthest thing from his mind. He forgot to wait for the small rise and fall in the pit of his stomach when the elevator came to a halt. The file Xigbar had mentioned was all he could think about. It was categorized after the old system, King Ansem’s system. The initial number was the grade of importance, a scale from zero to five. The second number was a secondary categorization system and could consist of up to four digits. Mostly it was to determine what section of the city the file was about, age, and relevant background. The shorter the number, the more personally linked to the Royal Court.

     Ienzo was nowhere to be found, not even Aeleus was around. Isa decided to sit down by a high white table with adjustable height in the main laboratory where Ienzo spent most time of his. He was probably at the East Wing that had been turned into a hospital after the small medical practices failed to meet the demand of the ever growing number of patients. Ienzo had been made Chief of Medicine almost as soon as the hospital had opened. Aeleus was his assistant although he refused to take any official title. Isa vaguely remembered being there. He had been transferred to a nearby lab when it became apparent that he was a threat to the other patients. Isa glanced at the bubbling liquid in one of Ienzo’s more complex devices on the other side of the room. Ienzo was doing great things for this city. He worked hard every day for the greater good.  It wasn’t long ago that he had rediscovered the mixture of herbs that would help people with respiratory problems.

     The multitude of construction sites and the lack of good infrastructure kept a certain amount of dust and sand circulating in the air. People in the slums were the ones that ran the highest risks of contracting respiratory problems due to the poor circulation of air in the densely built sectors. The medicine had been fairly cheap to produce, and with the help of Dr. Even they had been able to save and improve the quality of hundreds of lives.

     Some days Isa envied Ienzo’s passion for science. It didn’t seem to matter where he was as long as he could do research and find ways to improve the lives of the very same people he had once taken part in harming. There was no doubt in Isa’s mind that Ienzo worked to ease his guilt, but however great that guilt may be, Ienzo never let it deter him. He found strength in his guilt. Isa seemed to lack that capability.

     Isa looked out the large windows to see Ienzo hurry down the hallway and unlock a door to a mainly empty room. Four guards in hazard suits walked by, carrying large yellow boxes. Isa stepped out to the hallway to get a better look and got a quick wave from Ienzo before he turned to instruct the guards as to where they could leave the boxes while Aeleus got out of the elevator, carrying an additional box.

     “Do we need to be disinfected?” One guard asked, his voice distorted.

     “No. You’re in suits because you’re all scaredy cats. Just get out of the room, take the suits off and leave them in the room next door. You’re relieved.” Ienzo waved them off to the other room with a loud sigh.

     Isa wrinkled his nose just as Aeleus closed the door behind him and wafted the smell out in the hallway.

     “Now, now,” Ienzo said, amused at seeing Isa. “Let’s not fall into old habits, Isa.”

     “What’s in there?”

     “Xion. Or traces of her. I need to take some tests to determine whether it’s her or if we’re dealing with something else entirely.”

     "Xion, huh?" Isa said quietly.

     It would explain why the police officers had felt certain about taking Isa to Sector Seven without any repercussions. Lea had traded him for Ienzo. It didn't come as a surprise. Lea wanted to save Xion, Isa was taking too long in finding Vexen's diary. Ienzo was the next best thing.

     "How's your day been? Have you slept well? You look a little tired," Ienzo commented as he took a penlight out of his front pocket and walked up closer to Isa. "I'm just going to check your pupils' reaction to light really quick, alright?"

     Isa stood still as Ienzo performed his test.

     "I went to Sector Seven," Isa said just as Ienzo stood back and put his penlight back into his pocket.

     "You what?" Ienzo frowned.

     "The police officers wanted me to see a crime scene."

     Ienzo glanced down the hallway and led Isa back into a private room with Aeleus right behind.

     "How did the citizens react?" Ienzo asked, motioning for Isa to sit down.

     "Badly," was all Isa said.

     "You weren't hurt, were you? Any panic attacks? How are you feeling now? Any dizziness? Do you want something to drink?" Ienzo bit at the side of his lower lip and crossed his arms.

     Aeleus offered Ienzo a seat and patted his back briefly.

     "They've got another thing coming," Ienzo continued, tightening the cross of his arms. "Did anything happen?"

     "Xigbar had left a message on the wall. It was invisible to them and I didn't tell them about it. I saw him. He wants to meet with you and Dr. Even."

     Ienzo's eyes widened and he dropped his arms to his sides in awe.

     "You met with Xigbar?"

     "Yeah. He opened a dark portal for me and I ended up in a house he claims used to be my home."

     "Isa, this is great news! If Xigbar made it, and he wants to meet, we could harvest antibodies from him and study the effects darkness has had – and maybe we could even screen you and rid you off any remains of Xehanort." Ienzo beamed, taking almost ten years off his complexion and showing the face of the child he could have been. “Do you have a way of contacting him?”

     “He wants to meet with you because he hasn’t been able to take on a physical form. He may show up randomly. I didn’t get much details.”

     The badly veiled look of disappointment on Ienzo’s face was enough for Isa to wish that he could sound more concerned about what he was saying. Finding antibodies would have changed so much for the better. Ienzo would have had more material to work with in order to understand the new complications the Returnees were suffering from. But with everything that had happened, Isa just didn’t believe in miracles anymore.

     “Yeah, sure,” Ienzo said. “I’d love to learn more about his condition, and if I find something that could help, I’ll make sure he gets it.”

     “And Dr. Even?”

     “Well, that might be a little trickier. They didn’t quite get along. But I’ll see what I can do. I’m sure Dr. Even’s curiosity will get the best of him. Speaking of Dr. Even, Isa, I want you to go and see him as soon as possible.” Ienzo pulled out his stationery notepad from his lab coat pocket and scribbled a note onto it.

     “Why? I’ve already been scheduled for a session in two weeks. He said he was dealing with standardized tests. I'm sure Dr. Even is busy.”

     “You were exposed to a hateful mob, Isa, and your lack of a reaction to that is worrisome to me. Whether it’s because you cannot bring yourself to care or if you're bottling up your feelings doesn’t matter because both are bad signs.”

     “It wasn’t that bad,” Isa sighed.

     “I find that hard to believe. Here. Take this and show it to Cid. I’ll call Dr. Even and make sure he knows that he’s expecting an important phone call.”

     “Okay.”

     Isa rose to his feet. Considering what Ienzo had waiting for him in the other room, Isa was more than certain that this was his cue to go back to work. He was by the doorway when Ienzo spoke again.

     “Isa, I’ll make sure they don’t take you there again. Whatever you think of it now, it was wrong of them to endanger you, and I hope you come to that realization, too. Self-preservation is important."

     Isa nodded as he scratched at the door frame absentmindedly. The perfect coat of white reminded him of the front door of the house in his dreams and the flakes of paint that had come off when he had run his hands against it.

     "Are you familiar with the file 4-40?" Isa asked. He got a subtly surprised look from Aeleus who found it convenient to walk over to the other side of the room.

     "4-40?" Ienzo repeated thoughtfully. "That's an old file. Most of Ansem's old files were lost in the fires and those I've seen had four digit names. Why?"

     "Dr. Even didn't copy the files?"

     "Not to my knowledge. I could ask him if you want. Does the file contain important information?"

     "I don't know yet."

-x-

Cloud and Leon had been waiting for Lea and Roxas when they got back from the Land of Departure. Considering that Lea had Ienzo in his care, he thought the two policemen were there to escort Ienzo back to the castle as soon as they possibly could, but that was a task left for the guards. Lea and Roxas were escorted to the police station with urgency and a promise of proof that would 'change everything.’

     The room they were taken to was dark and had a damp smell. A female officer named Claire greeted them and asked them to gather around the computer she was sitting by.

     "We took Saïx to Sector Seven, to where the latest murder occurred," Leon began as Claire opened up a program to view video footage. "We set up surveillance before he got there, and to be honest, I didn't think we would get anything, but we struck gold. Run the clip, Claire."

     The video feedback was somewhat grainy, but there was no doubt as to who was being filmed.

     "There was a mob outside, which is why Saïx keeps looking outside. See?" Leon pointed out Isa's reaction with a pen.

     "A mob?" Roxas asked surprised. "How did they know he'd be there?"

     "Seems to be a vessel and darkness thing. Those at the scene were all former Nobodies. They can smell Saïx three miles away. They were on the cab as soon as we turned into Sector Seven. He's gotta reek."

     "You gonna show us the golden proof or what?" Lea asked, barely containing his annoyance.

     "Patience," Leon said, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Saïx is told to look for proof, and look here. It's subtle, but enough to watch him slip."

     Isa looked around and suddenly turned his attention to the floor. A second later he glanced at Leon and Cloud as if to determine whether they were observing him or not. They weren't, and so he looked up at the wall in front of him. It all happened fast, but as Leon said, it was there.

     "What did he see?" Roxas asked curiously and leaned in closer to the screen to see if there was anything he was missing.

     Cloud handed Leon a large envelope and Leon emptied it of its contents. A small bunch of photos depicting the scene of the crime from various angles.

     "We didn't know what we were looking for until Saïx slipped. We went back and reviewed the photos after we discovered this and after using different effects on the photos, this is what we found." Leon held up a photo of the wall Isa had looked at. There was a message scribbled there, urging for a meet-up.

     "I assume you know who wrote this?" Leon asked Lea and Roxas.

     "Chuckles..." Roxas said thoughtfully. "I can't remember if I've heard anyone being called that."

     "Do you know who wrote it?" Lea turned the question. His mouth was dry. A cold shiver had run down his spine at seeing the ironic nickname.

     "We had to cross reference it with the diary entries that have been catalogued. Again, I didn't think we'd find anything, but Cloud seems to be allergic to sleep. The only other member of the Organization to call Saïx 'Chuckles' was Xigbar, one of the more dangerous members who we have yet to find. What makes this finding all the more interesting is that Saïx denied finding anything on-site. Why would he protect an enemy of Radiant Garden? Any ideas?" Leon asked in a nonchalant manner as if he had already found an answer he was comfortable with.

     "I think you're jumping to conclusions," Lea said sternly.

     "I think you're too close to this case, Lea. There's conclusive evidence that Saïx is colluding with Xigbar. Our objective is to find and apprehend all of the culprits who have brought this city to its knees. You should share that objective with us considering that you now belong with the Keyblade-wielders and not with Organization XIII."

     "Are you questioning my loyalty?"

     Roxas was quick to place a calming hand on Lea’s arm discreetly. It wasn’t Saïx he was mouthing off to anymore. This was the Superintendent of Radiant Garden, their ally. It was imperative to upkeep good relations for their cooperation to be fruitful, something that Lea found easy to forget.

     “What do you intend to do with this evidence?” Roxas asked to get the conversation back on track.

     “For one, it will invalidate Saïx’s current status as a person of interest who is under ‘close supervision’. He will be arrested on allegations of conspiracy to murder, accessory to murder and obstruction of justice,” said Leon.

     “You’ll officially make him a prisoner,” Lea scoffed. “What stopped you before?”

     “We don’t have precedents of genocide, which makes the whole court procedure a little more complicated than it already is with our limited resources,” Cloud cut in sternly, sarcasm permeating each word.

     “I don’t understand. What will change exactly? Won’t you keep him locked up like now?” Roxas asked.

     “The former Organization-members won’t be able to meddle with the decisions the Restorations Committee makes in regards to Saïx anymore.  As a person of interest, he’s been entitled to certain comforts that we don’t give to prisoners. Demands have been made on his behalf on top on what he’s received already, and all extra expenses have been paid by Radiant Garden’s taxpayers, all the while we have victims of his tyranny without a roof over their heads, living on bare minimum, if even that.” Leon stared back at Lea. “Saïx currently provides nothing of importance to the rebuilding of Radiant Garden, unlike Ienzo and Dr. Even. The work he does now can be done as community service. We’ve had prisoners do a lot more for a lot less. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you, Lea, for your cooperation. I may doubt your loyalty on occasion, but at the end of the day, you always deliver, and we wouldn’t have been able to catch him had you not been on our side.”

     Leon reached his hand out to Lea and had to wait a few long seconds while Lea glared back at him. A nudge from Roxas had Lea take Leon’s hand, making his sell-out official.

 


	13. Denial

* * *

The cell seemed much bigger now that he knew where Leon wanted to imprison Isa. He would be taken to another facility, one overfull with criminals that were worth no spending, in a jail cell covered in protective magic, until trial. No one knew about it yet. Leon wanted to secure the case to make it airtight, even from Dr. Even and Ienzo who he feared were the greatest threats to this opportunity of justice.

     Lea sat down on the couch in Isa’s cell and rubbed his eyes tiredly. It had been naïve of him to think that anything would get easier after Xehanort’s downfall. Thoughts raced through Lea’s head as he sat there waiting for Isa to come back from the castle, and every idea he could think of involved escaping from Radiant Garden to another world where they could live without the past haunting them. But the thought of leaving Roxas made the idea much too painful.

     At five, the heavy door was pushed open and Isa was led inside by two armed guards. Lea rose to his feet, fixing his shirt to give his hands something to do while the two guards left.

     “Hi.” Lea smiled.

     “Hi.”

     Isa paced around the room and stopped by the barred window. Raindrops pattered against the window, and the silence stretched between them. The knot of nervousness twisted in the pit of Lea’s stomach. He walked up to Isa, hands in his pockets.

    “You had a lot of work today? I heard that the forensics came by and dropped a load of documents.  I guess most of it ended up in your office?”

    “Yeah.”

    “You wanna go somewhere? We don’t have to stay here.” Lea chewed at his upper lip impatiently. Isa didn’t turn around to look at him, not even a sideway glance that said it was a stupid idea. Maybe Isa knew. Ienzo had probably gone straight to him as soon as he could to tell Isa that he had been taken to the Land of Departure. It was all Isa would need to figure out how he had ended up in Sector Seven. There was only one instance higher than Dr. Even, after all.

    “Isa?”

    “Do you remember a red a house? It was out in the woods.”

    “Yeah… it – you used to live there with your mom and your grandfather. Why?”

    “Svonni,” Isa said thoughtfully. “I met with Xigbar yesterday.”

    “W-what?” Lea almost choked on air at the casual confession.

    “He took me to the red house out in the woods and said he could help me remember, that if I found myself, Xehanort would lose his grip on me. For once, I don’t think he was lying. He has no reason to. He wants Ienzo and Dr. Even to help him become human and for that he may need my help.”

    “Isa, if you want help remembering, I can help you. I was there. More than Xigbar ever was.”

    “Would it be wise to trust you?”

    A twinge in Lea’s chest had him grab Isa by his arm to turn him around. This was their second chance. Lea refused to believe that he had been this quick to ruin it for them.

    A cold look from Isa was all it took for Lea to let go of Isa’s wrist, albeit unwillingly. The memory of holding Isa close made his heart leap in his chest with the need of getting to do it again.

    “I didn’t have a choice…” Lea began, his mouth dry.

    “You seldom do.” Isa’s voice was calm, but his eyes gave away a flicker of emotion that Lea couldn’t read.

    “Isa, listen, it was urgent. We don’t know how much time Xion has left and I couldn’t decline the offer of getting Ienzo to look into it. If I had had any other choice, believe me, I wouldn’t have let them take you to Sector Seven.”

    Isa stared at him firmly as if he was watching small embers escape a bonfire. For a moment, Lea thought Isa’s mind had wandered off somewhere else and he was simply looking through him and into another world where, perhaps, he’d much rather be. But then he averted his gaze like he had caught himself in the middle of something he shouldn’t be doing.

    “I’m sorry, Isa. I should’ve told you, and I was going to, but I didn’t know how, and before I knew it, it was time–”

    “Enough,” Isa sighed. “It’s fine.”

    Lea fell silent at once and gave a slow nod. Compliance. Apathy. Those were such foreign traits in Isa, traits that worried him greatly. He could have written it off as Isa pretending like he didn’t care had Lea not seen how he allowed himself to be treated by Cid and the guards.

    “I’ll get us something to eat,” Lea announced and teleported before Isa could protest.

    Lea’s knee-jerk reaction was to run when things got complicated. He had been working long on ridding himself of that reaction. It was especially important now for he knew that even if he suggested to Isa that he could take him away from here, Isa would refuse.

    When Lea came back, Isa had seated himself by the worn coffee table. He had moved the plastic bouquet of flowers to the head of the small table. Lea found comfort in Isa’s subtle change from cold to curious and hurried over to the table to set out the food he had ordered from a small tavern south of the plaza. Roxas had found it on one of their rounds around town, and though Lea had been apprehensive about eating there at first, it had become one of his favorite restaurants in Radiant Garden.

    Isa looked into each box, sniffing in the air discreetly to tell what it was when he couldn’t identify it just by looking at it. The box with the scrambled eggs and spinach caught his attention first and he dug into it with the fork Lea had brought him.

    “Have you read anything good lately?” Lea asked after a long moment of silence.

    He had gone through countless possible subjects to bring up, but as he played out the possible scenarios that could come out of each subject, he realized that most would be poking at their past. Lea wanted to have a positive conversation, one that would get Isa excited enough to make him talk about something that he loved.

    “Demyx’s reports,” Isa answered and looked through the boxes again to find one he had eyed earlier.

    “No books or anything like that?”

    “I don’t have access to the library. Demyx’s reports are the most entertaining thing I get to read. He didn’t like to recon and he found creative ways of letting that show in writing.”

    “Didn’t his reports to piss you off?” Asking questions that would steer conversations away from Lea’s plans seemed to also be a knee-jerk reaction.

    “We were on a mission then. I took it seriously. Now that I know that I was being fooled, it’s funny. There’s one, that I think may be my favorite.” Isa smiled softly at remembering it and Lea froze, his fork caught mid-air as he watched Isa’s smile like he had found a priceless gem.

    “Which one?” Lea fumbled.

    “You have to see it to understand. It’s not just what he wrote, it’s how he wrote it. The uneven letters, how he wrote them in crooked lines, the lack of specific details, like it had been written by a child.”

    “Have you read mine, too?” Lea asked and regretted it immediately when Isa’s smile vanished and he looked down onto the table.

    “I have. I know you didn’t like the paperwork, and it showed. But yours weren’t humorous. They were sardonic and loathsome. Like you knew who was going to read it.”

    Lea remembered sitting locked up in his room late each night, writing those godforsaken reports while asking himself if there was a point to all of it in hopes to come up with something that would rid him of the suffocating emptiness that he had felt. The only other feelings he could muster while writing those time-wasting things, were the frustration and near hatred he held for Saïx. His only wish at those times was for Saïx to come to understand how much he loathed him for allowing Xemnas’s will to be done. _I did what you ordered me to do. Thanks to your meticulous plans we have broken the last remaining the resistance. You made me do this. How much longer will you have me doing this? Congratulations, I’m a monster._ Now, at seeing Isa lower his gaze, the ease with which his smile disappeared at the mere memory of Axel’s reports, Lea could only wish he could take the question back. Saïx had read each and every report Axel had submitted, and now Isa had to do it again.

    “I brought you something.” Lea dug into his pocket and pulled out a flat, smooth rock that was as black as the night sky and seemed specked with as many stars. He placed it in front of Isa and watched him closely for a reaction. “I thought that with just this window and the trees covering the view, you might not have seen the starry night sky for a while. This stone reminded me of it, and I thought that maybe you’d like it.”

    Isa inspected it from where he sat before he picked it up and slid his thumb across it slowly.

    “Thanks,” he said and rose to his feet. “For the food, too. Could you tell the guards that I won’t dine today?”

    “You’re going to bed already? It’s early.”

    “I’m taking a bath.”

    Isa locked the door after himself. Lea listened to the tub fill with water and the soft shuffling sounds of Isa undressing before he picked up the leftovers to throw away outside. When he came back, it was silent. Lea walked over to the door and put his ear against it to hear Isa splash softly in the water. The guards came by shortly and were told that Isa wasn’t going to have dinner. They didn’t lose any time. They nodded and went on their way. Lea paced around the room. There wasn’t much to do here. Isa had no books, nothing else to read, nothing to draw or write on. The view was uninspiring. Spotlights lit up the building with a blinding light and made the surrounding darker than it already was and impossible to distinguish.

    Lea sat down on the side of Isa’s bed and flopped down on his side. The sheets were rough and knobbly, worn from age and washing. Isa had three covers; one sheet, one knitted, dark blue cover, and a third, thready black one. Lea buried his face into the mattress and inhaled the scent of the issued soap Isa was probably scrubbing his body clean with right this moment. Lea sat up and looked down on the spot he had placed his head on and clutched at it with his hands. There was something underneath the mattress: a book. Lea’s heart skipped a beat. Dr. Even’s diary. It had been here all this time. Isa had kept it hidden for purposes Lea couldn’t even fathom. Maybe he still harbored deep hatred for Xion. Maybe this was his revenge, his only chance at exerting powers over those who had been his subordinates.

    Lea’s blood raced in his veins, shifting his sight to red at the feeling of stupidity and frustration. Every passing second was precious time wasted. Isa knew that. Lea dug out the thick notebook, gripping it tightly. He almost teleported the second he saw it. He had to show it to Roxas, to get it to Yen Sid, to save Xion, but before he did anything of the sort, he opened the book, flipped through empty pages until he got to scribbled notes and small sketches of things that Lea doubted were in Dr. Even’s interest at all during the time that he had created Xion.

    A sketch depicted a small expansion to a house. Another sketch was of a rocking chair and next to it a note: _I dreamt of the house again. There’s an old man there, but everytime I get close, I see Xehanort. He doesn’t let me go inside the house. He sets it on fire before my eyes. A mirror or a window breaks, and as he gets closer, I suffocate. I wonder if the house is real and if I’ll ever get to see it._

    Lea wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. The anger that had risen in him had been enough to have him break a sweat. It had shoved him into an old and familiar thought pattern; Isa had become the enemy again. He sighed at himself in disbelief of how quick he was to abandon his faith in Isa. It had happened too often in the small amount of time since their reunion. Lea was at a loss as to what to do about it. How did he return to this pattern of distrust when all he wanted was to trust Isa wholeheartedly and be a source of strength to him?

    The diary was of Isa’s dreams. The dates were sporadic; some entries were more detailed than others. Some had no notes, only sketches of the strongest images that had stayed with Isa when he had woken up. Lea flipped through it, not intending to read it, only to see if he was mentioned or depicted anywhere. Isa’s voice echoed in his head. _Would it be wise to trust you?_ Lea put the diary down. Truth to be told, it never had been, at least not for Isa.

    Lea put the diary back where he had found it and sat down on the couch. The best thing for him to do now was to go back to the lodge and spend some time with Roxas. Ironic, considering the effect Roxas had on him nowadays. Roxas would still manage to straighten him out and clear his mind of the blemishes of darkness that were tainting it. A life of butting heads with forces of evil had made Roxas a voice of reason. He kept advising him to stop visiting Isa as frequently as he was. He had tried subtlety, straightforwardness and at very few, desperate occasions, guilt. No one was benefiting from Lea being here, insisting on something that had died years ago, and yet, when Isa stepped out of the bathroom, Lea was still there, stretched out on the couch and staring at the ceiling while humming on an old marching song.

    “Good night,” Isa said in a thick voice that he tried to hide behind a soft cough. He didn’t look back at Lea. He went straight for the bed and threw the covers over himself despite his hair still being damp.

    Lea propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Isa. He would have heard if Isa had been crying. If anything, any sudden leftover heaving sob would give Isa away. Lea listened intently, but the only thing he heard was Isa’s breathing evening out rapidly as if he had fallen asleep seconds after he had put his head on the pillow.

    “Good night,” Lea whispered.    

-x-

The sun had yet to rise when Isa was brought to Dr. Even’s office. The guards that accompanied him were rougher than usual, letting their frustration show at having to start their shift two hours earlier for someone they considered a war criminal. The guards weren’t the only ones. Dr. Even’s secretary had been asked to come in earlier to open up the office. Her usually frightened stare was coated in a veil of sleepiness and irritation that Isa hadn’t thought her capable of from their previous and brief encounters.

    Still, it was all worth it when Isa sat down on the comfortable couch. Dr. Even’s office was warm and cozy. Isa almost wished for Dr. Even to be late so that he could take a nap, wrapped in the soft blanket beside him. A few minutes later, Dr. Even walked into his office, dark rings under his eyes that seemed to grow a shade darker every time Isa saw him. Compassion for the man had been unthinkable a couple of months ago, but it was wondrous how Isa had taught himself to make a difference between the man that had experimented on him, the man he had gotten killed, and the man caring for him now. Somehow, it was the only way for Isa to make sense of their relationship.

    “Good morning, Isa. How are you today?” Dr. Even asked as he put a cup of ill-smelling coffee on the low table between them.

    “Good morning, Dr. Even. I’m well. How are you?” Isa replied instinctively. The small sense of pride at having understood and gotten a hang of this social routine was one he would usually scoff at, but the recent, vivid reminders of his past failures made the feeling precious.

    “Worried,” Dr. Even said, breaking the usual routine. “Ienzo asked me to bring you a file named 4-40. I assume Xigbar gave you the idea. As you know, honesty is a virtue that we value. It hasn’t always been like that, but we are all trying to be better than we once were. And to be honest with you, Isa, I do have the file. I have it with me, but I strongly advise you to refrain from reading it. The information will confuse you more than help you, and I’m afraid of what the consequences may be. The memories will come back to you, I assure you. But all in due time. With that said, I leave the final decision to you. Whatever you choose to do, you will have our support, should you need it.”

    Isa rubbed his hands against his knees nervously. The silence stretched at the seed of doubt Dr. Even had planted in him. He had been certain that he would jump onto the first chance he got to retrieve anything from his past that was still left. He remembered bits and pieces, but he wanted it all. Everything that had helped him be molded into a monster, anything that could explain his long and deep descent into darkness that had led him straight to Xehanort, Isa wanted to know it all, and see the reasons behind his atrocious actions on paper.

    “You can think about it, Isa. We have time,” Dr. Even said at last. He cleared his throat and brushed a long strand of blond hair behind his ear. “You were taken to Sector Seven by the police,” Dr. Even stated with a sigh and rubbed his forehead. “Do you know why?”

    “Lea traded me for Ienzo,” Isa answered almost immediately. The sentence had been whirling around in his head since yesterday until the words just seemed odd and unreal. Thoughts like that were usually glossed over with something more pleasant; the scent of the coffee beans in his macabre teddybear, the sound of the cold water hitting the bathtub as he broke into sobs, the adorable pictures of animals in Ienzo’s lab, anything that was better. But this particular thought had been insistent, more so in the light of Lea’s apology.

    “I’m sorry to hear that, Isa. Were you informed beforehand?”

    “No.”

    “How did it make you feel when you found out?” Dr. Even looked at Isa from behind his glasses with concern and attention.

    “Not surprised. It was a smart move.” Isa picked at his fingertips absentmindedly as he waited for the next question.

    “You felt ‘not surprised’?”

    “Like I shouldn’t be surprised,” Isa elaborated quietly.

    “What happened when you got to Sector Seven? Do you remember?”

    “They started to throw rocks at the coach. The former-Dusks and the other Nobodies. And they ran after it. The police officers put a bag over my head before we walked out, but I could hear them.”

    “What did they yell?”

    “I don’t know. There were police officers with riot gear on each side of us. I could just hear that they screamed. Everything else was drowned out by the rocks hitting the shields that the police officers held up. I got to see their faces when we walked back. Their eyes were wild with anger and hatred. I could see the veins pop out on their throats and foreheads. Some turned red from screaming and yelling as hard as they could.” Isa paused to fix his attention on the forefinger he was picking on. “It wasn’t that big a deal. It could’ve been worse.”

    “How did it make you feel, Isa?”

    “Like I shouldn’t be surprised,” Isa said again. “I was scared, too. I thought about what they’d do if they caught me. How could they make me repay for the years of hurt in a short moment? That’s what I thought about the most.”

    “Did you think of anything in particular?”

    Isa shook his head.

    “But I thought for a second, as I saw them, that maybe I should let them punish me. Whatever they’d do would be over fast enough and I thought that maybe it would resolve my guilt.”

    “But…?”

    “I want to live. Even if it’s for a little bit, I’d like to have a life of my own.”

    “That is very good to hear, Isa,” Dr. Even smiled. “I’m glad that you feel that way. You deserve to have a life of your own. Those people from Sector Seven focus their negative emotions on you because Xehanort is gone, and you’ve become a scapegoat. It wasn’t you who did them wrong, Isa. It’s important that you make that distinction.”

    Isa nodded slowly. Dr. Even and Ienzo said that a lot. ‘It wasn’t you, it was Xehanort.’ Isa would’ve given anything to buy into that theory wholeheartedly, but the truth rang much too loudly and much too clear to be ignored. He remembered the rage, the envy, the maddening solitude that lay behind his cruelty, behind his urge to destroy. Xehanort had been a factor amongst many, most of which Isa firmly believed stemmed from his own corruption and darkness that had been there before Xehanort had turned him into a force to be reckoned with.

    “I think I’ve made a decision about the file,” Isa said, certain that he had made the right choice. “I want to read it.”

    “Even though you know that Ienzo and I can coax your memories out given time? How about Lea? Doesn’t he wake memories in you?”

    Isa’s mouth went dry and he cleared his throat to drown out images of a certain despicable act yesterday that he had committed in the privacy of his bathroom. His eyes were warm and he struggled against the reflex of putting his hands against his cheeks to assert whether his cheeks were as red as he suspected them to be. Afraid that his shame would be more apparent in his voice, Isa simply shook his head ‘no’.

    “How is it going with that, by the way?”

    “With what?”

    “With Lea? Have you had any panic attacks?”

    “No. It’s been fine.”

   Dr. Even fell silent as he observed Isa, rubbing his chin, reading Isa’s silence like a text he needed to decipher. He got up and walked over to his desk without asking any further questions. Isa worried that he might have gotten too much information from the silence. Dr. Even made nothing of it, however. Instead, he handed Isa the file he had asked for before he sat down again.

    “It’s a copy of the original. Nothing has been censored since it concerns a person outside of the Royal Court. Isa, be cautious. Don’t hesitate to go to Ienzo should you feel strange or in need to talk to someone. I’ll be in court all day today. Also, don’t forget your conviction to live. It’s extraordinary progress that you’ve been able to express that wish. I hope you see it, too.”

    The file didn’t look like much to the world, but knowing that his past could be in there, made Isa’s hands tremble.

    “I’ve already issued a permission slip for that file. The guards know that it is yours. I will have a talk with the police department as soon as time permits. You are not to be dragged to Sector Seven or any other neighboring sectors any time soon.”

    The guards escorted Isa back to his cell and stayed outside of it; they would have to escort him to his office in an hour or so. In getting out of their gear and then getting it back on, they wouldn’t have much time to do anything else but to walk a turn in their dressing rooms. Isa, however, got at least some breakfast taken to his room, courtesy of Ienzo.

-x-

At noon, Isa had read through fifty pages’ worth of reports that were of no importance. He had found a small doodle of a Berserker on one of Xaldin’s reports, which had struck him as odd. Xaldin was usually very stoic and formal in his reports. A closer inspection revealed that Saïx had doodled that while he had been reading through it, and though it was as out of character as it would have been with Xaldin as the culprit, it was a faint sign of humanity that made Isa treasure it.

    The only file that mattered was in his top drawer, still unread. It took some deep breaths and hours of boredom before Isa pulled the file out of his drawer and put it on the desk in front of him. He opened the file slowly, as if expecting all of the secrets to jump out of the pages and attack him, but the contents were not about him. A faint, red stamp across the file read “DANGEROUS”. Isa leaned forward to inspect the black and white image of an old looking man, looking to the side to avoid the camera lens. _Nilas Svonni_. Isa mouthed the name under his breath as he read it. It didn’t bring back any memories, but the deep frown on the man’s face did. The crinkles between his eyebrows, the darker skin that faintly reminded Isa of having compared the pale skin of his own arms to the dark skin of this man’s hands.

    _“I’m gonna roast in the sun until I look like you, áddjá’!”_

    Isa closed the file and sat up straight. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this, after all. He was sprouting roots, tying himself to this land by digging up memories without context. Isa could barely handle the consequences of his actions as it was. How and where would he find the strength to handle the vicious destruction he was responsible for if he came to see Radiant Garden as something that was his through family he would vaguely remember?

    An electric buzz, different and lower than the buzz from the fluorescent lights, called for Isa’s attention. The sound came from behind two piles of documents, and Isa went to look. A portal of darkness stood wide open. The camera surveillance escaped Isa’s mind. He reached into his pocket to drop his ID-card onto the floor before he walked into the portal, certain that it would take him home to the house that once had belonged to Nilas Svonni.


	14. Berserker

* * *

A big marble monument decorated the entrance hall of the castle. It vaulted inward to create the intimacy a memorial needed. _In honor of those we have lost but not forgotten_ , it said at the very top, followed by columns of names of people that had fallen victim in the First Fall, the War, the Second Strike and the battles that had taken place recently. Only victims whose death could be certified ended up here. Those who still hoped and searched had to settle with bulletin boards around the city.

     The Restoration Committee was meeting up in the Grand Hall to brief each other on the multitudes of problems they were encountering in each area of responsibility they accounted for. It was the weekly custom; one which Cid was growing wearier of with each meeting. He walked up to the monument, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand that he placed by the third column from the left. Shera’s name was still hard to look at, like a blow to his chest every time he heard her name resonate in his head when he saw it in the corner of his eye. Cid lowered his head as he whispered a familiar prayer to a God that once had governed in Radiant Garden with the same power and strength as King Ansem, but that now seemed to have been forgotten with most of His churches in ruins. Only the brick left made an impression on desperate citizens, while others, those who might remember Him, stayed away in fear of being attacked by the thieves that made the ruins disappear one brick at a time.

     Shera’s murderers were still free. They walked these halls as if the castle still belonged to them. They shamelessly made demands, asked for resources that they had no right to; it was obvious that they had been conditioned to a life within the castle walls, with King Ansem as their waiter.

     “Cid.” Leon’s voice echoed in the entrance hall. He stood a few feet away with Cloud by his side, both looking like they hadn’t known a good night’s sleep for days.

     “Were you dragged here by horse?”

     “We’ve had a major breakthrough, Cid.” Leon pulled Cid in by his shoulders, both for support and to not have to speak too loudly in a place where the walls had ears. “Saïx finally put the last nail in his coffin.”

     Cid eyes widened. “How?”

     “Murder for one, and he escaped his office. We’ve got him now.”

     “We’ve got officers and guards searching Radiant Garden for him,” Cloud added. “Justice will be done.”

     A smile cracked on Cid’s face, wider than it had since Xehanort’s downfall. A chuckle followed as Leon gripped his shoulder tightly and shook him gently, pride clear both on Leon and Cloud, even through the exhaustion clouding their eyes.

     “If anyone could do it, it’d be you boys," Cid said and cleared his throat from the accumulating emotions that threatened to spill from his eyes.

     As the three of them entered the Grand Hall where the rest of the Restoration Committee was already waiting, Cid glanced up at the wall ahead that was decorated with a large golden crest; a shield with two stags on each side, and the symbol of God in the middle. For a long time, Cid had thought that God had abandoned them, but as he took his seat amongst his comrades, he felt God smile at them again.

-x-

Despite the years that had gone by, the house was in an eerily good state. Some floorboards needed changing, some walls needed refurbish, most things needed dusting, but all in all, the house was in good condition. Isa spent the first half hour walking from room to room, glancing up the stairs to the second floor when he passed it by, still not ready to go there. He found a broom in a small closet underneath the staircase, and before he knew it, he was sweeping the floor in the diner where he had spoken with Xigbar. Xigbar was, fortunately, nowhere to be found. Isa could enjoy the silence and space of the house until the dust he stirred became too much and he started to sneeze.

     Isa opened a couple of windows and left the front door wide open with the help of a sturdy rock. He swept out all the remaining dust outside. Garbage, such as cans of inedible food and leftovers that had turned to soil, Isa put in bags that he had found in a cabinet to throw them someplace appropriate later.

     Once the air was mostly free of dust, Isa walked into the common area, down the hall from the diner. It had an open fireplace on the leftside wall, the furniture that had been here at some point in time were long gone, and Isa had swiped the remains of woodchips out the door. He lay down by the fireplace and stared up at the ceiling, faint memories of having run up and down this room with Lea chasing him around sounding in the back of his head.

     Lea. Isa’s face flushed red. The sudden warmth that spread throughout his body contrasted against the cold of the floor and made Isa aware of his reaction. It was one that had grown stronger and more obvious since he crossed a line last night when a sudden urge washed over him with an intensity he had only known as a teenager. It had been ingenuous to think that a universe could be put out completely. A spark surviving was enough, enough to ignite a new universe and have it cannibalize the remains of the old one.

     Isa’s shame was as great as whatever had possessed him to touch himself when there had only been thin wall between Lea and him. Isa’s regret had been immediate, but neither shame nor regret was enough to quench the small and insistent flame that was burning inside Isa’s chest. His only comfort was that this feeling would go away over time. If not, he’d learn to bury it again; hide it from himself until he could say with certainty that the feeling was gone. It went against his pact of honesty with Dr. Even, Ienzo, Aeleus and Dilan, but considering what had happened the last time he embraced feelings of this kind, dishonesty seemed like the right course of action.

     Voices overlapped each other. Laughter, cries, whispers, arguments, sounded in Isa’s ears as he closed his eyes for sleep. None of it worried him. He knew the voices. They resonated within him and awoke a sense of familiarity he hadn’t thought he could feel. They belonged to this house as much as he did. Isa rose to his feet groggily and moved to the staircase in the dark, his eyelids half-closed. His bedroom was the first to the left on a narrow hallway that only led to one other bedroom. The door creaked. A strong light passed through his room. The sound of a bell rang in the distance. But Isa only had eyes for the small space that had been his.

     The roof slanted on one side, above his bed. The closed window had protected the room from nature, but something had knocked Isa’s telescope over, and he almost stepped on it on his way to the window. The telescope looked fragile, as though it would break in any grip that wasn’t gentle enough. Isa put it back on its legs as carefully as he could. His heart beat hard as he looked around in his room. Old drawings of the sky covered his walls. Notebooks and loose sheets of paper lay spread on his dusty desk, depicting his UFO-sightings and theories regarding aliens. Amongst his notes, Isa found doodles of deer and books on deer herding with countless notes in his handwriting.

     Isa rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as the light passed through his room again, casting shadows of the tree tops. He sat down on the floor with his notebooks, and slowly looked through each and every one. The seriousness behind his accounts of UFO-sightings were amusing, innocent, and revealed a thirst for knowledge. There was nothing there that told of any personal tales. If his notes were to be of any scientific value, he couldn’t let emotions interfere. Fortunately, Isa hadn’t been as good at hiding his emotions when young. He had left a small notebook at the bottom drawer, underneath a fake bottom. The first entry lacked time and date, but was representative of an issue that seemed to have no end:

_Will I go to Hell for loving Lea as I should a woman?_

     Had anyone described to him in vivid detail the hell that had laid ahead of him at that time, Isa was certain that he wouldn’t have listened. He had lived through hell with a long path left to go, and yet here he was, nursing a heart that, despite it all, had yet to learn its lesson.

-x-

Most of Radiant Garden’s security force had been sent out in the frantic search for Isa. According to video footage, Isa had disappeared around noon the previous day. The obvious suspects had been brought in for questioning first; Ienzo, Aelous and Dr. Even. None of them had anything that helped the police find Isa any faster. After the Restoration Committee’s weekly meeting, the Keyblade-wielders had been notified. Ventus and Riku came to assist Lea and Roxas in the search, and though they had all combed through every inch of Radiant Garden and the slums, they had come out empty-handed.

     Lea walked into Isa’s cell. He had been there three times during his search already. He was there for the diary that he had found under Isa’s mattress. In it was a house that he mentioned. Lea remembered it, but he couldn’t remember where the house was. None of his memories of rich shrubbery, high trees and greenery as far as he could see concurred with what he saw of Radiant Garden now, and maybe, Isa had disclosed its location in that notebook of his.

     Lea was almost by the bedside when he heard the familiar wobble of a portal of darkness. He turned around just in time to see Isa walk into his cell with a weary look.

     “Isa, where the hell have you been?” Lea walked up to him and inspected his eyes closely, relieved to see that there was just as much cerulean blue as there had been the last time they had been together. “We’ve been looking all over for you!”

     “I was home,” Isa said. “My house is still standing. I cleaned it out and looked around. I guess I forgot about the time. Is that a crime?”

     “Are you serious? Isa, in case you haven’t been paying attention, these people have been looking for a reason to lock you up for good, and you’re handing them that reason on a gold platter. They have soldiers out there, armed to their teeth searching for you! Citizens are scared out of their mind, thinking there’s another attack of Heartless coming.”

     “In case _you_ haven’t been paying attention, they have my life in their hands. If they truly believed I was that big a menace, they could’ve solved that with one push of a button. I just went to see my house.” Isa walked past Lea and sat down on his bed, turning his attention to the window, though there was nothing to see.

     “Leon is building a case against you, Isa.”

     “I’m not surprised.”

     “They think you are working with Xigbar and that you’re behind the sightings of Heartless. They have the shopkeeper from the shelter as witness and the guards that were there with you. And they have footage of you hiding evidence.”

     “I told you that I met with Xigbar and why. He’s in no shape to conspire against you Keyblade-wielders. Besides, I told Ienzo and Aeleus, too. It wasn’t a secret. They have nothing.”

     “Did you open the portal of darkness?” Lea sat down on the coffee table and looked firmly at Isa.

     “No.”

     “Look at me, Isa. I’m trying to help you. Let me. Please.”

     Isa clenched his jaw and fixed his attention on a spot on the window, determined to not give way, when Lea, in an attempt to soften Isa’s heart, placed a hand on his knee to complete his plea. Isa rose to his feet at once, shoving Lea’s hand away as if it had been a frightening spider. He walked over to the window, his arms crossed, and his back turned to Lea.

     “I don’t possess that kind of power anymore. Xigbar must have opened it for me.”

     “For what purpose?” Lea saw Isa glance backward when he heard Lea get up and turn to him, the sound of his shoes against the floor making it seem as if he had taken a step closer.

     “I don’t know. Maybe he got a reply from Ienzo and wanted to keep his end of the bargain.”

     “Which was?”

     “Help me remember.”

     “That’ll be tough to sell,” Lea said. “Where did the portal lead?”

     “Home.”

     “Which is where, Isa? I need a location to show Leon. He’s not just gonna take your word for it, that this place exists.”

     “I can’t tell you. I don’t know where it is, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want them to know.”

     “Do you realize how suspicious that sounds?”

     The door flew open when Roxas ran inside, Lea’s name on the tip of his tongue when he saw Isa by the window and the frown on Lea’s face that he read as danger. A shadow sprung in from behind Roxas, leaving a trail of black thorny smoke as it climbed the walls erratically. In the distance came the unmistakable, clicking noise of Heartless. Roxas didn’t wait for an explanation, he didn’t need one. Life in Radiant Garden had come to a halt because Isa had fled and endangered everyone within the city walls as a result. His Keyblade materialized in his grip in a split second.

     “Roxas, take it easy. We’re just talking,” Lea tried to get Roxas attention, but Roxas didn’t let Isa out of his sight. If any Heartless jumped out of the darkness, it would be on Isa’s command. His grip on his Keyblade only tightened.

     “A group of soldiers found someone they thought was Saïx in Sector Seven,” Roxas began with a scowl. “But by descriptions, it was Xigbar. He killed three soldiers before Dilan could interfere. Xigbar escaped. The three soldiers that were murdered were witnesses in the case against Saïx. I’m pretty sure that whatever you were talking about, isn’t the whole truth.”

     “What?” Lea looked back at Isa in utter disbelief. Whenever he thought it was safe to trust Isa, something came along to monumentally disprove him. Isa had admitted to have gone to talk to Xigbar. It would’ve been easy to leave out certain implicating details while making himself seem honest by having confessed to the conversation ever taking place.

     Lea summoned his Keyblade, keeping his focus on Isa. He may not be armed, but even so Isa was dangerous. The Heartless scratched the invisible wall holding them back, their clicking growing louder. Lea asked no questions and gave no explanations when Isa turned to face them. Secrecy and convoluted plots to overthrow enemies was Isa’s specialty. To think that Isa would stop now was nothing short of ludicrous. Isa paled at the sight of them and stumbled forward, a move that Lea mistook for the initiation of an attack directed at Roxas. He launched forward to block Isa, but before he could move, Isa fell to the floor and the shadow dissolved.

-x-

Time elapsed in fragments. The voices around him were elongated, stretched out until he couldn’t make out where the words ended or where they began. Isa was stuck in his cell, the sound of the summoned Keyblades echoing in his head like feverish nightmares and it urged lucid memories of his battle against Lea and Roxas out of dark corners of his mind. They were paralyzing. Ienzo had told him that battles as fierce as those Isa had been part of were usually forgotten due to the adrenaline. “Your brain will try to protect you,” he had said. It must have been a lie for he felt every impact, every searing attack that had burned through his flesh.

     By the time Isa came to his senses, he stood by the corner of a small, dark and humid cell. Light came in from a slit of a barred window high up on the wall that flickered when a group of guards marched by outside. For a split second Isa feared that everything had been a dream, that he was still in the dungeons, waiting to be experimented on, but a look at his dark green sweatshirt with the pine trees dissolved him of doubt. He had been arrested for murder or accomplice thereof, he couldn’t remember.

     Isa sat down and leaned against the humid stonewall. He curled up, his knees against his chest and tried to fall asleep. Accept what you cannot change, that was the mantra, and if he had ever needed it since coming back, it was now. Isa dozed off, but opened his eyes quickly when brutal images of battles flashed behind closed eyelids and made his stomach turn. He placed his hand over his left shoulder and rubbed it absentmindedly. It didn’t help much. Isa woke up repeatedly during the night until a guard entered his cell early in the morning and barked at him to get up and out of the cell. Every joint ached, his body stiff from having been in the same position for hours.

     The cell had been one for detention. The guard informed him loudly that he was to be taken to another cell that he would share with a cellmate. He listed countless of rules that completely escaped Isa as he was made to strip naked for a hosing down with ice cold water. Another guard brusquely checked Isa’s hair for lice while Isa sat on a small wooden stool, chattering his teeth.

     The reality of this didn’t sink in until he was led through a heavy door with two large security locks. The smell hit Isa the second the guard opened the door. If Isa hadn’t had his feet and hands chained together, he would have run back to the detention cell. The prison was full of former Dusks and various other Nobodies. Isa pulled back. The guard pushed him forward. The lack of proper nutrition had cost Isa a few pounds; he wasn’t as strong as he had been. The guard could easily handle Isa and lead him ahead through the prison where the inmates would stop what they were doing to follow Isa with their spiteful stares as they identified him.

     “I can’t be here,” Isa told the guard, his voice breaking as he looked around.

     “Sorry, princess,” the guard said mockingly. “This is where the scum of the city go, and with your history, I’m sure you’ll be crowned the Queen of the Scum in no time at all.”

     The new cell had a bunk bed and a toilet. The stench of urine was the only smell worse than the collective darkness from the number of former Nobodies. Coupled with the insistent flashes of Keyblades chopping at him and the stabs of phantom pains, Isa could barely keep himself on his feet.

    The top bunk was already taken and the person up there tossed around when he heard the guard slam the door shut and chuckle as he walked down the narrow hallway. Quietly, Isa sat down in the upper high corner on his bunk and rubbed his wrists where the chains had left marks. His heart was racing, setting his breathing out of rhythm. Every sound made him jerk his head in that direction to make sure that no one was sneaking up on him. Some inmates were yelling for him, loudly announcing every detail of his imminent and gruesome death, inspiring each other. They dragged whatever they could find against the bars to add to the noise.

    Isa looked for the black stone Lea had given him. It was hidden in an inside pocket of his otherwise hole-stricken pants. The guards hadn’t thought of looking there. Isa dragged his thumb across it in hopes he’d get his mind to focus on something else, like the drawings of UFO:s and the house that was waiting for him once all of this was over.

    The sound of bare feet against the floor had Isa’s eyes fly open. The cellmate had awoken and jumped off his bed to inspect his new companion. His eyes were dark and his skin a paleish yellow. Judging by the smudges of dirt on his skin and clothes, he was a construction worker. He looked strong enough to break through the bars keeping them here, but Isa feared there was someone else he would rather use his strength on.

    He inspected Isa with disdain and reached for a cigarette he had balancing behind his ear. The flick of the lighter made Isa jolt as his intense focus on the man in front of him broke.

    “You were caught at last, huh?” The man mumbled around the cigarette. “There’s been rumors,” he said and waved his cigarette around as he blew the smoke out his nose. “Rumors that you were here in Radiant Garden, planning another attack. Struck me as odd, y’know? The rumors.”

    The man flopped down on the floor and took a deep drag off his cigarette.

    “You’re one of ‘em –  what’s it called –  one of ‘em,” the man snapped his fingers. “Bluefaces! I can tell. You have the eyes. Bet you don’t remember me though. I didn’t always look like this. Name’s Frank. You know me as Berserker number 8.” Frank laughed and coughed at the same time at the last part, undeterred by the frightened look in Isa's eyes. “I fell the first time. Before you went nuts on us. So you can relax. I’m not the one who wants to put an ice pick in the bull’s eye,” he said and pointed to the ridge of his nose.

    Isa gripped his stone tightly and observed the man named Frank in silence until he coughed again.

    “What’s a Blueface?” Isa asked.

    “A Blueface!” Frank said, as if repeating the word would make its meaning obvious. “Y’know, the deer-loving treehuggers. Y’all were always wearing a set of dark blue clothes with colorful frills and the weird as fuck hats year ‘round. Some of y’all caved and went to live inside the city walls, but then there were the stubborn Bluefaces that had to ‘take a stand against the King’.” Frank made a face and stomped around with his feet while remaining seated and made himself laugh again. “What’s your last name?”

    “Svonni.” Isa tried the name as something that belonged to him. His throat nearly closed on him as if he was practiced in denying it instead of admitting to it.

    “That’s the name of a Blueface, alright.” Frank’s mocking smile softened and he stared out into nothing as he took another drag. “Y’know, back when I was Berserker number 8, you’d come out to us and wash us off from grime and whatnot after every mission, and sometimes, you’d hum a tune that one of my buddies used to sing when we were recruits in the army. The song was in whatever language you Bluefaces speak, but it reminded me of home.”

    “Why did you have a specific number?” Isa had read through countless reports, several times, and had never seen anything about the lesser Nobodies having an identification system.

    “You named us. Said it’d be easier to tell us apart. I got an eight carved onto my helmet and onto my weapon. We were approximately thirty Berserkers at first, but then came those spaghetti creatures. The Dusks. And ID:ing everyone was too much of a task, but most of us in the first squadron stuck around for a long time. I wasn’t taken down until those kids broke into the castle. Tell you what, though. For all the things I’ve heard said about you, you weren’t half as bad as they make you seem. Ten years at war does things to a man. To his head, his way of thinking. You put up a fight and you hung in there for longer than I ever could. I was put out of my misery –  you, with the eye thing you’ve got going, I’m guessing you’re still fighting.”

    Frank put his cigarette out with his fingers and flicked it into the toilet with confidence. Isa slowly slid off the bed and sat down on the floor in front of Frank. Anxiety was still weighing heavily on his chest, but the prospect of an old ally, eased his mind slightly.

    “Frank, how did the song go?”


	15. Pick a Side

* * *

Leon’s prideful look as he announced that Isa was to be detained haunted Lea even days after it had happened. Isa had been bedridden, unconscious for a few hours and woke to hear the news. As much as they tried to find loopholes, Ienzo and Dr. Even proved to be powerless. Leon and Cloud had anticipated them all, and as soon as Isa was deemed fit by Leon, he was taken away to be incarcerated with the other criminals that had been locked away in a high security prison on a small island outside northern Radiant Garden.

     Lea had been in shock, was in shock still. He had been ready to fight Isa, his resolve quickly transformed into fear when Isa had fainted. Isa’s colors had washed away as though he had been a painting left to dry by the shore as soon as he saw the Keyblades. Lea thought about that moment a lot. Allowed it to torment him to make up for his inability to help Isa at all. No visitors were permitted at this prison, making confinement and isolation the prime punishment for those who dared to betray Radiant Garden when the city needed its citizens the most. There had been dread in Ienzo’s eyes. The memory of it haunted Lea as much as the sickening pride on Leon’s face. Lea had only once seen dread ever darken Ienzo’s face, and Ienzo had been faced with his own demise at the time. What it meant for Isa and his future, Lea had been too scared to ask.

    The sickness had settled at the pit of Lea’s stomach and showed no signs of diminishing. Instead, it allowed Lea to wallow in self-pity. He hadn’t experienced it since he was struck by the expected anxiety attacks that came with the healing process of a former Nobody.

     “Oh, good. You’re up.” Roxas pushed up the door with his back and walked in with a tray.

     The smell of pancakes and coffee hit Lea like a punch to the nose and he hid his face into his pillow with a groan and pulled the covers over his head.

     “Roxas, no. I don’t feel like eating.”

     “I don’t care. You’re eating. We have rounds today and you have to be alert. Get up.”

    Lea sat up and kicked the covers down to his waist to show that he was doing it under protest. Roxas pulled out legs under the tray and put it over Lea’s lap. He sat down by the bed and motioned for Lea to dig in.

     “You made these?” Lea asked as he put jam and cream on his pancake before he rolled it into a length. His stomach growled lowly, reminding him how long it had been since he had eaten anything.

     “Yeah. The cream and jam are gifts from Mrs. Levi. She heard you were ill and came by as soon as she could.” Roxas smiled. “I bet she was missing your business.”

     “She just wants to marry off her daughter. I know that eagerness. These are great, by the way. You should make ‘em at least once a week so that I can cut back on ice cream.” Lea barely tasted the pancakes before he swallowed them, uncertain whether it was because he was hungry or anxious.

     “I was thinking that we could go to Ienzo’s lab today, try to put some pressure on him. He’s taking too long with the samples he took from the Land of Departure,” said Roxas.

     “He’s got his hands full with sick patients, Roxas. I’m sure he’ll send for us when he’s done.”

     “I’m not. Besides, he’s not as busy as he used to be with Saïx gone.”

     “Isa,” Lea corrected coldly.

     Roxas glanced down in realizing his mistake and gave a slow nod.

     “You still haven’t given up on him? Even after all the proof Leon and Cloud have against him? What’s it gonna take, Lea? What’s it gonna take to make you stop looking at what’s been and focus instead on what is and what can be?”

     “I heard similar arguments when I was looking for you.” Lea caught Roxas’s eye. “I didn’t give up then. I knew that somehow I’d get to see you again and it gave me the strength I needed to keep trying. Is it so crazy that I hope to save Isa, too?”

     “What about Xion? She needs us more. Isa has Ienzo, Dr. Even and Aeleus.” Roxas sighed. “Lea, you’ve been gone for days on end just to sit in solitary. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but people here need us, need you, me, for morale boost, to know that the battle against darkness isn’t lost. We’re not fighting for ourselves anymore. I want to save Xion more than anything, but I don’t let it consume me the way you’ve let Isa’s detention consume you.”

     The worry was apparent on Roxas’s face. He was right. They were both part of something bigger that had given them both great purpose and a chance to help, not only themselves, but others in need. And yet –  Lea’s lips curved slightly –  all Lea could think of was Roxas’s use of the word ‘need.’ They were needed. So were Ienzo, Dr. Even, Aeleus and Dilan. They brought something to an almost empty table. He just had to find a use for Isa, one that would exceed his crimes and make him indispensable to the Restoration Committee. The idea was but a few seconds old, but Lea had hope that if he got to think about it, he would come up with something good enough, and that became his light at the end of a dark tunnel.

     “Lea?”

     “I think I have an idea,” Lea smiled, but quickly reacted to Roxas’s frown, prepared that he’d get up and leave at realizing that Lea hadn’t been paying attention at all.

     He hurried out of bed and grabbed Roxas by his arm before he had walked out of the room. Having lost as much as he had, having seen Death in the eye after inviting it in himself, had taught Lea to seize life in a way he hadn’t before. Roxas was one in a million. For all that his earlier speech was worth, he had almost given up on ever seeing Roxas again. There had been a dark time when he had reduced Roxas to a good memory, a stroke of luck that had saved his life and brought him back from the abyss of darkness he had been drowning in for ten years. Lies had almost gotten in between them. Since getting Roxas back, as right as he may think he was in an argument, Lea would always apologize when he upset him, thinking that if they ever were to part again, he would want Roxas to know how much he meant to him.

     Lea pulled Roxas into a hug, smiling softly at the broadness of his shoulders.

     “This’ll be my last attempt. I promise.”

     To expect Roxas to ever come anywhere near to forgiving Isa for what he had done, was nothing short of selfish. Isa had no redeeming quality in Roxas’ eyes. Lea was trying his best to understand and accept that. He just needed Roxas’s support for this last attempt. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn’t go through with this alone.

     “The pancakes were great,” Lea added softly and felt Roxas chuckle. Lea’s heart thumped loudly in his chest. Generally, that was his cue to walk away, but his instincts betrayed him. Instead, he tightened his hold and held his breath.

     “I’ll believe it when you’ve cleared your plate.”

     Roxas pinched Lea’s sides and snickered when Lea pulled back and smiled sheepishly before he walked to the other side of the room.

     The worlds had suffered great losses in the grand battles against Xehanort; Radiant Garden had been one with the greatest loss of life as well as infrastructure. The rounds that Lea and Roxas made had been deemed as not only important for safety but also imperative for the morale boost of a beaten nation. The loss of those three soldiers the night they had found Isa had been yet another blow to the fragile strength of the people in Radiant Garden. All shops they walked by had the national flag on half-mast to show their grieving. Most shops were closed, others were forced to keep open while still cleaning up after that night.

     Lea stepped into a small shop, accustomed to the sound of a small bell announcing his arrival, but today there was none. Mr. McCann stood behind the counter, mumbling to himself while reading his books to try to put a number on his losses.

     “Mr. McCann?” Roxas said and immediately got the attention of the old man who reached for his broomstick to protect himself.

     “Oh, it’s you,” Mr. McCann sighed and put the broomstick away. “It’s been such a mess, such a mess. One need only to shout Armageddon for people to lose all their sense. A group of ten got in here, stole everything they could carry and bolted out the door so fast I found the door on the ground the morning I came here. They do it for hunger, they say. But here they were, stealing ornaments. Where is the sense in that?” Mr. McCann shook his head, his eyes wide with anger at the state of his shop. “You should see Miss Lila’s shop. Oh, those monsters pulled a number on her. Broke into her storage, they did, and stole ten thousand gil worth of coffee. Put them in front of me and I’ll shoot every last one of them, I promise you!”

     “We’re walking around the neighborhood to make sure you are all alright, all things considered. The police are on watch as well, and we will apprehend any suspects that may still be lurking around the area.” Lea smiled kindly. “At least you’re alive, Mr. McCann. I thought we’d lose you to a heart attack.”

     “Those beasts will have to do better to get rid of me.” Mr. McCann pointed in the air with a shaky hand. “The only thing that comforts us now is that the evilest of them all is finally caught! May he burn in Hell for eternities for the harm he’s caused our city, and blessed be you two and Superintendent Leon. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

     “We’re just doing our job,” Roxas quickly chimed in when Lea’s smile faded and he lowered his gaze.

     Mr. McCann had a pendant in the showcase. The chain was thin strings of braided leather and the pendant a small foursquare of black granite with the carving of a symbol Lea hadn’t seen in years; it was a cross with a loop in the middle, Beaivi, the Sun.

     “Where’d you get that?” Lea asked and pointed at the pendant.

     “Oh, that’s some trash a vendor found in the ruins after the First Fall. It’s not worth anything and not very pleasing to look at either. Not even the thieves wanted it,” Mr. McCann lamented.

     “How much is it?”

     “Do you want it? I’d be glad to give it to you as a gift,” said Mr. McCann and took out the pendant from the showcase.

     “Really? With all that’s happened?” Lea asked in hopes that Mr. McCann would reconsider.

     “Well, in that case, how about 450 gil?”

     Roxas snickered.

     “Right… 450 gil.” Lea dug his pockets for loose bills and change. As Keyblade-wielders they received a modest pay for their services, most times in money, other times in goods and services. They could also collect and sell gems should they find it, but with Heartless being as scarce as they were, finding gems were about as likely as finding a pouch full of money.

     They left Mr. McCann counting his earnings. Their round was far from over. They were expected in dreaded Sector Seven where people had tried to evacuate when Royal Guards poured into the streets from seemingly nowhere, searching frantically for Isa while treating everyone there as suspects. Lea hadn’t heard of any injuries, but he also doubted that anyone would dare to report injuries to the police.

     “Why’d you buy jewelry all of a sudden? Mr. McCann didn’t seem to be any worse off than the other shops we’ve been to.” Roxas leaned against Lea to get a proper look at the pendant as they walked down the road.

     “It’s an old symbol.”

     “I know that much. There are crosses everywhere around here. I just didn’t take you for a religious person.”

     “It’s not a cross. Look, these four lines here, those are sunbeams and this little circle in middle is the sun. It’s Beaivi, the sun goddess, and I hope it means good luck for us.” Lea put the pendant on and let it sink behind the hem of his shirt. “We could try and get you one.”

     “Nah, I’m more of a gemstones kind of person,” Roxas joked and smiled when he got an earnest laugh from Lea.

     The trail of destruction became all the more obvious the closer to the slums they came. The thrashing of the shops was nothing in comparison to what had happened here where it seemed as though a hurricane had passed through, knocking walls over, ripping the plastic roofs off and leaving some who had so very little, with nothing. Despite the material loss and the setback of the house building, the children of the sector lit up with excitement as soon as they saw Lea and Roxas on the main road. They were greeted by a bunch of kids, talking over each other and animatedly gesticulating the events that had taken place. None of them seemed to have witnessed the murder of the soldiers, which was at least one point in favor. Getting traumatized people the psychological help they needed was near impossible already.

     The adults of the area approached them hesitantly, heavy sadness clouding their eyes as they told of a small group of people taking the opportunity to steal material from their houses when they were all too afraid to go outside for all the soldiers on the streets.

     A small soup kitchen had opened in one of the smaller houses and offered the people at least one meal a day while they waited for things to go back to normal. The army had put Sector Seven under siege until further notice. They suspected that the group of people who had caused more mayhem than was necessary, originated here. They were to be caught and put through trial for their misdeeds. No one without a certified pass went in or out of Sector Seven until the house arrest was lifted.

     Lea immediately recognized Aerith. She was pouring the soup into bowls and greeting the people in line, spreading her cheer to those who needed it most.

     “This soup is going to lift up your spirits for sure. There’s some butter for everyone in the gift bag. And don’t forget that we’re serving dinner today. Make sure to bring the little ones,” they heard Aerith say loud and clear so that everyone in line could hear.

     Roxas gave Lea a nudge and nodded toward the entrance to the small building.

     “Leon’s here, too.”

     Leon stood by the doorway, talking to someone. He stepped aside and gently put his hand on the back of the person he had been talking with as she walked out to the tables where Aerith’s was standing to bring out more gift bags. He had a small smile on his tired face. Lea almost fell backward and Roxas gaped. The short-haired, blond woman with a faint scowl on her face was one they both remembered well; Larxene.

     “Do you think he knows?” Roxas asked.

     “The doofus face and the sickly obvious touching tells me no.” Lea shuddered.

     “But we have to tell him. She’s on the wanted list, too.”

     “Not yet,” Lea said, a familiar sense for revenge waking up in him.

     “What do you mean ‘not yet’? The sooner he knows the better. Just look at him. I didn’t know he was capable of making a face like that.”

     “Let me handle it. I know how to break these things and if that face is anything to go by, he is going to be heartbroken. You wanna be there when the guy gets his heart broken? Are you mentally ready to comfort him? To pepper him with cliché sayings like ‘there’s plenty of fish in the sea’, ‘you deserve better’, ‘better to have loved and lost than not loved at all’ and other hits?”

     Roxas shrugged.

     “I’ll just make ‘the guy’ some pancakes. Worked for you.” He gave Lea a pat on his shoulder while Lea struggled with whether he should ask Roxas what he meant and if he wanted to know at all. Roxas walked up to Aerith and asked her if she needed help with anything, leaving the way wide open for Lea to talk with Leon.

     “Fancy seeing you here without a murderer to catch,” Lea said as soon as Leon noticed him. The sense for revenge diminished and was now bordering on pity when Lea glanced at Larxene and didn’t see as much as a flinch from her when she looked back at him.

     “It’s important that the citizens know that we are doing this for them and not against them. I’m afraid their trust in us suffered a blow during the night of the strike, and we’re here to try to fix it. You’re on your rounds, I presume?”

     “Yeah. So, who’s the helper?” Lea glanced at Larxene again and then back at Leon. The immediate and apparent scowl on Leon’s face told Lea that Leon had misunderstood his question. Leon stood up straight, pushing his shoulders back to seem bigger than he was. Lea had to bite his tongue to not burst out laughing. Leon couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.

     “She’s a very important witness. After what happened to the soldiers, I’ve made sure she has around the clock protection.”

     “I was thinking more, what’s her name?” Lea teased.

     “Lynn,” Leon disclosed reluctantly.

     “No last name?”

     “She lacks one, much like her peers.”

     “You think she’d be interested in getting one?”

     Leon glared at Lea dangerously and motioned for him to step away from the table to where Leon could be certain that Lynn couldn’t overhear them.

     “You are overstepping,” Leon said seriously. “Lynn has come to us for help and for protection. Our relationship to her is to remain strictly professional. Should I find out that my precise orders have been breached, I will see to it that you are reprimanded, is that clear?”

     “See, I think that those orders have been breached already,” Lea smirked. “I think you may be too close to this case, Superintendent Leon, and I think you want to get closer still. If _you_ obstruct justice, _I_ will have to take measures to counter that. Is _that_ clear?”

     “What are you playing at?”

     “I’m not playing yet. This is just a heads-up.”

    Lea went back to Roxas to tell him that he had to leave for the Royal Library. Roxas protested, but to no avail. With a wave of his hand, Lea teleported to other side of the city.

-x-

A handful of the Berserkers from the old squadron were imprisoned for various crimes. Frank introduced Isa to the gang after a nerve wracking walk down the narrow hallways to the common room where the inmates were allowed a half hour leisure time before lunch. The stench of darkness was stifling with so many of the former Nobodies put together. The guards, apprehensive about Isa’s presence amongst so many of his former comrades, had taken to hose him down in ice cold water every morning before reveille in hopes that it would rid him of possible mind controlling powers they thought he could exert. Little did they know that most of the former Nobodies were trying to find ways to get Isa alone and rip him to shreds. Frank and his gang made it a fearsome task. They were all big, buff mden with a hot temper and nothing to lose. Not the kind any of the others would like to cross.

     Aside from Frank, there was Rupert, Berserker number 12, Clark Berserker number 4, and Nicholas, Berserker number 22. They had only recognized each other after talking. It seemed common amongst former Nobodies to ask about the kind of Nobody others had been and when they had fallen. All of them were punished to labor for repeated offences such as stealing and were currently working to finish up the houses in Sector Three, although, much to Isa’s good fortune, the labor had been postponed until further notice.

     Isa’s eyes wandered from one to another as he tried to hold back a hellish cough that was just one amongst many things that were making it near impossible for him to get any sleep at night. He was the odd one out in this company. He was pale, sickly, muscles wasting away with the lack of exercise and a proper diet. The others, while short on food, were still massive, their faces full of life, and their exposed skin telling of battles well fought.

     “Are you sick or somethin’?” asked Nicholas past the lit cigarette in his mouth. He reached for the dices on the middle of the small round table and shook them in his hands.

     “No, it just takes me a while to get warm after the morning showers.” Isa tucked a damp lock of hair behind his ear and cleared his itching throat.

     Rupert cheered loudly at the three dices and Clark laughed at Nicholas’ frown. They were playing a game they had all been introduced to during their time as recruits at the Royal Army. It wasn’t a game Isa was familiar with, and though he had watched them play it a couple of days in a row, he still couldn’t make out any sort of pattern that would make it understandable.

     “Mail!” Announced a large guard as his assistant pushed a squeaky trolley into the room. “Everyone stay seated and remain calm. Anyone who fails to comply will be rid of their mail privileges.”

     All else became uninteresting to the men who all turned their attention to the trolley and the mailman. Once a week the mailman came. This was the third time Isa had seen him and the effect of hope he had on the men locked in here. Even Frank, who was otherwise tough and brutal, both in words and in manners, turned into an expectant child as the mailman got closer.

     The rest of their break would be spent in silence. It amazed Isa to see a room full of otherwise rowdy people, sit together and read their correspondence as though each word directed to them was worth gold. Some mumbles came from here and there, inmates getting help reading their letters. Some laughed, others cried. Isa settled with just watching, not knowing whether he wasn’t allowed correspondence or if he had no one on the outside who had neither time nor will to write to him.

     “Blooey,” Frank coughed. It was the closest thing he got to calling Isa a Blueface without actually doing it. He had picked up on the faint annoyance on Isa’s face every time he was called ‘Blueface.’ Though the former Berserker meant it in an endearing way, Frank felt that there was another way to go about it. With Isa’s morning showers, he looked blueish, and so ‘Blooey’ seemed like a rational compromise to make. Isa didn’t mind. He had been called worse.

    Frank slid him a small note that had come from one of his envelopes.

    The secrecy made Isa cautious. He hid the note under the table to read it, thinking that maybe it was a note that Frank had written for him, but the handwriting was one Isa recognized well and his heart skipped a painful beat at reading it.

_Stay strong. We’re fighting for you._

_\- Ienzo_

Isa hid the note in his sleeve. The itch grew in his throat and spread through his chest like wildfire. Isa hid behind his arm as he coughed hard, feeling as though he was trying to get knives up his ribcage.

     “You must be coming down with something,” said Rupert with a frown. “That sounded nothing like music to my ears.”

     “We’ve been trying to get the guards to get a doctor down here for days, but you know how these pigs work, fuckin’ ask one leg for permission to move the other. I bet ya anything it’s just a cold, though.” Frank took a deep drag off his cigarette and exhaled. “What Blooey needs is a good night’s sleep. Maybe some of y’all know someone with access to some moonshine?”

     “Pewter had a thing going with the potatoes they were tryin’ to grow, but he got busted and I ain’t seen him since,” said Clark.

     “I’m fine,” Isa mumbled tiredly and leaned back against the wall behind him. “I’ll be fine.”

     A fever didn’t blossom until late that evening. It started out dry, weighing on Isa’s head, stealing his bones of strength. Frank was stuck on nurse duty because the doctor they had asked for was nowhere to be seen. He placed cold compresses on Isa’s forehead and changed them regularly. Over and over, he’d tell Isa to sleep, but Isa could only close his eyes for a couple of minutes at a time before he gasped himself out of a nightmare that made his bones ache hollow.

     “Where are you from, Frank?” Isa asked when he heard Frank climb down from his bunk.

     “Sleep, Blooey.”

     “Why did you join the army?”

     The silence made Isa think that Frank had gone back to bed and fallen asleep, but then he felt Frank change the compress on his forehead to one that was cold.

     “I didn’t know what to do with my life and I thought the army would give me direction. Maybe it would’ve, had I gotten to finish the recruit program. A soldier got good pay, roof over the head. I’d make a good prospect –  get a wife, a couple of kids.”

     “You can still do that.”

     “Fuck, we really do need a doctor, Blooey.” The quizzical look on Isa’s face urged Frank to explain. “We’re stuck in prison until these pigs decide we’ve been punished enough. I bet ya anything that none of ‘em lived the Dark Realm in their own flesh.”

     “Ienzo is fighting for us… he’ll take you to Dilan…”

     “Them your pets?” Frank laughed.

     “Unni is my pet. _Ále ciela, Unni. Čuovo mu_.”

     The feverish nightmares were overlapped with images of open fields of grass, clear night skies, deer and the joyous barks of Unni. Whenever he felt Lea’s presence ghost the beautiful landscapes, Isa forced his eyes open, knowing full well where his mind would take it. He was doomed to Hell already; he didn’t need to add to his sins.

     Isa woke the next morning, delirious, but faintly aware of Frank yelling and the guards dragging him away. The construction sites were open for business and they needed their workers. Frank, Rupert, Clark and Nicholas were taken to the construction site, far away where they could no longer protect Isa.

-x-

Breaking and entering into Ienzo’s lab had been embarrassingly easy. Lea even considered letting Ienzo know how easy it had been once he was done here. If Ienzo’s past was anything to go by, there were at least three gimmicks in here that could destroy the world and such things should not end up in the wrong hands. It had been tricky to find the right room. It wasn’t mapped out in the emergency exits map, but it was the only room with a locked door. After forty minutes of searching and lock picking, Lea was in the archive room, flipping through files in hopes to find Isa’s.

     After a few sporadic days of intense researching, Lea had worked out a plan he thought may convince the Restoration Committee to free Isa and allow him to do good. Before he could present his ideas, however, he needed information that only Ienzo had. Lea had seen Ienzo with power and he wasn’t in any mood to be put through more bureaucracy than necessary. Besides, Lea still had his doubts about Ienzo and his inexplicable interest in Isa.

     Lea balanced a flashlight between his lips as he flipped through the files as fast as he could. There was a system, but the chronological order was not alphabetical. Lea would have to start from the top and work his way through a wall high and wall wide archive with drawers that were a meter deep.

     “Thank you, Beaivi,” Lea mumbled when he found Isa’s admittance file.

     He walked over to the desk in the middle of the room and opened the file. There was only information about Isa’s first admittance to the hospital at the East Wing upon his apprehension. Lea glanced at the archives again, thinking he may have to dive back in. He picked the file back up, pictures falling out of it.

     “What the hell…?”

     Lea flipped through them as he picked the pictures up in bunches, each more horrifying than the other, and yet, Lea couldn’t stop looking. He stood back up and put the pictures onto the desk, looking at them frantically as he tried to make sense of them. There were before and after pictures. The before pictures were gruesome. Isa’s left shoulder was dark, bruised, cracked down to his chest with an open flesh wound that was full of a black substance that held the shoulder together. His eyes were sunken, his skin greyish, his knuckles and arms bruised, nose and mouth full of tubes.

     The after pictures were not that much better. It had taken several attempts to rid Isa from the black substance. Other open wounds had been sutured. His chest looked as though a bomb had gone off where his heart should be. Lea had to pace around the room. He chewed on his lower lip as he ran his hands through his hair, gripping at the back of his head and he pondered on one simple, agonizing question; _did I do that?_

     The door opened. Ienzo stepped in calmly, closing the door after himself as he turned on the lights.

     “What are you doing here?” Ienzo asked, crossing his arms.

     “What the hell is this? What’s happening to him?” Lea pointed at the photos, at the file, still partly talking to himself.

     “Answer my question first.”

     “I’m here for information and answers and you’re gonna give me answers or I swear, Ienzo, I will kill you.” Lea clenched his fists, his horror and confusion had his mood shift back and forth between despair and anger at the pictures before him.

     “Charming,” Ienzo glared at Lea and walked over to him. “Just tell me one thing, Lea. Are you working for him or against him?”

     “Why? You gonna change your answers depending on what I tell you?”

     “For or against?” Ienzo asked again.

     “For,” Lea answered in a mumble.

     “Permanently, I hope. We don’t need coat-turners at the moment. Isa has been through his fair share of pain, Lea. So if you’re here in hopes to find anything that can help the Superintendent with his case to finally bring justice to your friends, I assure you, Isa has paid for his misdeeds. More than you’ll ever know.”

     “What happened to him?” Lea asked.

     “These pictures were taken before surgery. He was brought to us in awful condition. As you can see, he was severely wounded. The dark matter, though worrisome, kept him from bleeding out.”

     “Where’d he get it?”

     “We’re not certain. Isa wasn’t reborn here in Radiant Garden after the battle against Xehanort. We have a theory that there was some sort of discrepancy for the vessels closest to Xehanort. Dilan was found by the shore, almost ten miles from the laboratory where he should have reappeared. Xigbar hasn’t technically reappeared, and Isa… after a close examination of the black matter and his other wounds, we believe that he was reborn at The End of the World."

     "He what?" Lea gaped.

     "All tests we've performed show that he is one hundred percent human. We don’t know how long he was there before he swam to Radiant Garden. Maybe the currents brought him here. We know, however, that after coming to Radiant Garden, he hid in the caves at the northwestern shore for at least two weeks before he was apprehended for battering a baker and for stealing bread.”

     Ienzo flipped the file open to show Lea one picture that hadn’t fallen out of the file.

     “His corneas were amber at the time of his admittance, which led us to believe that he could be in the last revert stage we saw in Terra before he committed suicide. I didn’t think Isa would survive the removal of the black matter, which was one of the many reasons you weren’t informed of his return until months after the fact. We worked hard on stabilizing him. We managed to put his berserker attacks under control by letting him exercise with Dilan.” Ienzo looked at Lea. “His road of recovery has been nothing but speed bumps, but he’s come a long way from this. I’m afraid that his time in prison is undoing our hard work, and that he’s on a fast track to a certain and ugly demise.”

     Lea stared at the photos, chewing on his lower lip, his chest constricted by the repeating of Ienzo’s declaration in his head. The sickness that had kept him in bed for a week, yearning for nothing but sleep, arose like the sun, its thorny crown burning and cutting through his insides.

     “How did he get the wounds?” Lea asked at last, the answer already clear to him, but he needed to hear it out loud.

     “In battle,” Ienzo said, showing mercy where none was needed.

     “Did I do this?” Lea tried again. His voice sharp and somber.

     “Yes.” Ienzo collected all of the pictures and put them in their designated place. “According to the reports I’ve read, both you and Roxas fought Saïx. At the time of the final blow, you must have crossed your light. Where one Keyblade would have done the trick, two was an attempt at execution. As you saw.” Ienzo put the file away and walked to the other side of the archives.

     “Have you seen Isa?”

     “Not since I tended to him last, before he was detained and imprisoned. I managed to track down some former Nobodies who have reason to be loyal to Isa. I wrote one of them a note, and I hope Isa got to read it.”

     “Look, Ienzo, I’ve got an idea on how to get him out. Problem is that it’s gonna take time with lots of meetings, shuffling paper back and forth, but…” Lea cleared his throat quickly. “I think we’ve gotta go check on him. Make sure he’s alright. Permission or not.”

     Ienzo gave a slow nod, not at all surprised at what Lea was suggesting.

     “Those former Nobodies you mentioned, who are they?” Lea asked.

     “Berserkers. The communication only goes one way. I asked the sister of one to slip a note of mine to her brother and ask him to give it to Isa. I assume that Isa is known by everyone at the prison. Should this person find Isa, I believe he would prove himself useful as a guardian. What’s your plan then?”

     “I’ll see Isa first, depending on how it goes, I’ll have to tweak my plan. I– ”

     “You do realize that you can’t just take him out of prison? He is out of your jurisdiction. You may go unscathed, but Isa will suffer the consequences if he flees. If it had been as easy as just walking out of there with him, I would’ve done it myself.”

     “What do you suggest we do in the meantime?” Lea asked, frustrated. “You said it yourself, he is in danger while he’s in there, and our chances of bringing him back diminish every day that goes by.”

     “As we see it, there is only one thing we can do to make the Restoration Committee reconsider, and by ‘we’ I mean, myself, Dr. Even and Aeleus. I have yet to convince Dilan.” Ienzo sighed tiredly.

     “What?”

     “Threaten with a strike.” 


	16. True Colors

* * *

Mr. Ferris had taken Lea to his office as soon as the birthday party came to an end. He had stared at Lea in silence, disapproval written over his face more clearly than on any other occasion. Lea sat and held his breath, hoping that he didn’t look as guilty as he felt to not let his father believe that he was onto something. The sermon had been long. Nothing that Lea hadn’t heard before. It was getting difficult to seem remotely regretful for his actions when he knew the program by heart already.

     “I may have to change roles here, Lea. Isa is not a good influence on you. I thought you would be stronger than this. I can’t have his savage ways ruin your future.”

     Lea looked back at his father for the first time in nearly an hour. His chest tightened at the casual reminder of the grand political scheme his father had proudly come up with along with his party comrades. The idea was simple: ‘convert the savages.’ With education and proper culture exposure the ‘savages’ could be civilized and integrated in society. At least integrated enough to create a dependency which would make acquiring their lands a more efficient affair than massacre. Many in their circles thought it impossible, but Mr. Ferris’ plan was to make an example of Isa, show them all that if they intervened early enough, they could rid themselves of the obstacles keeping Radiant Garden from prospering. To lure Isa to them, to keep him in Radiant Garden, Lea worked as bait, as the bridge between Isa’s culture and beliefs and the culture and beliefs of the more advanced and civilized. This was to be Lea’s stepping stone into politics. It was how he was going to gain his father’s respect and make him proud. Lea hadn’t thought it would be a big deal. His role had seemed minuscule in the grand scheme of things, but the ever growing fear of losing Isa had heightened the stakes. He saw no way out of it now.

     “Do you think Augustus would be up for it?” asked Mr. Ferris. “That child has gotten involved with much too liberal politics as of late. Maybe a bribe could bring him back to us. Isa seems to have grown attached to him.”

     “He’s against the idea,” Lea said, clenching his fist.

    Augustus hadn’t skipped a beat before he had told Lea all the things that were wrong with the idea. It had been their first falling out. Lea had gotten Augustus to keep it a secret with some vague threats he couldn’t remember. Should Augustus ever decide to tell anyone, tell Isa, Lea would lose everything, and yet, that wasn’t even the most delicate information Augustus sat on.

     Lea was sent to his room. The unsettling feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. Each passing day made it more and more difficult to face Isa without the risk of having his shame show as clearly as the nose on Augustus’s face.

     The sickening emotion dissolved for a brief moment when he saw the gift that Isa had left for him on his bed, wrapped in a checkered scarf that wouldn’t be considered fashionable anywhere in Radiant Garden. Lea opened the small box inside what he assumed to be a scarf and inspected the pendant closely as he ran his thumb across the inscription. He didn’t know what it meant, but he loved it. This was something Isa had made himself, the braided necklace of leather, the inscription, the softness of the stone, it was all him. That night, with the pendant visible on his nightstand and the scarf held tightly to his chest, Lea fell asleep.

-x-

The two weeks that followed were anything but easy. Lea yearned to spend every waking moment with Isa, but under his father’s watchful eye he had to keep his distance to show that Isa’s influence was near non-existent. His father could rest easy and trust him soon enough. Isa’s worried glances his way did not go by unnoticed. It took Isa a few days to realize that Lea was wearing the pendant. He didn’t ask Lea about it, not whether Lea liked it or if he wasn’t worried that his parents would notice, nothing but subtle glances. Lea wanted more.

     The scarf Isa had left behind became Lea’s source for more. At night, he would inhale what was left of Isa’s scent, sometimes having it ignite thoughts inside his head he was certain would send anyone to the gallows. When he started to wear it casually, his mother would ask about it with a frown. Lea told her that Madeleine had made it for him. Isa would smile at him and tell him not to wear it; it had been a tablecloth before it had become wrapping for a gift. Isa didn’t know how addictive his scent was to Lea, or how important it was to him to keep Isa as close as he could. If he had to wear a tablecloth for a scarf to satisfy his need, that’s what he would do.

     It was Friday evening and Isa was ready to leave for the weekend to go and visit his grandfather. He would be gone for three whole days until late on Monday. This was a long weekend; the School Committee was scheduled to hold a conference for the teachers of Radiant Garden. At the last moment, Lea had packed a bag and hurried downstairs and out to where Isa was getting into the coach. There was no time for Lea to find his parents and tell them personally that he was leaving for the weekend. He left a note and got into the coach as casually as he could, the scarf around his neck to protect him from the chilly breeze outside.

     “Lea…” Isa began, smiling.

     “It’s cold,” Lea cut in. He had seen Isa eye the scarf and he fixed it before he leaned back with a nonchalant yawn.

     “Are you going to visit Madeleine?” Isa asked when he noticed Lea’s bag.

     “I was hoping I could go with you?” Lea clasped his hands in front of his face in a plea and lowered his head slightly. “Pretty please?”

     “Does your dad know? I mean… I don’t mind. But… you know… I thought you were upset with me for something.”

     “Upset?” Lea took the opportunity of moving over to sit next to Isa when the coach set off at the raspberry the driver blew the horse. He flopped down as close to Isa as he could and grinned. “I’m not upset. You?”

     “No,” Isa chuckled.

     “Good. It’s gonna be a long trip, care for a game of thumb war?”

     Lea held Isa’s hand tightly as they both chanted, “One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!”

     An hour later, the coach approached the Golden Gates. Isa had hurried from the gates to his front door as fast as his legs could carry him. Lea ran after him without complaining, expertly avoiding the protruding roots on the narrow road through the forest. Isa threw the door open, immediately catching his grandfather’s attention from where he stood behind the counter.

     “ _Addjá_!” Isa exclaimed happily. Nilas met Isa halfway and pulled him in for a hug, chuckling words Lea didn’t understand.

     “Lea,” Nilas said in a gentle greeting. “Welcome.”

     “ _Bures_ ,” Lea said and smiled.

     “ _Bures_ ,” Nilas said, amused.

     “ _Addjá, mus lea borranmiella_ ,” Isa said to his grandfather.

     The change in Isa when he was home was astounding. He seemed more confident, at least more than he was at Lea’s house where words had to be dragged out of him from time to time, especially in bigger company. Lea was fast determined to learn to speak Isa’s language. He had tried to, but the road to fluency was a long one and he had barely started his journey. Lea had, however, heard his name mentioned by Isa, and he assumed he knew what had been said.

     “Yeah, it was a last minute decision coming here. I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you in advance that I would come. I hope it’s not a problem,” Lea began, but he quickly stopped talking when Isa shook his head, looking much too amused while Nilas seemed clueless.

     “ _Háledat go don guhppáriid?_ ” Nilas asked as he rounded the counter.

     “Alright, yes! _That_ I understand,” Lea said proudly. It was a question Nilas always asked when Isa and Lea came back inside after hours of play and work. “I will definitely have some, Mr. Svonni, thanks. Also, is that dessert I smell? It smells heavenly.”

     “That’s my mom’s potpourri, Lea.”

     “I thought she used the Autumn Sunset mix, though? That smell is definitely something edible.”

     Isa grabbed Lea by his wrist and led Lea up to his bedroom where they could leave their bags while Nilas prepared their plates. Lea didn’t shy away when Isa pressed his hands against his shoulders. Lea leaned back playfully to make the trip up the steep stairs a bit of a challenge for Isa and chuckled once they made it upstairs.

     “You’ve set up the telescope!” Lea dropped his bag on the floor and walked up to the telescope by the one window in Isa’s room. “Have you seen any flying saucers yet?”

     “Actually, we’ve seen some strange activity up in the sky,” Isa said as he pushed Lea’s backpack to the side of the door.

     “We?” The pronoun hit Lea’s chest like a lightning bolt.

     “Yeah, Augustus was here last weekend. He wanted to see the night sky for himself.”

     “Did your grandad give him a hard time?” Lea asked dryly, but Isa failed to notice the strain in Lea’s voice.

     “He almost fainted lifting a few sacks of bark. You wanna hear something weird?”

     “Weirder than Augustus doing physical labor?”

     “Ten times weirder.”

     Lea looked up from the telescope to turn to Isa, but his gaze fell to the floor.

     “There has been shooting stars on and off these past days and they follow a pattern that I’ve seen before, but not as frequently as this. All of them disappear into the castle. Look,” Isa pulled his notebook out from the disarray of papers on his small desk and flipped it open to the latest entries. Some of the drawings, the ones Isa had drawn while observing the phenomena, were sloppy, the smaller ones around the corners of the entries were not.

     Lea lifted his gaze from the drawings slightly to watch Isa show him his findings. He wanted to focus on the beauty of Isa’s silhouette, but all he could think of was all the times Isa would have run up to Augustus to show him his theories and conclusions doodled in his notebooks, standing just as close, speaking just as enthusiastically.

     “This part here of the castle, it’s in the middle, I guess it’s a courtyard or garden for the king, surely surrounded by guards. I think it may serve as a runway for the aliens,” Isa said, pointing to his drawing.

     “They can’t just drop in whenever they want, can they?”

     “I think that most visits are diplomatic, or planned at least. And some are more experienced with the technology than others. The other night there was an erratic blue light that lit up in the sky, and despite the twirls and the high velocity, it managed to land within the castle, too.”

     “But what would our king have to say to a bunch of aliens? ‘Please don’t kill us?’”

     “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and maybe, just maybe, it’s about export and import.”

     “Of what?”

     “Of stuff like food or medicine or technology. If we take coffee beans for example. There aren’t many farms or plantations around. I know of one coffee plantation facility. One. The coffee they produce is the one your mom has on sale all the time, but what about the other types of coffee? Where do they come from?” Isa asked seriously, frowning slightly at voicing his concern. It was just about the most adorable thing Lea had seen. It took all of Lea’s self-restraint to hold back an amused reaction.

     “You’ve been looking up my mom? Isa, she’s not an alien...” Lea suddenly put his hands over his mouth, too late to stop himself from laughing.

     “What?” Isa asked, offended.

     “Be honest.” Lea shook with laughter and needed a couple of seconds before he could talk again. “Do you think that the coffee beans come in different flavors directly from the plant?”

     “W-well…” Isa blushed. “I know that there is more than one kind of coffee bean... Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

     Lea wiped the corners of his eyes and let out a loud sigh. “You’re something else, Isa,” he said. “Anyway, I brought a bag of coffee for your grandad, as a thanks for letting me stay here. You think he’ll like it?”

     Isa lit up. “You did? Can I see?”

     “Yeah. I think I brought a bag of Sea Salt Caramel Mocha,” Lea said as he dug into his backpack for the coffee, certain that it would get a reaction out of Isa.

     “Are you serious?” Isa asked tiredly and sunk his face into one hand.

     “No,” Lea smiled and showed Isa the bag. “Chocolate Mint. Not naturally flavored.”

     “I’m gonna shove you down the stairs.” Isa walked up to Lea, pressing up against Lea to push him out of the room.

     “The Sea Salt Caramel Mocha on the other hand come from large trees that only produce a limited amount of quality beans once a year. They turn into licorice if not picked in time–”

     “Lea!”

     Lea laughed all the way downstairs, almost tripping over his feet at the last step and had Isa bump into him. They both froze when they saw Nilas stand by the front door. The old man turned to face them, a wrinkled frown on his face.

     “ _Addjá_ , what is it?” Isa asked with concern, walking up to his grandfather who mumbled a sad reply. Lea waited patiently for them to end their discussion and followed them to the dining table in their small, cozy living room where the open fireplace crackled.

     Nilas finished his story and discussed it with Isa for a while before he turned his attention to his plate and ate with disappointment and worry that tainted the taste of his food.

     “Did something happen?” Lea asked finally.

     “People from the tribe have been disappearing. Four have disappeared this week,” Isa said quietly.

     “Anyone know why?”

     Isa shook his head.

     “Does anyone know where they might have gone?”

     “Some think that they were brought to the castle as prisoners. Relations haven't been good between us and the townsfolk lately. Not since one of our Elders was accused of stealing. The Royal Guards are using that as an excuse to round up anyone they think is acting suspicious.”

     Lea gave a slow nod for reply. They ate in silence and once they were done Nilas excused himself in that gloomy way of his, making no mention of dessert.

     “Where’s he off to at this time?” Lea asked as soon as the front door slammed shut after Nilas.

     “To the Elders probably. With how things have been going, they might be planning some sort of rebellion against the king or something. They won’t let the rest of us know until the plan is complete.”

     “You’d join them?”

     “Of course I would. I have to defend what’s mine. If the king refuses to stop oppressing us, then what other choice do we have but to fight him and his army?”

     “Isa, they’ll destroy you. Like straight up obliterate you from this world.” Lea leaned forward and spoke in a low voice. “The soldiers are armed to their teeth and what’s more, I’ve heard rumors that they are trying to find ways to teach all high-ranked soldiers to use magic. I mean, can you imagine? They’ll be able to throw fireballs at you from a safe distance and heal themselves from wounds. You’d just be inviting them to massacre you.”

     Isa crossed his arms. “What do you suggest we do then? Just sit back and watch your king steal our land and resources all the while incarcerating us for crimes we haven’t committed?”

     Was there anything worse than Isa drawing a line between them, accenting their differences and the space between them? Isa uncrossed his arms, looking apologetically at Lea at having heard what he had said.

     “If you want, we could try to save them,” Lea said as soon as the idea formed in his head. “It’ll be a bit of an adventure, but I’m up for it if you are. I know the layout of the castle. We know the guards’ training schedule. I say we go in there unnoticed and bring them back home before the guards even break a sweat.”

     Isa leaned forward, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

     “As serious as a heart attack.”

     “We’re gonna need a plan. We can’t just walk in there willy nilly.”

     “Way ahead of ya. We go there tomorrow, do some recon, time ourselves and try to find two alternative routes out, and we need to locate the prisoners. On Monday, we strike.”

     “You think it’ll be that easy?”

     “I think that by Monday evening, we’ll all be around this table eating _guhppáriid_ and looking forward to dessert,” Lea said confidently.

     “That does sound better than rebellion,” Isa smiled softly.

     “Infinitely better,” Lea agreed. “Not to change the subject or anything, but is there any dessert today? Your mom’s potpourri is playing tricks on my mind.”

     “Let’s go check.”

     They found a stack of pancakes and homemade cloudberry jam. Nilas sold the jam for a small fortune, and only the wealthiest of the townspeople knew the heavenly taste of it. To Isa cloudberry jam was as normal as a glass of milk in Lea’s house. Every summer when Isa went out with the reindeer, he’d pick lots of cloudberries together with Nilas. Last summer, Lea had been part of the picking, too, although more berries made it into his mouth than to his basket.

     With bellies full, they went back upstairs to Isa’s room. Isa showed Lea the night sky through the telescope and helped him name the stars and constellations Lea had only seen with naked eyes each night they had spent out in the woods.

     “How come you’ve never introduced me to your other friends, Isa?” Lea asked as Isa pulled out a mattress from his closet.

     “What other friends?”

     “From the tribe.”

     “Oh,” Isa paused and shrugged. “I don’t have any… after my mom moved to the city, the Elders feared I’d spread stories about it and inspire others to do the same. It doesn’t help that I go to school in Radiant Garden now. But they’ll see when I come back, we’ll work toward a brighter future.”

     It was barely midnight when Isa fell asleep on his bed, covers thrown all over. Lea lay quietly on the mattress beside Isa’s bed and stared up at the ceiling for a while and listened to Isa’s soft breathing and occasional mutterings. Nilas had yet to come home. His bedroom was down the hall and there hadn’t been any heavy footsteps outside the door. Lea sat up and scooted himself closer to Isa’s bedside. He sat up and rested his chin against it to watch Isa’s face closely. Stray hairs lay across his forehead and over the hand he had by his face.

     Lea couldn’t close his eyes without seeing himself holding Isa’s hand, embracing him, his face buried in the nape of Isa’s neck. It was a sickness, he told himself as he fought the urge to run his fingers through Isa’s hair. Devil’s lackeys were those men who seduced other men with a woman’s allure; they ought to be hanged twice and burn in fiery pits. The minister of the parish Lea belonged to couldn’t stress that enough and the whole congregation had been in consensus. Mr. Ferris had mentioned it a few times as well, usually when they went to public hangings. Lea couldn’t imagine anything about Isa being remotely devilish, not on purpose.

     _Has he not seduced Augustus as much and as expertly as he has seduced you?_ asked a voice in the back of his head. Lea closed his eyes tightly and shook his head to silence the poisoning voice. Isa had no responsibility to take for Lea’s wicked thoughts. If anything, Isa was the reason Lea hadn’t acted on them. He could count on Isa for maintaining the boundaries between them so that Lea could never ruin what they had.

-x-

Sneaking into the castle proved much easier than anything else on their to-do-list. It was moving around in the castle that proved to be difficult. Guards stood in every corner. They marched back and forth down every corridor. It hadn’t occurred to neither Isa nor Lea that the guards didn’t practice all at once. They had managed to get halfway to their mark without being noticed, but each passing second was a risk. Lea’s heart had nearly sunk the five stories down to the main entrance when they had turned a corner, straight into the arms of two large guards. It had taken him a whole second to recognize Dilan, one of his mother’s frequent guests on her events. Mr. Ferris had only good things to say about Dilan and his quick rise through the ranks. Dilan had recognized Lea immediately and frowned.

     “What are you two doing here?”

     “I’m giving my friend a tour of the castle,” Lea had said confidently. “I was granted permission by the king in exchange for two sacks of coffee.”

     “Have you heard anything about this, Aeleus?” Dilan asked the building of a man standing next to him who shook his head once. “Your father will hear about this if you’re lying, boy,” Dilan said and motioned for both Lea and Isa to move forward.

     They were back in the main hallway of the floor when Lea grabbed Isa’s wrist and sprinted toward the back door staircase to another floor. Isa barely kept up at first. Dilan and Aeleus ran after them, but they weren’t as fast and they had soon lost the intruders in the maze of corridors. After an hour of hiding behind shrubbery, Lea and Isa decided to abort mission and try to make it outside without being caught. It had been easier said than done. The guards were on alert and thrilled by the notion of finding the intruders. After much sneaking and adrenaline kicks, Lea and Isa made it out of the castle, and ran back to the plaza where they could blend into the crowd.

     “How long a break do you need?” Lea asked after a long moment of silence.

     “We’re not giving up?” Isa asked surprised.

     “I won’t give up if you don’t. It’s this or a rebellion, remember?”

     “Right,” Isa sighed and smiled. “Thirty minutes?”

     “Care for a sea salt ice cream in the meantime?” Lea grinned and threw his arm over Isa’s shoulders to lead him in the direction of the ice cream stand.

     “Sure, why not. I just saw my life flash before my eyes. I need something familiar to ground me,” Isa chuckled as he rubbed his hand over his heart.

     “Don’t worry about getting caught. Dilan wouldn’t want to upset my dad. At worst, we’ll get thrown out. Should anything else happen, I’ll protect you.”

     “Against those giants?” Isa countered.

     “Against those giants and whatever comes after them,” Lea said.

     “There you go again, Lea. Saying things you don’t mean.”

     “You think I’d lie about something like protecting you?” Lea pouted. “Let’s not forget I nearly walked a mile in pitch darkness to have a shit just because you told me to. I could’ve been eaten by a bear. At this point, I think it’s safe to say I’ll do anything for you.”

     “Anything?” Isa laughed softly, looking at Lea just as Lea did the same. They were caught in each other’s gaze, a short, but palpable, silence highlighting the charged moment. They both looked away at the same time. Lea pulled his arm back and cleared his throat nervously, his hands in his pockets while Isa crossed his arms.

     “I’m gonna meet up with Augustus later today,” Isa said as they stopped in front of the ice cream stand.

     “Why?” Lea kicked at some gravel, playing with the coins in his pocket.

     “We’re gonna discuss the content in our next pamphlet, and we’re planning an event. It’s gonna involve the whole school, so it’s pretty important.”

     “Like that protest he was gonna organize against the School Board?” Lea asked. “That didn’t quite fall through, huh? It’s still just you and him in Dr. Even’s class. Wasn’t equality one of Augustus’ great principles or was that just him showing off?”

     “What’s with you? So one of his ideas didn’t work, but that was because we couldn’t get enough people onboard. We’re hoping this event will do better.”

     “Augustus is a coward, Isa. He’s gonna come up with ideas and then have you and everyone else follow through. That way he doesn’t put his neck on the line. If this ‘new event’ you’re planning is anywhere as political as his other one, you’ll be the one to receive the bigger punishment. I’m just saying be careful with what you let him convince you into.”

     “Says the one who convinced me to sneak into the castle,” Isa sighed.

     “I got you out, didn’t I?”

     They had their ice cream break before they snuck into the castle again where they once more failed to locate the supposed prisoners.

-x-

During their attempts on Monday, Isa and Lea had run into a boy their age who had held a large key for a toy weapon. Lea had thought of the story Isa once had told him about the mysterious giant key-carrying alien who had saved the tribes from the Royal Guards. Maybe the boy had been an alien, too? Ventus, as the boy was called, turned out to be quite a good fighter and had a smile that made Lea’s heart skip a beat. It had never happened to him before. He had stood there, dragging out their meeting for as long as possible, all the while thinking that he was acting like a character in Eve’s silly romance novels. Isa had been in a hurry to get to the castle, especially since Lea had insisted on bringing ‘weapons’ with him to show Isa how serious he was about protecting him. Apparently, it was a bit of an embarrassment to be seen with Lea now that he was wielding frisbees as weapons.

     Lea had been hoping that Ventus would be a student at the school, but after searching through the books of registered students, Lea had to accept that there was no one by the name of Ventus in school and that it would prove to be difficult to find him without a last name. For a minute, he entertained the thought of putting up flyers around town with a drawing of Ventus and an urging message to contact him should anyone know where to find him. But Lea figured that it would be a desperate attempt, even for him. Still, it could be worth a shot. He hadn’t felt this eager to keep a friend since he met Isa.

     After hours of searching through school files and recent censuses, Lea decided to sneak into the classroom by the entrance to play with the guinea pigs for a while and groom them properly. The poor creatures needed their water and food changed, too. Lea broke into all the drawers and cupboards until he found the bag of food for the guinea pigs. Time flew in their company. He had wanted a pet for as long as he could remember. Carefully, Lea put the guinea pigs back into their cage and made sure to lock it properly. They would die if they managed to get out in this weather.

     Most students had gone home hours ago. The hallways were dimly lit while the security guards made their last rounds on school grounds to make sure that no one was left behind before they closed for the night. Lea would have gone home earlier had he not known that Isa would be out with Augustus. He could have spent time with any of his other friends, or Madeleine even, but sulking had felt like the right thing to do. It would make it easier to seem sad and bored when Isa came back home and saw Lea sit in his room, lonely and sad.

     Light came from one of the classrooms down the dark hallway. Lea stopped and stared for a second, curiosity getting the better of him. He put his bag down and tiptoed his way to the classroom with the door cracked open. Augustus’s voice had Lea quickly lean forward to try to get a better look to what was happening inside the classroom without being caught. The light was dim. Both stood up. Isa clutched at the strap of his backpack and looked up at Augustus, laughing at what Lea could only assume was an atrocious joke. They had been about to leave, but Augustus had put a hand on Isa’s arm. He had the audacity to look Isa in the eye with a gentle gaze that had acidic jealousy bubble in the pit of Lea’s stomach and slowly spread through his veins. He would only need a spark to explode.

     “Isa, there is something that I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time. Two things, really. But this in particular.” Augustus paused and withdrew his hand reluctantly. He didn’t look away from Isa. He had no reason to; honesty was much too important to Augustus and it gave him the strength he needed to maintain eye contact. Lea, on the other hand, had his chest clench immediately. He had a web of lies to protect.

     Isa didn’t say anything, he waited patiently for the rest.

     “It will be hard to believe, but please, think about it. I… I care about you, Isa. Very much, I do. You’re a good friend. And honest, a quality which I’ve found is hard to come by in people.” Augustus pushed his glasses up his nose nervously and smiled at Isa. To think that someone like him thought he had a chance at anything that would surpass a pitiful friendship.

     Isa smiled back at Augustus, and Lea’s heart sank.

     “I care about you, too, Augustus.”

     Augustus blushed and stuttered.

     “Th-there’s a political game happening here in Radiant Garden. Power struggles. And there are many people involved. Many. Mr. Ferris is one of the most powerful ones and he has long since introduced Lea into this game. They want your land and resources, Isa, and Mr. Ferris wants to accomplish that by using you to state an example of conversion.” Augustus fiddled with his glasses, searching Isa’s face for a reaction while he spoke. “The plan is to force young Solars into the city to vanquish your culture. Isa, Lea is ‒”

     Lea stormed into the room, the door slamming against the wall with a loud bang. There was still time to salvage this. In a battle for Isa’s trust, Lea was certain that he would win over Augustus. Even in a physical fight, Lea was certain that he could win despite being shorter. Augustus was weak-minded, oblivious to his build, inattentive to any other skill he could develop other than his intellect. Lea could break him like a twig, mentally, physically. With the spill of the dark secret fresh in Lea’s mind, he thought he would do just that. He punched Augustus on the jaw before Augustus could back away. His head flung to the side and he whimpered like a scared dog. It was enough of a comfort to dull the ache spreading across Lea’s knuckles while he forcibly dragged Augustus up and angled his face to better decide how to rearrange it.

     “You get a kick out of trash talking me and my family, huh, Augustus?” Lea shivered at the pleasant sensation of knowing that he was about to rid himself of the jealousy threatening to burn him alive and unload it all on the person attempting to take what he held dear. Before he could, Isa stepped in between.

     “Lea! Stop!”

     Lea lost his nerve in an instant. He wasn’t prepared to do damage control. He didn’t want to see distrust or anything resembling disgust in Isa’s cerulean blue eyes and know that he was the reason for it, but he couldn’t look away.

     “He’s lying,” Lea heard himself say past the dryness in his mouth.

     Augustus stood on shaky legs, shocked, frightened at seeing blood on his hand when he wiped the side of his mouth. Isa urged him to leave, to be careful, all the while standing in between him and Lea, protecting him as if there was anything about Augustus worth appreciating. The coward in Augustus showed in his run for the exit. To save himself, he would leave Isa behind. Lea didn’t dare to look away from Isa to take in the sight of Augustus escaping. He didn’t want to give Isa reason to doubt him.

     “Isa, I would never –  _never_ –  do anything to hurt you. You have to believe me. Augustus, he, he’s jealous. Of us. Of our friendship. Isa…” Lea couldn’t remember the last time he had been this scared of being caught lying. Lying was his second nature, as well as it should be. He was the son of a powerful politician. Any politician worth his weight in gold could lie, deny the truth until he was blue in the face and his tongue black with tainted words, but Lea wasn’t fully trained yet. He averted his gaze, quickly realizing his mistake only to see that Isa hadn’t.

     “I’ll protect you, remember? From the guards and everything that comes after. You’re my best friend, Isa. You mean the world to me… and if he...”

     Isa had walked in closer, his hands closing around Lea’s gently. The brief conflict of deciding who to trust, was quickly resolved. Augustus had barely left a scratch on Isa’s trust for Lea. Lea had been trembling, shifting his weight from one foot to another, and didn’t feel his soul return to his body until he absentmindedly entwined his fingers around Isa’s. Lea only closed his eyes for a brief second, lured into security by the same trust Isa had fallen for. He was certain that Isa would never let his guard down when they both stood by the edge of God’s mercy. They were leaning dangerously close to territory that promised nothing but His wrath. Lea could have done something to stop it, too, but his eyes had been closed. When Isa stood so near that all Lea could breathe was his addictive scent, then surely, no one could judge him for showing weakness in front of one the Devil’s most practiced lackeys. Isa’s lips were softer than Lea had ever imagined, almost like Madeleine’s but lacking in taste of summer fruits. Lea stood frozen, every fiber in his body urging him to give in to something his mind screamed was wrong. The faces of his family and friends flashed before him. The hurt he would cause them by being weak made itself reminded to him. As much as he would like to give in, his reaction showed that it wasn’t enough to choose Isa over everything else in his life that he had fought hard to accomplish.

     Lea shoved Isa back brusquely. His yearning had turned to disgust in the blink of an eye. It was what he needed as confirmation that the God he believed in was looking out for him. He was being given strength to fight temptation and expose the Devil’s lackey residing in Isa that made sodomites out of decent men. Lea had clenched his fists before he knew it. Isa had betrayed him, his family, and brought the worst of sins over him.

     The quick and sudden punch surprised Isa as much as it had surprised Augustus. He didn’t make a sound when his head flung to the side the first time, but the second knocked Isa off his feet and he whimpered when he tripped over his backpack behind him. He twisted his ankle and fell down onto his knees.

     Isa’s voice broke the trance Lea had disappeared into. Lea was breathing hard. His knuckles were bruising, so much so that he couldn’t clench his fist if he tried. The anger receded into a heavy lump that settled in his chest at seeing Isa slowly wipe the blood running down his nose with the back of his hand. He didn’t bother to make sure that it was blood. Isa wasn’t new to violence. He rose to his feet and picked up his backpack, his eyes glued to the floor.

     Lea could only look. No words could get past the lump in his chest. He wasn’t sure he even knew how to speak at this moment. Isa’s reaction would help him out of it, Lea was sure. But Isa didn’t have one. He didn’t try to hit him back, to yell at him, to explain, cry, anything. Isa walked out of the room, the sound of his steps fading down the hallway, and Lea stood planted on the same spot, unable to do anything with the burn of Isa’s kiss still on his lips.


	17. Red-handed

* * *

A strike would inevitably send Radiant Garden to a brusque halt and harm individuals and the system alike. There were a few capable doctors around, but none had reached Ienzo’s level of mastery, one that had saved countless lives on the operating table. His attention to detail in every area of his profession made him a reliable doctor with patients that adored him. Dr. Even’s knowledge of psychiatry, law and medicine were indispensable. He educated those who would carry on his legacy and help bring Radiant Garden to her feet. Should Dilan join his former comrades in this strike, the army would lose its head, and the training of soldiers and guards alike would stop, leaving hundreds of men out of anything to do while waiting for the strike to be over. Dilan would bring his most immediate subordinates with him. Restless men was the last thing the Restoration Committee needed roaming the streets.

     Lea had been shocked at hearing their plan. Ienzo had berated him that one time he was gone for a few hours to help them with Xion, insisting on the importance of his patients, and now, he was willing to use them as leverage in order to save Isa. Lea was told to not breathe a word of it to anyone. Taken by worry for Isa, Lea agreed.

     For three days, he pondered about his plans, immersing himself in work to rid himself of the urge to break into the prison and take Isa back with him. By the evening on the third day, no work could rid Lea of the need to make sure that Isa was okay. There had to be something he could do.

     Roxas had looked suspiciously at Lea since he had gotten back from Ienzo’s lab. Lea couldn’t blame him. Roxas read Lea like an open book written in a language he understood parts of; it’s why he knew that something wasn’t right, but couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

     "This doesn't concern you," Lea had said when Roxas asked about the things he was reading.

     "So, we're back to keeping secrets from each other? When has that ever worked for you?"

     "Old habits die hard, Roxas. Trust me, you don't want in on this."

     The prison facility was a large and grim fort that had been built on the ruins of the old army's dorms. The large building was at least a hundred years old. It stood on a small island north of the wall that had been created by the destructive waves that had hit Radiant Garden during the First Fall. The setting made the fort a perfect prison. Bribing the guards at the prison for information about Isa’s whereabouts was out of the question. No one would dare to jeopardize the catch of the century, and so, Lea had to go another way about it in order to get an idea of where he could find Isa to not have to search through all of the four hundred cells.

     “I heard that this prison facility is the envy of many worlds, Twilight Town amongst others. I had to come and see it for myself." Lea flashed a young guard a brilliant smile as he let his eyes wander as though it was the first time he saw anything as impressive as the fort. "As you know, I used to be stationed at Twilight Town and I just never understood what the whole hype was about because the security level at the prison in Twilight Town is just - state of the art. There’s simply no way to top it, or so I thought,” Lea continued, watching the guard’s expression change from stern to that of a proud parent. They walked down the inside court, surrounded by the high walls that was the prison.

     “It’s not so much the technological advances that are the envy. Our staff puts a lot of effort into their work and it shows in our security levels,” the guard explained.

     “It sure does, but I’m still a little worried. As you may know, we caught Organization XIII’s second in command a while ago and take it from me, that guy has an infinite amount of cards up his sleeve. How are you dealing with that? My boss would like to know.”

     The soldier smiled nervously. Everyone knew the name of the Lea’s ‘boss’. Yen Sid, along with King Mickey, Aqua and Riku, were well regarded in Radiant Garden and celebrated as Keyblade Masters, but Yen Sid especially, considering that he had been there for the coming of all three of his successors.

     “All things considered, we are doing very well, if I may say so myself. We have taken precautions to keep his mind control abilities to a minimum. The prisoners are working with us to keep a close eye on him, and our efforts have proven fruitful most of the time. We believe we may have weakened his ability to poison those around him.”

     “Mind control abilities, huh?” Lea clenched his jaw and reminded himself that he was here for answers and not to cause trouble. “What precautions have you taken?”

     “For one, hosing him down with water in the morning has helped a lot. The rate of prisoners complaining over headaches have diminished. Unfortunately, we did have an event take place a few days ago where a fight broke out between a group of prisoners and the Nobody. The Nobody was put in solitary in order to keep the others safe.”

     “Solitary. That’s great. The solitary cells were on the top floor, right?”

     “No, we have our solitary cells below ground level. Usually we have two floors of solitary cells open, but due to the first basement floor being flooded by a small breach between the foundation and the sea water, we only have the second basement level open. They are still very safe. We have a squad going on rounds every half hour. I assure you, sir, only Superintendent Leon could get that Nobody out of here in one piece.”

     “My boss will love hearing that. What’s your name?”

     “David, sir! David Basing.”

     “I’ll be sure to mention your name, David. I will leave you to do your job now. I have to get this report to my boss before sunrise unless I want a place for myself here.”

    David saluted Lea as Lea prepared himself to teleport. David was much too blinded by the prospect of having his name mentioned to Master Yen Sid to take notice of the fact that Lea was supposedly teleporting off world without the proper equipment.

     Lea appeared in a dark, humid hallway just a few meters from where he had stood with David. Drops of seawater covered the stonewall, moss growing in small cracks where layers of salt hadn't formed. This place was a thing of nightmares. Mutterings and pleas sounded from every other cell. Inmates who couldn’t bear to be their own company going mad in their solitude. How long had they been kept there that their thoughts turned into torment? Lea hurried down the hallway, looking into the small spring-windows on the thick doors until he stopped by one where he saw Isa’s silhouette by the other side of the wall, the dim moonlight casting light on his hair.

     Lea was gone for less than a second. He appeared in Isa’s cell and looked toward the window; Isa was no longer there, nor was he on the narrow bed of rusty bars and a thin mattress. Lea gulped. He had seen Isa as clear as day. As he glanced into the darkness of the cell, it seemed as though Isa had vanished into thin air. Lea stepped toward the door. The faint light in the spring-window the only indication where the door was. A cold, wet hand appeared in the dark, gripping Lea’s throat tightly. The hand smelled of earth and gravel. Lea hit the wall before he saw Isa’s desperate scowl. His eyes were a brilliant amber that could put Xemnas’ to shame. Each breath was labored, heavy, as though he was breathing through a dying tree that had grown in his chest and had its branches crackle each time his chest heaved. His glare was unfocused like he was seeing a hundred things at once and Lea was a bright red that he saw through them all; an anchor to hold onto before reality slipped away through his fingers.

     Lea struggled to move Isa’s hand away when his grip tightened around his throat. For a moment, Lea considered punching Isa to get him away, but their struggle moved Isa into the moonlight again. Lea’s eyes grew wide. Dark bruises had bloomed on Isa’s face. Blood had dried around his nostrils. His lower lip was split, and a dark purple spot on the side of his head was an ominous indication that he had suffered a blow to the head.

     With a forceful grip around Isa’s wrist, Lea managed to free himself with a gasp for air. He held onto Isa, ready for retaliation.

     “ _Mana eret dáppe!_ ” Isa growled, wincing, pushing Lea’s hands away.

     “Isa, it’s me. You remember me, right? Look at me.” Lea finally managed to get a hold of both of Isa’s wrists and kept him in place.

     “ _Luoitte_.”

     Isa pulled back, but Lea stood firm, grabbing Isa by his upper arms. He wasn’t eager to attack anymore. He wanted to retreat, urgently.

     “Isa, look at me,” Lea said again. “I can help you.”

     Lea saw Isa shake his head softly and thought that the worst was over now. He would get to heal Isa while he calmed down enough to talk in a language Lea could understand. When all was said, he’d get to tell Isa of his plan. But it all flew out the window in the blink of an eye. Isa slipped from Lea’s grip enough to move forward. It wasn’t to harm, but Lea had the wind knocked out of him nonetheless when Isa pressed his lips against Lea’s, shivering, wincing. Isa pulled back slightly, frowned, and kissed him again. His hands cupped Lea’s face, one covered in earth, the other wrapped thickly in coarse linen. Isa’s kisses tasted like salt and copper. Lea tried to step back, but Isa was quick to follow until Lea stood flat against the wall. Lea gripped him by his shoulders and pushed him back, inhaling sharply as his focus wavered. He wasn’t as keen on looking Isa in the eye anymore when his knees had weakened. He clenched his jaw, knitted his brow, and didn’t look back at Isa until Isa tried to move away.

     “ _Luoitte_ ,” Isa said again, his voice thick. Single tears ran down his cheeks.

     “I don’t know what that means,” Lea said in a whisper. He leaned forward slightly, painfully aware that under his hand, under the worn sweatshirt Isa was wearing, were scars he had inflicted. Gently, he rubbed his hands against Isa’s shoulders, his heart thumping loud in his chest as he moved one hand across Isa’s cheek, catching one tear against Isa’s lips, absently mumbling a spell for healing.

     Their lips brushed. With every touch, Lea healed Isa’s wounds, using it as an excuse to place chaste kisses at the sides of Isa’s mouth. Sense wasn’t leading him anymore, nor was morality. His instinct should have been to keep Isa away, he duly reminded himself. It was an instinct that had never failed him before, but now he marveled at Isa’s eagerness and desperation, wondering where this vulnerability had been hidden.

     Lea ran his hands up Isa’s arms resting against his chest, but quickly moved his hands away when Isa flinched and let out a small yelp. Lea looked at the hand wrapped in linen with worry. He held it in the dim moonlight. The linen was soiled with earth and blood. Isa’s fingers were different shades of purple, out to his very fingertips. Lea looked at him for an explanation, but a quick glance-over in the nearly empty cell was all Lea needed to know how Isa’s hand had ended up in its sorry state. A brick lay on the floor by the bed, partly obscured by the dark. Isa’s dirt-stained hand came from having dug the brick from the tiled road outside, and though the harm he had caused himself could be severe, Isa didn’t want Lea to linger on it. He pulled his hand away and bumped his forehead against Lea’s.

     “You’ve got a fever, Isa. Let me see your hand. It’ll be quick.”

    A closer look revealed that it was beyond Lea’s healing abilities. Fractured bones was where Lea drew the line. Hands were complex. It took time, skill and, above all sedatives to heal. Lea had none of it.

     “ _Bissut, Lea,_ ” Isa murmured.

     “ _Bissut_?” Lea repeated as he tried to determine Isa’s temperature by pressing his cheek against Isa’s. “That’s ‘stay’, isn’t it?” Lea nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ll stay. Let’s try to get some sleep. Come.”

     Lea led Isa to the small bed. He laid down, his back to the wall to leave room for Isa. The only cover was torn, but it would have to do to help keep them warm during the night. Isa laid down next to Lea, not with his back turned to Lea, like Lea had hoped, but facing him. As Isa tried to find a comfortable spot on the bed, his eyes fell on the pendant around Lea’s neck and he smiled softly, his eyes closing as though he was about to fall asleep.

     “Isa, it’ll be easier to keep warm if you lay facing that way,” Lea said and pointed to the other wall.

     “ _Báitá, báitá, beaivi báitá. Mu Beaivi,_ ” Isa sang quietly, lifting his gaze from the pendant to look at Lea, his eyes still a brilliant amber. With a gentle smile, he said to Lea before he turned around, “ _Buorre idja, mu beaivi._ ”

     Lea put his arms around Isa and held him tightly, wondering if they had lost him for good to a fever that only seemed to get worse during the night as though it burned through what Isa had been to reduce him to nothing but a past that was long gone.

-x-

Winter had been waiting around the corner for a long time, and though there was yet no snow, Lea declared it present when he woke up shivering in the cell that must have shrunk during the night. Lea lifted his head up slightly to make sure that the cell was as small as he had seen it during the split second he had forced his eyes open. Isa’s hair brushed against his face when he lay back down. He held his arms tightly around Isa to keep warm. The sleep weighing on his eyelids disappeared when last night flashed before him. Isa’s broken voice filled his ears, but more than anything, it was the desperate and urging kisses that set his soul ablaze and clouded his mind with bitter confusion that almost had him pull his arms back.

     A thin veil of frost lay over Isa’s hair. Lea hadn’t noticed that it had been damp yesterday, but then he remembered David Basing and him boasting about how they had Isa hosed down every morning, even in this cold weather when he was kept in a cell like this. Lea moved in closer hesitantly. He pressed his forehead against Isa’s neck, feeling the transparent decapitator against his skin, and the feverish warmth that radiated from Isa. His fever hadn’t gone down at all during the night.

     A tray scraped against the floor. Lea glanced at the door and saw what passed for breakfast in this place. A quick trip to Ienzo’s lab would go unnoticed by the guards, he thought. A squad passed by every now and then, but they didn’t take a look inside the cells, and there weren’t any guards standing outside the door either. Lea searched Isa’s pocket for that white card and put it inside the mattress, hoping that they hadn’t put a tracker on the decapitator as well. With a lot of effort, Lea managed to get Isa up on his feet and had Isa rest against him as he teleported them to Ienzo’s lab.

     The snooping around days earlier proved fruitful. Lea found a small room with a stretcher where he lay Isa down gently. Though his bruises were healed, Isa was still in bad shape. He was skinnier, pale as a white sheet. There were patches of melting frost on his worn clothes. The sweater was the same one Isa had picked out that day in the shelter, and his boots - Lea looked down on them, shivering at the cold when his hand brushed against one - they were frozen solid. Lea pried them off gently, moving them about until they came off. A profanity rested on the tip of his tongue as he looked around for a blanket in the small room while trying to warm Isa’s feet with his hands. What was taking Ienzo so long? He clearly had some kind of sensors installed in the lab. He wouldn’t have been able to find Lea in the archives if he hadn’t.

     A few minutes later, Ienzo barged in.

     “You couldn’t have chosen a room further into the lab?” Ienzo mumbled, annoyed. He was by Isa’s bedside before Lea could say anything. He placed his hands on Isa’s face, swearing for everything Lea hadn’t swore when he felt the fever. The light he shone into Isa’s eyes didn’t make him any happier, but nothing made his eyes darker than when he put his stethoscope to Isa’s chest.

     “There’s a cart down the hallway to your right. Bring it here.”

     Lea did as he was told. He ran there and back, pulling a blanket from the nether shelf as soon as he walked back into the room to place it over Isa.

     “What’s going on?” Lea asked when Ienzo said nothing.

     “Pneumonia. His heart rate is off, delayed reaction to light, high fever… full discoloration of the corneas. Was he unconscious when you found him?” Ienzo swabbed the inside of Isa’s mouth and put the swab in a long plastic tube.

     “No, he wasn’t.” Lea rubbed his neck and walked up to the other bedside. “His left hand is messed up. I thought I could heal it, but that is far beyond what I can do.”

     Ienzo stared at it, trying to keep calm, but the panic in his eyes betrayed him.

     “Was this done to him?” he asked as he inspected the hand carefully.

     “No. I think he did that himself. He dug out a brick,” Lea cleared his throat. “From, um, from outside his cell window. It was there in the cell when I got there.”

     “Panic attacks,” Ienzo said as if he could relate to the impulse. “Good thing they’re the good guys,” he mumbled angrily. “Where the hell is Aeleus? And you said he wasn’t unconscious?”

     “He attacked me when I got there. He was lurking, in the dark, and just… jumped out and attacked me. I got him under control, but yeah… he wasn’t unconscious. And he had bruises, on his face.” Lea paused to take a deep breath when he realized that he had been holding it in. “The guard, that I met with, he said that there had been a fight, with Isa and others involved and that they had put him in solitary to keep the others safe, because they think Isa has some kind of mind control abilities.” Lea’s heart was beating fast.

     Ienzo looked at him as if he knew something. Lea wasn’t fourteen anymore, and yet, he felt like it; the anguish, confusion, crippling guilt, he tasted it all on his lips. Though he didn’t need to, Lea still found a way to confess. He was a pot of boiling water and he was about to screech.

     “Pneumonia,” Lea began. “Is it contagious?”

     “Depends if it's bacterial or viral. I’ll have Aeleus look it up as soon as he gets here. But I wouldn’t worry if I were you, at this stage it's rarely contagious, especially since you’re healthy and have a strong immune system.”

     So far, so good.

     “I’m wondering because Isa sneezed, yesterday.”

     Ienzo looked up from Isa’s battered hand and squinted at Lea incredulously.

     “He what?”

     “Sneezed.”

     “Was there blood?”

     Lea paled.

     “No.”

     “No?” Ienzo placed Isa’s hand back down with utter care, but the look Lea got was anything but caring, and somehow, it eased the guilt knowing that he would get a reaction that mirrored his idea of how he, too, should be feeling. But Ienzo’s next question was not at all what Lea had expected.

     “Was Isa unconscious or not? Was he present?”

     Lea nodded slowly, uncertain whether Ienzo had seen through his lie or not. He wanted to believe that Ienzo knew, and that, as Isa’s currently closest friend, he would do everything to keep Lea away.

     “Open up,” Ienzo said with a sigh and swabbed inside Lea’s mouth too. “I wouldn’t worry. I’ve seen your charts. You’re as healthy as you’ll ever be.”

    Aeleus knocked on the door before he walked in, his breath caught in his throat. He barely acknowledged Lea, he was there for Ienzo and he fumbled with the message he came with as soon as he saw Ienzo by the bedside.

     “They’re having an emergency meeting. The Restoration Committee is up there right now.”

     “About?” Ienzo asked.

     “Three people from Sector One have been declared dead within the past twenty-four hours. They were neighbors and were trying to get to the hospital when they collapsed in the city. Four different doctors have concluded that it may very well be cholera. I got a report from the head nurse. We have fourteen people that came into the hospital today with symptoms of cholera. She’s afraid that number will grow exponentially within coming forty-eight hours. Sector One is above Two and Three and below the others. It’s gonna spread like wildfire.”

     “When it rains, it rains bullets,” Ienzo mumbled, largely unmoved by the news that had Aeleus break into a sweat.

     “What’s cholera?” Lea asked while watching Aeleus pull another cart into the room with transparent bags filled with liquid and syringes on the side.

     “Are you familiar with the Holy Scriptures’ Armageddon?” Ienzo asked as he reached for a syringe and looked at its label before trying to find a good vein in Isa’s arm.

     Lea scoffed. The Holy Scriptures had been everything. They had been part of everyday life. He still remembered countless hours in Sunday school and study groups.

     “Yeah.”

     “Cholera is a Horseman. It reaps in thousands, poisons the water and weakens those who are left, both in body and soul. In other words, this is prime time for us to exercise some pressure on our beloved government.”

     “But you’re going on strike now?”

     “They will never need me as much as they do now. Feel free to share your plan with us, Lea. This is as a good a time as any.” Ienzo placed five silver colored splints on the bedside and reached for a large one for the palm of Isa’s hand.

     Aeleus stared back at Lea to show that he was paying attention while Ienzo tended to Isa with such calm that his earlier explanation of what cholera was struck Lea as unreal. Surely, a Horseman amongst them was cause to alarm anyone, even Ienzo, but the triumphant gleam in his eyes was not that of a man with exhaustive work ahead and a death toll of a thousands, but that of a man who had struck gold.

     “Isa’s grandfather owned a house and land outside of the city. They were Solars, old tribe folks that lived around the city walls and made a living off their traditions, reindeer and land. Given current laws, that land belongs to Isa now. He was taught how to farm that land, how to make use of nature - they had this - what was it - bark? They’d shave off the first layers of some tree trunks and harvest the lighter bark. Isa’s grandfather sold it like butter and people used it as a source of vitamin and medicines and whatnot. Anyway, my point, my plan is that Isa’s knowledge and skills are important for the future of Radiant Garden. He can teach people to farm. I don’t know what the situation with the land around the city is, but I’m sure that if we could increase the domestic production of farm goods, we can lower the prices on basic items, get rid of rations. We can put people to work and have enough food to go around without having to wait for the shipments from King Mickey. I mean, there are still some kinks to work out, but considering our situation, I think it’s worth a shot, no?”

     “You thought of that yourself?” Aeleus asked, his words intended as mockery, but the look of surprise showed what he truly felt about the idea.

     “How about we take that to the Restoration Committee?” asked Ienzo. “I will work against cholera on the condition they approve your idea with a clause of time for recuperation for Isa.”

     “You mean go there now?” Lea thought he would have to make a proper presentation with a five-year-plan and planned speeches, but the time was now. “Alright. Yeah. I don’t care for formal presentations anyway.”

     “Aeleus, please, IV, cultures, treatment, regular temperature check-ups and monitor his heart rate. Remove the decapitator, too. Isa will have no need for it when we’re done with the Restoration Committee. Make use of as many assistants as you need.” Ienzo walked up to Aeleus and placed his hand on his arm. “If you decide to back out of the strike, you’re well within your rights, and I won’t hold it against you. Think about it.”

     Aeleus gave one decisive nod, and stopped Ienzo at the door with one question, “Cultures? For how many should I do?”

     “Two. One for Isa and one for Lea.” Ienzo glanced back at Lea with a slight roll of his eyes. “Isa _sneezed_ on him.”

-x-

The irony didn’t escape Lea. The sound of each step that echoed in the large, impressive hallways to one of the castle’s most important meeting rooms, reminded Lea of his past. This was the life his father had wanted for him. To walk these hallways as if they were his, to think of ways to improve their city, to make God proud by living a righteous life, and what was more righteous today than to serve as a Keyblade-wielder, protector of light and good?

     Ienzo didn’t bother to knock. He walked into the room, pushing the door open in a controlled manner and held it up for Lea. They were met by an intense, panicked discussion between the members of the Restoration Committee. The silence upon seeing Ienzo and Lea was immediate.

     “Ienzo, we’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Leon said as he stood up to gesture toward an empty chair, but Ienzo simply raised his hand and shook his head ‘no.’

     “Thank you for escorting Ienzo to us, Lea. Did you hear the awful news?” Aerith rubbed her hands and smiled gratefully at Lea, but worry was written all over her face.

     “We need to come up with a strategy right this minute to fight this thing before our body count goes up," said Cid. "People are worried sick out there and we’ve gotten reports that this may be cholera. What’s your take on it, Ienzo?” Cid crossed his arms, a poor toothpick caught between his teeth.

     “I’m not here to help,” Ienzo said, coldly. Cloud clenched the one fist he had on the table while the others stared at Ienzo as though they hadn’t heard what he had said. “I’m sorry to say that I am here to take advantage of the situation at hand in hopes to further my own interests, as well as yours, mind, but my interests first and foremost.”

     “What the hell are you saying?” Tifa rose to her feet. Lea took one small step back even though Tifa was almost on the other side of the grand room, but Ienzo stood firm and walked up to the space between the two long oak tables. Lea followed him.

     “I warned Superintendent Leon and Assistant Superintendent Cloud long before this happened about the risks of cholera in the water provided in the slums. I was not listened to. I suspect both were too busy seeking revenge. I’ve thought the witch hunt for former Organization-members to be a waste of time and resources considering the nature of the Organization and the man behind it, but enough on that. I am here to announce my conditions to continue my work as a medical doctor, which, as some of you may suspect, are directly linked to Isa’s imprisonment. Lea, if you please, introduce your plan.”

     “Lea, you’re a part of this?” Aerith’s voice stung in his chest at the disappointment in it. It was worse than the daggers the others were staring at him. Lea cleared his throat and approached a large chalkboard that he pulled forward even though he wasn’t sure he was going to need it, but at least it helped him stall and get his nerves under control while reminding himself again that he wasn’t fourteen anymore. Once he felt in control, he spoke.

     “Cholera has been described to me as a Horseman. I’ve never witnessed the disease, but obviously, it’s a serious one, and I’ll try to make this brief and I hope you’ll hear me out.”

     “How about we report your sorry ass to Yen Sid?” Cid barked, the toothpick broken in half on the table. “What is this, huh? The final blow? Is this how you’re gonna end Radiant Garden?!”

     “I’ll make it even shorter still then,” Ienzo cut in. “You listen to Lea, accept his plan and release Isa from prison, or you will have to kill off the Horseman yourselves because I, Dr. Even, Aeleus and Dilan will cease to work for you and this city.”

     There was no interruption after Ienzo's threat.


	18. Striking Deals

* * *

No one in the Restoration Committee had gone out of the meeting with Ienzo and Lea a happy person. Ienzo’s demands had been a great setback for them, for the progress of Radiant Garden and the semblance of tranquility that had come back to the city after Isa’s arrest. The prognosis for the spread and severity of cholera must have been a dark one for them to have agreed to Isa’s release. The deep frown on Cid’s face had highlighted every wrinkle on his forehead as he signed the legal document Dr. Even had presented them with. They had spent hours reading through it in hopes that no insidious loophole would slip by and make matters worse. Lea had done his best to keep up with the reading of the document and the changes and addendums, but all he could take away from it with certainty was that his idea was to be implemented as a form of rehabilitation program.

     Ienzo had come prepared, so much so that even Dr. Even managed to make it to a meeting that was supposedly unplanned for the Restoration Committee and everyone else. Lea wasn’t alone to suspect that it all had been planned, that maybe they were behind the spread of the cholera. The innocent look in Ienzo’s eyes could deter anyone from such suspicions, but Lea’s history with Ienzo made those suspicions hard to kill. It frightened him to think that he might be fighting on the wrong side again. He could only find comfort in thinking that this was for Isa, for his recovery and well-being. Everything else had to come second. If not, he would cave and try to convince the Restoration Committee to find another way to deal with the situation at hand.

     “Ladies and gentlemen,” Ienzo began triumphantly as Dr. Even gathered the document signed by all delegates of the Restoration Committee. “I’m glad we could agree and talk out our differences. With this done, you can all rest assured that this Horseman will be combated with everything the best and brightest of Radiant Garden has to offer. If anyone needs me, you are all most welcome to the East Wing. Wear a hazard suit.” He bowed slightly before he turned on his heel and gracefully and calmly walked out of the room, hands clasped behind his back. Dr. Even walked after him, teacher and apprentice with the world in their hands. With allies sat there in defeat, Lea had no choice but to follow Dr. Even and Ienzo, and hope once more that he was doing the right thing.

     As Lea waited for Ienzo to type up instructions for Isa’s care, Dr. Even sat down next to him.

     “Aeleus has already gone forth with the preparations. The aftercare should be easy. I must say that I’m not happy that Isa will be left in your care. You’ve done more damage than I predicted you would within a remarkable time frame.”

     “I’m sure I haven’t beaten your high score yet,” Lea said, grimly.

     “Your mission is to take care of him and him alone,” Dr. Even continued, undeterred. “You will have to take a copy of this document to Yen Sid and have him know that you are legally bound to this mission until a week after Isa has been taken to his home. Up until that time, you are not to perform any duties concerning your organization of Keyblade-wielders.”

     “Or what?” Lea asked out of reflex.

     “Or you’ll be banned from Radiant Garden,” Dr. Even said with a shrug and handed Lea a file, but didn’t let go when Lea tugged at it. “Make this work. Be of assistance, not another force to work against. This project, Isa’s recuperation, is everything to Ienzo. Don’t get in the way of it. Understood?”

     Lea almost said something smart in retort. Almost questioned in order to infuriate, but the glare Dr. Even shot him was as harsh as it was honest. He was doing all of this for Ienzo. Ienzo was Dr. Even’s legacy, the son he never had.  Lea never thought the relationship meant anything to Dr. Even, that Dr. Even had been ordered to care for Ienzo. He never bothered to look into it when they all were in the Organization. It had been Isa’s job to analyze the established relationships amongst their comrades, and though Lea had done some analyzing himself, the relationship between Dr. Even and Ienzo had never struck him as interesting.

     “Any advice on how to best deal with Isa?” Lea asked instead.

     Dr. Even let go of the file, confident that Lea had gotten the message.

     “Patience and calm. Isa was forged in violence. It makes him defensive.”

     “Forged?” Lea repeated, eyebrows raised. Isa had certainly been knocked around a few times, but in times like theirs, who hadn’t been? Lea remembered that Isa’s grandfather used to punish Isa by slapping him over the knuckles with a stick that left ugly bruises. Lea had hated it and thought of it as heinous, but life experience had dulled the edges of the memory for they had known so much worse than slightly bruised knuckles.

     “Violence does not have to be solely physical. The violence that Isa has endured, physical and psychological, has definitely done extensive damage. He’s very careful when he talks, his greatest defense being silence. You have to be patient when he uses it, and calm when he gets upset.” Dr. Even glanced at Lea from the corner of his eye. “Calm means ‘not sarcastic.’ Sarcasm is anger’s ugly cousin.”

     “Noted,” Lea sighed. “Is he on something? Tranquilizers?”

     “No. Ienzo has prescribed him with ‘emergency pills’ for panic attacks, but those are to be taken for emergencies _only_. Other than that, we’ve been trying to find coping mechanisms. The teddy bear has had the best results thus far.”

     “Has it now?” Lea smiled as he played with the corner of the file. The macabre teddy bear he had seen Isa and Ienzo fill with coffee beans had made no sense to Lea at the time. But now, knowing that the scent of coffee beans had a soothing effect on Isa, after all these years, made him happy.

     “Don’t toy with him,” Dr. Even quickly cut in at seeing Lea smiling and glared at him warningly. “He doesn’t have the mental stability to deal with games.”

     "Have you made contact with Xigbar yet?" Lea asked, finding his hands quite interesting all of a sudden.

     "No," Dr. Even said. "I don't think we will either."

     "Why not? He wanted to be found. He wanted your help."

     "Xigbar is a ghost. To explain it in simple terms, he sold his soul to the Devil. The Devil died, but Hell still claimed what it was promised. He will not be slipping out of Dark Portals. If he does, he will only be dragged back again."

     “And that’s not interesting to you?”

     “Theology has only led me astray. And Xigbar isn’t worth the effort.”

     Ienzo walked out of his office, instructions in hand. Their meeting was brief, solemn. Lea was told that a nurse would come by regularly to check up on Isa. Aeleus would be responsible for most of Isa’s care until he deemed it fit for Isa to leave. At that time, all of the responsibility would fall on Lea. Should Isa take a turn for the worse, Dr. Even would step in, but given the quick spread of the cholera, chances were that Dr. Even would have to leave his position as a psychologist to help those affected by illness alongside Ienzo and Aeleus.

     As Lea walked down the long hallway back to the room where he had left Isa, he thought of the one phrase from his religious teachings that had been a constant in his life without fail; God works in mysterious ways.

-x-

The trip to Mysterious Tower had taken almost a whole day. Yen Sid couldn’t believe the document he had been handed, and he didn’t want to believe that Lea had so easily agreed to it without consulting him or any other Keyblade-wielder first. Yen Sid had wanted to bring Roxas in, but Lea had asked him not to. He wanted to tell Roxas personally. He would have gone to Roxas first had the file of legal documents not been as important as they were. Instead, Yen Sid called for Aqua in secrecy. She just happened to pass by before Lea could leave, and knowing from experience, Aqua had not checked him out for fun. Yen Sid wanted to know if Lea had fallen under the spell of darkness again. Isa was seen as a bad influence; Lea had not expected anything less from Yen Sid. Lea had done the same to Isa.

     The extensive questioning, the time it took to explain the events that had transpired and led up to this, was nothing. The real test came when he came back to Radiant Garden, when he stood by the door to the Keyblade-wielders’ cottage where the mayhem of disease had not yet reached.

     Roxas was on his way out when Lea walked in. All of the lights were off on the first floor except the one weak light in the foyer. Roxas sighed when he saw Lea and couldn’t help himself from shaking his head slightly as though he had been caught in the midst of an internal conversation with Lea about the things he was doing.

     “Cid told me already,” Roxas said before Lea could open his mouth. “I’ve been called back to the Land of Departure. I’ve never been sick, so they’re worried what something like cholera would do to me, should I get infected. That’s one of the reasons I’m leaving.”

     “I’m not gonna be held here for long,” Lea began as soon as he could bring himself to lift his gaze off the floor to face Roxas. “It’s just ‘til he gets better.”

     “Did you read the contract at all, Lea? Did you ask how it was possible that they managed to put a contract like that together on such short notice, or did you not want to inconvenience anyone by asking for the truth?” Roxas scowled and paused. “It feels like we don’t talk anymore. You know? We just have the same conversation over and over again when you’ve already made up your mind about what you wanna do. All I can say is that I hope, for your sake, that you’re right in trusting them again. I can’t. I don’t have it in me. I thought for a while that maybe I could overlook what Saïx did to us, for you. But…” Roxas shook his head and huffed incredulously.

     “It – it’s not… Isa will be placed at a farm. He knows farming and the plan is that he’ll teach others to farm, to help the city prosper. He can rehabilitate and make amends. Roxas, I know it seems fishy now, but I think this could be good, and –” Lea’s chest clenched painfully. His mouth was dry and it was hard to say why he was trying to convince Roxas of the good in his plan. Roxas was leaving. Lea didn’t know when he would be free from the contract. He didn’t want them to part on bad terms. Roxas was, after all, the most important person in his life. Lea rambled, tripped over the words coming out of his mouth, cursing his incoherency.

     “Lea, I don’t care!” Roxas burst out finally. “I don’t care if Saïx or Isa or whatever gets better! I want him to pay for what he did! I don’t think that’s asking too much, do you? I mean – he, they just let Xion die. They wanted to use me for their sick plans and kill me if I didn’t comply. They damn near killed you. _Saïx_ damn near killed you in more ways than one. Lea, how many times do I have to repeat this? How can you forget or even think you want to forget what he did?” Roxas looked Lea in the eye, desperately trying to appeal to him. “I hate him. I hate Saïx. And Saïx is all he’ll ever be.”

     The big difference between the time with the Organization and now was that Lea allowed himself to show a greater spectrum of emotions with Roxas. When Roxas’ voice cracked and his eyes clouded with a veil of tears, Lea didn’t have to stand back and pretend that he wasn’t affected enough to not want to do something about it. He pulled Roxas into a tight embrace.

     The ingenious plan wasn’t as well thought through as he had hoped. The immediate guilt and panic at not knowing what would happen with Isa in prison, with Ienzo’s ominous warnings that prison would without a doubt end Isa, Lea had only been able to focus on that; getting Isa out. He forgot that he wasn’t the only one with created interests. The reality of what he had agreed to had begun to sink in. Lea was just a clause in the contract, a term amongst many. His one-track-mindedness had made him blind to the unrest that would follow should it be known that Isa had been released. And yet, that wasn’t his biggest regret at this moment; his biggest regret was not having considered Roxas. He should have told him what he was planning to allow Roxas a voice and not run him over.

     “Roxas, I would never choose him over you. Never. And I haven’t given up on Xion. I’ll keep looking for ways to save her. This is just for the time being. Trust me, okay? Please, trust me.”

     Roxas ran his arms around Lea’s neck to complete the hug and nodded into the nape of Lea’s neck. A lump of tears in his throat made it difficult to breathe. Again, Lea’s heart beat hard in his chest, as it always did when he stood near his guiding light. Had he been another man, he would have asked Roxas for what he wanted their relationship to be, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice those feelings. Instead, Lea settled with the warm embrace.

    Although the air was clean between them, Lea couldn’t help the lingering melancholy of having to watch Roxas leave and not know with certainty when they were going to see each other again. It was a phobia, one that ripped up old wounds, memories of a state of mind that Lea could barely identify with now.

     Lea decided to not return to the lab for now. Isa had nurses caring for him today, and Aeleus. There would be nothing for Lea to do but to sit in the corner and worry. There were other things that needed to be tended to in preparation for Isa’s release. First order of business was to find the house and hope that there really was one. Xigbar was known for his cruel jokes. It wouldn’t surprise Lea if showing Isa his old home had been one of them.

     Lea walked alongside the wall around the outskirts of the city. He had lived in a fairly central part of the city growing up. He remembered taking the coach to the Golden Gates to pick Isa up every weekend. Generally, it was an hour trip there. The Golden Gates from back then didn’t exist today. The bridge had come down and not been rebuilt. The one bridge that led out of the city and into the forest was on the wrong side of the city to lead anywhere near Isa’s old house. Lea searched until he saw small ruins on the other side of the wide gap between the city and the neighboring island. The drop was huge. Waves crashed up the cliffs, giving Lea an indication of where the rest of the bridge had gone. There had been five bridges before Radiant Garden’s first fall and there was only one way to know for sure whether this was the right bridge or not. Should he get lost in the forest, he could always teleport back.

    Lea stood there, thinking and pondering when he heard the eerie wobble of a dark portal. It had appeared right beside him and didn’t disappear when Lea summoned his Keyblade to fight whatever might come out of it. After a minute or two of suspense, Lea lowered his Keyblade and inspected the dark portal right before it vanished into thin air.

     “What the hell,” Lea mumbled and looked around. Cid’s security system hadn’t reacted to it, and with it gone, Lea could only go back to ponder how he’d go about finding Isa’s house in the maze of forest on the islands surrounding Radiant Garden.

     When Lea looked over at the ruins again, he gaped. The dark portal appeared on the other side only to disappear and reappear again.

     Lea took a deep breath and teleported to the island, right where the ruins of the bridge were, and by the time he got there, the dark portal was gone once more. Perhaps it was a sign. After a moment, Lea managed to convince himself that beyond the grove, he’d find the red house.

     A small faint path went through the thick and dense forest. The grass reached up to Lea’s waist in certain parts. He shuddered when he heard snakes crawl away from him, making the grass move. He was a city boy, it took time for him to warm up to nature and its inhabitants. Few moments later, Lea bumped against a well hidden behind the tall grass. A brick came loose in the bump and fell a long way before Lea heard the splash. Behind it stood the familiar red house Lea remembered from his childhood. It looked timeless where it stood, steadfast through the massive changes Radiant Garden had been through.

     This is where Isa had been when guards had filled the streets in search for him. He had cleaned it out from dust and debris, making it look as though a simple spring cleaning was taking place and they had yet to move the furniture back in. Lea half-expected to see Nilas stand behind the counter, mumbling to himself in preparation for the soldiers that came by for lunch.

     Isa’s bedroom was a time machine. As soon as Lea stepped inside he was back to when they were kids; Lea begging and pleading to get to stay over and Isa reluctantly letting him on the sole condition Lea refrained from telling ghost stories. Lea would try as hard as he could, but past midnight he had to tell at least one in the hopes that he’d frighten Isa enough that Isa would come down and lay with him or ask him to sleep in his bed. Being close to Isa had had a calming effect on him. He slept best when Isa was right next to him. Sharing a bed hadn't been a problem for Lea until they grew older.

     The desk had three neat piles of notebooks and files, free from dust and spider webs. Lea flipped through a couple of them, chuckling at the doodles of Isa’s observations and the memory of Isa’s obsession with aliens and an alien invasion. He had been right in a way, but neither of them could have ever imagined how deep that rabbit hole had gone. Lea sighed and reached for another notebook. Most doodles were of the forest and falling stars, others of deer with a short description of name and special features that would help Isa tell them apart. There were also doodles Lea had never seen before. They were of him, playing with Isa’s dog, lifting bales of hay, standing in the coffee shop and flexing his muscles with a ridiculous expression. There were many dates scribbled under each doodle, stretching over several years. Lea had to search through at least another five notebooks before he found sketches of himself again. They were more recent, of Lea in his house, with his parents, and there even was one of his sister.

     Lea laughed. His dad had a pompous expression, excellent posture and a look in his eye that had made Lea feel small on so many occasions. It wasn’t all positive memories, but it was his dad, and that was the way he had looked. His mother was smiling, a dreamy look on her face as though she had been struck with a great idea for another event. Eve. Lea’s throat tightened as he paused to look at the sketch of his younger sister. It was a sketch of her scolding Isa. She was holding one of her special sketching pens in her hand and pointing at a sheet of paper in front of her. Isa must have asked for tutoring lessons in drawing at some point. Eve took art seriously, and Lea imagined she must have been a strict teacher. There was another sketch of her smiling, laughing even. He could hear it. It had been an infectious laugh. They could’ve been fighting, but the second she started to laugh, Lea was soon to follow until they forgot what they had been fighting about.

     Isa had promised him once that should Lea ever run the risk of being forgotten, he’d do a painting of him, just like the ones Lea had had hanging on the walls of his house, and hang it up for everyone to see. There were various first drafts of such a painting in this notebook, some were silly, some solemn, most were downright ridiculous. Isa had even sketched provisory plaques for the would-be paintings. _Lea The Jokester: I tried but lies can’t kill the truth_ said one plaque under a particularly silly drawing of Lea trying to crank up his charms to eleven only to look like a cheesy dork with a tragicomic future as a door-to-door salesman. Lea’s favorite was one of him with overly dramatic puppy-dog eyes and a plaque that said _Too Cute to be King_. The one on the last page was surprisingly normal; Lea with a small smile on his lips, looking straight at whomever might be looking at the painting and with it a plaque that said _Mon ráhkistan du_. The words sounded vaguely familiar to him, but meant nothing.

     As he was about to put the notebook back, his chest already aching with old memories, a page slipped out and fell by his feet. On it was one single sentence. Lea mistook it for another idea for a plaque and didn’t think of reading it until he accidentally did.

_Will I go to Hell for loving Lea as I should a woman?_

     Lea put the page back into the notebook. His hands trembled; his thoughts raced. The exact moment Isa started to pull away from him made itself reminded. Frame by frame it played out in Lea’s mind and at that moment, Lea wished Isa’s room was a time machine so that he could go back and save Isa from the temperamental brat that wouldn’t choose Isa over anyone else either.

-x-

Isa spent a week in a chemically induced coma with tubes down his throat and into his veins to help combat the pneumonia. Aeleus made the decision, and Lea hadn’t argued against it. The literature Aeleus had left him with was plenty for Lea to understand that pneumonia wasn’t at all pleasant in the most common of situations. Adding to Isa’s other problems made a mountain, one he shouldn’t have to deal with now.

     The week didn’t go to waste. Isa was in good hands and Aeleus seemed to want to get rid of Lea while Isa was at his weakest, and again, Lea didn’t argue against it. Dr. Even had asked him to be of assistance, not another force against them and that’s what Lea was going to be. Isa would need a house ready to live in when he got better. That meant tools, furniture, food. According to the contract, Isa was going to get a week of free time before he got his first live-in workers. Those workers had already been decided by Ienzo and they would all need a place to sleep. For days, Lea travelled back and forth between different worlds with goods he thought would be of good use. He would’ve tried to buy things from the stores in Radiant Garden, but with a Horseman on the loose, Lea couldn’t risk it.

     Once he had filled the walk-in pantry and replaced the jars on the shelves in the diner and filled them with different kinds of dried berries, Lea did his best to work with the interior. Isa would want it a certain way, so Lea focused on getting beds into the annex behind the house where the workers would live. The couch in the Keyblade-wielders’ estate wasn’t doing much use there. It seemed only right to steal it and put it in the living room of Isa’s house. The bed covers needed changing and the bed frame needed coating. It was a lot of work, but by the end of the week Lea was working on some last finishing touches when Aeleus rang the alarm of a small magical device Ienzo called a ‘pager.’ Isa had been taken out of the chemically induced coma; his fever was gone. He could breathe without the assistance of a machine. The rest of the work was up to Lea for Aeleus was needed in the East Wing.

     Lea dropped what he was doing and teleported to the lab. He hurried down the last bit of hallway and walked into Isa’s room. Isa was sat up-right, leaning back against a fluffy pillow, covers up to his waist. He had been given a dark-blue, long-sleeved pajama to wear underneath the hospital gown. His cheeks had more color than before.

     “Hi,” Lea said softly as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and moved a chair closer to Isa’s bedside while Isa eyed him curiously. Lea had to look at his hands to realize that he had teleported here without stopping to think that he might need a shower and a change of clothes first. His hands were black with soil, his clothes were stained and he was still sweaty. The garden had been one of the last finishing touches. It had been hard to trim grass that had been allowed to grow wild for well over ten years, and Lea wanted to prepare patches of soil for flowers before the first snow fell.

     “What happened to you?” Isa asked finally, his voice raspy still.

     “The elevator wasn’t working so I had to dig my way down here,” Lea joked but only got a blank stare in return. “How are you feeling?”

     “Tired.”

     “You were out for a little over a week.”

     “Where’s Ienzo?” Isa looked around the room quickly to see if the room had windows out to the rest of the lab, but laid back down against his pillow again when he saw there was none.

     “He’s combating a Horseman,” Lea said and smiled, but Isa didn’t seem to understand the reference. Lea cleared his throat and sat up straight. “Actually, there’s an outbreak of some disease called cholera, and it’s pretty bad and spreads quickly, so Ienzo’s at the hospital, curing the ill. Aeleus is just gonna leave us with some pointers as to how to keep you well and then he’ll be off, too.”

     “Cholera, huh?” Isa’s chuckle turned into a slight cough. “So he was right after all.”

     “Isa, do you know where you are? Do you remember what happened?” Lea hoped for a small sign that Isa remembered what he had done back in that cell, but Isa seemed much more preoccupied with fighting sleep than remembering fever-induced confessions.

     “Am I going back to prison?”

     “No. You’re not. Isa, we got you out.”

     “What does that mean?”

     “You’ll still technically be under surveillance, but you won’t be confined to prison or the correctional facility. I’ll be your chaperone. Leon will come by occasionally for an update, and your release does come with a few but important conditions. Are you listening?”

     “Mm. I’m just resting my eyes for a bit.”

     “You can go back to your house in the woods,” Lea said and paused to observe Isa’s reaction.

     “What?” Isa forced his eyes open and looked back at Lea.

     “It’ll be part of a program. The condition is that you teach people to farm. What goes where, routine, maintenance. You’ll start with four workers that Ienzo has chosen.”

     Isa seemed to want to protest until he heard that Ienzo had chosen the workers, but then he frowned.

     “It’s my house. My land.”

     “Yeah, it is. Dr. Even made sure of that. The Restoration Committee only agreed to this on the condition that you’ll work for Radiant Garden, like Ienzo and the others are doing. And it’ll be a great way to rehabilitate, remember your past and get rid of what’s left of Xehanort.”

     “When can I go?”

     “When you get better.”

     “I’m better,” Isa mumbled and closed his eyes again. He dropped his head to the side and pulled his covers up his chest, sleep too heavy to fight against anymore. Lea swallowed hard at the innocent and heart-stabbing sight. The note he had read days before haunted him still. It had opened a chest of guilt Lea thought he had buried under water and earth long ago when anger became the principal feeling he held toward Isa and Saïx. The door to his darkness lay in that chest and Isa had suffered at the hands of it more than anyone. Though Lea always knew that there was more to his need for reconciliation other than feeling indebted for the small favors he had mentioned to Roxas, he had been so good at lying to himself that he had forgotten the cowardice and insidiousness in him that had undoubtly shoved Isa down the long, thorny path to the depths of darkness.

     The reminder made him sick.

    


	19. The Chest of Guilt

* * *

Augustus and Isa had gone. Lea stood alone in the dark classroom, replaying the kiss and his reaction in his head over and over again. Once the initial shock had loosened its grip on Lea, he hurried to the cab station, knuckles aching still. A line of coaches stood waiting for clients two blocks away from school. Lea had gotten into the first one he came across. His heart was beating loud in his ears as they raced through town back home. Isa could have told on him, turned his parents against him in revenge for rejecting his advances. The catastrophic scenarios came in multitudes. He hadn’t done anything wrong, Lea knew that in his heart, but still he sat the whole way back home trying to convince himself that his actions had been right, that he was free of guilt because he hadn’t initiated anything. He was, by all accounts, still an honest, law-abiding young man who had nothing to be ashamed of. He just needed to strengthen himself. The Devil had caught him off guard. Once he found ground again, everything would go back to normal.

     A servant told him that everyone was seated for dinner. Lea ran into the dining room just in time for the starters.

     “Honey, come and eat,” Mrs. Ferris said as soon as she saw her son stand by the doorway.

     “Good evening,” Lea said to everyone at the table; his father, his mother and his sister.

     “Where have you been?” Mr. Ferris asked casually.

     “I was with Madeleine,” Lea was quick to lie.

     “So you didn’t hear what happened to Isa then,” Mrs. Ferris said. “Poor boy, he was attacked on his way back home.”  
     “That’s what happens when we let savages roam freely in our city,” Mr. Ferris cut in decisively. “Once we’re through with them, things like robberies and random attacks on the streets will be a thing of the past. Isa is a great test subject for this. With this assault we have proven that even he can be mistaken for a proper citizen.”

     “Isa looked like he had eaten blueberry jam,” Eve interjected before taking a spoonful of soup.

     “Where is he?” Lea asked and exhaled in relief. He was safe.

     “Eat your dinner first, honey. Isa is in his room resting. I had some soup taken to his room and some ice. The child looked like a puppy that had tried to eat a bee.”

     Eve giggled at the comparison.

     “He’s not a child. He’s fifteen and it’s about time he faced some hardships. It’ll make a proper man out of him. God forbid he turns into anything less,” Mr. Ferris said to his wife.

     “Can we get a puppy, mom?” Eve dropped her spoon and clapped her hands together in a plea.

     “You’re allergic, sweetheart,” Mrs. Ferris reminded her.

     Lea calmly finished his dinner and even found it in him to converse with his family without once getting into an argument with his sister or being sarcastic. Guilt made him good mannered. At this rate, his father would figure out on his own that Lea was hiding something. Once his parents decided to go and sit by the fireplace, Lea excused himself and bid everyone a good night before nearly sprinting down the hallway and upstairs to his room. Isa’s bedroom door stood ajar.

     Lea cleared his throat softly and walked down the hallway slowly, digging his heels into the floor for his steps to be heard as he made believe that he just wanted to get to his own bedroom. Isa took the bait. Lea had just about passed Isa’s bedroom when he heard the slight creak of the guestroom door, but he didn’t turn around until Isa called for him.

     “Lea…?”

     Lea steeled himself, reminded himself of his religious conviction and everything else that was important to ward himself against the Devil’s temptations. It proved to be a challenge when he saw Isa. A large bruise had bloomed at the left side of Isa’s mouth and his upper lip had swollen on the right side. His nose was still slightly crimson and his eyes, red and puffy, darted to the floor in shame when Lea looked at him.

     “What?” Lea nearly kicked himself for sounding callous, but the importance of discipline and good moral came before empathy. There was no other way to help others thrive, he told himself.

     “About what happened… earlier. I - it wasn’t my intention to, um, you know, to… do what I did. I don’t know what got into to me. Just… I’m sorry. I was out of line and you were right to be disgusted by it. Who would do something like it, right?” Isa chuckled nervously, still too ashamed to face Lea properly. “It won’t happen again. I promise. And I’m really, really sorry.”

     “Apology accepted. You should join us for evening mass on Friday before you go back home.” Lea had been taught well. Seize every opportunity to reach your goal, that was what his father told him, and that was exactly what he had done. His father would be thrilled if they managed to get Isa to church willingly, and with Isa’s eager nod for ‘yes’ Lea knew that he’d be in his father’s good graces for a long time ahead. They said good night and Lea went to his bedroom certain that this was something they would be able to put behind themselves, but Lea’s certainty was shaken nearly every night that followed. Isa’s deed had poisoned his mind. It was the only explanation Lea could come up with when he couldn’t close his eyes for sleep without seeing Isa, feel him close, his warmth and need. Lea was led into a world of sin.

     Isa was practiced in Lea’s vivid dreams, in ways only the Devil could be. He found Lea’s weaknesses without even searching and took advantage of them until Lea’s body felt so heavy that he couldn’t move if he tried. Sometimes Lea managed to wake out of those dreams, but was still half-asleep when he reached for the unbearable ache between his legs, the memory of the warmth and wetness of Isa’s mouth fresh in his mind. With quick, jerking strokes, Lea relieved himself to the blur of images he saw behind closed eyes.

     It only took a couple of those dreams for the shame he felt to turn into something akin to hatred for the one who was doing this to him. Lea thought himself normal, but Isa had changed him against his will. The changes had been small at first, so small that they could only be pointed out now in hindsight. Gradually, the changes became palpable to the point where Lea couldn’t recognize himself anymore. He had been one with plans. He was going to get married, have children and take over after his father. How was he supposed to do any of those things with these devious thoughts in his head?

     At school, Lea did his best to avoid Isa. It didn’t take long for Isa to understand that Lea didn’t want him around. After three ignored greetings, Isa pretended to stop noticing Lea in the hallway, too. The less they saw each other, the better. Lea got reacquainted with Madeleine and other old friends whom he hadn’t spent as much time with as before Isa moved into the city. Their company eased Lea’s mind. He could breathe easy in finding that he was still as he used to be.

     The juniors had been told to gather at the auditorium. They were all required to do a project to graduate and it was time to decide on a subject to be assigned to a supervisor fit for the chosen subject. Lea caught a glimpse of Augustus finding a seat at the front from where he sat on the upper rows of the auditorium shaped like an amphitheater. Augustus greeted a couple of classmates from the Astronomers’ Club that waved at him from across the room. He didn’t notice Isa walk up to him until he turned around to sit down. Lea watched their exchange, ready to feel his blood boil.

     Augustus froze, looked down at his feet and rose to quickly walk away and find a seat elsewhere, closer to his friends. Isa looked after him pitifully, pulling at the hem of his sleeves, the bruises faint on his face. Lea almost got out of his seat to run down to Isa and sit with him, but instead he leaned back and reached for Madeleine’s hand, praying that she would keep him grounded. Fortunately, she did.

     While the teachers sat down on their seats up on stage, Dr. Even walked up to the microphone and tapped on it until a loud screech ripped through the speakers and had everyone nearly jump out of their skin.

     “Right,” Dr. Even began and cleared his throat. “Welcome to this special seminar. I hope you come well prepared. I’ll start with a brief introduction, general information, but first…” Dr. Even turned around and let out an annoyed sigh when the person he was looking for hadn’t been seated yet. “If he can come out here so that we can speed things along,” Dr. Even said to someone behind the scenes. “Yes, come now.”

     A new teacher walked out on stage and stood next to Dr. Even. Judging by the white coat, he was another teacher for the Science Department. There had been rumors that Dr. Even had been asking for an assistant for years, but Dr. Even’s supposed godlessness had played against him. Lea yawned at the sight of the new teacher and glanced at the big clock on the wall behind him.

     “This is professor Xehanort. He is a teacher in training and students who frequent the labs will get better acquainted with him in due time. He will also be taking over the extra tutoring sessions. Do you have anything to add, professor Xehanort?”

     Professor Xehanort shook his head once, watching the crowd in his own pace until Dr. Even placed a hand on his shoulder and thanked him for joining them in a tone that didn’t seem grateful at all.

     The hours dragged on at a snail’s pace. On occasion, Lea found himself looking at the back of Isa’s head, wondering what he was doing. Was he listening intently while taking notes or was he doodling silly drawings of Dr. Even rambling on? He was shaken out of it when Madeleine suddenly leaned her head against his shoulder and snuggled in as close as the armrest between them would allow. Lea almost questioned it, but then he realized that he had been running his thumb up and down the side of Madeleine’s hand in soothing motions, much like he did when he felt Isa’s bruised knuckles and did his best to mend the hurt. Madeleine must have taken it as proof of something else. Her proximity eased the anxiety that had made a home of his chest. There was still a chance to make things right, Lea realized, and sunk back into his chair and turned on his head to place a soft kiss on Madeleine’s forehead.

-x-

Seventh Heaven was a popular hang-out spot for the privileged youth in Radiant Garden. It was open from three at the afternoon until eight in the evening. Open hours after that were solely for the adults. Lea had frequented Seventh Heaven regularly for dates with Madeleine and to spend times with his friends and future co-workers. This evening was just like any other the past few weeks with excellent company, rewarding conversations about things that were real, that mattered, of political changes that could be beneficial in the day to day life of the citizens. There was no mentioning of stars or aliens and nothing as ludicrous as starting a revolution just to get girls into the advanced science course.

     “I totally get why you’d want an autumn wedding, but how about late spring?” Madeleine’s friend Joselyn had been sitting in their corner booth when they had arrived. She was obsessed with weddings. There wasn’t a wedding in their parish she had missed these past three years, and she was fast determined on making herself Madeleine and Lea’s wedding planner. “Sure, it’s a bit windy, but you don’t have to hold reception at the Eastern Wall, right?”

     “Late spring would be great,” Madeleine said and glanced back at Lea with a small smile. “But the church is fully booked at that time and -”

     “What? Already? Even two years ahead?” Joselyn gaped.

     “It’s the prettiest church in Radiant Garden,” Lea said. “Besides, a lot of our classmates are getting married around the same time, too. It’s my fault we missed our opportunity to get married in spring. I’ve been distracted lately. Forgot what’s important.”

     Madeleine patted his knee and leaned her head back against his chest for a brief moment. Lea had his arm around her shoulder, relaxed in her company. What a perfect picture they made. It was a shame that he hadn’t gotten the chance to let his father see him with his bride to be more often.

     “Ah, yes. We noticed,” Jocelyn said with a knowing smile. “You were in charge of that Blueface, weren’t you? My dad has had a lot of good things to say about Mr. Ferris’ initiative. The progress has been great, hasn’t it? My brother has seen the Blueface at church more than the priests lately. They’ll finally be able to live like normal people once that Blueface converts them all.”

     “Isa, wasn’t it?" Madeleine recalled. "My dad was furious after what he had Augustus do with the protests. He was on a meeting with the principal once a week for a whole month before Mr. Ferris had to step in. I think Lea was promoted from chaperone to something more administrative? We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.”

     “If by administrative you mean focus on school,” Lea forced a laugh.

     No matter where he went or what he did, Isa found a way to haunt him. The time it took for him to settle back into the comfort of normalcy was an eternity in comparison to the time it took for a mention of Isa to disrupt his calm exterior.

     “Your dad has been trying to get Dr. Even kicked out of the School Board, right?” Jocelyn asked Madeleine. “Dr. Even came with a proposition to separate religion from school. My dad came home furious after a meeting when Dr. Even said that religion and other hocus pocus should be kept in church. He’s gonna burn for sure.”

     “Yes, my dad has demanded an investigation to decide whether Dr. Even is fit for the School Board. Mr. Ferris is supporting him, so I don’t think it will be a problem. Dr. Even may be knowledgeable in some aspects, but he has been getting very arrogant lately,” said Madeleine.

     “I’m sure King Ansem will put that dog back on a leash soon enough,” Lea said and smiled at them both.

     Their date came to an end too soon. Madeleine had signed up for piano class and they could no longer spend whole evenings together. Lea was always reluctant to go back home when he knew he would be in time for dinner. He preferred to sneak inside when everyone was asleep. There was always a risk of Isa being there at dinner and Lea didn’t want his hard work to come undone. Their paths had only crossed a few times the past month and nothing had happened, but Lea still hoped that Isa would be at church when he got back home. He had no such luck, however. Isa was at the table when Lea came back to join his family for dinner. His hair had grown past his shoulders, and Lea’s father did not care for it at all and suggested Eve lend Isa a scrunchy to not have Isa look like a homeless person at the dinner table. Isa tied his hair up without a word.

     “Isa, your hands are blue. Are you cold?” Eve asked and looked up at Isa. “Have you been practicing too much, perhaps?”

     Despite himself, Lea looked at Isa too when no reply came. Isa pulled his sleeves down and seemed to observe the setting of the table.

     “Eve is talking to you. You answer when spoken to,” Mr. Ferris said through his teeth.

     “Too much practice,” Isa replied at last.

     “What’s going on?” Lea asked immediately. His hands trembled at the glare he got from his father. Lea wasn’t one to question, at least not his father, but the sudden, heavy weight settling in the pit of his stomach at what he was seeing, had Lea break this habit.

     “Honey, now is not the time,” Mrs. Ferris quickly cut in.

     “No. I wanna know. Why - why is he like that?” Lea swallowed hard.

     Mr. Ferris rose from his seat and Mrs. Ferris did too. She placed a calming, pleading hand on her husband’s arm.

     “My office,” was all Mr. Ferris said as he left the room.

     Mrs. Ferris tried to keep Lea at the table, but Lea hurried after his father. Mr. Ferris stood behind his desk, his back against the doorway when Lea stepped inside. Lea closed the door after himself.

     “Dad? What’s going on?”

     “It’s said that the Devil comes in many disguises and brings many evils.” Mr. Ferris turned slowly to face Lea. The expression, though dark, was unreadable. Mr. Ferris rarely looked pleased, but the air around him was thick enough to make it hard to breathe.

     “Is Isa in trouble?”

     “Augustus came by with his parents. They had unsettling news.”

     Lea’s knees nearly gave in. His mouth went dry. The muscles in his throat tensed.

     “Isa had twisted Augustus mind with filth. An intelligent young man like Augustus turned into a shameful mess with little hope for a worthy future. Only God knows what that savage deviant did to him. The poor boy claimed to be heartbroken and said he heard voices urging him to turn his back on God and do unspeakable things. Isa’s evil knows no bounds, Lea. And I have to know,” Mr. Ferris’ voice trembled slightly with fear. “Did he do anything to you?”

     "Did anything?" Lea cleared his throat nervously. "Like how do you mean? We haven't... fought or anything. I don’t… understand why Augustus would be heartbroken..." Lea broke into cold sweat. Mr. Ferris was an expert on lies and deceit. Nothing stopped him from seeing through Lea's feigned innocence.

     "So he hasn't made you do anything _ungodly_? He hasn’t forced himself on…?" The relief in his father's voice had Lea shake his head immediately and decisively.

     "I'm glad to hear it. You were always stronger than Augustus in the face of abominations." Mr. Ferris rounded his desk to walk up to Lea now that he knew there was no reason for disgust. "Isa will be kept here until further notice. We have not given up on him yet. He made great progress in becoming something akin to normal, but his kind is prone to Devil's possession, and we will vanquish it. We might be able to find a cure for his disease," Mr. Ferris said reassuringly.

     "H-how?"

     "Conversion therapy was the first step, but it became clear that he would need something much stronger. We have our best scientists working on him, Lea. Dr. Xehanort has proven to be very skilled in his research area and he has taken an interest in Isa and his health."

     "And... what, what's next? Not lobotomy, right? That's not - that hasn't ever worked. Dr. Even does that, doesn’t he? Or he’s promoted it, but, but he’s not reliable. You've seen it. The mental ward, it's just meat sacks. Isa has to be well, for the program." Lea fumbled for words while keeping his nausea down and his knees steady. His father had never held science in high regard. There was only room for faith in God and his grand plan. If scientist were involved, it meant Mr. Ferris was grasping at straws to save his initiative.

     "We'll see if it has to come to that. It's better than what Augustus' parents suggested. Naturally, they wanted Isa to hang from his neck." Mr. Ferris patted Lea on the shoulder. "Son, Isa is no longer your concern. You have to focus on living your life and accomplish your goals. Your mother has been telling me that you've been getting along swimmingly with Madeleine. The girl's heart sings for you." Mr. Ferris smiled. "I'm proud of you, Lea."

     For years Lea had lived to hear those words, addicted to the sense of accomplishment and purpose they gave him. They rang hollow in his head now as he tried to finish his dinner with Isa sat across from him. Lea struggled to swallow. Something obstructed his airways and clouded his sight.

     Late at night, once everyone had gone to sleep, Lea snuck out of his bedroom and into Isa's. Every slight creak, every ominous shadow cast on the walls, had Lea nearly run back into his room. This wasn't his concern. He had a life to get back on track and a reputation to upkeep. But he couldn't let it be.

     Isa lay asleep on his bed, flat on his back. He was tucked in, his hands on his chest as though he had been prepared to be put in a coffin. The unnatural stillness had Lea search for a pulse. Isa was a restless sleeper. He tossed and turned, got tangled in his sheets, murmured incoherently, mixing languages when he mumbled about aliens, deer and forest spirits. Lea let out a shaky breath once he found Isa's steady pulse.

     "Isa?" Lea shook him slightly. "Isa, wake up. It's time to go home. You don't wanna upset Nilas, do you? C'mon."

     Isa remained motionless even after various attempts of waking him. Lea stood back in frustration and bumped against the nightstand. A photo frame tilted over with a heavy thud and Lea managed to grab the small table lamp before it fell onto the floor. The aluminum tray right by the lamp caught Lea's eye. Two full, thin syringes lay on it, ready to be used.

     "That can't be good," Lea sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He lifted Isa up by his shoulders and struggled to keep him upright. Isa was too heavy to carry. Lea looked around frantically to find an alternative to carrying him to the door when he heard voices from downstairs. The light of a flashlight lit up a spot on the wall and made it through the crack of the door. The voices weren’t familiar to Lea, but the heavy steps up the stairs told of men with big builds. He laid Isa back down and hurried to hide under the bed. He slipped his feet into the safety of the dark under the bed just as two men walked in quietly. Lea’s heart hammered in his chest. He could hear them mumble. The spot of light moved around the room when they fumbled with the flashlight.

     “Grab his legs,” one of the men said, frustrated.

     The bed creaked when they lifted Isa off the bed. Lea held his hands over his mouth, frozen with fear. He watched them walk out of the room confidently, one carrying Isa over his shoulder as though he was nothing more than a bag of goods. Lea could have hurried out of the room, grabbed a syringe and lodged it in someone’s thigh. He could have screamed for help, revealed their presence, but the manner in which the two men had waltzed in here, fully aware of where to get what they had come for, made Lea suspect that his father was behind this. Maybe it was routine to carry Isa off into the night to give him the treatment he needed to be healed.

     Lea held back a sob. He took a deep breath and crawled out from his hiding place. His legs trembled as he paced around Isa’s room. There was still time to walk away. If Isa wanted, he could leave. The memory of Isa at the dinner table shook Lea’s frail conviction. Mr. Ferris was set on fixing Isa. If Isa left, after Augustus’ confession, he would not show up alone on Nilas’ doorstep. Soldiers would come for him. His tribe would get in between. There would be deaths.

     Dr. Xehanort. If those men had taken Isa to anyone, it had to be to wherever Dr. Xehanort was. Lea was out the door before he knew it. He ran down empty streets, past patrolling guards until he reached the lowest part of the castle wall by the guards’ practice court. The tightly packed stones were slippery in the constant drizzle, but Lea managed to climb over it. He knew the castle like the back of his hand - even the places of it he hadn’t been to. Mr. Ferris had shown Lea blueprints of it early on to have Lea memorize it. He was going to walk the castle halls one day as one of the King’s advisors, as Chairman of the Board of Commerce. And now, he was using his knowledge to try to find Isa, to sneak around to where he knew the Board of Scientific Matters had their quarters. The generally disregarded board consisted of Dr. Even, two lowly assistants and presumably Dr. Xehanort. Their space was limited to a floor underground by King Ansem’s inventory of small foods.

     The dark corridors, the occasional steps and mumbling from the patrolling night guards, kept Lea on edge. His heart hadn’t settled at all. Every corner he rounded could be his last, but by some miracle he made it to the right floor. He had no plan for how he was going to get Isa out of the castle. The optimist in him had hoped that Isa would be awake and well enough to walk on his own. It wasn’t until he stood inside the empty room that the stupidity of his actions sunk in. He was powerless. Should he speak for Isa’s freedom, stand up for him, he would cast suspicion on himself. August was believable. No one would admit to deviant thoughts willingly. Isa had dug his own grave; Lea had only tried to help.

     Lea slammed his fist against the closest wall, his chest heaving with every breath he took. He was pacing again when he noticed that the whole panel had caved in and revealed a secret exit. The corridor behind it was lit with torches on the walls. It was carved through the bedrock and stretched on for at least a mile before Lea reached its end. With a little force, Lea managed to push the door aside, enough to squeeze through and make it to the other side. This wasn’t mapped out anywhere. The tunnel had been built recently and so was this underground facility. The walls were covered with green granite. The use of green granite was fairly new and had gone up in trend only because of the increased supply. King Ansem had conquered land recently due to a mysterious illness that had vanquished a small tribe up north. Their bodies had been warm still when miners swarmed their mountains and began to plunder them to reach a rumored vein of gold.

     A twisted scream from down the hallway had Lea lose what little color he had left. The turn of his stomach and the recurring weak spot in his knees made it difficult to move, but at the second scream, Lea ran toward it. All signs of stealth and tactical thinking disappeared. If he was caught, he’d be returned to his father. Safety made him careless. It had never occurred to him that his father’s jurisdiction and influence were limited. He saw a man walk down a hall, carrying someone on his shoulder. Lea moved to follow, but a sudden, hard strike to the back of his head knocked him out cold.

-x-

A constant dripping echoed through Lea’s sore head and brought his attention to the desert in his mouth. He was face down on the cold floor of a meager cell. The water was dripping into a rusty bucket. Under normal circumstances, Lea would have kept his distance, but he had never known a thirst greater than this one. He crawled over to the bucket and nearly dropped his head straight into it. A scream rattled his brain and reminded him of where he had been before he was knocked out. His heart dropped to his stomach. He rose to his feet and hurried to where a faint light was coming in through bars on a small, narrow window on a thick metal door. Lea gripped and pulled at the bars.

     “Hello?! Anyone?! There’s been a mistake here! I’m Lea Ferris - I -”

     A shadow hurried across the wall ahead. Lea froze for a split second before he pulled and pushed at the bars as much as he could. The shadow disappeared down the hallway slowly, its steps light. A child looked back at Lea from where he stood half-hidden by the corner.

     “Hey, kid…” Lea’s voice broke at the thousand questions that rose in his mind at seeing a child in a place like this, at this time of night. “Go and get a grown-up, please? There’s been a mistake. I shouldn’t be here.”

     “Ienzo!” The shrill voice of a grown man had Lea nearly cry with relief. There was something oddly familiar about the voice, but Lea didn’t think much of it until he saw the face of the infamous godless man of Radiant Garden, Dr. Even. The dark rings under his eyes were darker than usual. His glasses made his eyes look as though his brain was pushing his eyeballs out of his skull. Though not a pretty sight, Dr. Even was a teacher at Lea’s school. He was a board member, undeniably acquainted with Lea’s father.

     “Dr. Even! P-please. Help!” Lea yelled as soon as he recognized him.

     “He’s here for his friend,” the child said.

     “If it isn’t Mr. Lea Ferris,” Dr. Even hummed and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Your snooping around finally paid off, did it?”

     “No, sir,” Lea said, voice thick. “I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t snoop again.”

     “A bit late for that, I think. This facility is top secret information. We can’t have you go and tell on us to your arrogant father.” The piercing amusement in Dr. Even’s eyes was terrifying.

     “I - I’m not gonna tell anyone about this place. You, you can rest assured, sir. I’ll take this to my grave. Please, just let me out.”

     "Why don't you ask your god to let you out? Isn't that what your father dearest has taught you?” Dr. Even chuckled but stopped almost immediately and scowled. “I will not jeopardize this marvelous place to help the spawn of Mr. Ferris." Dr. Even spat his name, wrinkling his nose at it. "If it's any consolation, you will help us prove the existence of the human soul” Dr. Even laughed again.

     "My dad will shut you all down," Lea said past the building lump in his throat. "You better let me go before he turns Radiant Garden upside down looking for me."

     "Did you know that rage opens ways to the heart? My hypothesis is that the core of the soul resides in the heart. We just have to extract it to prove it and see what we get. Maybe we'll even be able to follow it and once and for all see for ourselves if there's a big bearded old man up in the skies, judging us. Every grant given to the church and its pseudo-science will be given to me once I present my results." Dr. Even gritted his teeth and widened his eyes. "You will all pay for making a mockery of us. You finding your way here might have been destiny. You believe in that, don’t you? The Great Plan? Morons is what all of you are. Ienzo, let's go. It's past your bedtime."

     "What about his friend?" Ienzo asked as he grabbed Dr. Even's hand.

     "Yes, right," Dr. Even chuckled. "You're neighbors. A fine specimen, your friend. So full of rage and insecurities. Bringing him to us is the only valuable thing you father will ever do," Dr. Even said to Lea and looked back at him once before he walked off with Ienzo.

     Lea scrambled back into the small cell. The rocks were not in an even surface here. He climbed up the bumpy wall, holding onto the surface underneath him with his toes as he pushed himself up by grabbing a narrow window ledge. The window was an elongated sliver of dusty polycarbonate. The door to the other cell was slammed against the wall. Lea nearly lost his grip. A large man walked inside with Isa wrapped up in his bedcovers, tossed over the man’s shoulder. Lea watched the man lay Isa down on the floor. Isa’s legs were bare, and there was no sight of his pajama sleeves from the little Lea could see. Lea’s heart was beating hard enough for it to feel like it was trying to cut its way through his ribs. With a clenched fist, Lea banged on the small window, screaming for the man’s attention with pleas and empty threats. Each breath was quick and shallow. He couldn’t hear himself think. The fear in him was a thick sludge running through his veins and it blocked everything inside of him. Eventually, the window broke. Dust didn’t blur his vision anymore. He winced at the dull ache in his hand, and sobbed at seeing the faint traces of crimson on the light blue blanket. His throat clenched around Isa’s name when he tried to speak it. His prayers were of nothing but distress as worse became worst. Isa convulsed, his cries choked by the pain. The torture continued all through the night, and it would all get worse still.

     Nothing could have prepared him for the life that was to come.


	20. Home

* * *

Waking up to a perfect white ceiling and soft, warming covers was a whipping contrast to the reality in prison. A heavy lump of anxiety settled in the pit of Isa’s stomach every morning. He woke up without fever after a night of good sleep, mostly free from nightmares. There were no angry guards ordering him into confined spaces where he was forced to strip for cold showers every morning. No furious prisoners screaming for his head. Isa had only been in prison for a month or so, but he had gotten used to it quickly; the familiarity of being a target for open hatred was one he subconsciously remembered. With the heavy burden of guilt resting on his shoulders, it had only seemed right to be there; it had been a proportioned punishment. Not having that, knowing that he now was in protection that he wasn’t worthy of, made Isa uneasy.

     Lea didn’t make matters better. The last time Isa had seen him, Lea had been ready to fight him for the three soldiers he believed Isa had killed. There was not a trace of that now.

     Lea had been cautious around him from the start, waiting for Isa to slip and reveal to the world the monster wearing a human facade. If Isa hadn’t known better, he would say hope lit Lea’s face up now, even here, when they were in the same room. Lea claimed that he had been the one to think of the idea that had the Restoration Committee agree to release Isa from prison. Isa hadn’t questioned it. Whether it was true or not, it didn’t matter. He was going home. After all of these years, after trying to leave his heritage, what he knew, for what he thought would be something better, he would go back. The thought made his heart flutter every time and he had to fight the urge to cry.

     The longing made him restless. The land, the house, everything that had been his grandfather’s, was his now. Lea had given him a copy of the contract to read and Dr. Even had done an excellent work at composing it. The four workers that were to come and live with him were not named in the contract. It only said that Ienzo was to choose them and Dilan would verify and approve Ienzo’s choices and have his men escort the four workers to Isa when time was due. Isa didn’t even want to think about the Restoration Committee and their reaction to this contract or what Ienzo had had to do in order for them to willfully agree to all of the terms and conditions written here. All that mattered was that it was done.

     At nine o’clock sharp, Lea walked into the room, holding a tray with breakfast that he had made himself according to a recipe left by Ienzo. They were a week into this game of charades, Lea had done the same every morning without fail.

     “Good morning!” Lea smiled and waited patiently for Isa to sit up properly before propping the tray onto his lap. “Slept well?”

     Isa nodded groggily.

     Breakfast today was black rice with spinach sprinkled with sesame seed, a sliced boiled egg and a cup of hot green tea to drink.

     “Your eyes are looking a lot better,” Lea said and sat down on his seat beside the bed. “I was thinking we could go for a walk counter-clockwise this time. I’d like to see if there’s a room in this lab that hasn’t been covered in pictures of kittens and puppies.”

     “There isn’t.”

     Isa dug into his breakfast while Lea looked through a small pile of books that he had brought for Isa from the Royal Library. They were all on different aspects of farming. Truth to be told, Isa didn’t understand why no one in the Restoration Committee had taken time to read through those books and have prisoners work the fields for them. Lea had said that there were many reasons and that the major one was chaos. People were homeless. The slums were growing and other urgent problems arose that the Restoration Committee had to deal with before they did anything else. None of them were cut out to lead a nation. Trial and error was all they had to see what worked and what didn’t. With so much to do, and with the overwhelming responsibility that came with being head of state, it was easy to forget small, but important, things. Besides, they were growing accustomed to the aid they received from Disney World. Dependence was a vicious cycle and could easily cloud anyone’s judgement.

     “Did you like it?” Lea asked when Isa finished breakfast and absentmindedly licked his fingertips.

     “Yeah. It was good.”

     “Great ‘cause that’s what’s for lunch and dinner, too.”

     “I don’t mind.”

     “Today you were supposed to eat banana pancakes for breakfast, but I’m not good with pancakes. I tried to make them, but they either crumbled or one side turned to coal,” Lea chuckled. “Roxas tried to teach me, but it’s been awhile since I practiced. His pancakes are in a different league, though. I would seriously consider cutting back on sea salt ice cream for Roxas’ pancakes once a week.”

     It was hard to tell what Lea expected Isa to answer. All this confinement couldn’t be doing Lea any good. According to the contract, his sole job was to take care of Isa. Should he fail to do so, he could be banned from Radiant Garden perpetually. Lea could only leave for small moments at a time when Isa was asleep, and that couldn’t be enough for Lea to meet with his friends. So he did the next best thing. He talked about them for as long as Isa would seem to be listening. Roxas was his favorite subject. Isa wasn’t surprised.

     “I’m going to take a shower,” Isa interrupted before Lea could continue. “I’d like to change out of the hospital gown.”

     Isa’s only change of clothes was his pine-tree patterned sweater and worn cargo pants. They had been washed at least. He thought it would be better to wear his own clothes. Lea took the tray back to the kitchen while Isa took his clothes out of a bag from prison and walked into the bathroom. There was a mirror over the sink, facing the shower. Isa put his towel over the mirror before he undressed. He hadn’t seen himself since he had gotten back to Radiant Garden. He avoided all kinds of reflections to not have to look at himself. For a brief moment he had toyed with the thought of embracing his physical self by first acknowledging it. His body was the furthest thing from perfection, but it was his and he had been granted a second chance to get to know the world through his senses. That thought had led to Isa dropping his guard and think that maybe he could allow himself pleasure.

     One time was all it took. Before he knew it, he had been thrown into prison. God or no God, it didn’t matter. Whatever force governed the universe reminded him of the unnatural ways his body worked. Abominations had no place in any natural world, and Isa yearned fervently for a place here. He wasn’t going to let this chance slip through his fingers when he knew that he could feign normalcy. Besides, the likelihood of his feelings being requited was what it always had been, highly unlikely.

     Quickly, Isa scrubbed his body clean, fearful of his own touch and bothered by the sensation of his skin. His hands didn’t feel like his own, soft as they were, recuperated from long training sessions holding the heavy Claymore. Farming would get his hands back into their old state, skin hardened by blisters and rough work. When Isa had worked with Nilas, there hadn’t been much spare time. They rose with the sun and started to work as soon as they had eaten breakfast until after dinner. If that wasn’t ideal for dealing with anxiety, Isa didn’t know what was. Drowning in work is what he knew.

     Isa ran his fingers through his long, wet hair and looked at the tips of it with disdain. It was going to get in the way when he worked. It was heavy and took a long time to dry. He had wanted long hair as a child, but keeping it long now only seemed like holding onto a part of Xehanort’s legacy. Isa found scissors in a cupboard underneath the sink and contemplated pulling the towel away from the mirror to see what he was doing. It was better not to; his eyes were more amber than before if Lea was to be trusted.

     Isa cut through his thick hair, locks of it falling to the floor in bunches. An uneven cut didn’t matter, he just wanted it off. He ran his fingers through his hair every now and then to feel where it needed more cutting and trimming until he felt done. It was at shoulder length when Isa put the scissors down by the sink. After another quick shower, Isa got dressed and rummaged through the cupboard again to find something to put his hair in; he found a small and thin aluminum box where he jammed his locks.

    When Lea came back into the room, Isa sat on his bed, reading through a particular book about what plants to plant together to help sustain the soil and the minerals and vitamins in it.

    “What… happened to your hair?” Lea asked, staring.

    “I cut it. It was getting in my way.” Isa looked up from the book. “Has it snowed yet?”

    “Uh, not yet.” Lea stared still, narrowing his eyes as if that would have Isa’s hair grow out long again.

    “I think I know what field to use to farm. The soil around the house needs too much work, but the soil at the Snow Mountain Glade is softer, and there’s a creek nearby. If it hasn’t snowed yet, there’s time to turn the soil and prepare it for spring.”

    “The glade in the middle of the forest? Won’t the animals eat the crops?”

    “I’ll put up fences eventually.”

    “Isn’t it like a thirty-minute walk or more from the house to that field, though? That’s gonna be rough.”

    Isa sighed.

    “Good thing you won’t be the one having to work at it then.”

   A knock on the door prevented Lea from saying anything back. A young-looking soldier walked in, gave Lea a salute and reached Isa an envelope.

    “General Dilan has a message for you,” the soldier said, saluted again and went off without another word.

    Isa read the letter. Dilan had approved the four workers Ienzo had recommended and had issued an order for their release to whenever they received word from Lea about Isa’s health. Halfway-through stood the names of the first workers and Isa smiled at the familiar names; Frank, Rupert, Clark and Nicholas.

    “What does it say?”

    “It’s just the names of the workers.” Isa put the letter back into the envelope and placed it in his book before closing it. “I would like to go back to my house first thing tomorrow morning. I feel a lot better now and the house can be heated by fireplace.”

    “You’re not going out to plow the field tomorrow,” Lea said, crossing his arms, familiar with the need of making oneself useful after recovering from a dark episode.

    “Fine, but the faster I get back the quicker you can return to your friends and the faster I can start teaching people to farm.”

    Lea hung his head and rubbed his neck, sighing.

    “Let’s see how you feel tomorrow, then I’ll decide.”

-x-

Leon hurried down one of the grand hallways of the castle. Tension had been high the last couple of days after the meeting with Ienzo. Morale was at an all-time low. Ienzo showed how little power the Restoration Committee had, and how limited their knowledge was when it came to the laws of their own state. Cid had immersed himself in work to not have to think about his wife’s murderer walking free with land and house to his name, which was much more than any of his victims currently had.  His new project was plumbing. They had been naïve to think that the slums were only going to be temporary when this could very well be the new face of Radiant Garden.

    The cholera pandemic had been a rude awakening. The contaminated water from the slums would sooner or later find its way into the city’s water supply if no one did anything, and Cid wanted to do something before the disease hit the city center. Leon could hear the protests to that already. He was already fully aware of the newcomers feeling discriminated against for what they had been. Their transformation into Heartless and Nobodies was one they couldn’t be held responsible for, but many questioned their inability to keep away from darkness. Once tainted, always tainted. The Heartless and Nobodies had taken part in the destruction of Radiant Garden. They should be left to wallow in the misery of it, too. Leon’s greatest fear was that the former Heartless and Nobodies could still be controlled by the Organization’s members. He had hoped to see signs of it when he had taken Isa to Sector Seven.

    Leon was walking down the stairs to the main entrance hall when he saw Cloud run in and stop once he saw Leon.

    “Your girlfriend came by to visit you at the police station,” Cloud said, his words echoing in the grand hall. Leon made a face.

    “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s our informant.”

    “Thanks to a leak everyone knows that we’re releasing Saïx,” Cloud said in a low voice.

    “What?! How?!” Leon clenched his fists tightly. No one could be trusted these days.

    “I don’t know. Lynn said that she found out because a group of men meet up at the tavern Aerith and Tifa opened up there, and she overheard them talking. They’re planning a hit. She said there’s no way they’re gonna let him escape alive.”

    “So they know where he is? How are they going to follow through?”

    “That’s the thing. They’re most likely just talk at this point. But they are planning a protest outside the castle, probably in hopes to get in here and look for him. The information has spread to people looking for their missing ones near the city center. Claire was on the phone with two upset citizens when I left. If people from Sector Seven come here, and some are infected with cholera, they’re gonna take it here. We can’t let that happen. _And_ ,” Cloud sighed, rubbing his forehead roughly. “I think we could have a riot on our hands. People are _pissed_. With all right, sure, but what we can we do? If we try to explain it, we’ll have to tell them that we have Xehanort’s pawns running the show. That’s just gonna make everything worse. We could try to convince them that we still have Saïx locked up.”

    “I don’t know, Cloud. People aren't that inclined to trust us anymore. Not after we had the Royal Guards swarm Sector Seven in the middle of the night.”

    “We could ask Aerith to hold the conference. She rarely holds speeches, everyone knows her and trust her blindly.”

    “You think she’d lie?” Leon asked. It was the best idea they had thus far.

    “If the option is a riot, citizens clashing with armed guards, I think she’d be up for it.”

    “Let’s have her on standby then. We should probably call for a meeting to get our stories straight, and could you talk to Aerith about this beforehand?”

    “Why can’t you? Aren’t you going to the tavern for dinner later?”

    Leon stuttered for a bit before he cleared his throat and tried again.

    “How do you know that?”

    “Our informant’s first order of business was to ask me if you’re allergic to peanuts. Didn’t take much brainpower to figure out the rest. Listen, I don’t know if you’ve been talking with Tifa lately-”

    “I’m surprised you have,” Leon cut in quickly as retaliation and tried not to seem too obvious about it.

    “You feel better now?” Cloud shook his head at Leon. “Anyway, we talked, and she had a great idea. We’ve been having trouble running this place for a while now. We can’t get people to unite behind us, and Tifa was saying that it was because people couldn’t see us as a symbol of power. King Ansem was a symbol of power, remember? So, talking about it, we remembered that King Ansem had a granddaughter who’s now a Keyblade wielder.”

    “The blue-haired one?”

    “No, not Aqua. Kairi. She’s the successor to the throne. If we could just convince her to lead us for a little while, while we get things in order, I think we could get Radiant Garden back on track again.”

    “Cloud, she’s a kid.”

    “I know, but you saw her fight. She cares for this place. She’s got the qualities of a leader. People would unite for her.”

    Leon held his breath for a moment. Cloud was right. The people of Radiant Garden needed someone to look up to, someone with ties to their glorious past who also held hope for a glorious future. There was no better candidate than Kairi. Their biggest hurdle would be convincing her to take on the role as their queen when she had just recently gone back to a life she could share with her friends.

-x-

Every now and then, Lea would look up at Isa from the book he was pretending to read. Isa had been restless since Lea had told him that they were leaving for the house in the woods after lunch. He paced in silence, chewed on his thumb distractedly and looked at the small clock on the wall above the door. The new haircut had taken years off Isa’s usually solemn expression, and the news that he was going home had done wonders to remediate the ever present frown. He looked adorable. It had been years since that thought had struck Lea, and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

    “Lea,” Isa broke the silence after another moment of pacing around. “How are we getting out of here? Will there be a coach waiting outside? Has there been an announcement about my release?”

    “I don’t think so. I mean, I haven’t thought about it.” Lea put the book down when he realized that he had been pretending to read the same page for the past ten minutes. “Why?”

    “I don’t think people will be pleased when they find out.” Isa looked back up at the clock and let out a shaky sigh.

    “The fastest way there would be teleporting. If you’re up for it, we could do that. You don’t have much to carry, do you?”

    “Just the books.”

    “We’ll teleport then.”

    Isa stopped pacing after that. He stacked the books inside the bag from prison and waited patiently until Lea announced that it was time. They appeared by the ruins of the bridge, facing the forest that had thickened over the past ten years. The sun appeared and disappeared behind the clouds. The air was chilly, Lea could see his own breath and there was still frost on the trees. Isa didn’t turn around to see Radiant Garden behind them. He saw the forest, and though the path that had once been there had faded over the years, he ran into the forest, following the path as if it had been lit up with a bright light. Lea hurried after him, shouting a protest, but Isa ignored him. Isa picked up speed, dodging the protruding roots expertly, his eyes set on the house that didn’t become visible until ten minutes later.

    The grass on the lawn had grown a bit, but it was still much shorter than when Isa had been here. Isa stopped by the worn down well, breathing hard. Small clouds of white tattled of it long before Lea could come within hearing distance. Isa took a few seconds to look at the house from the outside, the sunlight hitting the dark roof and melted away the last bit of frost.

    The heavy door didn’t creak when Isa opened it and stepped inside. The first thing he did was to look over at the counter where Nilas would have been, fixing or polishing something when Isa walked through the door. There was no one there now, only memories. Still, Isa stared in awe. Lea had fixed the house as much as he could, and the shelves behind the counter stood straight with glass jars on top, filled with dried berries.

    “You were out of it for a while and Lex didn’t want me around, so I cleaned up the place a little. I was given the couch in the lounge, so don’t worry about that. I also managed to prepare the annex for the workers. There’s four beds in there and a stove so they don’t freeze to death.”

    Isa walked up to the shelf behind the counter while Lea talked and grabbed one jar to inspect it. He unscrewed the lid slowly and had a whiff, looking at the content curiously.

    “What are these?” he asked as he reached for the sticky fruit.

    “Dates,” Lea said and watched Isa inspect it closely. “They’re really sweet. They grow by the dozens in Agrabah. They’re basically the closest thing nature will come to candy. Give it a try. Careful, there’s a seed in the middle.”

    Isa ate it with a neutral expression.

    “You like it?”

    “It made my teeth ache. But it was nice. Thank you.” Isa put the jar back. “I’ll go upstairs to leave the books.”

    “Alright. I’ll get a fire started.”  
    Lea watched Isa walk upstairs from where he stood by the open fireplace in the lounge. He placed the firewood inside in a nice formation and placed his hand above them to have a flicker of flame spread over the wood. Lea sat down on the stolen couch and placed his hands behind his head while he waited for Isa to come back down.

    They had a lot to talk about. Time had passed them by and Lea couldn’t wait any longer. This was their second chance. To start off by making the same mistakes again would be tragic. They had to open their lines of communication, find common ground and go from there. Lea had unwillingly been thinking about their past a lot since finding Isa’s old diary note. It had been a while since Lea remembered the ugly side of his past in such vivid detail. That part of his past had been his main fuel during his first years with the Organization. It had been his source of guilt and the reason why he tried to make up for it by letting Isa dictate everything. In hindsight, it had been yet another bad decision on Lea’s part, but at the time it had dulled his guilt; it had been a short term decision, and it had worked exactly how Lea had hoped it would. He would’ve never guessed that the consequences would be resentment, hatred and a death wish.

   The fire crackled and broke Lea’s chain of thoughts. Isa hadn’t come down yet. Lea walked upstairs and found Isa’s bedroom door ajar.

    “Isa?”

    No response.

    The sunlight was faint but enough for Lea to see that Isa had laid down on his bed and hidden underneath the covers that Lea had found in a shop in Traverse Town along with the pillow and sheets. Isa was sound asleep in his old bed, in his old bedroom.

    Lea could relate to the impulse. He had slept for two solid days after rescuing Roxas and making sure that he was unscathed. Lea had been unaware of the tension and anxiety that had made it difficult for him to sleep in Roxas’ absence. Even his nightly anxiety attacks became scarce after Roxas’ rescue, and maybe these familiar grounds were to Isa what Roxas had been to Lea.


	21. To Honesty!

* * *

Next morning Lea found Isa in the small basement underneath the lounge, looking through old stuff that Nilas had stored. He had come across old photos he wanted to frame. It had been ingenuous to think that Isa’s exploration would end there. Before noon, he had found the old plough standing in the annex. Lea had seen the gears turn in Isa’s head the second he lay his eyes on it. He could follow Isa around all day, but Isa would try to run off to the glade sooner or later, carrying the plough in whichever way he could to get started with work.

     A half hour after discovering the plough, Lea gave into the idea and told Isa that they could at least go and look at the glade. Somehow, they ended up taking the plough with them through the dense forest. Isa carried it from the back, letting Lea lead the way. Isa wore the coat Lea had given him. He had pulled the hood over his head and borrowed Lea’s gloves. The shoes weren’t cut out for this the wet and chilly weather, but it was what Isa had.

     The only birds making noise in the forest were the ravens that looked after them curiously as they made their way to the Snowy Mountain Glade. Last time Lea went down this road, he had been carrying a heavy backpack, ready to care for reindeer for a whole summer.

     “We’re gonna need manure,” Isa said as they approached the end of the forest.

     “I bet Ienzo has manure stashed somewhere.”

     “Surely, with cholera going around.”

     Lea turned his head to see if he could catch a glance of Isa, and despite himself, he chuckled.

     “Was that a joke?” Lea shook his head, but smiled. “Your sense of humor is as dark as ever.”

     He didn’t get to see if Isa smiled, too. They kept on walking forward, carrying the plough between them until they got to the big field. It hadn’t changed a bit. There were no signs of the fall of their world here.

     “The creek is right by that tree over there. This side of the field doesn’t get as much sun as the one on the other side of the creek.” Isa pointed at a lonely tree. The ground was full of camouflaged holes. The creek shimmered with the light veil of frost upon its fragile icy surface.

     They left the plough aside for a moment while they discussed the dimensions of the piece of land that would be needed to grow enough crops to make a difference. Lea wanted to make use of the entire field, but had to give up on that idea when Isa reminded him that they didn’t have that kind of time to plough, nor were they certain they would have access to that much manure. It wasn’t until Lea was strapping himself to the plough that he realized that even half the field would be an overwhelming amount of work. Fortunately, this soil was soft in comparison to what it had been outside the house this morning. Isa held onto the plough as Lea pulled to have the mainshare and mouldboard dig up and turn the soil.

     It was like boot camp with Riku and Kairi all over again. Wielding a Keyblade was exhausting, and Lea had never felt as sick from exercising as he had done under Riku and Kairi’s tutelage. The plough turned out to be an equal taskmaster. Three turns in, Lea could feel his back soaked with sweat. The straps were cutting into his shoulders, but still he leaned forward as he walked.

    “You wanna switch?” Isa asked after another moment. He was breathing hard, but quiet.

    “You shouldn’t even be out doing this,” Lea mumbled. “Breathe through your nose. All of the cool air is going directly to your lungs the way you’re breathing now.”

    “I’m breathing fine. I’ll do the front for four turns and then we switch back.”

    “No. We’re almost done, anyway.”

    “We’ve barely done half,” Isa said amused and ended up coughing softly into the bend of his arm.

   “Okay, alright, you know what, we’ve done plenty today.” Lea stopped and started to pull the straps off.

   “My throat was itching a little,” Isa protested.

   “We’ll come back tomorrow. There’s no need to rush, alright? Ienzo will end us both if you get sick again. Let’s leave the plough here. I don’t think any bear will wander off with it.”

   Lea didn’t give Isa much of a choice. They walked back to the house in silence. As soon as they walked in through the door, Isa went for the steep staircase that led upstairs.

   “Isa?”

   “There’s a bathtub in the shed right by the annex. There’s a water pump and you have to light a fire to heat up the water.”

   “Are you going up to your room? You don’t have to lock yourself up anymore. Enjoy the house. Before you get people everywhere.”

   “I wasn’t going to lock myself up. I was going to read.”

   “Care to help me set up a bath? Given my record, I could end up setting the whole thing on fire.”

   Isa hesitated. He glanced toward his room before he sighed in defeat and walked back down and followed Lea to the shed.

   “You forgot your coat,” Lea said as they rounded the house.

   “It’s fine. I’ll sit by the fire. But you forgot to bring a towel. And soap. And a change of clothes. I’ll set up the bath while you go and get that,” Isa said and walked ahead.

   “I’ll be back in sec,” Lea shouted after him right before teleporting to the Keyblade-wielder’s lodge.

   It would be a lot easier to take a bath here. The upstairs bathroom had hot, clean water running right out of the tap into a tub made of crisp white porcelain. Lea had most of his clothes here, all his beauty products, and an unnecessary number of towels. Instead, he hurried into his room and grabbed an empty bag from his closet and threw it onto the bed so it sat gaping while Lea tossed clothes and other essential items into it. By the time Lea was back, there was smoke coming out the small chimney on the shed. Lea took what he needed from his bag and left it in the bedroom that had once been Nilas’.

   The shed was as odd as Lea remembered it to be. It had a small foyer where Isa sat, waving a folded piece of paper at the fire he had started to heat up the water in the wooden tub on the other side of the wall with the smoke that rose from it into the piping. Straws of grass had started to grow through the floor, but other than that, the shed was in good condition.

   Lea got out of his muddy shoes and took off his socks to slip his feet into his shower slippers before he stepped into the bathroom. He wasn’t shy about his body. It was easy for him to undress and leave his dirty clothes in a pile on a shelf in the corner of the room. Dates weren’t the only thing Lea had brought back from Agrabah. He had found lavender soap with a fragrance so sweet and relaxing that it put the French soaps to shame. Lea hadn’t bought any beauty products in the City of Bells since he discovered the products in Agrabah, and there were only two things better than their lavender soap; the shampoo and hair oil. After scrubbing, rubbing and cleansing, Lea finally stepped into the tub and sunk into it until he could blow bubbles in the water with his mouth.

   “Are you taking a bath after me?” Lea asked.

   “No.”

   “You can have some of this soap, and shampoo. It smells great. You smell it, don’t you?”

   “Yeah.”

   “And, baths are relaxing. You could use some relaxing. Especially considering that we have more than half of that field to plough tomorrow. It’s gonna be rough.”

   “I’m not taking a bath,” Isa said firmly.

   They fell into silence for a moment while Lea quietly blew raspberries in the bath.

   “Isa?”

   “What?” Isa sighed, still hidden behind the mahogany wall.

   “What does ‘mon rákhistan du’ mean?” Lea looked to where Isa would be sitting. He could hear him stand up and scratch his head and push up the sleeves of his sweater when he rubbed his arms.

   “I don’t know. I haven’t, heard it before.” Isa cleared his throat and walked slowly to the front door. “The water will be warm for a while longer. I’m gonna go back to read.”

   “Isa!” Lea called after him, but all he got in reply was the sound of the door slamming shut. Pursuing him didn’t strike Lea as a smart move anymore, at least not while he wasn’t sure what he wanted out of this. Mending with pity didn’t work.

   The eerie wobble of a dark portal had Lea sit upright in the bathtub. The wobble came and went consecutively in rapid succession. Heartless and Shadows were the only kind Lea knew to flock in such big quantities. He was out of the tub before he knew what he was doing. He pushed the door open just in time to hear Isa yell at a dark portal obstructing his way while he tried to walk around it. But the dark portal shifted to stand in Isa’s way again. It would’ve been funny had Lea’s imagination not gone off a hundred miles an hour. When he ran up to Isa, ready to summon his Keyblade, all he could see was Xigbar or Xemnas walk out and try to drag Isa back into the darkness. Lea didn’t register the cold ground underneath his feet or the draft of air he created when he ran stark naked up to the dark portal, ready to fight it off.

   “Isa! Step aside!”

   The dark portal disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

   “Damn it,” Lea muttered and looked around to see if it had reappeared elsewhere, but saw nothing. “Did you hear anything? Was it Xigbar?” Lea turned his attention from the surrounding forest to Isa.

   Isa lifted his gaze one second too late. In realizing his mistake, his cheeks flushed red, horrified and angered at the same time. Had it not been for the chance of getting at Xigbar, Lea would have loved to make something out of the moment of rarely displayed emotions on Isa’s face.

   “Isa?”

   “You’re gonna catch a cold,” was all Isa managed to say before he turned on his heel to hurry back into the house.

   Lea ran back to the shed and grabbed the first thing he could reach, his towel. He tied it around his waist while he ran back after Isa. Hopefully, Isa would have at least some information on who had opened the portal.

   Isa stood by the counter when Lea stormed in, pacing back and forth.

   “C’mon, Isa. This is important. Did you hear anyone? Do you know who opened it?”

   “I want you to talk to Dilan,” Isa said instead, his voice wavering. “Talk to him and tell him that I’m fine now. He can send the workers over as soon as possible. Do it today. Right now.” Isa was about to turn to face Lea, but decided against it as soon as he saw him.

   “What are you talking about? You’ve been back for a day. Rest. What, am I that insufferable that you can’t be around me for a week?”

   “Yes,” Isa answered before Lea finished. “You are that insufferable. I want to get to work, and my work is to grow plants, not to be chasing whoever is opening portals. That’s your job and your friends’ job. Not mine.” Isa took a deep, quick breath. “Put some clothes on.”

   Lea glanced down on himself and then back at Isa. The habit of biting back triumphed over reason. You hurt me, I hurt you; it’s how it always had been. A mocking snort, and then he struck.

   “Why? I thought this was what the likes of you lived for.”

   The regret was instant. The words were out before Lea knew what he was saying. The wind was knocked out of Isa. He stood speechless. His eyes wide with shock at hearing his secret be forced out in the open with a taunt.

   “Isa…” Lea’s mind raced, trying to find the right thing to say.

   “It’s, it’s not like that,” Isa said quietly, his voice thick. “That was a long time ago. I’m not…" Isa shook his head. "I’m not.”

   “I don’t know why I said that, Isa. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean –” Lea put his hand on Isa’s arm without thinking, instinctively acting as though he was talking with Roxas. Isa flinched and shoved Lea’s hand away.

   “Don’t touch me.”

  The lack of any stronger reaction reminded Lea of that night at school, of his knuckles pounding with the lingering pain of having punched Isa in the face for daring to kiss him. Isa had been quiet then, and he was quiet now. Before Lea could say anything else, Isa pushed past him and ran up to his room and locked the door. The silence that followed was crushing.

   It was years later from that night at school. They had been through a lot, changed, grown. They were adults now, men in their own right. Lea was no longer a stranger to his attraction for men, though he was aware that his acknowledgement of it came with reluctance. The fear of it wasn’t as strong now as it had been back then. Isa was still the same he had been when he had apologized for confessing, if not worse.

   Lea went back for his clothes and got dressed. He paced around the house in heavy silence until he couldn’t take it anymore. Only one thing could make this better. He rummaged the pantry in the kitchen for one of three bottles of alcohol; scotch, and a handful of shot glasses. He walked upstairs. If they couldn’t face and talk about this in a traditional, adult way, they would have to find other methods. Alcohol had worked for Lea to some extent. It could do the same for Isa.

   “Isa?” Lea knocked on Isa’s bedroom door and sat down to line up the glasses on the floor. “We have to talk, Isa. Accept what you cannot change and be honest; that’s the motto, right? I’ve got something that’ll take the edge off. Let’s make a game out of it.”

   Lea’s suggestion was met with silence, and he knocked again.

   “Isa, c’mon, let’s get it all out in the open, alright? We can—”

   The door creaked open. The click of the lock had completely escaped Lea.

   Isa sniveled and took one glance at the bottle by Lea before he sat down in front of him. He wiped his eyes with the back of one hand and took the bottle with his other.

   “Stay on your side of the doorway,” Isa said, a soft sob giving away what he had been doing since locking himself up in his room.

   “Will do. Do you know what that is?” Lea asked when Isa screwed off the lid of the bottle and had three big gulps before the burning forced him to take the bottle away from his lips. He coughed and made a face.

   “Elixir,” Isa mumbled and cleared his throat. “Why are the glasses so small?”

   “To get stuff said before we get too drunk. You gonna share that or do I need to go and get another bottle?”

   Isa poured himself a glass and drank it in one go, passing the bottle to Lea.

   “I’ll start,” Isa said and sniveled again. He chewed on his lower lip, eyes on the glass Lea filled. “Honestly,” he began reluctantly. “I did have a - a crush, on you. When we were kids. It wasn’t intentional. It was just there one day. I was a lonely child. You were kind. And... I, I, perverted our friendship back then. It all went to hell because of it. All of it. I’ve always wanted to think that it was your fault that we became such an ugly and vile thing, but…” Isa shrugged lightly, quickly lifting his gaze to look back at Lea, but he lost his nerve and let it fall down on a shot that he swiped and emptied.

   “If this game of yours is gonna work, you have to ask me questions,” Isa said. “Dr. Even asks me questions when he wants me to talk. It’s the only way I know what to say, so ask.”

   Isa looked to be bracing himself for questions he might only have heard in his head in moments of doubt. He took two deep breaths, closing his eyes as either a part of the bracing or to keep the room from spinning from all the shots he had downed like water. Lea couldn’t recall having seen Isa drink before.

   “Do you still have feelings for me?” Lea asked. He held an empty glass between his fingers.

   “Out of habit, maybe. I know I used to. Maybe. I don’t know.” Isa was speaking rapidly, divulging his answer to not have to hear it himself.

   “I had a crush on you, too,” Lea said soothingly.

   “Don’t patronize me,” Isa muttered, pulling his sleeves down his hands to rub his eyes.

   “Isa,”

   “I’ve seen how you are with people you have a crush on, Lea, so don’t lie. We’re supposed to be honest now, right? You’re not gonna make me feel better for being what I am by lying.”

   “What is it you think you are?” Lea asked, reminding himself to be patient.

   “A monster.”

   “You’re a monster for having feelings for me?”

   “My crowning moment was when I made you feel guilty for turning me down. Remember? After the Fall, you were eager to make it up to me. Anything to rid yourself from guilt, and so you began your descent into darkness. Regret and guilt is what’s kept us together until your 'saviors' came along.” Isa sighed and cleared his throat again. “The elixir is nice. What is it really?” Isa’s hand trembled as he took another shot that he finished as quickly as the others.

   “Scotch. You should probably slow down. You’re not meant to drink it like this.”

   “He’s old enough now, isn’t he?” Isa said instead, looking back at Lea at last. “It’s what kept you from acting on it, right? The age difference. Augustus said that you looked for him - Ventus - through every archive. 'There is something deviant about his obsession'," Isa barely held back a sardonic chuckle at quoting such an old memory. "Does he know?”

   Lea’s ears burned. It was his turn to look away. He couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed his mind and there was no denying that he knew who Isa was referring to. Roxas had been there through thick and thin, inspired Lea to not stray from the road of light. He didn’t take a single day with Roxas for granted. Though Lea’s attraction to him was fairly recent, he couldn’t deny that Roxas had quickly claimed a central part in his life. He thought he had succeeded in keeping it a secret. Isa’s question and the mention of a name Lea thought he would never get to hear from Isa again, had Lea stutter, cementing a belief Isa already had taken for a fact.

   This was as good a time as any to join in on the drinking.

   "I have another question," Isa said when Lea couldn't answer his previous ones. "How did you decide to commit suicide? I mean, when did you decide it? Was it easy?"

   “What?” Lea narrowed his eyes.

   “I remember the Dusks whispering about it after it happened. They crawled around the castle. Followed me around. Maybe Xemnas put them up to it, or maybe they despised me even then. They liked to talk about you and your spectacular exit. You saved the Keyblade-wielder on the off-chance you'd get to see your friends again. I’ve always wondered, was it easy?”

   “Isa, I don’t like where this is going.” Lea took a deep, heavy breath. What answer could he give? The truth? That he had preferred death a thousand times rather than having to deal with Xemnas or Saïx again? That the thought of fighting for Saïx in a world where Roxas didn’t exist had made his stomach turn with disgust and made his limbs heavy as lead with grief? Lea busied himself with a shot while Isa looked at him knowingly, until Lea finally spoke. 

   “What are you… let’s not talk about stuff like that. You’re sensible, to things and…” Lea moved to sit on his knees. It would make it easier to reach forward, to at least brush his fingers against Isa’s hands and offer some sort of comfort that would cover for what he couldn’t say.

   “Stay on your side,” Isa warned.  He frowned. Disappointed, he crossed his arms and looked at the floor. “It’s best for everyone involved, I think, if we don’t see each other again after this. Tell Dilan to send the workers over in seven days or less, and go and be with your friends. I want to be normal, Lea, and I don’t think I can be if you’re around.”

   “What’s normal?” Lea challenged.

   “Not us.”

   "I can't leave, Isa."

   "You can when you hold your end of the bargain."

   "That's not what I meant."

   Isa glared at him.

   "What do you mean then?"

   "I think I may have feelings for you. I'm not sure what they are but –"

   "I'll tell you what they are and save us some time. Pity. Guilt. Disgust. Resentment. It's what it's always been only you want to call it something else."

   "Isa –"

   "Think hard about what it feels like when you're with people you like and compare, Lea. It's not what you think it is."

   "How would you know what I think?"

   "Because it's what it's always been! You look at me and see corruption. You think you can save me just like you did then. When you killed yourself, did I cross your mind at all?"

   Lea fumbled for words but found none.

   "If you hadn't found out about Dr. Even's diary, would you have stayed, Lea?" Isa asked, tiredly and sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just seven days, so… let’s get along until then.”

   A couple of shots later, they were both lying down on each side of the doorway. Lea lay on his side, Isa lay on his stomach, his face turned to Lea. Odd and unanswered question came and went, lost in sudden giggle fits and awkward silences. They were drunk, Isa more than Lea.  
   Isa played absentmindedly with a glass that had fallen over and he looked over at the empty bottle.

   “Did you say there was more?” Isa asked, his speech slurred. “Go get it. This bottle’s empty.”

   “Isa?”

   “What?”

   “I looked for you. After I came back. I looked everywhere. But when I found you - I was too late.”

   Isa said nothing. Lea only got the sound of the glass sliding against the wooden floor in response.

   “Remember that summer we spent with the reindeer?” Lea inched closer slowly until he knocked over another glass. “I was scared shitless almost every night and you held my hand through it all, sharing old stories, and the song you used to hum, remember that?”

   “Frank reminded me.”

   “I had a crush on you before that. Long before. Some time after I met you, I was at a birthday party. We played truth or dare toward the end of it and I remember that Augustus wanted to ask me a question that would make a girl I liked happy, and he asked me ‘Lea, who do you want to grow old with?”. Without thinking, I said your name, in front of everybody.”

   “It doesn’t matter now, does it? We’ve nearly killed each other. Just these past months, how many times haven’t you thought of me as your enemy? You fill every moment of silence by talking about Roxas -”

   “I don’t,” Lea cut in.

   “Yes, you do. And he seems like a good friend. He does. He’s a bright presence. Everything Xehanort tried to kill is there. The beacon of hope.” Isa put the glass he had been toying with upright to somehow stress his point. “What I am… Cid said it best when he said that possessed or not, I’m what Xehanort left behind. I’m what’s left of him. I make monsters of good men; I did that to you.”

   Slowly, Lea reached his hand out, knocking glasses over. He ran the tip of his fingers across Isa’s cheek and watched him close his eyes at the touch. They were prone to self-torture. After years in the dark, in solitude and isolation, it became a knee-jerk reaction, Lea knew that now. It made moving over to Isa’s side of the doorway less of a gamble when most evidence indicated that Isa was the furthest thing from over Lea.

   Lea turned Isa over onto his back gently, nuzzling his jawline while he felt Isa drunkenly debate whether to push Lea away or not. The clenching and unclenching of Isa’s hands over Lea’s chest turned into a rub instead of an attempt to push. Lea grew bolder, finding the courage to look into Isa’s half-closed eyes.

   “Isa, are you drunk?”

   “No,” Isa said with a small nod.

   Lea chuckled and rolled them over to their side, Isa’s back to the doorway and Lea’s arms tightly around Isa. He bumped his forehead against Isa’s softly to keep Isa from closing his eyes.

   “Let me stay,” Lea said in a whisper.

   “Were you not listening?”

   “I was, but… I want to be with you, Isa, and find out what this is. I want to help you get better, get this farm thing going - I wanna take back everything that was taken from us because I still want it. I hope you want it, too.”

   Lea couldn’t feel his heart race past the buzz that made his body ten times heavier. He could only partially concentrate on Isa’s sleepy face and the pine trees on Isa’s shirt that Lea could see in the periphery of his eye. This talk had merely been the tip of an iceberg as deep as the sea itself, but at least they were dealing with it.

-x-

A thousand woodpeckers attacked the inside of Isa’s brain the second the light outside lit up his room. Had it not been for the paralyzing shrill pinning his limbs to the bed, Isa would have cursed the morning sun at the top of his lungs. Instead he settled with burying his face into a nearby pillow that smelled of lavender soap. Last night came rushing back to Isa with an equally paralyzing shrill of the hangover of ten grown men, and this time a small curse made it past Isa’s lips.

   Much had been said, more had been drunk, and Isa’s memory was foggy. He remembered laughing, but also the pang in his chest that was such a common occurrence in his interactions with Lea. Leftover evidence remained of tears cried, and Isa remembered crying, curled up on his bed, weeping like a small boy with no comfort in the world. The headache was likely half due to that, but the other half was definitely the scotch’s doing.

   Isa forced himself to sit up and lift his legs over the side of the bed to feel the cool, wooden floor under his feet. The familiarity was pleasant, enough for Isa to wiggle his toes while he tried to shy away from the light making it through his small bedroom window. Lea had left a can of water next to the bed and a note that said ‘DRINK!’ on top of it. Isa didn’t need the urging. He remembered enough of his grandfather’s hangovers to know that water was a good antidote against them. The can stood almost empty a few minutes later. Isa used some of the leftover water to splash his face.

   Of all the things that had been said, Lea’s hope for a future together rang the clearest. In part, it would be the easiest thing to forget. Isa had been drunk at the time of that confession, but the sincerity of it had struck deep enough that the words had hung onto the edges of his consciousness until now, when he could think about them, dissect them and find faults in their combined, flimsy, logic. It would’ve been so easy to forget.

   Isa wiggled his toes again, his eyes caught by the dark skirting board. There were a million reasons to walk away from the illusion Lea was offering him, and yet every fiber of his body was screaming for him to not turn away from this. Isa wanted to live. He wanted to know something other than what life had shown him up until now. Isa was certain that they wouldn’t last, but even a few days was more than Isa could have hoped for.

   Slowly, Isa rose to his feet, swaying slightly by the sudden height difference while grabbing his head so its weight wouldn’t force him back down on the bed. The house smelled of food. Isa walked down the stairs and managed to not trip and fall. Lea was in the kitchen, reading through one of Ienzo’s recipes while the food cooked in two pots over fire. The image had Isa freeze where he stood. The colors, the sense of belonging, of being home, and in the midst of all of it was Lea; it was a sight of dreams.

   “Hey,” Lea looked up from the notebook and straight at Isa. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other until he took a few steps closer. He frowned then, the morning greeting stuck in his mouth at what must have been a sad sight. “Isa, are you okay?”

   “I’ve been thinking,” Isa said, surprised by how thick his voice was and the warm tears running down his cold cheeks. “About what you said yesterday.”

   “Yeah?” Lea interjected nervously.

   “I want the same - so… if you were serious about it - I… I’m, I’d like to be with you, too… for however long...” Isa cleared his throat stubbornly, but the lump of tears didn’t want to go away.

   There wasn’t an immediate reaction. Lea stared back at him, moving his lips as though he wanted to say something, but there wasn’t a sound. For a second, Isa thought that maybe he had gone deaf from the hangover, and just as he was about to ask if he had said anything of what he thought he had said, Lea pulled him in for a tight hug.

   Lea let out a sigh of relief. The warmth of his breath tickled Isa’s neck and sent shivers down his spine. This was just like the time in Isa’s cell when Isa had walked across the small coffee table to straddle Lea’s lap. Lea’s reunion hug, only this time, Isa could enjoy it along with him, allowing himself to melt against Lea.

   “I’ve missed you, Isa,” Lea whispered against the shell of Isa’s ear. “I’ve missed you so much.”

   Lea broke the hug to cup Isa’s face with his hands and gently wipe the tears away. He smiled at Isa reassuringly as if he could hear the doubts in Isa’s mind. To drown them out, Lea placed a kiss on Isa’s forehead, another four kisses down the bridge of his nose, one on either side of his mouth, and a dozen on his lips.

   It worked.   


	22. Doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nsfw.

* * *

Barely a day after they finished ploughing the fields, the first snow fell. The temperature was still above tepid, the snow was going to melt before the next snowfall, and Isa hoped that it would give them enough time to manure the fields before winter hit them full force.

     The tough work ahead was, however, the furthest thing from Lea’s mind. The perpetually amazed look he had in his eyes when Isa went over the plans for the project just didn’t add up. Isa had already drawn a sketch of the way he was going to partition the field to get the best of it, even for their first harvest. To make sense of his plan, he would talk about it out loud, and in these one-sided discussions, Isa began to figure out what lay behind the peculiar twinkle in Lea’s eyes. It was the occasional lick of his lips that tattled about much different thoughts, thoughts that had nothing to do with farming.

     Inexperience made it difficult to know how to best react to Lea’s inability to keep his hands to himself. There had barely been any space between them since the morning they had decided to explore their romantic feelings for each other. Each touch was casual; a hand on his arm, shoulder, waist, like a familiar dance. But Isa had forgotten the routine in a past life he had yet to reclaim. To go from having a metaphoric force field around himself to almost constant touching was a big change, and a strain on Isa’s heart. At this rate, Isa wouldn’t be surprised if he had a heart attack the way his heart fluttered and seemingly changed rhythm at Lea’s touches. An overflowing warmth had his skin flush. He could no longer wear his pine-tree sweater to bed. Lea had offered him a light, knee-length night-shirt that he had gotten in Agrabah. Isa had no choice but to accept now that he shared his bed with Lea.

     Isa had woken to Lea closely pressed against his back, arms around him loosely, his warm breath against the nape of his neck, and their legs tangled together. A heart attack was definitely imminent if this was how he was going to be waking up from now on.

     “Slept well?” Lea asked at hearing Isa’s breathing change.

     “Mm-hmm,” Isa gulped.

     “No nightmares?”

     Isa shook his head and tried to hold his breath when Lea leaned in to place a kiss at the base of his ear, placing a hand on Isa’s hip.

     “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to wake up next to you like this. Is it okay if I touch you for a while?” Lea’s eagerness had his voice break a little.

     Isa nodded. His mouth too dry to say anything. White noise buzzed in his ears with equal amount anticipation and embarrassment. Holding his breath didn’t work for long when Lea’s fervency showed in the kisses he planted on Isa’s neck, slowly running his hand down Isa’s bare thigh, pressing tightly, rubbing.

     “Lea…” The breathless moan that escaped him was enough to make him want to sink through the ground and never emerge again. The effect of it was completely different on Lea. He got Isa onto his back, pausing for a few seconds to watch Isa blush, his chest heaving. Isa had to close his eyes to not reach for a pillow to hide behind. He could only think of two other times when he had felt as exposed as now. Both times had been with Lea.

     One hand rounded Isa’s thigh, the other brushed stray hairs from Isa’s face.

     “You’re beautiful.” Lea leaned in over Isa, a smile apparent in his voice.

     “You’re ruthless,” Isa breathed.

     Lea’s soft tracing of Isa’s lips with his own had Isa look up at him through his eyelashes. He ran his hands up Lea’s shoulders and neck until his hands disappeared into Lea’s soft hair. Isa pulled Lea in close to kiss him properly and drown out the soft moans passing his lips every time Lea rolled his hips. He would’ve been ashamed by how quickly he reached release had it not taken him by surprise. The white noise in his ears had grown thicker. His body felt so heavy he was certain he was sinking into the mattress. Without Lea’s sweet kisses, Isa would have fallen back asleep. Lea was humming his name, chuckling with much amusement.

     “That good?”

     “I don’t… usually…” Isa tried to shake his head when stringing sentences together became too difficult. He couldn’t tell how well he did because seconds later, Isa fell back asleep.

     Hours had gone by when he awoke to the smell of a tardy breakfast. Saturday, he thought, he didn’t have to go back to Radiant Garden until tomorrow night. For a moment, he heard the voice of his grandfather, and then the sharp voice of his mother. Isa forced his eyes open. Frantically, he gripped at the inside of his duvet. As much as he searched, he couldn’t find the wet spot he knew had to be there. The dream had left evidence behind, and they would know with just one look. His chest clenched into an unpleasant knot. Lea’s touches were still ghosts on Isa’s skin. His mother would divulge his secret to Nilas. She was going to tell the world what a twisted deviant he was. _Kill them first._ Isa sat up with a gasp. The voices dispersed and realization dawned on him slowly; it hadn’t been a dream, had it?  
  
     Doubt welled up in him like geyser, bringing along the much familiar sense of guilt that so often accompanied these acts. It was a deeply rooted notion in him that sex and anything remotely like it was a cardinal sin. He had used his body to commit atrocities, it had no place in a lover’s embrace.

     Isa felt for the decapitator but found only naked skin in its place. If there wasn’t a heavy cross to hold him in place, what then would keep him from going down old roads and commit similar mistakes? What would suppress his egoistic nature that had turned a conflict of worlds, of darkness and light, into a personal vendetta against everything that reminded him of past injustices?

     Quick, light steps came from the stairs and down the hallway. Lea ran into the room and looked around, panic making his eyes wide. He didn’t find what he sought, instead, he sat down by Isa on the bed. Isa had no recollection of screaming, or making any sound that would have brought Lea up here. He sat frozen, his hands clutching at his chest to calm a frenzied heart. Lea placed his hands over Isa’s, guiding them away from Isa’s chest to hold them gently and kiss his fingers.

     “What’s wrong?” The concern in Lea’s voice was foreign to Isa for fragmented seconds. He had to blink a couple of times to test this reality before he caved in any further. When Lea remained near, Isa giggled nervously and breathed with soft, frantic sobs.

     “I don’t know,” Isa answered quietly. “I’ve woken up so many times thinking it was over, that Xehanort is gone and that you don’t despise me anymore. I’ve had dreams like this. But they’re always just dreams and the punishment cruel, as it should be, no? These feelings are wrong, aren’t they? Lea, am I making you do something vile?”

     “It’s not vile, and you’re not making me. Isa.” Lea leaned in close and gently pressed his forehead against Isa’s. “Take deep breaths. I’m here.”

     Instead of taking calming breaths, Isa pressed his lips against Lea’s, kissed him clumsily until Lea cupped his face gently and guided him into a slow pace of long, languid kisses. Shivers broke down Isa’s back and arms. Lea had ignited a fire inside his chest. Years of denied yearning dictated Isa’s every move. Dream or no dream, he could no longer hold back. Should he wake up in a damp cell full of prisoners whose only wish was to eradicate him, he would want to see Lea behind closed eyes, watch him with the same tenderness he could feel in Lea’s caresses.

     Lea gave him much more than that. A night sky of stars lit up behind Isa’s eyelids at the workings of Lea’s warm mouth. Each breath came with a wanton sound; pleas, encouragement, need. The physical body had been a source of pain and weakness, a hindrance amongst many to achieve complete control over obsolete emotions Isa thought he would never put to good use. But now, his body stood alight with ecstasy that hit him in overwhelming waves.

     “Not the shirt,” Isa murmured when Lea rolled up the oversized nightshirt up Isa’s abdomen with the intention of undressing him altogether. The scars Isa hid, even from himself, were ugly reminders of what he was. At a time like this, when adoration softened Lea’s beautiful face, the scars should be kept in obscurity.

     Lea made no other attempt to remove it. Instead he gave Isa a quick kiss and whispered, “I’ll be right back.”

     Lea stumbled out to the hallway as he struggled to get his pants off and search for whatever he needed to find. It took only seconds. Isa feared it would be enough to make him doubt, but the recent memory of Lea’s mouth on him kept him warm and occupied until Lea came back. He tossed a few things onto the bed before moving over him, seating himself between Isa’s legs and leaning forward for another kiss. Isa closed his eyes tightly as Lea took his hands and had Isa touch him. Lea had undressed. He was as naked as he had been when he ran out to face the dark portal. Soft, unblemished, pure. Every drop of blood that had once tainted Lea wasn’t his sin to bear anymore.

     “Isa,” Lea called for his attention softly. “This’ll be a little cold.” Lea squeezed a slippery and silky-smooth substance onto Isa’s hand. With a gentle tug, Lea guided Isa’s hand to where he wanted it. Isa tugged it back. Lea tightened his grip but didn’t force it.

     “Touch me, Isa,” he beckoned. Lea spoke in a tender tone, the one that could sneak past agonizing memories taking turns at his sanity. The soft moan that passed Lea’s lips once Isa closed his trembling hand around him made his heart skip a beat. Slowly, Isa moved his hand, breath caught in his throat at the heat and slippery friction.

    A slip of his thumb over the head had Lea rock his hips against him, a low groan muffled against Isa’s neck. Isa did it again and again, mesmerized by the reaction. Every kiss was deeper, lasted longer until Lea moved Isa’s hand away and sat back. The last rays of sun made it through the window, leaving streaks of light on Lea as he fiddled with something. Isa could only stare, breathless, hand still warm, Lea’s voice still in his ears, entwined with the beats of his heart.

     “Ready?” Lea asked and smiled a smile Isa wished to taste.

     He nodded, without thinking, and drew a gasp at the slick finger that slid into him. Slowly, surely, it moved, touched and pressed. He didn’t protest. Whatever Lea was willing to give, he would take. The stretch at the second finger stung, but Lea found ways to soothe it as he made promises of pleasure. He curved his fingers, pressed harder, taking cues from how desperately Isa clung onto him. Isa’s toes curled. A muffled groan escaped him. He rounded his lower back as he dropped his head to the side, eyes closed tightly as Lea found the place of a thousand stars.

     With his other hand, Lea cupped Isa’s face and leaned in close, ghosting over his lips.

     “Look at me, Isa,” he demanded in a hushed whisper.

     Isa could only hold Lea’s gaze for a few seconds. The heat building in his lower abdomen made it difficult to focus on anything else. Isa gripped at Lea’s shoulders weakly, kissed him as he trembled with need.

     “Please, Lea…” Isa gasped as he tried to lift his upper body to touch Lea again but fell back against the bed with a shudder at the firm strokes inside him. “Please…”

     Isa ran his hand down Lea’s chest, putting one arm around his neck for support. Gently, he closed his hand around Lea’s length again, shivering at the heat of it.

     “Please,” Isa whispered against the shell of Lea’s ear and laid back down slowly.

     The brief moment of emptiness came and went quickly. Lea slid into him in with one swift move of his hips. Lea’s hot breaths against his jawline reminded Isa to breathe and to ease the grip he had of Lea’s waist with his thighs. Lea trembled with restraint. He kissed and suckled at Isa’ neck impatiently until he couldn’t wait anymore.

     At his return to Radiant Garden, in his first moment of lucidity, Isa had vowed to never lose himself to anyone again. Now, he could barely tell where he ended and Lea began. There was no way of telling whose heartbeat he felt palpitate through his veins, and Isa was just as mesmerized by the erasure of bounds between them as Lea was. Lea groaned Isa’s name between quick thrusts, occasionally slowing down for long, languid movements while he tried to catch his breath against Isa’s lips.

     The stars had never been brighter as they were then on the shared night sky they had created for each other. And finally, Isa thought, there was something pleasant that bound them together.

-x-

The sun had nearly set when Lea woke up for the second time that day. His stomach growled to remind him that there was a cold, half done breakfast waiting downstairs. The room wasn’t his own, he realized, as he propped himself up on his elbows. This was Nilas’ house, Isa’s bedroom. The sound of a dark portal materializing had brought him here. Lea sat up slowly and glanced at Isa. He laid close, his forehead had been against Lea’s shoulder.

     They were moving too fast. Lea rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with one hand and reached for his shirt with the other. He had at least gotten his underwear back on before falling asleep.  This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, Lea admonished himself. There were still a lot of things to consider before diving into this. He had thought of none of them when he had suggested getting drunk or when he had crossed the first line to speak of old memories in new words and wrap them in promises he didn’t know if he could keep. “If you were serious,” Isa had said. “For however long,” he had added as though he knew Lea might have spoken out of turn. A sliver of regret made itself known at not having explicitly mentioned that maybe he wasn’t as serious as he would have wanted. And yet, here he was, in Isa’s old bedroom, tangled in his sheets for the second time that day.

     Could he be blamed for his doubts when they had gone from nothing to everything in less than two days? Lea crept out of bed without waking Isa and went downstairs to see if the breakfast could be salvaged. His doubts weren’t to say that he didn’t want to be with Isa anymore. It was the order of events that had him worried, and though he didn’t even want to think about involving Roxas in this, the thought was inevitable.

     There were few who despised Isa as much as Roxas did. To find out that Lea had liaisons this intimate with Isa could be enough to cause a rift between them. Lea couldn’t let that happen. He had made a promise to Roxas; it was one he intended to keep.

     Isa’s breakfast could be reheated, but Lea’s eggs were rubber. Lea tossed his breakfast in the bin to start anew. The skillets and pans in Nilas’ cupboards were old and heavy, but still usable and valuable. Iron wasn’t easy to come by these day, and these skillets were probably nothing but iron. Lea had seen fights break out between groups of people scavenging in the rubble of fallen churches and other buildings for valuables to sell to anyone who could afford them. Finding one of these there would be a blessing and a curse.

     Cooking in silence gave space to thoughts that weren’t related to the kitchen or cooking at all. His mind wandered and settled to the fresh memories of Isa’s heated voice, of prideful Isa shamelessly _pleading_ through gasps to be taken. It wasn’t what a novice would do, a taunting voice had said, and the truth of it didn’t bother Lea as much as the implications. There had always been rumors circulating about Saïx and his bigot ways when it came to emotions and how Nobodies should relate to them. It came with his job title and his incriminatingly close cooperation with Xemnas. The rumors had been crude jokes at first about Xemnas having it in for younger men, but focus had quickly shifted to Saïx, the loyal dog who would always have his legs spread for the Superior. Lea had ignored the rumors at first, but there couldn’t be smoke without a fire and the rumors started to make sense. Everything Saïx did or say became increasingly grating when it became clear to Axel that Saïx was doing Xemnas’ bidding all the while panting after Xemnas like a dog in heat.

     “Shit.” Lea put the knife down on the cutting board to look at the cut on his finger. He had chopped the kale to mush. The cut on his forefinger wasn’t deep, but stung and bled. The sun had long since set and the only light in the kitchen was the smolders inside the oven. Lea sucked on his finger and went to look for a candlestick. He found an old, three-armed candlestick inside a cupboard with stumps of candles still in place.

     “Lea?” Isa called from the doorway to the small dining room between the kitchen and the diner.

     “In here.”

     Isa had found a candle of his own. He held it out to let Lea light his candles and finish looking for a band-aid. The air thickened in the room. Lea had never been around long enough to have to deal with anyone after sex. Isa waited patiently for Lea to walk back to the stove. The light revealed Isa’s rosy cheeks and damp bangs.

     “Why’s your hair wet?”

     “I took a quick bath. I, um… I was sweaty…” Isa cleared his throat softly. “You left the soap, so I used some. It smells really nice.”

     Lea put the candlestick on the counter. There were still many things to consider before diving head first into whatever this was, but again, Lea thought of none when he could just as easily, gently, bring Isa closer by a soft tug at the sides of the white night shirt and nuzzle his neck. He inhaled the scent of Isa and the lavender soap combined. The silence that surrounded them amplified every change in their breathing, every hitch, gulp. Lea listened closely for any of them. Today he had been hearing them often. Isa tensed for control, but managed none in favor of anticipation. Had Xemnas known these sides of Isa, too?

     “It does smell nice,” Lea said at last and went back to finish his scrambled eggs with mashed kale. Isa let out a shaky sigh. Skittish as he was, you would think Isa was new to this altogether.

     At last they sat down to have breakfast. Lea would have to lie on the reports he was keeping on Isa’s food intake and general health for today unless he wanted a scolding from Ienzo. The demands were very clear, as were the guidelines for how to write the reports in the special notebook.

     “I was thinking of keeping reindeer again. They’d be a good source of meat, fur, utilities. They’d work the land and produce manure.”

     “Aren’t they a lot of work?” Lea had a mouthful of scrambled eggs and ignored the mention of manure.

     “Yeah, but I’d start small. A herd of five or six and work from there. I have books upstairs on herding. I’ve looked through them and most of what they say sounds familiar. The knowledge isn’t in my head, it’s in my muscle memory, and I really think it would be good for the farming.”

     “You want me to tell Ienzo that?” Lea smiled softly. Even in the dim candle light the determination in Isa’s eyes was clear. It was a hundred times better than the resignation that had dulled Isa’s eyes.

     “Yes.”

     “Okay.”

     They locked eyes, a strikingly familiar occurrence tied to the memories of this house. Only they had always looked away then, frightened that anyone would take one look at them and know. They had done the same while in the Organization. So rarely did they look at each other that they ended up as strangers. Isa was first to look away. He had a breakfast to finish and a blush to hide.

     “Candlelight dinner. You think this would count as our first date?” Lea asked teasingly.

     “The fruit?”

     The genuine confusion in Isa’s voice kept Lea from laughing at what could have been a cute joke. Again, Lea thought of Isa’s skittishness; his every reaction being as though he was experiencing this for the first time. To think of a fruit he had never even heard of until recently over Lea’s intended meaning, was it possible to be so far removed from normalcy?

     “No, I mean a date, like going out on a romantic get-together with roses and chocolates and dancing. A date.”

     “Oh, right. Yeah. I get it. That makes sense.”

     As adolescents, neither of them had had the chance to date many. Lea had known who he was going to marry and Nilas had been tasked to find a suitable bride for Isa. Isa had been preoccupied with work and school back then with a limited amount of female acquaintances. Lea found it hard to imagine that Xemnas would have taken anyone on a date.

     “Let’s just say this doesn’t count as our first date. We’ll go on one tomorrow.”

     “Lea, I can’t –”

     “It won’t be in Radiant Garden,” Lea said reassuringly. “Trust me.”

     “I’m wanted everywhere. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave. This can be a date. It’s sweet, just like a date.”

     Lea chuckled.

     “I know I’ve said this before, but I can reinforce it now. I’ll protect you. Should anyone find out who you are, we’ll teleport right back. It’ll be fun, I promise. We can go shopping for reindeer.”

     Isa smiled. “Did you have somewhere special in mind?”

    Lea nearly said Twilight Town and counted out loud the reasons why. There wasn’t a single reason without Roxas’ name in it. He stopped himself before he could say anything and hummed instead as he pondered about a good place for a first date.

     “I hear Halloween Town is nice this time of year.”

     “Lea,” Isa sighed, amused.

     “No? I thought you liked Halloween Town. How about Agrabah? A nice picnic in an oasis. We’ll have dates for dessert…” Lea found himself in need of a deep breath. The candles were burning too hot or maybe he was wearing too much. Agrabah was going to be a great place for a first date, if only he could get himself to focus on thinking of things to do instead of gawking at Isa for the delightful giggle he couldn’t hold back at the silly word game.

     “Sounds better than Halloween Town,” Isa said.

     “They don’t have reindeer though. We could look at camels instead. They smell almost just as much as reindeer. Crap twice as much.”

     “But they’re not as cute. And they don’t have crowns.”

     “That’s shallow.”

     After breakfast, Isa went upstairs to fetch the bundle of books that had once been in Mr. Ferris’ library to read more about herding, make notes and revisit old memories. A soft, subtle smile was on his lips all the while he sat curled up with the books on the couch Lea had stolen. He was rediscovering the life that had been taken from him. Every second spent here was one that reminded Isa of the love he had held for the surroundings he had grown up in, for the traditions Nilas had taught him. It had been one of the most frustrating and attractive qualities about him.

     Neither Lea nor Isa had had a choice for what to do with their lives. Isa was to take after Nilas and upkeep a dying culture. Lea was to take after his father, a position of power, and uphold the family name, show the world that his parents had done everything right and that God was smiling upon them. Isa’s life had had a purpose; Lea had been suffocating. With just being near, Isa had made it easier to breathe all the while highlighting the prison walls closing in on Lea. The tables had been turned for a long time, long enough for Lea to nip the creeping jealousy in the bud at watching Isa settle back into a life he would have chosen over Lea had he known what their future would hold.

     The candles were burning out and it was one of the things Lea had forgot to stock up on. Bed was the only option when it soon would be too dark to see anything. Sleeping arrangements were still unclear. They were supposed to sleep in separate rooms; Isa in his bedroom and Lea in Nilas’, but that was not how it had come to pass. With the notion that they were moving too fast still a present worry for Lea, he thought it best to sleep in his own room for the night.

     “Good night, Isa,” Lea said as he passed Isa by to get to his own bedroom.

     Isa grabbed a hold of Lea’s wrist, his grip gentle, hesitant.

     “Where are you going?” Isa cleared his throat softly and shambled closer. “I’m not good at this yet, I know, but… I think that maybe with practice… I could be.”

     “I’m not very good at relationships either, Isa. I –” Lea paused abruptly. Isa held Lea’s hand and tugged him closer, led him back down the small, narrow hallway to his bedroom door where it dawned on Lea, what Isa was saying.

    A small ray of moonlight made it into the hallway, past the half-open bedroom door, and illuminated Isa’s slender fingers around Lea’s wrists.

     “You don’t want to?” Isa asked.

     Isa’s soft, shaky exhale broke Lea’s resolve to take a step back, analyze and reconsider. He held Isa close, his hands rounding Isa’s hips when he rocked up against him, pinning him against the doorframe. They shared a kiss so deep Lea had Isa’s breath in his lungs.

     Isa was easily stirred. Arousal made him trusting. He followed Lea’s lead blindly with small attempts at finding ways to throw Lea off his confident exploration with one of his own. Isa succeeded at finding a sensitive spot, one at the base of Lea’s ears that he took advantage of, but Isa had yet to learn to multitask in moments of pleasure. Instead, he settled for Lea’s languid kisses.

     “We should talk more,” Lea said as soon as he broke the kiss for air.

     “Now?”

     The disappointment in Isa’s voice set a fire inside of Lea. Isa yearned for him, it was all Lea heard, and it was all he needed.

    The trip to bed was short in distance but lengthy in time. Kissing Isa made Lea a sore multitasker, too. Every small noise hypnotized Lea. Every whole-hearted response that brought them closer, was an unspoken promise. Once together, joined in flesh, Lea marveled at the obscure sight of Isa in the dim moonlight, his lower back lifted off the bed with every thrust. His thighs were warm against Lea’s chest, his lips quivered around moans and desperate murmurs for Lea. There wasn’t a moment in Lea’s life that he could remember being as immersed as he was now.

     As they lay in the aftermath, spent, sated, Lea found himself staring at the ceiling, still breathing hard. The wind outside whistled through the tree crowns. The serenity brought back memories of being in unknown terrain and finding comfort in Isa’s presence. Perhaps it was nothing more than nostalgia that had Lea reach for Isa’s hand, but as he twined his fingers around Isa’s, he smiled softly to himself and fell asleep to an innocent fluttering in his chest he had only known as a child.

-x-

When the first rays of sun lit up the room and woke Lea from a heavy sleep, he kept his eyes closed. Isa had his arm across Lea’s chest, nose pressed against Lea’s shoulder. Back in the Organization days, Lea would have had a bit of trouble breathing with Isa’s arm on his chest for any extended period, but Isa’s arm muscles weren’t as prominent as they had been, or maybe Lea had just grown stronger.

     “Isa, wake up. You gotta eat.”

     “Not yet,” Isa mumbled.

     “Yes, yet,” Lea smiled. “We can’t stay in bed all day.”

     “Why not?”

     “Because,” Lea began, sliding his fingertips over Isa’s arm. “We have to replenish our fluids, first and foremost, and eat if we’re gonna walk in the sun, looking for camels. You didn’t eat enough yesterday.”

     “ _Arvá_.”

     Lea laughed and rolled to his side to place a kiss on Isa’s forehead.

     “It’s sunny outside, and I was talking about Agrabah. I’m gonna go down for breakfast. I hope you join me before I leave for the city to pick up some things. I don’t wanna eat alone.”

     Lea kissed Isa’s forehead again and placed another kiss on the tip of his nose before he snuck out of bed to get dressed. He didn’t think Isa would come down willingly. He was preparing a tray to bring up to Isa when Isa showed up at the doorway to the kitchen, his hair a mess and sleep still weighing on his eyelids.

     “Will you be long?” Isa asked before Lea could greet him.

     “No, I’m just going in for some groceries. I’ll be back by the time you’ve woken up properly.”

     “Okay.” Isa held back a sigh and tried to brush his fingers through tangles. “Good. If you see Ienzo, could you ask him about the reindeer? And the manure. And if you see Dilan – I wrote a small list.” Isa held out a small piece of paper. “Just in case you see them.”

     “Sure, I’ll ask. You should be resting though, even if I run into Ienzo or Dilan, you won’t get an answer until you’ve gotten your week’s rest, Isa.”

     “I know, but I want it to be done by then. Paperwork takes a lot of time.”

     Isa turned to go back upstairs.

     “Hey, breakfast!” Lea called after him, but Isa had already gone into his bedroom.

     


	23. Confession

* * *

The streets were empty when Lea walked through the large gates into the city. Shops were closed, curtains and shutters were pulled over windows, even the guards that were supposed to walk by every now and then were gone. Lea hadn’t seen the city like this since before the former Nobodies and Heartless returned. He shivered at the eerie memory and made his way to the castle. Soon it became apparent where everyone had gone. The chanting was faint at first, muffled by the buildings, and Lea was distracted by the stomped and crumpled fliers on the ground amongst other trash. He picked up a flyer as the chanting got louder and read its contents.

FIGHT THE SYSTEM THAT PROTECTS THE MASS MURDERER

ROYAL PLAZA 11:30 AM

WE WANT JUSTICE!

     Lea threw the flyer aside and ran down the narrow alleyways to quickly get to the Royal Plaza. The chanting of the hundreds of people that had gathered in front of the castle gate was deafening. A wall of soldiers stood between the masses and the castle, their spears ready should anyone in the crowd dare to overstep. Protesters held up signs. There were two big crosses sticking out from the crowd. On them two messy dolls. One had caught fire. With the black clothing, the blue hair and the large X on the dolls’ faces, there was no mistaking who the crowd wanted crucified.

     These people had been Nobodies, Heartless. Their hearts had been torn from their body and their essence used to fight a war that no one had wanted to participate in, but as involved as they had been, none of them had the facts. They didn’t know how it all had begun, what forces lay behind, and that very few of those closest to Xehanort had been part of any of this willingly. Lea’s stomach turned at the insistent chanting and the random shouts demanding Isa’s blood on the streets. They equated the suffering and death of one man as justice. Isa had been forced into this as much as any one of them, maybe even to a greater extent. He had been kidnapped as a child, brainwashed beyond comprehension and left with a skewed worldview that had eaten at him every day for over ten years.

     Lea could have grabbed anyone that came too close and beaten their teeth out mercilessly until their face was nothing but a gaping hole. The soft jingle of the keychain hanging out of his pocket reminded him why he shouldn’t. Teleporting into the castle felt like a betrayal. He could have stayed, said something to correct them all, held at least the slightest bit of hope that the people he had helped save would listen and find it in them to understand that this issue wasn’t as easily solved as they would want it to be. The words he wanted to say got caught in his throat, and once he found himself looking at a castle wall, he took a deep breath for every breath he had skipped to not scream out loud.

     He stood outside Cid’s office. The strong smell of grease and oil was one Lea would never be able to associate with the castle surroundings. As soon as he had calmed himself, Lea knocked on the door.

     “Come in,” Cid barked.

    He stood over a bicycle he had put upside down. The tires were gone and replaced with a smudged, thin chain that Cid had tied to another, equally greased down and smudged machine.

     “Well, well, well. You ain’t loyal to no one, are you? It’s been, what, a few days since you left and you’ve already decided to break the deal you made with the devil?”

     “I’m here for supplies, and to talk to Ienzo. Is he still at the hospital?”

     “Now more than ever.” Cid took the cigarette he had balancing on his ear and lit it to take a deep and long drag. “People don’t seem to understand how the disease spreads. Their little spectacle out there will probably put a third of them in our already overflowing hospital wing. What’d you want him for? Is that friend of yours already asking for stuff? The treasury, perhaps?” Cid chuckled sardonically. "Careful, Lea. Give 'em a hand and they'll take your arm. Or in this case, Radiant Garden's collective arm."

     "And Dilan?" Lea glared at Cid.

     "Did you not see the shitstorm taking place out there? Does it bother you at all that our city that we've both wept and bled for has been put on its head because the Devil's coalition is hellbent on taking over?"

     "You've got access to Isa's files. Read them if you wanna understand. I just wanna know if Dilan is around."

     "They wanna bring Kairi into this mess, you know. Remind people that we had something good going with King Ansem and that we could have it again with his granddaughter as a front figure. That sound alright with you, Lea? To put the burdens of this city on a young girl like her again?"

     Lea’s air of indifference melted away at once.

     “What?”

     “I was against the idea. Most of us were, obviously, but given the situation we’re in, what else could we do?” Cid let out the smoke through his nostrils like an angry bull. “We can’t keep going like this. We’ve lost control to your old pals. She’s not coming alone, though. Sora was supposed to accompany her, but he’s held up elsewhere, meaning Roxas will come instead. Aqua was supposed to come instead of Sora, but she just ain’t ready to face all of this.”

     “Roxas is coming back? Here? When?” Lea broke a cold sweat. Roxas had never been sick. Cid had said that at least a third of the people protesting would catch the disease by just standing close to each other. “When is Kairi coming? If you could just schedule it in a couple of days, I could be the one accompanying her. And, y’know, she’s very capable of defending herself… she fought alongside us.”

     “Front figure, Lea. That means she s’gotta play a role where she reinforces a system that leads the people to believe that we know what we're doing and that things are like they always have been _and_ that they don’t need to worry. She can’t be walking around, fighting off the nutters that’ll inevitably be there. She needs bodyguards, representation from the Keyblade-wielders, army, Royal Guards, police and the Restoration Committee. They’ll be here the day after tomorrow.”

     “Re-schedule it to the end of the week. Please. Cid, please.”

     “Just because you ask nicely? I’m not gonna lie to ya; I don’t think I’d do it even if I could. What’s more, I’m glad you came to me first, Lea, so that I could be the one to tell ya how badly you screwed up. If I didn’t have to be politically neutral, I’d be out there with them, Horsemen be damned. I’d be at the forefront, screaming my lungs out ‘til the they brought that bastard to justice. The fear you feel for Roxas getting hurt is what each and every one of them protesters are feeling right now. Is what us survivors feel at knowing that the man that took what we held most dear, can roam the streets freely when our loved ones don’t have that privilege anymore.”

     “He was possessed by Xehanort, Cid!” Lea said, exasperated.

     “All I know is that because of him, thousands died. He ordered the Nobodies to overtake the city and murder all that came their way. You can’t tell me I’m wrong, I was there. I saw it with my own eyes and I saw his face. Violence is no affliction to him.”

     Lea left in a hurry. The fastest way of dealing with this would be to go the Land of Departure himself and talk his friends out of coming here. Who was to say they had all the facts even. Master Yen Sid would never allow any of them here should he know of the disease spreading around Radiant Garden. He would never jeopardize Roxas in that manner, or anyone else. But Lea was stranded. If he left, Ienzo would have the legal power to ban Lea from Radiant Garden. No one had to know, but time passed differently in different worlds. Lea could leave now, but by the time he returned it would be well past midnight. Leaving a recovering former Xehanort-vessel alone for too long a time without supervision was not advisable. Terra had only been left alone for a moment, it was all he had needed.

     Lea left a note for Dilan about the workers at his office, and decided to use the Keyblade-wielders’ postal system to send Roxas a note. The postal system was still a beta version. The likelihood of the letter reaching its intended receiver was at a stunning fifty-two percent, but it was better than nothing. Lea reviewed his note before sending it and sighed at his excessive use of a phrase that had even outdone “Got it memorized?”; “Trust me,” he pleaded in the note and saw Roxas roll his eyes.

-x-

Every ten minutes or so, Isa found himself staring into the distance, his face warm and his pale cheeks colored red. Each thought circled back to the boldness of the moment when he had convinced Lea to go back with him to his bedroom. On occasion the flickering glee and pleasant disbelief that could’ve been mistaken for pride lost its beauty and turned into the ugly feelings Isa thought they were. Fortunately, they were easy to wash away. If he were to live his life as much as he wished to, he would have to drown in sin and hope that Lea was still granted a place in Heaven. Isa was the seducer, Lea only followed. If there was a god, he would know.

     After breakfast, Isa had gone back to the small basement. Old decorations from before Isa’s time were put out on the scarce furniture in the house. Amongst the piles of things his grandfather had stashed, Isa found the most important one when he accidentally had a small box tumble over. A small frame with the picture of his grandmother had fallen out. Isa put her on the wall by the counter where he stayed to watch the photograph. The jar of dates stood on the counter right beside him. Despite the sweetness hurting his teeth, Isa kept eating them slowly. It was enough to break the deafening silence.

    As a child, he had been accustomed to this kind of peace and calm. His conscience hadn’t been as tainted then as it was now. Peaceful silence was an enemy that lured out vicious voices and horrible memories.

     “Where was _addjá_ buried?” Isa asked the photograph, quietly.

     The proper question might have been ‘How many times did he spin in his grave because of me?’ but Isa wanted to know where to go when he was ready to apologize. Isa had a faint memory of a family grave that his mother had refused to acknowledge. She had a lot in the churchyard of the northeastern church in Radiant Garden. She was going to be buried next to her lover, she had said on multiple occasions. The northeastern church had been where Lea’s family went to mass every Sunday; where Lea’s father had taken Isa to relinquish the devil residing in him. Lea’s family might be resting there now, in their mausoleum with Isa’s mother and her lover as neighbors. Augustus should be there, too. He had belonged to the same parish.

     Isa tilted his head, his eyes still on his grandmother. The memory of Augustus had come suddenly. It had been behind an odd wall of fog. Isa had caught glimpses of the memories that lay beyond it, but never enough to understand them or to put them in context. Augustus had been a friend. They had been from different worlds, but had shared a love for the stars. The Astronomers’ Club had been the best thing about the city.

     There wasn’t much reason to look up at the night sky anymore. The stars had lost their magic. He knew what lay beyond their world. Aliens were a fact. Falling stars were usually travelling Keyblade-wielders. But even so, Isa wanted to put his old telescope out on the yard and hope for clear skies at night to observe the stars. A new mission emerged, one to re-discover the beauty and comfort of the night sky that had inspired him as a child. He wanted to look at it in wonder again and overwrite the associations that had been forced on him. Nilas had told Isa stories about the stars to help him navigate the forests. All those stories were somewhere in the fog, within reach. Isa wanted to retrieve them.

     The old telescope looked frail, but was, after yet another inspection, still in one piece. The sun had barely started to set when the temperature fell below zero. Isa shivered and buttoned up his coat properly. Should Lea wander back now, he would throw a fit and order Isa back inside the house before he could set the telescope. Thin clouds were pulling in over the sky. Visibility wouldn’t be great tonight, but it would be enough to start. A glimpse was all he was looking for this evening.

     With the telescope set up, Isa hurried back inside for gloves and the hat with ear flaps Lea had already lent him once. The gloves were on one of the tables in the diner, the cap was… Isa rounded the doorway into the diner in a hurry and just about walked into Lea and the bag of groceries by his feet.

     “ _Beargalat_!” Isa swore and pressed his hands against his face to keep himself from punching Lea in sheer fright. “Can you use the front door, please?”

     “I thought you were upstairs. Where are you going?” Lea looked at him intently, still in Isa’s space.

     Isa averted his gaze. “Right outside. I set up the telescope, and I had to come back inside for gloves. It’s cold.”

     “It works still?” Lea smiled softly. “Isn’t it a little too bright outside to be stargazing, though? Give it another minute. Help me unpack. I brought some stuff you might like.”

     “More stuff?” Isa looked down on the grocery bag, partly hoping for dates. Instead he saw small, tightly sewn hemp bags with wide labels on them. “Seeds?” Isa gaped.

     “They’re just seeds for rye, corn and potatoes. They’re the only seeds that can be stored in the pantry without having them bloom over winter, I think.”

     “Where’d you get them?”

     “You remember the small cellar in the front yard? My mom thought it was so ugly that she had it camouflaged with stone and then had the gardener plant thick bushes in front of it?”

     “Barely.”

     “I snuck in there. I didn’t think there’d be anything left after all these years, let alone seeds. Seems like the new owners don’t have a clue about the cellar. I must’ve been the first one to step in there since the Fall.” Lea disappeared into the pantry, carrying one bag of groceries with him.

     “Do you know if they’re buried?” Isa asked, certain that Lea would take his meaning.

     “I don’t. I haven’t gone and checked. They’re not on the Memorial Stone. I guess I sort of always hoped they got away somehow.” Lea took a deep breath as he put the groceries away. “It’s been awhile since I thought about them. It’s weird, y’know? To think that we’ve belonged to families. Do you have anything on your grandad?”

     “No. I’ve only seen an old file on him. They had him under surveillance for his rebellious tendencies.”

     “The apple doesn’t fall from the tree, huh?” Lea said jokingly, but his half-hearted smile when he walked out of the pantry made it clear that the subject of family was still one that hurt.

     “I think my grandad died in battle, either against soldiers or Heartless,” Isa said thoughtfully.

     “Why’d you think that?”

     “The house is still standing. Had he been killed here; the soldiers would have set the house on fire. Had he died of natural causes, there would be a death certificate here, but there is none. I think he died a hero.”

     “I thought you didn’t believe in heroes.”

     “I don’t, but he’s the exception to the rule.”

     Thinking about the file and Lea’s old cellar, reminded Isa that there had been a rebellion in the planning. People from the tribe had been abducted on King Ansem’s orders. No one had known what had happened to them. They had all feared the worst. With days without hearing from Isa, Nilas would have attempted to storm the castle to get Isa back. Isa couldn’t be sure, but what little evidence he had, pointed to his conclusion.

     Lea walked over to Isa. He took Isa’s hands in his and brought them close to his lips to place soft kisses on them both.

     “Isa, I have something to tell you. It’s not what I wanted, but I don’t have much of a choice…” Lea glanced back at Isa, an apology already written over his face. “At the end of the week I have to go back to the castle. The situation is delicate back in Radiant Garden right now and they need all the back-up they can get. I have to be there.”

     “I know,” Isa said calmly.

     “You do?” Lea’s eyes widened. “How …?”

     “Your contract expires at the end of the week. It was for seven days, right?”

     “Yeah, but… that’s not‒” Lea shook his head in confusion.

     “I don’t believe in miracles either, Lea. And it would’ve taken a miracle to make what we have into anything long-lasting. So, don’t worry about it.” Isa stepped back from Lea and turned to leave. Lea had the permission he needed to leave without remorse. It had been clear from the start to Isa that they weren’t going to last. A quick glimpse at their past was all they needed to know that a chance at a joined future was slim if existent at all. Lea had never chosen him. Circumstances had forced them together. This had been another one of those circumstances.

     Lea pulled him back with a tug of his wrist and ran his arms around Isa in a tight embrace. He let out a shaky breath against the nape of Isa’s neck, undeterred by Isa’s unwillingness to put his arms around him.

     “I love you, Isa.”

     Isa’s first reaction was rejection. He tried to shove Lea away, but Lea’s hold of him grew stronger as Isa struggled. The confession was deceitful, arrogant, impossibly true after all this time. They were nostalgia at best, merely an attempt to relive their time of innocence when maybe there truly had been something akin to love between them. Isa thought himself capable of still harboring such feelings. His lack of experience with life made it easy to hold onto the few experiences he had had. Lea was different. He had lived, loved, seen and experienced. There was no reason for him to hold onto a past as dark and twisted as theirs.

     “Let go.” Isa’s voice trembled.

     “No.” Lea shook his head and pressed their bodies closer. “We are long-lasting,” he said against the shell of Isa’s ear in a whisper. “The stardust we’re made of was forged in the same star, Isa. We were together long before we were born. Our problem is that we’re both stubborn and full of unnecessary pride. I can’t make the same mistakes again. I want to be with you in every way I can think of. I want to lead the herds of reindeer through the forest and grasslands with you. I wanna pick cloudberries, harvest bark, plough the fields, curse the bucket in the well when it unties from the rope. And at night, when we come back home after working together, exhausted, I wanna sink into you, kiss you, touch you, be as close as we were in the star that gave birth to us.”

     “But you’re leaving,” Isa reminded him. His hands gripped at the fabric of Lea’s shirt, ready to keep struggling to have Lea let go, but Lea’s chaste kisses on his neck were distracting.

     “It’ll just be for a while, until Sora can get here. Isa, I’ll come back. I promise. Please… please, wait for me.”

     Isa shook his head hesitantly.

     One sudden shove was all it took to break free when Lea dropped his guard and loosened his grip. Isa ran outside, past his telescope and into the forest. Lea's empty promises had led him astray too many times already. Nilas had been right in warning Isa. Innocence and ignorance had gotten the best of Isa back then, he couldn't let it happen again. Isa needed strength, advice.

     Lea yelled after him and tried to follow, but Isa was dressed in dark clothes, the sun had set, and the moonlight was much too faint to light the paths in the forest. Isa ran down the road that led to the ploughed field as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn’t stop when he ran out on the field. The forest emitted a low hum that helped Isa find his way across the field without tripping in small holes in the ground. If he closed his eyes he could hear the hooves of his reindeer against the ground, running alongside him. The clouds obscuring the moon parted. The moonlight reflected against the snowy mountain top, revealing more than just its contours against its starry background. Isa stopped in his tracks when the cool night air started to burn in his lungs and tears blurred his vision.

     “ _Áddjá!_ ” Isa yelled at the top of his lungs at the mountain. “ _Áddjá, veahkeha. Mon lean balan.”_

He cried for guidance. Freedom was as foreign to him as the cluster of emotions clogging up his chest, demanding to be felt. Nilas was the only person he knew who had ever wanted what was best for him, who had let him go when he had asked, and trusted him to come back. Isa sunk to the ground, shaking with muffled sobs. He had cried for many reasons since getting back, but this was his first time crying with grief for what he had lost. Xigbar had been right when he said that Isa had been quick to give up his identity. It had been easier than to face the consequences, easier than thinking about the pain he had caused his grandfather by being what he was and for abandoning him for a life that had never been for him. If he wasn’t that person anymore, he couldn’t hold himself responsible. But Isa was back now, and the consequences of his actions had waited for him.

     Isa stood up on trembling legs once the streaks of tears had dried on his face. He sniveled as he faced the majestic mountain, his lips quivering at the goodbye he had resting on his tongue. Isa said nothing. He turned to walk back to the house, and by the entry to the forest, stood Lea, waiting. A Dark Portal vanished into thin air. Isa paid it no mind and neither did Lea.

     "Isa..." Lea looked at him. His chest heaved as he caught his breath from his run through the forest.

     "Don't say things you don't mean.” Isa’s voice was thick and wavered. “Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. I'm fine with this coming to an end, Lea. Maybe this was closure. But don't make it into more than what it is. We've been through a lot. I know better than to trust you, but my heart is just as weak as the day I lost it. It listens to you. It remembers everything you say and do, and it's aggravating." Isa paused and wiped his tears away angrily. “What you said before, about the star and us being forged in it, did you rehearse that?”

     “... yeah, a little,” Lea admitted. “I did, but it’s not a lie, Isa. It’s not. I’ve been thinking about us a lot. Everyday I’ve thought about it. What we are; what you’re to me. I want you in my life, Isa.”

     “Why do you have to go back?” Isa took a step back when Lea moved toward him. “Answer.”

     “Riots. They’ve brought Kairi in. And Roxas is coming, too.”

     Isa laughed sardonically at that and took a deep breath to strengthen himself before he looked Lea in the eye again.

     “It’s not what you think,” Lea said past quivering lips. He hurried up to Isa before Isa could move away from him again. Lea grabbed his by his arms tightly. “It’s not what you think,” he said again with certainty. “Look at me, Isa.”

     Isa hesitated as he half-heartedly tried to pull his arms out of Lea’s grip. Lea looked him in the eye, undeterred by the tint of amber.

     “I’m trying to clean up the mess my dad and the likes of him left behind. I can use my heritage to do good, to help you regain some of what we took from you and maybe even help those we used for our own gain. We can be good people, Isa. Let’s be good together. Please.”

    The mistrust in Isa was fading slowly. He searched Lea’s face for any signs of lies but found none as he struggled to find something to say. Isa didn’t try to pull away when Lea held his hands. All he took notice of was that Lea wasn’t wearing mittens nor a jacket.

     "We were forged in the same star? Do you know how unlikely that is?" Isa said at last, attempting to sound annoyed as he pulled his mittens off to put them on Lea.

     "One chance in a million?" Lea offered weakly.

     Isa chuckled at the allusion despite trying not to, and shook his head at himself.

     "Isa, I... I want to be with you, and I mean it. I just didn't know how much I meant it until recently. I have to leave for a while. If you decide that you want to wait for me… just, please..."

     They fell into silence. Lea shivered in the cold. Isa placed his warm hands on Lea’s cheeks and gently wiped traces of tears away with his thumbs.

     “Let’s go home.”

    

     


	24. Diplomacy

* * *

It had never been easy with Isa. Lea had many times taken it as a sign that they were just not in the stars. They could try with all their might, but the universe would do what it had to do to restore balance. It was a lazy and simplistic way to see things. Lea could ignore all and every factor that had played a role in making them into what they were and comfort himself with the idea that he had tried his best to make it work when, in reality, he had run scared.

     Isa had inadvertently taught him patience, to curb the fire he used to burn down resistance and shape the world after his liking. Isa gave Lea a chance to not become his father, caught in misconception, terrified by the divergent. Even way back then, Isa had shown him other ways of life, soothed his fears and opened himself for new experiences, trusting that Lea would look after him as he had done Lea. In hindsight, Lea had been far from ready for such trust, but he felt ready now.

     As soon as they returned from the forest to the comforts of home, Lea closed the distance between them before Isa drifted too far away. He nuzzled Isa’s neck tentatively and slowly slipped his hands under the hem of Isa’s shirt. Isa’s warmth was astounding. The veil of ice Lea had seen on him for so many years had merely been an illusion, frost at most that would have melted away had Lea only dared to touch him with sincerity. They had never been good with words. Mostly, they had used words to hurt each other, to dig small cuts where they could impose themselves by infusing doubt, creating the strings they had pulled for manipulation. This – touching, kissing – was new. Lea had never used this as a form of communication or to get close to anyone. It had been a vice to rid himself of; a need he couldn’t handle. Isa demanded his attention and affection. Though shy, he wasn’t afraid to steer Lea’s hands to where he wanted them or to mimic Lea’s teasing.

     Lea had barely pulled his shirt off when he felt Isa’s hands trail up his torso. The bed creaked slightly as Isa sat up for better access. Lea leaned forward with a shiver and placed a kiss on Isa’s forehead. How Lea wished for more than the much too dim light to see Isa’s face and the look of wonder and excitement in his cerulean blue eyes.

     Isa touched for the scars that should have been there, the ones he saw behind closed eyes. Lea remembered their fight in the castle dungeons, the fear of losing to Saïx, the debilitating grief at having lost his best friends and seeing a shot at redemption in saving Kairi. He had been spared the scars. Isa ran his hands around Lea’s hips and pulled him in closer. He pressed his forehead against Lea’s chest to have Lea lay down on his back as Isa kissed down his abdomen.

     The first trembling breath against him had Lea glance down. Isa was nothing like the fantasies Lea had toyed with. The clash of eagerness and wavering turned every action into something deliberate and real. Isa’s plump lips, the warmth and wetness of his mouth drew Lea closer to paradise. Lea guided Isa with murmurs. Isa took it all to heart. He kissed, licked up and down Lea’s length until there was nothing coherent coming out of Lea’s mouth. There was barely time to warn Isa when he came. He was hit by a blinding light, and as it faded, his hands slipped from Isa’s head to his sides. He closed his eyes and didn’t open them until he felt Isa’s soft, shaky breaths against his chin.

     “Did you like it?” Isa asked, his voice low and keen.

     “Loved it.” Lea chuckled softly at the hoarseness of his voice. “Better than I imagined.” He ran his arms around Isa gently just as Isa hid his face in his hands and slid off to Lea’s side.

     “What are you _saying_?” The disbelief in Isa’s question had Lea grin. He turned to his side and tried to make the most of the dim light in the room to see Isa, but settled with rubbing the small of Isa’s back.

     “Remember that scarf you gave me?” Lea asked in a whisper through heavy breaths, amused.

     “Tablecloth,” Isa corrected him, talking into the covers.

     “It smelled like you. For a while, at least. Drove me near mad. Didn’t you fantasize about me?”

     “No,” was Isa’s immediate response, but he clicked his tongue as he reconsidered. “A little. And definitely not on purpose.”

     “So you couldn’t help yourself?”

     Isa said nothing in return. He sat up slowly instead. Lea followed. The fright from earlier was still fresh in his mind. If it hadn’t been for that Dark Portal, Lea wouldn’t have found Isa in the forest. Isa still knew this place like the back of his hand. He had run and disappeared into the dense forest as though he had been looking for comfort. Lea had feared the kind of comfort he had sought.

     “Listen,” Lea began quietly. “I know that we’re moving fast. Our situation is not ideal, but when has it been? I don’t mean to push you or demand anything from you. I just want you to know how I feel.” Isa’s cheek was soft against the palm of Lea’s hand. Isa didn’t move away, he placed his hand over Lea’s and turned on his head slightly to kiss his wrist.

     “I’ll wait for you.”

-x-

Winter came. The snow lay thick on the ground as well as the old roof. The structure creaked ominously with the newly settled weight. Had it not been for the threat of having the roof cave in on them as they lay cuddling in bed for warmth, Lea would not have ventured outside in the cold to assess the gravity of the situation. Searching for a proper spade took even more precious time, and Isa wouldn’t let Lea melt the snow away with magic. Finally, Lea decided to use the only tool at his disposal, his Keyblade. Isa watched him shove the blocks of snow off the roof with the legendary weapon, holding a gloved hand over his mouth to hide his amusement.

     The cold had colored Isa’s cheeks red by the time Lea got down. He chuckled gleefully as Lea pulled him in for a hug and claimed his compensation for hard work. They were free to act like this here, sheltered by the forest, out in the middle of nowhere.

     The day of departure neared. Isa found comfort in knowing that the four workers coming were friends. It had been odd to hear him refer to anyone as a ‘friend.’ Lea had not been soothed to know that these ‘friends’ were former Nobodies, but Isa insisted that they were on his side. They had protected him in prison, and Frank – a name that was mentioned much too often for Lea’s liking – had cared for Isa when he had fallen ill.

     The preparations for the workers’ arrival had started early. Isa had a large piece of meat roasting in the oven; it was a welcoming gift and a thank you. Lea had gotten it from a butcher in Twilight Town on Isa’s request. Meat wasn’t prevalent in Radiant Gardian cuisine nowadays. Few had the opportunity to hunt unless they hunted street rats, and with the belief that another Heartless-attack was imminent, no one dared to leave the city.

     Isa stopped to read his grandfather’s recipe book closely for a minute before he continued into the pantry where Lea could hear him hum while rummaging for what he needed or an approximation of it. The roast smelled delightful and would certainly be met with praise once the workers got to sit down and enjoy the meal, but by then, Lea would be back at the castle.

     “Isa.” Lea tugged at Isa’s washed sweater as soon as Isa was back by the stove. The green was getting bleak. “Let’s do something else. You’ve been in here forever.” Lea ran his arms around Isa’s waist and nuzzled his neck.

     “Something like?” Isa asked and stirred the pot of chopped potatoes.

     “We can make a snowman and lend him your sweater so you can wear me instead.” Lea smiled at Isa’s snickering. “Or you could draw me. Maybe do some drafts for the large, epic painting that’ll hang in the castle foyer. I’m thinking something classic like me naked on a borrowed couch to really show who I am.”

     Isa laughed. His ears were red.

     “If you think it’s too risky to display in such public place, you’re welcome to keep it for private use.”

     “I’m done with this in ten minutes. The roast has an hour left in the oven.”

     “And then what?” Lea asked, coyly.

     “And then we build a snowman, and after that, I can... draw a picture, of you.”

     “Will you be naked, too?” The pleading pout was apparent in Lea’s voice.

     “Lea!”

     Isa’s subtle smiles, his laughter, anything that served as signs of his happiness, were indispensable treasures. After so many years passed, Lea had forgotten the effects they had, their beauty, and now that he had seen and tasted them, he found it hard to reconcile with the fact that there had been a time he would disregard a life with Isa as a first choice.

 

Lea glanced at the snowman by the well as he pulled up the collar of his coat. It was time to fetch the workers and return to the castle. Isa had been sleepy when Lea kissed him goodbye. Fortunately, the food was done already, and Lea had helped him set the table. Isa didn’t want to go back to bed. He had gone to lay down on the couch by the fireplace to be ready when his friends from prison walked in through the door.

     The workers stood waiting by the city’s main entrance, accompanied by four guards. Lea had dragged his feet to give Isa more time to rest and to give himself an opportunity to read these people. The lot of them were big, burly men. Two had proper beards, a third had peach fuzz, and the fourth had the skin of a dolphin. They were all wearing light blue salopettes. It could be Ienzo’s wicked sense of humor in play. If they smelled like coffee, he’d know.

     “Frank, Rupert, Clark and Nicolas?” Lea asked sternly as soon as he was close enough. They turned around to face him. Lea greeted the guards with a nod and they all saluted.

     “You’re the redhead,” said the man with the thick black beard and reached his hand out. “I’m Frank Hathersage, friend of Blooey. Formerly known as Number Eight.”

     Lea shook Frank’s hand, glaring at him.

     “These are my old comrades, also friends of Blooey.” Frank pointed at each of them as they said their names. “I don’t think you remember us from way back when. We had different looks, and Blooey named us with numbers. He’s alright now though, yes?”

     “Yeah, Isa’s fine now. He’s been looking forward to seeing you again.” Lea exhaled at realizing that he had been holding his breath.

     “That’s good to hear,” said Rupert. “Last we heard of him, he nearly coughed a lung up.”

     “What are we working on exactly?” asked Clark, scratching his bushy beard. “We haven’t been told much. Are we starting a building project outside city walls? It’s gonna be rough. I only know how to handle wood, I know nothing about plumbing or electricity.”

     “It’s a program where you’ll learn how to farm, basically,” Lea began but was interrupted by Frank snortling.

     “Farming?! Sure takes me back. My old man was a farmer. Taught me some of it. Can’t say I remember much though. And Blooey’s in charge of this? I thought he handled deer, not potatoes.”

     “Isa is in charge, yes.”

     “Lead the way then, soldier, before this disease damns us all to a Hell worse than Xehanort,” said Nicolas with a shudder. The other three nodded in agreement. Lea stared at the lot for a second before he sighed and decided to simply teleport them to Isa. None of them struck Lea as a threat, but then again, Augustus hadn’t been a threat at first either.

-x-

The drop-off had been quick and painless. Isa’s friends had been too happy about the tempting smell of roasted steak to be bothered by Lea staying behind. Lea watched them nearly stumble over each other in the snow to get to the door first. Lea didn’t want to say goodbye to Isa again. If he did, he wasn’t sure he’d leave. Instead, Lea teleported back to the castle as soon as the heavy white door closed behind Frank and the rest.

    The castle foyer stood empty. Most guards stood outside the castle to keep the protesters out. If Kairi was here already, she would still be in training sessions. The Restoration Committee wouldn’t be ignorant enough to just drop Kairi off in front of the crowd and hope she would know what to say to calm them. Speaking to an angry crowd took skill and a different kind of courage, not the kind Keyblade-wielders were used to. Audacity was probably the right brand of courage. How else would anyone be able to speak from a high and privileged place and ask people to stand down when they lacked even the most basic things?

     The Dark Portal that had so many times guided Lea to Isa, appeared at the top of the first staircase. The wobble didn’t frighten him anymore. No Heartless or Nobodies had emerged out of it, and should they ever, Lea would strike them down. Lea followed the portal up the stairs to the second floor and down empty hallways until he was at the meeting room where he had presented his plan and made an enemy out of everyone in the Restoration Committee. There were people inside, talking. The portal disappeared and Lea opened the door to the room. Kairi stood in the middle of it, arms crossed, looking at Leon and Cid with a confused frown. Roxas sat on a table, seemingly as confused as Kairi when Cid tried to explain it again.

     “You’ll tell them that we’ll solve the problem _soon_.”

     “But you said you didn’t know if we could solve the problem, let alone when. So how would me saying to them that we’ll solve the problem _soon_ not be a lie?” Kairi asked.

     “Especially with the air tight contract?” Roxas added.

     “It’s not a…!” Cid gritted his teeth.

     “Listen, Kairi,” Leon cut in and patted Cid on the shoulder. “Yes, it’s a bit of a lie, but you must understand that lying will play an important part of this because if we don’t lie, people will die, and that will be much worse.”

     “I know why I have to lie, but that’s not how my dad raised me. He always said that it was important to be honest with the people. I can’t be honest if I don’t know what’s going on. I only agreed to this if you promised transparency with me, Leon. Why would you agree to the legality of this contract? Even and Ienzo wrote it, didn’t they? They are former Organization-members. They shouldn’t have this kind of power.”

     “We need them to restore Radiant Garden,” Leon said as though he had repeated the same sentence a hundred times.

     “Yes, to restore it to what it used to be. You’ve said that already, but why? Why to how it used to be? I don’t remember much from that time, but what little I’ve learned has proven to me that we shouldn’t aspire to something like it. My grandad was corrupt. The wealth was unevenly disposed. There were branches of office that went by unsupervised. And you are starting off this new era by protecting the people that helped destroy Radiant Garden over those they victimized. It’s no surprise to me that they are rioting. They are not being heard by the powers that should be protecting them.”

     “Kairi.” Lea stepped inside the room. He waved at Roxas discreetly, happy by the brilliant gleam in Roxas’ eyes at the sight of him.

     “Oh, brother,” Cid complained.

     “Kairi, I think we need to talk,” Lea said kindly, keeping eye-contact when Kairi looked back at him.

     “No, you don’t, Lea.” Cid walked up to him quickly, pointing finger.

     “That’s hardly your call though, is it, Cid? Or is Kairi under ‘close supervision’?” Lea glared at Cid dangerously.

     “Be careful when you deal with that weasel, Kairi. He’ll stop at nothing to get his way,” Cid said to Kairi instead.

     “Lea the Weasel,” Kairi said thoughtfully and smiled. “I haven’t heard that before. They say you took part in forming this contract, Lea. Is it true?”

     “That’s what I wanna talk to you about. It’s –”

     “Talk about it here, with us present,” Leon interjected. “Kairi wants transparency, let’s be transparent.”

     “Lea?” Kairi’s eyes wandered from Leon to Lea.

     Lea smiled politely. It was an automatic response in Kairi’s presence. Past indiscretions made him nice or at the very least agreeable. She was a motivation to hide his uglier sides, to coat them in sugar to make the words he said easier to swallow. He could be awkward and bashful, and those were two sides of him that became an essential part of his charm to those who didn’t know him well enough. It would serve him well now.

     “I’d prefer to talk with you alone, Kairi. I won’t mind repeating it to them afterward, but first let’s talk, you and me.”

     “Okay…” Kairi gave a slow nod.

     “Can’t Roxas join? I’d be the idiot of Idiotville if I were to trust you, Lea.” Cid said before Lea could leave with Kairi.

     “Yeah, sure,” Lea said with a shrug. “C’mon, Roxas.”

     They walked into a smaller room down the hall. Lea closed the door behind him and paused for effect. Roxas knew him better and his hatred for Isa still burned strong. He was going to be harder to convince. It wasn’t Lea’s main goal, however. All he needed was for Roxas to doubt himself long enough to not become a hindrance when he convinced Kairi to side with Isa.

     “Boy, you sure have gotten on their bad side, Lea,” Kairi smiled nervously. “What’s been going on? I didn’t think relations would be this bad.”

     “They haven’t told you how we got here?” Lea asked.

     “Not really. This was a last-minute decision. Riku wanted me to wait until he and Sora could come with me, but the situation was getting so bad here that I had to come as soon as I could. If Roxas hadn’t shown me the contract, I would know even less. What is this contract, Lea? Did you really help them release Saïx?”

     “It’s more complicated than that, Kairi. You know it is.” Lea glanced at Roxas when he saw slight disapproval reflect in his stern expression. “Isa was sick. Keeping him locked up here wasn’t doing him or anyone else any favors. I’m not saying that I condone what he did as Saïx, but Kairi, you know how we ended up with them. Isa was kidnapped, experimented on, brainwashed –” Lea paused for the calculated waver of his voice to sink in. “He didn’t choose this. I’m just trying to make things right. Where he’s now, he can help. He’ll teach people to farm the land. More people will have a chance to work, to feed themselves. It’s better than what they have now. They are all restless, rolling their thumbs in the slums, starving, catching diseases in that filthy environment. Ienzo warned them about the Horseman, Kairi.”

     “The what?” Kairi asked surprised.

     “The - what’s it called?” Lea had the name of the disease on the tip of his tongue.

     “Cholera,” Roxas said. “Cholera is a Horseman. It’s a metaphor. From the Holy Scriptures.”

     “Ienzo warned them about the cholera, but they ignored him,” Lea continued before Kairi could ask Roxas how he knew that. “I understand that people want someone to pay, and that someone should be Xehanort, but we killed him. It’s not right that this Restoration Committee uses Isa as a scapegoat or let the people of Radiant Garden keep thinking of Isa as the culprit. I know him, Kairi. We can do good here. That’s not gonna come across to the people protesting out there, but if you could help me keep this contract intact, you’ll see. You just have to hear the whole story.”

     “Is that why you’re here, Lea?” Roxas cut in. “To speak for him?”

     “No,” Lea shook his head. “I’m here to set things right.”

     Roxas clenched his jaw.

     “Were you ever told stories about the deer people?” Lea asked Kairi. “Remember that there were tribes outside of Radiant Garden who handled herds of deer?”

     “Hmm, my grandmother used to tell some stories about deer, but they were just stories, weren’t they?”

     “No, they were real. There were different tribes around the whole place, but the nobility of Radiant Garden wanted hunting grounds, mines to mine metals and land to build mansions for those who wanted to get out of the city, so with time, the tribes started to disappear. But the tribe in the East remained intact, and they were part of lots of conflicts with King Ansem. The Solars. They fought for their rights bravely, and Isa was one of them.”

     “Are you serious?” Roxas burst out in disbelief.

     “Yeah, I’m serious. Isa was - is - a Solar,” Lea said.

     “Why haven’t you told the Restoration Committee that?” Kairi’s eyes were wide.

     “What the hell is a Solar? Lea, what are you doing?” Roxas crossed his arms. “You have _never_ mentioned this before. Why now? For sympathy points?”

     “How much time have you spent with Cid?” Lea glanced at Roxas. “I haven’t mentioned this because I’ve never talked about Isa with you, or anyone else. Besides, it wasn’t my place to bring that up and I don’t know what the Restoration Committee’s stance on natives is. I’ve done so many things that none of you know about... I can’t take responsibility for everything Saïx did, but I sure played a big part in what he became. I’m trying to make it right now,” Lea paused for the repetition to sink in along with the new information. “He’s the only Solar left that we know of. He knows the forest like the back of his hand. He knows the soil. The wildlife. Isa can’t be locked up again, Kairi.”

     “I don’t know, Lea. I’d need proof. I think the Restoration Committee would like proof, too. The Solars might be just stories to them, too.”

     “That’s not a problem. We have loads of proof. My dad was in the Committee of Commerce before the First Fall.” Lea took a deep breath at the confession and acknowledgement. “He had an initiative to ‘urbanize’ the Solars. Isa was his test subject. There should be some official documents left – check the Academy’s archives. Isa has diaries from when he moved from the forest into the city. I think Dr. Even gave Isa a file on his grandfather who was a notorious rebel and a prominent member of the Solar tribe, so...”

     “Yeah, we’ll look into this, Lea.” Kairi sighed and brushed her hair behind her ears. “I hope you understand that there are a lot of things to consider. The people of Radiant Garden will be hard to lead if their need for vindication stands above all else. They have first priority.”

     “I know,” Lea said with a small nod. “That’s why I need you to hear the whole story, Kairi. I hope we can get together later today to talk without any rush. I’m sure Cid is bursting at the seams in the other room.”

     Lea followed Kairi and Roxas back to Leon and Cid. Why hadn’t he thought of mentioning to the others that Isa belonged to the Solar tribe? Thinking on it now, it would have been a way to buy time, but then Lea remembered why he hadn’t brought it up. He had been too busy being afraid of what Isa could be. Having him locked up had been beneficial. Isa would have to cooperate and Lea had had some reassurance in knowing that Isa couldn’t escape with Dr. Even’s diary. Lea’s interests had been different then.

     Kairi told Cid and Leon everything that Lea had told her. Cid laughed at what he heard as he paced behind Leon. Leon found the ordeal annoying rather than amusing. He stared daggers at Lea, arms crossed.

     “I think you are singlehandedly trying to drive us all crazy, Lea,” Cid said. “I want you checked for Xehanort residue. You are going out of your way to protect someone who was basically embodying the most sinister force the Worlds have known. We gotta put a stop to it. It’s not normal and I’m calling foul play.”

     “Do you even understand what you’re saying here?” Leon asked Lea. “The Solars were openly opposed to us. They rebelled against King Ansem a few days before the First Fall. They were dangerous even without being possessed by Xehanort.”

     “I would love to hear you repeat that in front of Aerith,” Lea said easily. “Didn’t the Royal Army wipe her people out because they were dangerous? Didn’t King Ansem end up giving that conquered land to businessmen in various committees to expand on our exports? See, I have a vague memory of it because my mom used to donate my sister’s clothes to the survivors of that massacre and I had an uncle who served as an officer at the time and loved to bolster about the army’s doing against those people on family dinners. You might have read about the events in history books, newspaper, heard of them by word of mouth. I sat and grew up with the men who wrote, told and manipulated those stories.”

     A rush of adrenaline had Lea’s heart beat faster. For years, he had done his best to deny his past. He had been detached from his history and roots. After a while, the memories became distant, and thinking about them was like remembering and trying to make sense of a story told by a drunk. As ugly as his past was, reclaiming it was empowering. It gave weight to his word. It was evidence that his life hadn’t begun with Organization XIII. His life had been here in Radiant Garden. He knew about a lot of the good in the city, but more of the bad. He had belonged to the ruling class, which was more than anyone in the Restoration Committee could say.

     “You will not turn us against each other,” Leon said sternly.

     “I don’t think I’ll have to if your stance will be that Isa is inherently more dangerous for belonging to an indigenous group. Aerith will have something to say about that without me interfering. I’m sure Tifa will stand with her and Cloud will follow. It’s just like Kairi said. There were a lot of faults with our previous government. I’d say the eradication and oppression of the indigenous tribes were one of those faults.”

     “I think we should take a break. We’re all a little overwhelmed by this right now,” Kairi cut in. “Let’s meet again tomorrow, preferably with everyone from the Restoration Committee. When is the next report from the guards due?” Kairi asked Leon.

     “Tomorrow morning at eight. I think we can all gather for a meeting after noon. How about at one o’clock?”

     “Yeah, that works. I think I’m going to be in the library to read up on everything. I’m going to need current reports on meetings and such…” Kairi pondered about the information she would need to get her hands on.

     “As long as you don’t use _him_ as source,” Cid mumbled and glared at Lea.

     The Royal Library stood grand and proud west of the plaza. There weren’t many people out on the streets. Most had joined the protests. Some had joined the neighborhood watch to protects their stores from being looted during this time of unrest and walked in groups of six, armed with frying pans and kitchen knives. The rest had taken shelter inside their homes.

     At the library, Lea helped Kairi find the archives she needed. Roxas walked around the shelves, searching for anything else that would be of help. Kairi disappeared behind stacks of files when she sat down by a desk. She didn’t complain. She reached for the first file she could grab and started to take notes while she read. Kairi wanted to do what was most right. This was her people, after all. Her adoptive father, mayor of Destiny Islands, had tried to instill in her the good qualities of a leader. They probably worked in a small town, but Radiant Garden was vast, full of people with created interests, and they couldn’t all be pleased. Compromise didn’t work for everyone.

     Lea sat down on the staircase outside the main entrance to the library. The snow lay in puddles on the streets. The surrounding buildings and the lack of wind had kept the snow off the library’s entrance, but the stone was ice cold. Roxas sat down beside him and glanced his way.

     “So you do have a past,” Roxas said.

     “Yeah.”

     “Is it as dark and gloomy as you’ve claimed it to be?”

     “Pretty much, yeah.” Lea chuckled at the innocent look in Roxas’ eyes when he glanced back at him.

     “Have you always known? About your past?”

     “It’s complicated, Roxas. I remembered, but it was a weird kind of remembering. It was like retelling a book and seeing it in short, blurry scenes where no one has faces and where none of it really belongs to you.”

     “I want to understand, Lea. This isn’t about paying back for small pranks you could have gotten scolded for, is it?” Roxas sighed. “How did you meet?”

     Lea hesitated.

     “I want to know, Lea. We’re friends, right?”

     Roxas looked at Lea with reassurance. Whatever Lea had to say, he would listen. Lea took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his heart absentmindedly as he nodded to Roxas’ question.

     “Outside a butcher’s shop at the old marketplace by the docks,” Lea began. “Isa was waiting for his granddad outside, on a bench. He was all geared up in a blue dress with lots of other colors, mostly red. We were about seven or eight, I think. He was guarding a package. ‘A deer’s head’ he said it was,” Lea smiled at the vivid memory. “He said it with such brute honesty. I think that’s why I remember.”

     “What were you doing there?”

     “My mom wanted to give the butcher a heads-up for a big party she was planning. She needed the finest meat to impress the guests. She hosted a lot of parties and gatherings. That time it was a party for my baby sister. A birthday party.” Lea exhaled slowly. Had Eve found out that he had spent so many years denying her existence, she would have kicked him back to the Dark Realm. “She was an artist. She drew a lot. I think she tutored Isa at some point, even. Eve was allergic to furry animals, so I couldn’t have guinea pigs at home. We fought… a lot...”

     Lea didn’t hear his voice grow thick. He didn’t stop until his voice cracked and swallowing hurt. Roxas put his arm around Lea’s shoulders gently. Not even during the worst of Lea’s recuperation had he divulged his past to anyone. The realization of having lost his family had come in small, manageable waves. This was a tidal wave. Lea hid his face in his hands and cried quietly. Part in grief, part in fear. Isa was his connection to his family. He had to protect it and failing was not an option. And yet, failure was imminent when Lea had to grasp for straws in hope to make others realize that Isa was worth protecting.

     “Listen,” Lea began as he wiped his tears away and cleared his throat. “I’m gonna tell you everything, and there’ll be a lot of things that you’re not gonna like. But I want to be honest about what I was.”

    

     

     


	25. Ghosts

* * *

After four extensive meetings, a decision was yet to be made. With the legality of the contract questioned, some wanted Isa to be brought to justice in order to appease the people of Radiant Garden. His crimes were greater than any of his alleged redeemable qualities. Lea had hoped Aerith would have something to say about such a decision. Isa was the last remaining Solar, but Aerith reluctantly agreed with Cid and Leon. Isa had caused too much pain and harm.

     “I understand your position,” Lea cut in when Cid looked ready to speak once more. “But I have to remind you that you’re one governing power in a line of many. You have to deal with the wrongdoings of those who were in power before you unless you intend to deny the atrocities in our history, in which case, you’re hypocrites.”

     “You can’t expect this to be treated as a normal case, Lea,” Leon said.

     “Why not?” Ienzo challenged. He had taken a long-needed break from his work at the hospital at hearing that the Restoration Committee had brought Kairi to Radiant Garden to review the contract. “I took part in the initial human experiments to understand the nature of the heart. My colleagues and I brought down the veil that protected us from Heartless. Yet you have me as Chief of Medicine. Dr. Even is a renowned lector at the University despite his role in the human experiments. You have Dilan as your General. While I was young and under the influence of Darkness at the time of the experiments, I was still somewhat aware of what I was agreeing to do. Isa was possessed. You are in dire need of resources to maintain this city alive. Isa can provide resources. King Mickey will not be feeding us indefinitely.”

     “Why are we still discussing this?” Dilan asked with a scowl and crossed his thick arms. “If the proof provided to you is not enough, question Isa directly,” he said to the Restoration Committee.

     “It’s not a question about proof,” said Cid. “It’s about justice. He must pay for what he’s done. It’s what we want and what everyone in Radiant Garden wants.”

     “In that case, you’re an idiot.” Ienzo glared at Cid.

     “Indeed,” Dilan sighed.

     “I’d like to speak to Isa before making a decision,” Kairi rose to her feet. “We’re not going to get anywhere speaking of it here. All we do here is attack each other. The people outside aren’t getting any more patient, so please.”

     “Speak to him about what?” Tifa asked.

     “About everything that we have read, seen. Based on what we have, I doubt incarcerating Isa would do anyone any good.” Kairi paused at the murmur of protests and raised her hand for silence. “I need to hear his side of the story. If he regrets his actions, I think he should be allowed to help us.”

     “And what will you tell the people?” Cid asked, crossing his arms. “You were against lying. And the guy who killed the soldiers is still at large doing Saïx’s bidding.”

     “Cid, please,” Aerith cut in. “I think Kairi’s right, but you shouldn’t go by yourself.”

     “I won’t. I will bring Lea, Roxas, Leon and a handful of guards,” Kairi said.

     “We’ll have to regroup,” Leon sighed. “Give us three days.”

     Three days turned to seven. The guards were needed at the prison as well as outside the castle and in the city to surveil the protesting masses. Finding even five guards proved to be a formidable task. Lea had been warned against telling Isa their plans. This was to be a surprise visit to make certain that Isa was as truthful as they thought him capable.

    A week later they struggled through knee-high snowdrifts in the dense forest. Isa wouldn’t want them there, but this needed to be done for the Restoration Committee to leave him alone. Lea hoped Isa would understand. As they neared the house they started to encounter markings hanging from the pine trees. The markings were meant to ward against evil forces, but were mostly for show. Still, the guards flinched whenever they accidentally brushed against any markings. The smell of an open fire and roasting fish told them they were close to Isa’s house.

     Isa’s friends from prison stood around a bonfire, butcher knives in hand, watching the fire turn the three split salmons above it a pinkish white. They all turned at hearing Lea and the others approach them. The four burly men hurried to them, forming a V-line, weapons in hand. They used to do the same when Saïx summoned them. The Berserkers would always form a defense line in front of Saïx. Lea had assumed that it was due to Saïx’s strict training, that he had used them as the tools they were, but it was loyalty that had driven his Nobodies to protect him.

     “Stand back,” Leon said to the men and walked ahead. “We are here on official business.”

     “Well, from what I understand, we’re not gonna have official business with any of you until harvest,” Frank said, undeterred by Leon showing him his badge and the weapon in his holster. “So what brings you to our side of the woods, Superintendent?”

     “Princess Kairi has matters to discuss with Isa.”

     “A princess, huh?”

     “Frank, where’s Isa?” Lea walked up to him, scanning the area.

     “He’s upstairs. We were out hunting and Blooey, committed hunter that he is, jumped into the river to get the salmon. Needless to say, he needed a warm bath after that.”

     “He was as happy as a pig in mud, though,” Nicholas chimed in with a laugh.

     “You went hunting? Frank,” Lea glared at him. “Isa has been sick. He can’t just‒”

     “Mr. Keyblade-wielder, I assure you, we did our utmost to keep Blooey in check, but he has a will of steel and insisted,” Frank said in an overly polite tone.

     “Let’s be glad we convinced him to wait with going to the mountain,” said Clark.

     “Has there been a man with a scarred face around here? Long, dark hair with streaks of gray?” Leon asked.

     “No, sir. We’ve had no visitors aside from curious squirrels,” Frank replied and eyed the entourage. “Is that how many it took to carry Your Highness out here or is that for Blooey?”

     “I’m here to ask Isa a few questions, just like Leon said.” Kairi stepped forward. “The guards are just a precaution.”

     “It’s best if you all wait here,” Lea said. “I’ll go talk to Isa and prepare him for the visit‒”

     “You are not to speak with him until Kairi has talked to him, Lea!” Leon interrupted.

     “I have to unless you want him to have a panic attack in the middle of your questioning. I’ll be right back.”

    Frank allowed Lea to pass, but got in the way for Leon to keep him where he stood.

    The smoldering firewood crackled in the living room. Lea hung his jacket and cap on the coatrack and hurried out of his shoes. Once upstairs, he stopped by the door to Isa’s bedroom. It stood ajar. The wooden floor did not creak under Lea's weight. Isa had not heard him come. The faint winter sunlight came in through Isa’s window. Isa stood in the middle of the room, back turned to the door. He had slipped into a new pair of trousers.

    Lea froze where he stood. Isa’s back was bare, his skin pale from years away from natural sunlight, accentuating that which made Lea hold his breath at the sight. Lea had only seen old pictures of Isa’s scars. There had been plenty of time for them to fade, but the marks of their battle were still palpable on Isa’s skin. Most scarring on his shoulders and back was a soft pink, others were a faint grey purple; they spread over his back like cracks in marble. The scars were darkest over his heart, like it was still pumping darkness. Isa didn’t look at himself. He had no mirror in his room. He didn’t let his fingers brush against the scars Lea was certain were as palpable on his chest. Instead he rushed to get his shirt on. Lea took a deep breath before he felt composed enough to knock on the door.

    “Come in,” Isa said while drying his hair off with a towel.

    “Isa?”

    Isa turned around at the sound of Lea’s voice. He stood still and watched Lea walk inside with caution.

    “What are you doing here?” Isa asked.

    Lea approached him slowly. He caressed Isa’s cheek and watched him close his eyes at the touch.

    “Can I kiss you ‘hello’?” Lea said instead.

    Isa nodded.

    Isa’s hitch of breath had Lea smile against Isa’s lips. He ran his arms around Isa and held him close. It was a long, gentle hello. Lea could feel Isa’s heart beat loud and fast with every kiss until he stepped back, slightly disoriented. Isa held his hand over his mouth and eyes onto the floor, taking a moment before he cleared his throat.

    “Are you alright?” Lea held Isa’s hands and bumped his forehead against Isa’s.

    “Yeah. It’s just, I didn’t think you’d be back ‒ so soon…”

    “It’s been more than two weeks, Isa.” Lea placed a kiss on the tip of Isa’s nose. “I’ve been going mad by myself, counting the days.”

    “But you are here on official matters?”

    “... yeah, I am. Isa,” Lea stood back to face Isa properly. “The Restoration Committee wants to renounce the contract. There’s been a lot of protesting and they brought in Kairi because she’s the heir to the throne - it’s been a mess over there.”

    “They want my land?”

    “No, Isa. Listen. Kairi is here to ask you about your past, about your granddad and the Solars. And me. And my dad. The Restoration Committee wants you incarcerated. Kairi wants your take on what happened.”

    “What for?” Isa resumed drying his hair to busy his hands.

    “Hopefully to make sure no one touches you. I’ve been talking to her about you, about the work you’ll do here. I’m sure she’s convinced. She just needs this one last thing. Isa, you have to tell her everything. About my dad’s program, a-about my role in it."

    Isa frowned and turned his attention to the floor once more.

    "Do you remember any of it?" Lea asked.

    "Yeah."

    "Okay. That's good, I guess." Lea sighed and scratched the back of his head. “And there’s another thing, Kairi brought others with her as well‒”

    “They stay outside until she has finished interrogating me,” Isa cut in. “I will not have anyone from the Royal Army in my house.”

    Lea was about to ask if the same was true for Keyblade-wielders but held his tongue. Isa had fainted at the sight of him and Roxas with Keyblades in hand. He vividly remembered their fight, how his scars had come to be; he didn’t need the reminder now when he was to divulge everything he remembered about his past.

    Leon protested at hearing Isa’s conditions. Kairi was not to be left alone with a ‘madman,’ but Kairi accepted the conditions and reminded Leon that she was fully capable of protecting herself. She went inside the house where Isa was waiting. Frank and the others stood in front of the door at seeing Leon eye it. Should there be a fight, they were ready for it.

    Lea walked up to Leon.

    “Relax, will you? Kairi is safe. You, not so much if you keep provoking them. And mark my words, you will stand alone in a fight with them. We’re not authorized to use our weapons against civilians.”

    “Prisoners,” Leon corrected Lea, but he stood down in realizing that Lea was right.

    “I thought former Nobodies hated S‒ Isa,” Roxas said. “Why are they going beyond call of duty to keep him safe?”

    “Loyalty,” Lea replied, simply. “Isa treated them the same way he treated his deer. He gave them names, cared for them, kept them clean and fed.”

    “But he drew the line at Xion?” Roxas crossed his arms.

    “He was someone else at that point, Roxas.”

    “Do you think he knows where Xigbar is? Xigbar did come looking for him.”

    “He doesn’t. Besides, it’s been awhile since the Dark Portal made an appearance.”

    “What Dark Portal?” Leon cut in.

    “The one Isa used to escape the correction facility. It’s been appearing here and there.” Lea said with a shrug.

    “Mostly around Isa,” Roxas added.

    “And you didn’t think that would be important information?” Leon scowled.

    “I did think it would be important, but I didn’t start seeing it until after I came here and by then you and I had completely fallen out of love, Leon.”

    Roxas snickered and Leon glared at Lea.

    “Did you hear anything? Were there Heartless?” Leon asked.

    “No. Just the Dark Portal. I thought something was gonna come out of it, too, but nothing ever did. It’s _just_ a portal and it always appears when there’s something going on with Isa. At least to my knowledge.”

    “What about that time Xigbar jumped out of one in Sector Seven and killed three soldiers? Are you counting that time as one that had to do with Isa?” Leon asked, annoyed.

    Lea fell into silence, not because of what Leon had said, but because of the portal’s pattern and behavior. It didn’t appear unless it had a purpose: taking Isa to his old home, having him talk to Xigbar, leading Lea through the dark forest to find him. It couldn’t be a coincidence. The Dark Portal was sentient.

    “Roxas,” Lea began, his face pale and fingers cold. “You haven’t seen the Dark Portal, have you? Or felt it? Maybe a low hum or something?”

    “I would’ve said something about it, Lea.”

    “I know, but think. You haven’t felt watched or like something was following you around?”

    “No? Lea, what ‒ I mean, maybe once. When we were looking for Isa, I couldn’t find you and for a second I thought you might be in danger and that’s when I saw a cloaked figure run toward the correctional facility. I followed, but by the time I was in the facility, it was gone. And after that, a portal appeared by Isa.”

    “A cloaked figure? And you said nothing?! That could’ve been Xigbar!” Leon burst out, exasperated.

    “Can you take a breath, please?” Lea turned back to Roxas. “Was it a short figure?”

    “I don’t know. It was like a lump or a disfigured shadow. I didn’t think much of it. Everyone was running around that night. Why? Do you think Xigbar’s been spying on me?”

    Lea shook his head.

    “No, but I do think we should pressure Ienzo for those test results from the Land of Departure.”

    An hour passed, then another thirty minutes. The former Berserkers didn't budge from the front door. They only stepped aside when Kairi walked out, sniveling into a handkerchief. Her eyes were puffy and a light red. The guards hurried to her.

    "Are you alright, Kairi?" Leon asked.

    "Yeah. Just a little stuffed." Kairi smiled weakly. “It was a little more than I was ready for.”

    “And Isa? Is he…?” Lea cut in before Leon could continue.

    “He seemed fine. He’s - he’s a little hard to read, but there were definitely more emotions there today than what I’m used to see.” Kairi paused and tried to clear her throat. She wanted to say more but she couldn’t get her voice out. Her lower lip quivered and she gestured with her hand, hoping that she would get a hold of herself soon enough, but instead she cried.

    Lea put his arms around her gently to comfort her. More than ten years later and the events that had transpired then still instilled grief in those that heard the stories of the survivors. Isa was one amongst many. Whether his story had been particularly heart wrenching, Lea couldn’t say, nor did he care to find out. Soon enough, Isa would finally be able to begin anew and pick up where his grandfather had left it all.

-x-

Ienzo was in his lab when Lea and Roxas walked in, looking for him. The weeks he had spent at the hospital had not gone to waste. He had made sure to train the other doctors in following protocol to subdue the spread of the disease, protect themselves, and help the patients help themselves. The protesters had yet to show any sign of the disease, but the doctors were on alert should another wave of cholera hit them head on.

    “Gentlemen,” Ienzo greeted Lea and Roxas calmly. “How can I help you?”

    “Did you ever finish testing the stuff you took from the Land of Departure?” Lea was quick to ask.

    “I did some testing. I had hoped to find out more with Xigbar’s help, but he has been very difficult to find. Why?”

    “When we went to see Xion, you said that there were traces of darkness around the whole place. Like someone was trying to get out. Hundreds of portals the size the head of a pin,” Lea reminded him. “You don’t think it’s Xehanort anymore, do you? You wouldn’t have put this on the backburner if you did. What do you think it is?”

    “That you have floating around in the tank, you mean? I have no idea what it could be. I can only say that it has a will and no body.”

    “It’s Xion, Ienzo,” Lea said with certainty and smiled. “It’s Xion and she’s been awake all this time.”

    Roxas looked at Lea, eyes big and full of hope.

    “Even if it was, Lea, how does it matter? She will not magically grow a body. Memory fragments aren’t like severed branches or leaves. You can’t leave them in water and hope they sprout roots and grow into trees. The best you can do is let it go.” Ienzo sighed.

    “She’s been here. With us. She’s been helping you. Isa. All of us. She is in there and if you put your mind to it, you can give her a body. Ienzo, please.” Lea drummed his fingers against the side of the crisp white table restlessly.

    Ienzo hesitated. He was intrigued.

    “Helped us how?” he asked.

    “That night when Isa disappeared and found his house, Xion opened the portal that led him there. She led me there. And… one night… I had a disagreement with Isa. And he ran off into the woods.” Lea looked away. Ienzo was staring daggers at him, gripping his thumbs tightly to maintain control over his emotions. Lea had omitted this in his reports. “I got scared because it was pitch dark and I couldn’t see Isa anywhere - anyway, Xion showed up, as a portal, and she led me through the forest to where Isa was. She alerted me when Isa was having nightmares. And, I think that, with what I’ve seen for evidence,” Lea paused, “that she, she brought Isa here. To Radiant Garden.”

    “Brought how?” Roxas broke the awestruck silence between Lea and Ienzo.

    “That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?” Ienzo said at last with a huff.

    “Think about it. You said it yourself. You didn’t know how Isa got here and with those wounds he had I highly doubt he swam here,” Lea reasoned.

    “Brought _how_?!” Roxas interrupted, louder this time.

    “Isa was reborn at the End of the World,” Lea replied, rubbing his neck.

    “What?” Roxas mouth hung open. “But… how? Is, is he human?”

    “He’s human,” Ienzo said in a determinate tone. “Do you realize the amount of power it would take to bring someone from the End of the World here?”

    “He had black matter stuffed in his wounds. How would he have tended to his own wounds if he was disoriented and weak? He probably thought he was still in the Dark Realm before he was apprehended. Xion must’ve helped him in the only way she could. Ienzo, you’ve helped Isa so much. You’ve basically made him your mission. I’m telling you that Xion made it possible. So, please. Help her, too.”

    “I don’t…” Ienzo sighed again. He looked around the room as though the answer would lie in one of the containers. “The research it would take, it would raise questions, outrage. I can’t be the one campaigning for it, not with my history. I’m not saying I’m against it. It would be interesting, it could help others. But for me to even get started, you would have to get the support of all Keyblade-wielders, Yen Sid and King Mickey especially, before taking it to the Restoration Committee.”

    “We could do that, couldn’t we?” Roxas held Lea by his wrist. “If anyone could convince them, you could, Lea.”

    “It will be a lot of work to take on,” Ienzo said when Lea hesitated.

    “I’ll get back to you. Don’t start ‘til we have everything in order.”

    The work; sales pitches, favors, meetings, project plans, they would all be worth it, but he had to start somewhere and that somewhere was to first sort out his thoughts, figure out strategies. But, most importantly, he would need time away from Roxas.

    Roxas glanced at him as they made it back to the castle foyer. He already knew that Lea would follow through. It was what he had promised.

    “Lea–”

    “This will take time, Roxas,” Lea interrupted. “And I’ll have to think carefully about what to do. In the meantime, don’t tell anyone.”

    “I’ll help, too!” Roxas said, but trailed off when Lea looked down on the floor, scratching the back of his head in a way that foreshadowed hidden truths he was about to share.

    “I’m going back to the house in the forest. To Isa. And I intend to stay there for a while. I’ll come back, for sure, but…”

    “I don’t understand. You don’t have to go back there. The contract expired for you. You’re free.”

    “Roxas, it’s – it’s complicated. I _want_ to go back.” Lea sighed, and then smiled apprehensively.

    They stopped at the bottom of the staircase.

    “But, Xion…?”

    “I’ll think of a way to make it happen, but I need to be there. I – remember what I told you about my past? Well, piece of it is still there, untouched, but what’s even better is that the future I would’ve had, had I been brave enough to choose it, is there, too. I can’t turn my back on it again.”

    “How long will you be gone?”

    “A month, maybe. Long enough to establish a routine. A farm is hard work,” Lea tried for another smile, but faltered when Roxas furrowed his brow. “I need to do this. I’ll have a plan by then, you will have ideas, too, and we’ll get this project started.”

    Lea looked down on the floor, afraid he would lose his nerve. The silence stretched for a few seconds.

    “I’ll miss you,” Roxas said.

    “I’ll miss you, too,” Lea said, sheepishly.

    “Does Yen Sid know about this yet?”

    “Yeah, I talked to him about it. It’s a done deal. I’ll leave in a week.”

    “I hope you find what you’re looking for, Lea. You deserve to be happy.”

    “Okay,” Lea cleared his throat. “You’re gonna have to stop talking or I’ll start crying and then where will we be?”

    Roxas laughed.

    “It’s okay to cry. We have to emote, remember?”

    “Not when we’re standing in the belly of the beast,” Lea said and held his hands out to point at their surroundings.

    “You’re always in the belly of the beast,” said Roxas and managed to get an earnest laugh out of Lea. “So, I hope you get to see what it’s like outside of the beast, Lea. I know I’ve liked it there.” Roxas smiled and squeezed his arms gently.

    The week flew by. The rumors of a new queen had been spread through the populace to test the waters before making an official announcement. The majority was content with the idea. Kairi was a promise; she would restore Radiant Garden to its former glory. On the day of the announcement, the protesting crowd outside the castle held their peace when Kairi stepped out of the castle and onto the small stage outside. Lea and Roxas had stood behind her and so had Leon, Cloud and Aerith.

    In the midst of promises, the rage people held diminished. What lies could the princess tell when she was Sora’s light, a savior amongst saviors.

   With the help of the Keyblade-wielders' connections, the Restoration Committee threw a feast for the people of Radiant Garden. Large wooden tables from the castle’s basement were brought up and lined outside on the plaza where the protests had died out. Rich and poor came out to celebrate their new head of state. Returnees from all sectors came at the news of free food. The Royal Army held a parade for the new Queen and General Dilan took the opportunity to not only flex the muscles of the army for everyone to see, but to renew its vows to protect the people with a speech that had so clearly been written by Ienzo. The crowd, merry with food and drink, cheered. With the cue from the colonels, they were all led to sing Radiant Garden’s national anthem. It hadn’t been heard for years, but the people still remembered it. The song had been Lea’s idea. People are easier to control when they feel that they are part of something bigger, like the rebirth of a once grand nation.

    The morning Lea left, many were still recuperating from hangovers. None complained, however, for their bellies were full and their hearts content.

    The walk through the forest gave Lea time to think, worry. Isa had been less than enthusiastic to see him. Every minute apart served to lead Isa away. Reliving old feelings had been therapeutic and helped him grow as a person, but Lea did not care for this familiar anxiety. He was reminded of Augustus and his conniving ways, his constant following Isa and the sensation of having Isa slip away.

    White smoke from the chimney told Lea the household was already up and that he would be interrupting breakfast. He heard the rowdy laughter of the former prisoners as soon as he stepped inside and then silence when the heavy door closed behind him.

    Isa peeked from the doorway to the diner.

    "Can we talk?" Lea asked, already out of his jacket, cap and boots.

    “Yeah.”

    Lea had hoped to have this talk in Isa’s room but had to follow Isa through the diner and into the kitchen, but not before awkwardly greeting the others. Frank gave him a solemn nod, barely taking his eyes off his breakfast.

    Isa went straight for the oven to take out the fish he had cooking.

    “Fish for breakfast?” Lea asked.

    “Yes. And it’s fresh. We caught it early this morning,” Isa said, proudly.

    _Haven’t you missed me?_ Lea wondered, his heart clenching at the distance he thought he saw between them. Frank and the others were in the other room, it could be why Isa had greeted him in such an indifferent manner. Whatever the reason, Lea wanted none of it. The agony of missing someone should be clear as day, but Isa still had Saïx’s capability of wearing an impenetrable mask.

    Isa had barely taken off his oven mitts when Lea pulled him close, cupped his face and kissed him with the desperation of a famished man. Everything Isa did for the rest of the day was to be overshadowed by this. Lea would haunt his every thought until Isa could no longer feign indifference. His yearning would have his body show what he would not say. A soft moan from Isa nearly had Lea lose his mind. He had Isa pressed against a wall. They were hidden in a nook between the stove and a cupboard. Lea would’ve had his way with him had Isa allowed him to, but instead Isa broke the kiss with a sobbing breath, eyes closed, his hands fists against Lea’s chest.

    Instead of protesting, Lea kissed and licked down Isa’s jawline, his hands on Isa’ hips and weight against him.

    “D-didn’t you – Lea? We were gonna talk,” Isa’s voice was barely past a whisper.

    “Have you missed me?” Lea asked as he pressed his hips against Isa’s, rocking ever so slightly.

    Isa nodded, eyes still closed.

    “How much?” Lea slipped his hands under Isa’s shirt and ran his fingers alongside the hem of his trousers. How he had longed for this, the intimacy of each touch, the soft tremble of his skin under the tips of his fingers.

    “Lea, what are you doing?” Isa managed to gain his composure and pushed Lea back a step.

    “What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?” Lea snapped. He searched Isa’s blemished eyes, uncertain about what he was looking for and paused. “Every time I come here you look at me like I wandered into the wrong house…. You said you’d wait for me,” Lea sighed before he continued. “Don’t push me away, Isa, please…”

    It would have been easy to turn around and storm out of the house and run back to Radiant Garden. How many more times would he be able to endure the clenching of his heart at getting that betrayed look before he gave into the voice whispering that they could never be? It was a reflex, Lea reminded himself. An ill-conceived habit that had no place here.

    Isa placed his hand over Lea’s tentatively just like he had done that night when he had asked Lea to come with him to his bedroom. Sincerity. It had been one of the many things that had attracted Lea to Isa. Lying had been a trait forced upon him for survival.

    “I’m sorry, Lea,” Isa said softly and paused. “This is still all new to me. There are many things I’m still struggling with - feelings, mainly, especially my feelings for you...”

    “Why? They haven’t changed, have they?”

    Isa quickly shook his head no to qualm the urgency in Lea’s voice.

    “They’re overwhelming. I’m afraid I’ll drown you in them, that I won’t be able to control them or myself and get you in trouble or ruin it for both of us or that I’ll run out of these feelings and end up an empty husk of a man.”

    “You were never empty, Isa.”

    “I was. For a long time, I was, but I’m not anymore. And if I seem distant, it’s only because I’m trying to process all of this. Because it still doesn’t seem real.”

    Lea brought Isa’s hand to his lips and licked at his fingertips. Isa sounded like a precious memory, like the Isa from before, only he was here, within reach. Again, Lea kissed him, every bit as famished as before.

    “Let’s make it feel real,” Lea said in a whisper. The small, disoriented nod was all he needed to lead Isa into the roomy pantry where he had stocked seeds weeks before. Lea closed the door, glad that some light from the kitchen made it in from the small crack above the door. Between two shelves, they found a patch of empty wall. Isa leaned against it, shivered at the cold of it as Lea undid his pants and cupped him gently. Lea kissed him, touched him until he held no doubts about Isa’s feelings. Slowly, Lea dropped to his knees.

    “Lea,” Isa gasped, his voice thick and wavering. He shivered again at the warmth of Lea’s lips and tongue trailing downward from his navel as he ran his hands against the back of his thighs. Isa tasted of the lavender soap Lea had brought, of the hemp his undershirt was made of. His skin was soft, heated, sensitive to the slightest of touches.

    Lea would have loved to tease him for much longer, but Isa was near bliss already when Lea took him into his mouth slowly. Isa gripped at Lea’s hair, attempting to hold his breath only to whimper, his legs trembling, his knees threatening to buckle with every humming suckle, every circling lick. Lea was ready for him once he came. With a firm grip on Isa's hips, Lea kept him against the wall, sucking on him until Isa had gone soft in his mouth.

    "You?" Isa managed to ask weakly as Lea stood up and pulled Isa's trousers back up.

    "I will wait until tonight," Lea said breathlessly. "You'll let me in, won't you?"

    “Mm.”

    Isa ran his arms around Lea’s neck, his hands in Lea’s hair and face in the nape of his neck. He needed the support. His legs were as steady as those of a newborn calf. They stood in silence while Isa struggled against sleep. The chitchat of those in the diner were faint in the pantry. Lea rubbed his hands over Isa’s back in gentle motions to keep him warm and close.

    “Frank knows,” Isa said at last.

    “What does he know?”

    “About us. I had to tell him. After you were here last time, I had one of those episodes at night, and I ended up telling Frank that we’re involved.”

    “What did he say?”

    “‘It’s your life, Blooey. Do with it what you will.’ But I don’t think he likes it.”

    “Does it bother you?”

    “No. He’ll come around. He’s bound to like you. _Áddjá_ did.”

    “Do you like me?”

    Isa snuggled closer and cradled Lea’s head.

    “ _Mon ráhkistan du_ ,” said Isa against the shell of Lea’s ear with tenderness so sweet, Lea’s skin broke into goosebumps.

-x-

Winter passed and so did spring. Lea found the routine he had sought. On days of rest he wrote down ideas for how to go about saving Xion, on any other day he worked alongside Isa and the others to improve on what had become home. They brainstormed solutions for problems that were new to all of them, fixed old tools and made plans for a future that was brighter than any of them had seen it for years.

    Lea spent odd weeks at the castle. He advised Kairi on matters that needed special tending, especially matters where he had knowledge that few others held. The remaining nobility in Radiant Garden was fickle and would do anything to regain former wealth and power. Digging up old contracts and speaking of old promises made to them as well as subtle threats were few of the ways they went about doing it. Their investments in the city were welcome and in order to keep them, they needed that certain kind of diplomacy Lea knew best. Cid called it blackmail, Lea preferred to call it charms.

    Though he enjoyed being with his friends at the castle, it was torture to wake up and not have his arms around Isa. He even missed the smell of Clark’s half-burnt pancakes in the morning, Franks’ woodcutting outside and Rupert’s unsavory puns along with Nicholas' snorting laughter.

    Once summer came, the lot they had used for farming stood in full bloom, tempting the animals in the forest. By next year, they would double the lot. Isa would not expand more after that. It was big enough to teach. To expand he would need to cut down the forest around the field and he would rather die than ruin the forest.

    The sectors were still part of Radiant Garden’s reality, just not as grim as it had been. Most houses had been built, and though work was still scarce, people held hope that they soon would earn a place in the farmers’ program. The farmers they taught would all receive a diploma and a small piece of land out west where they could grow their crops. Getting a spot was like winning the lottery, and now, with more Solars emerging, it was harder still to get a chance. The Restoration Committee had created a sub-committee to deal with such matters. Those who claimed to be Solars would have to prove it in order to have a chance to return to the forest. Isa was asked to provide the sub-committee with enough information for decisions to be made. Ienzo would come over for dinner to discuss it further. Lea was certain that it was just a pretense to visit Isa. With the work cut out for him, Ienzo didn’t have much free time, not that he would complain. He had started to consider the possibilities of Xion exercising her will in her current form and was astounded by the theological implications it would have. He likened being a Nobody to being in limbo, neither alive nor dead. He had gone as far as to call The World That Never Was ‘purgatory’ once, but had shuddered at the idea.

    But before any drudgy dinner for politics, Isa wanted to visit his grandfather. His visits could take whole days, and Lea had never been invited until today. They had walked uphill for hours. The sun was beating hard. There wasn’t a breeze to counter the nearly choking heat even the insects had sought shelter from. They all hoped for a storm to break through the stifling air by the end of the week. Rupert had been feeling the rain in his bones for three days already.

    “Are we there yet?” Lea asked and wiped his forehead with his soaked forearm.

    Isa stopped and held his hand out for Lea. He was falling behind and struggling against weather and nature; it made Lea cranky.

    “Is this where Nilas was put to rest?” Lea asked once he walked alongside Isa, fingers entwined.

    “I don’t know. I doubt it. There was nothing about his grave anywhere in the report.”

    “Why here then?”

    “Because he’s the mountain,” Isa smiled. “We came up here once a year. It was a test for stamina, patience, endurance. He’d tell me that as long as I was in these forests, he could watch over me. Because he’s the mountain,” Isa repeated.

    “That explains why he let you take the deer out,” Lea smiled back at Isa, bumped into him gently and placed a kiss on his cheek.

    Isa had grown thicker over winter and spring. He was no longer skin and bones. The sun had tanned his skin, the farm work had toned his muscles, he wore his hair in a ponytail, his bangs covered his forehead and diverted the attention from the scar on his face. Lea gazed at him and licked his lips absentmindedly. Isa was as beautiful as ever.

    They didn’t climb to the top. They were far away from the snowline, but high enough for it to be cooler. Isa led them to a secluded corner on a lush cliff. He had made a sanctuary of this place. A gravestone stood under a group of three birches, and by the mountain wall a bench. The bouquet of flowers Isa had left last time he had been here lay by the gravestone. At the sight, Lea held his breath. He remembered the first time he had met Nilas; a tall, well-built man with a prominent scowl on his face. Isa had said Nilas would throw him into the well, Lea had believed him.

    He half-expected Nilas to rise from the grave to toss him off the side of the mountain. Lea had not been good enough for Isa then and with the history they had now, he highly doubted Nilas would give him the time of day.

    “I’ve told him about you. And us,” Isa said and brought Lea closer to the gravestone.

    “Everything?” Lea gulped.

    “I’ve spared him some details.”

    “Am I about to be fed to the deer?” Lea sat down next to Isa in front of the gravestone, still holding Isa’s hand.

    “No,” Isa smiled. “I made you something.”

    He dug into his pocket where he had a small hemp pouch and in it a necklace; a chain of thin braided leather strings and a dark, round, polished stone that seemed like a piece of starry sky. It was a replica of the one Isa had given Lea as a birthday gift that one time many years ago. It glistened in the sunlight that made it past the crowns of the birches. Lea held it in his hand. The mark of Beaivi was at the top and underneath it was their initials, _I.S_ and _L.F_. It was the stone Lea had given Isa.

    “It’s beautiful.”

    “Hold your hair up.”

    Isa took off the necklace Lea had found in the raided jewelry shop and put on the one he had made. Lea took the opportunity to lean in closer. Isa let his hands linger. His soft breaths tickled Lea’s ear until Isa traced his lips over it.

    Many years ago, they had been but two lost boys searching for their place in a godless world. For all their religious teachings, they had feared none more than their elders and thus chopped away at themselves to fit the molds forced onto them. Together they had found a place where Heaven stretched down onto Earth, a place where they could just be. Time and circumstances had ripped them away from that source of light and led them astray.

    By fate, divine intervention, or sheer luck, they found their way back to the place where they had known peace, and as they held each other, they both knew: _I’m wanted._  


End file.
